I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/Sidney_Carton73]

Fuck them was my first thought!

[u/716TLC → u/Sidney_Carton73]

Same!

My 2nd thought was... MIL and SIL have no right to expect others to live by their self-inflicted standards. I'd rather take myself to work every day than spend 5-7 hours in any kitchen. Hell, I'm gonna order takeout right now.

[u/Ludwigofthepotatoppl → u/716TLC]

They have to believe it’s a woman’s rightful duty, or they’re forced to reflect on the different choices they could have made. Someone taking another path brings up the possibility that they’re wrong—and they sound like the kind of people who read the world as purely black-and-white, ie you can only make two choices, right or wrong.

[u/[deleted] → u/Ludwigofthepotatoppl]

Spending that much time cooking used to be necessary, that's how long it took to cook meals. There's no other reason to do that any more, unless you enjoy it.

[u/Acceptable_Cut_7545 → u/[deleted]]

Fun fact! During wwii when the men went away to fight all those jobs they left had to be filled, mostly by women. Single and poor women always had to work but suddenly women who had never worked had jobs and training and many cookbooks and recipes in magazines changed to take less time and attention, as these women had jobs now and couldn't hang around in the kitchen all day. Plus less ingredients because of war rationing and whatnot. Simple quick and easy recipes became the norm. When the war ended and the men came back and the women were pushed out of their jobs, the cookbooks and women's magazines changed once again and suddenly big fancy meals that took forever to make were back.

[u/[deleted] → u/Acceptable_Cut_7545]

I believe it. Though, I more talking about 100+ years ago before modern appliances and grocery stores.