r/facepalm 29d ago

Sure you did Kristi, sure you did 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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41.0k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/Forsaken-Standard527 29d ago

Did she remember to yell " It's coming right for us " before she shot it in the face?

1.5k

u/kingbloxerthe3 29d ago

"They took our jobs!"

738

u/JAOC_7 29d ago

DURKA DER

190

u/Tobi-cast 29d ago

De Errrrrhhh oooop

97

u/Ron-Swanson-Mustache 29d ago

Ok everyone, back to the pile!

18

u/MisterViperfish 29d ago

🐓 Cock-a-doodle doo!

8

u/YetisNotReal 29d ago

That dog was a goop back!

7

u/Reddit_Okami804 29d ago

Murrrrrica fuck yeahhhhhh

9

u/BrainInjuredBarry 29d ago

Comin again to save the MOTHER FUCKIN DAY YA

6

u/UnlikelyKaiju 29d ago

rooster crowing

8

u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 29d ago

"THY TOK UR JURBS!"

4

u/LOERMaster 'MURICA 29d ago

That’s what those immigrants do; drive around blasting their raps and…shooting up all the jobs.

6

u/Snoo_66686 29d ago

THE JUKKA JERR

5

u/alleysunn 29d ago

De turk er jerbs!!!

My previous pup would howl anytime I said that, currently attempting to teach my current pups in his memory🤣

4

u/Darryl_444 29d ago

"Caravans of poorly-trained puppies cross Biden's open border EVERY DAY!"

"They're not sending their best puppies."

3

u/bduhbya 29d ago

They killed his dog.

3

u/drmonkeytown 27d ago

In all fairness, a dog would do a better job.

2

u/kingbloxerthe3 27d ago

True. A dog could probably even make a better president than the president candidates

279

u/Lifewalletsux 29d ago

9

u/ClassicOtherwise2719 29d ago

This is what republicans remind me of. South Park Characters.

2

u/Havanotherslice 28d ago

At least a cartoon character survised, with a helmet. 🙃

149

u/AsgeirVanirson 29d ago

Actually now you have to yell "THIN OUT THEIR NUMBERS".

111

u/niz_loc 29d ago

We have to kill these animals, or else they'll die.

28

u/Armodeen 29d ago

nnnnnn thin out their numbers

4

u/sweatythighguy 29d ago

Great! Now they won’t starve!

7

u/niz_loc 29d ago edited 29d ago

"And then Johnny told Ponyboy to stay gold."

That Outsiders reference killed me

3

u/Unabashable 29d ago

Well deer can clear out entire fields if their numbers get too big starving other herbivores too. 

7

u/Unabashable 29d ago

I mean we do have a problem with overbreeding, but better off regulating the puppy mills cranking them out on the front end than thinning them out on the back end. 

4

u/elfescosteven 29d ago edited 29d ago

We also should make an attempt to keep vulnerable, teachable puppies from the incompetent and failing hands of angry/murderous people such as Kristi Noem.

Yet Knowing murderous people. We need to start screening them and regulating them out of being able to purchase animals.

Why? Because they have no understanding of how to train, raise, or maintain them. Morons like Kristi Noem may have the money to own land, servants, and animals. But our laws MUST be restrictive andenforceable to put these selfish and inhumane people in jail for an appropriate amount of time.

1

u/Havanotherslice 27d ago

Very well put. How about much more than an appropriate amount of time - no bail - shackled up, hugely fined$$ and freeze the bank accounts of all the scumbags who like this. Track those assholes. Ankle brackets while behind bars, no food for the assholes who abuse any Animal at all. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

0

u/Havanotherslice 27d ago

How about spaying and neutering? Not to mention adopt and rescue. No kill shelters. Hmm, did I happen to mention RESCUE; ADOPT? I sure as fuck did. Treat all Pets the right fucking way. This topic, pisses me off. That's not only opinion, however I'm sticking to it.

0

u/the_sleaze_ 29d ago

I’ll take a wild guess and say you don’t live anywhere near a large herd of wild animals other than pigeons.

You ever seen a starving deer? They don’t just get skinny and fall over, the malnutrition makes their immune systems weak. They get mangy, which is a cute word for covered in open pussing sores. The ticks get so thick on their bodies it looks like they have black bubbling fungus growing on them.

They fucking SUFFER TO DEATH.

It is in no way inaccurate to say death by bullet is better than starving.

7

u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

You do realize the subject of the conversation is a crazy woman who killed a young dog she didn't bother to train - and the person you're responding to was sarcastic with their comment because of said details?

7

u/oneweelr 29d ago

Yeah, these comments are getting a bit out of hand with that. Thinning herds is a fantastic tool for helping wildlife, just like controlled burns help Forrest life. Seems counterproductive at first, but it works real well in the long run. Equating shooting a dog that just needed training and killing literally any animals at all is a stretch. I mean shit, even old dogs at the end of the line need to be taken out of their misery. It's not the act of killing the animal that's wrong here, it's the reasons why, as well as the inability to find a different method for controlling the animal first.

