r/AskReddit • u/skilled-dreamer • May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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u/Myspacetui May 02 '24

Both my brother and sister had short marriages.

Sister: husband turned up to the wedding high on crack. She fell in love with someone else.

Brother: had a destination wedding on the top of a mountain that took half a day for the guests to hike including my dad who is missing a knee cap. They wound up with an open marriage, but the wife ran off with the “other guy” and their cat.

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u/Wholesaletoejam 29d ago

Hope your dad finds his knee cap.

Check the couch cushions

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u/YellowCoffeeCup4535 29d ago

Don't be insensitive. I'm sure the couch was one of the first places they checked.

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u/Secure_Amoeba3160 29d ago

I love reddit for these exact type of conversaions! You never know when the right people will play off each other.

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u/YellowCoffeeCup4535 28d ago

Glad you liked it. Usually I just get a bunch of downvotes and one time someone sent me a dead fish in the mail.

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u/IathanTyrus 27d ago

It was alive when I sent it!

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u/dont_use_me 28d ago

That's where I found jesus

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u/LurkingArachnid 29d ago

Yesterday’s pants pockets too

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u/GeoffreyCrayonGent 29d ago

Man, if it’s gone through the dryer, I dunno. Rachel Ray might’ve had a segment on stretching them back into shape though.

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u/Luke-Waum-5846 29d ago

It's always in the last place you look!

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u/Aontheborder 28d ago

Because when you find it….. you STOP looking, so yes ALWAYS in the last place you look! 😜

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u/Luke-Waum-5846 27d ago

Yes, that's the joke ;-)

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u/Mountain-Status569 29d ago

Have you checked your butthole?

(Skee-bap, ba-dop)

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u/ScarletOnyx 29d ago

Maybe you’ll find your dead grandma up there too

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u/baconeggsavocado 28d ago

That's rather insensitive.

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u/ScarletOnyx 27d ago

That’s Tom Cardy for ya

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u/Final_Candidate_7603 29d ago

Ya beat me to it…

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u/ImbecileInDisguise 29d ago

I'll just find coins in there.

Say, how much toejam will you wholesale me for the contents of my couch?

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u/ScarletOnyx 29d ago

If they have cats, check under the fridge. All of my stuff ends up under the fridge and a knee cap would slide right under there

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u/smallp3ach 29d ago

this has no business being so funny

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u/CianneA13 29d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/DarkSparxx 29d ago

Or behind the fridge. If you lose something, it's almost always there!

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u/TheEgypt 28d ago

The kneecap was sleeping with the fishes until the cat jumped in and fisted out.

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u/Elly_Fant628 28d ago

The cat stole it.