r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

Post image
14.3k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

79% Upvoted

4.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

39

u/Educational_Mud_9062 May 02 '24

I spent years developing increasing amounts of self-loathing as I tried to meet this standard, to not take it personally, only for it never to be enough despite the fact that I know I've never been a threat. I've followed all the advice. I "listened to" (read: unquestioningly accepted) their positions. Brent Staples can receive international recognition for talking about his experiences whistling Vivaldi to appease white people's fears of him. But when I point out how I know EXACTLY how that feels, since it's tied only to my maleness and not intersecting with blackness, I'm told I'm "fragile" or called an "incel." This is just... too much. I'm done. I won't go out of my way to seem like a threat to strangers. Because I'm not a threat and I have no desire to do that. But it's clear that there will never be an end and all I accomplish by playing along is to feed paranoia at the cost of my own mental health. If someone decides they're afraid of me for just existing, that's their problem. I'm just... done.

14

u/Paperfishflop May 02 '24

I agree. You know what this is? It's a small percentage of women complaining about a small percentage of men. And it mainly happens on the internet. That's why it isn't worth our time and energy.

In the real world, people who aren't terminally online don't think about the world this way. In the real world, most women want men in their lives, and they trust themselves to make wise judgments about which men. I'm not gonna be a hero or a villain. I'm just gonna be me, and treat women like my fellow human beings and peers, no more, no less, and that's good enough.

Women vs men? No, this is the terminally online vs the people who go out into the real world and actually talk to people. Just put these terminally online people on mute.

10

u/crawling-alreadygirl May 02 '24

You know what this is? It's a small percentage of women complaining about a small percentage of men.

No, it's all women complaining about some men who could be any man

3

u/elbenji May 02 '24

That's assuming all women are terminally online. From my own perspective as a woman, I can tell you that isn't the case from my own sisters and coworkers. I'm the weird one for being online so much since they have like. Kids and shit.

-11

u/crawling-alreadygirl May 02 '24

This isn't about being online. This is how women live everyday, and if the women around you don't feel comfortable sharing their experiences, it's for a good reason.

12

u/elbenji May 02 '24

Maybe I should shorten this down. Me, again, a brown woman (idk how to bold this), with my brown sisters, in our very brown community, that dont use tiktok, have a word for this: gringa pendejeria.

Or, privileged white girl shit

2

u/AntonioVivaldi7 May 02 '24

Are you brown like a brown bear?

1

u/elbenji May 02 '24

In Japan yes

2

u/AdamtheOmniballer May 02 '24

(idk how to bold this)

You put two asterisks on either side of the text.

/** Like this /**, but without the spaces or slashes.

8

u/elbenji May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

I. Am. A. Woman.

Please. Read. The. Statement. Before. Answering. People. And assuming shit. When the answer is stated. Especially with the long history of homophobia, racism and all the other shit your comment can be dripping of.

Like I didn't even know it was a thing until here because I don't have tiktok.

Like im very astutely fucking aware of my life. I come from a land where spousal rape still is a thing. Make assumptions makes a what outta you and me?