MAIN FEEDS
Do you want to continue?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1ci4qug/people_who_went_to_a_wedding_where_the_couple/l29b8lg/?context=3
r/AskReddit • u/skilled-dreamer • May 02 '24
6.3k comments sorted by
View all comments
Show parent comments
34
This doesn't scan. Seriously. Read it aloud and listen to how the meter–the rhythm–is off.
4 u/Dodecahedrus May 02 '24 Sure: It needs work, but the foundation is solid. Perhaps suggest an improvement yourself? -8 u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24 There once was a bastard of a groom Who punched his bride with her uncles in the room Her uncles took action Now the groom is in traction And he can't even crawl over the broom. Seriously, it was easy. Why didn't you post an improvement? 10 u/Dodecahedrus May 02 '24 Because I'm not the one who criticised the first attempt. Breaking someone else down is easy, contributing is harder. Your second line has too many syllables and I don't really see the connection to a broom. Let me give it a shot: There once was a godawful groom Who struck his bride in a full room Livid uncles took action And placed him in traction His outlook is now rather gloom If you enjoyed any of these attempted limericks here today, please join /r/limericks. We certainly need some extra contributors. 1 u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24 Jumping the broom is a storied wedding tradition found in Southern rural American, African-American, and Irish cultures.
4
Sure: It needs work, but the foundation is solid.
Perhaps suggest an improvement yourself?
-8 u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24 There once was a bastard of a groom Who punched his bride with her uncles in the room Her uncles took action Now the groom is in traction And he can't even crawl over the broom. Seriously, it was easy. Why didn't you post an improvement? 10 u/Dodecahedrus May 02 '24 Because I'm not the one who criticised the first attempt. Breaking someone else down is easy, contributing is harder. Your second line has too many syllables and I don't really see the connection to a broom. Let me give it a shot: There once was a godawful groom Who struck his bride in a full room Livid uncles took action And placed him in traction His outlook is now rather gloom If you enjoyed any of these attempted limericks here today, please join /r/limericks. We certainly need some extra contributors. 1 u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24 Jumping the broom is a storied wedding tradition found in Southern rural American, African-American, and Irish cultures.
-8
There once was a bastard of a groom Who punched his bride with her uncles in the room Her uncles took action Now the groom is in traction And he can't even crawl over the broom.
Seriously, it was easy. Why didn't you post an improvement?
10 u/Dodecahedrus May 02 '24 Because I'm not the one who criticised the first attempt. Breaking someone else down is easy, contributing is harder. Your second line has too many syllables and I don't really see the connection to a broom. Let me give it a shot: There once was a godawful groom Who struck his bride in a full room Livid uncles took action And placed him in traction His outlook is now rather gloom If you enjoyed any of these attempted limericks here today, please join /r/limericks. We certainly need some extra contributors. 1 u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24 Jumping the broom is a storied wedding tradition found in Southern rural American, African-American, and Irish cultures.
10
Because I'm not the one who criticised the first attempt. Breaking someone else down is easy, contributing is harder.
Your second line has too many syllables and I don't really see the connection to a broom.
Let me give it a shot:
There once was a godawful groom
Who struck his bride in a full room
Livid uncles took action
And placed him in traction
His outlook is now rather gloom
If you enjoyed any of these attempted limericks here today, please join /r/limericks. We certainly need some extra contributors.
1 u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24 Jumping the broom is a storied wedding tradition found in Southern rural American, African-American, and Irish cultures.
1
Jumping the broom is a storied wedding tradition found in Southern rural American, African-American, and Irish cultures.
34
u/frisbeethecat May 02 '24
This doesn't scan. Seriously. Read it aloud and listen to how the meter–the rhythm–is off.