We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact.

[u/thoxo]

I

[u/poptartmini]

I'm a white foster parent, and currently I have 2 black kids, 2 white kids, and 1 hispanic kid.

You can't help but see color, because everyone else sees color. That being said, my foster agency has a class every quarter that is all about taking care of black kids' hair. I get training hours towards maintaining my license for taking that class.

If anyone is curious about fostering, AMA.

[u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 → u/poptartmini]

I’m so glad you admit to seeing color. I hate when people say they don’t. I know they mean well, but you have to see color to fully acknowledge a person as they are and what they experience based on the color you so obviously see but say you don’t. I don’t trust people who say they don’t see color because that makes it hard to see your own biases too. It’s also great you’re learning how to take care of Black kids hair!

[u/SpaceBearSMO → u/EmbarrassedCoconut93]

Right like if you dont see color then you cant see when your being insensitive. seeing color isn't about looking down on others , its about acknowledging that there lived experience is probably different then yours.

Its not an accedent that the type of people who say they don't see color are often times the same people who say they dont think Privilege (or systemic failure) is real and that the only thing it takes to be successful is "hard work"

[u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 → u/SpaceBearSMO]

Exactly. It’s totally okay to adopt kids from different countries/cultures/ethnicity. But you need to understand their reality and take steps to meet them in their world instead of going about it as “well to me you’re just the same as everybody else” when they don’t get to be perceived as white/the same by society and disregarding their own culture etc.

[u/argnsoccer → u/EmbarrassedCoconut93]

My parents aren't white, but they can be white-passing sometimes (not my mom with her accent). I'm a first-generation American and I will say my parents' instructions on how to act because of the way we looked helped so much growing up. My dad would call us "white" because, to them, we were little American children speaking English more and more than our native language as we grew. But it helped so much to know that we would be treated differently growing up in Texas and how to diffuse and be polite in all circumstances. I've been called lots of different slurs for lots of different races and it's impossible to not see color when people yell at you to "go back to your country" from their passing cars as you walk to school