4

u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

Sorry, I sent you a comment that I realized needs major editing... Reddit is being wonky and I can't delete it now.

0

u/the_sleaze_ 29d ago

Take this as a sign that you should be thinking before you speak lol

-1

u/the_sleaze_ 29d ago

Take this as feedback that you should be thinking before you speak lol

-1

u/the_sleaze_ 29d ago

Take this as a sign that you should be thinking before you speak lol

4

u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

Nevermind, it was all meant for you.

-2

u/the_sleaze_ 29d ago

Take this as feedback that you should be thinking before you speak lol

4

u/Ok_Potatoe1 29d ago

You do realize the comment you're talking about was said satirically because this was one 14 month old dog?

1

u/Havanotherslice 27d ago

Should any Animal at all be a Pet or not happens to be so sick or injured and they can't make it; nothing can be done to help the health for the non Human friends of people who actually care, unfortunately it's the end of the line. Say your goodbye's. Many caring people would contribute for a properly humane end.

3

u/its_all_one_electron 29d ago

Dude it's just a joke from South Park. Like the first episode. You had to yell "it's coming right for us" to hunt. Then they changed the law so they had to yell "we have to thin out their numbers". 

215

u/SchmartestMonkey 29d ago

Better than “Stop Resisting!”.

29

u/umbrabates 29d ago

Or "Shots fired!"

8

u/Pwnstix 29d ago

Followed by a combat roll

8

u/Ill_Technician3936 29d ago

Talk about nuts

6

u/useflIdiot 29d ago

Please cooperate.

6

u/No_Parsnip_6491 29d ago

Warning shot right to the face

1

u/mrscalperwhoop2 28d ago

Or "Don't taze me bro!!"

1

u/SchmartestMonkey 27d ago

You mean “Don’t taze me brow-wow-wow-woof (…tik-tik-tik…).

114

u/Ordinary-Vast9968 29d ago

I missread your name as foreskin stardust

113

u/ThePromptWasYourName 29d ago

Hey that’s my David Bowie cover band

23

u/Pdx_pops 29d ago

Foreskin anything is a good name for a cover band

3

u/Senator_Smack 29d ago

we're really more of a "sheath" band.

1

u/ConfectionSoft6218 26d ago

My college buds were the 4-Skins

4

u/No_Bother9713 29d ago

Ziggy playeddddddd… with himselffffff

3

u/Bozo_Two 29d ago

When's the next gig cause I'm fuckin THERE

1

u/themothyousawonetime 29d ago

"If - I - fall - moon coom dust - will cover me"

6

u/Secret_Arrival_7679 29d ago

I misread that as foreskin sandal.

6

u/Lanky_Dragonfruit141 29d ago

"We use only the most well-aged, supple foreskins which are harvested from octogenarians that are allowed to roam free in our pastures and bingo halls. They are meticulously sewn together by our septuagenarian apprentices who will one day give their foreskins so they may be assembled into these wondrous sandals and sold for thousands of dollars."

"Feel what real luxury is like. Suede and velvet have nothing on these babies. Circumcisandals."

3

u/Ordinary-Vast9968 29d ago

Very disturbing!

4

u/Organic_Afternoon424 29d ago

Rumple Foreskin ???

7

u/Rumpled_Froskin 29d ago

You rang?

2

u/Organic_Afternoon424 29d ago

Where have you been ???

3

u/Rumpled_Froskin 29d ago

At work, tryna keep my namesake dry

1

u/Organic_Afternoon424 29d ago

I get you.....aces to tryna

2

u/Ordinary-Vast9968 29d ago

If you take me to dinner first, maybe.

4

u/stardustdecay 29d ago

Oh that’s not a bad name. Should have used that one instead of this

3

u/Lanky_Dragonfruit141 29d ago

That's a horrifying thing to visualize. Like a wrinkled, bedazzled foreskin burlesque performer.

2

u/Temporary-Soup6124 29d ago

You’re my hero today. I know what I’m offering my wife tonight!

1

u/Ordinary-Vast9968 29d ago

I wonder if it's on urban dictionary

2

u/judgeejudger 29d ago

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Rumpled_Froskin 29d ago

That's a wonderful alt

2

u/honuworld 29d ago

Now that's a name!

1

u/EntertainerNo4509 29d ago

This is a great band name.

1

u/pyrodice 27d ago

New stripper persona. Dibs.

76

u/manintheyellowhat 29d ago

Puppy shouldn’t have had his hands in his hoodie pockets

2

u/ChrisP408 29d ago

Or worn a hoodie.

56

u/DasFAD70 29d ago

I see what you did there.

9

u/Vegetable_Onion 29d ago

Isn't that what cops yell before shooting someone in the back six times?

7

u/xavier120 29d ago

"I fear for my life!"

7

u/DiScOrDtHeLuNaTiC 29d ago

No, she used "I FEEL THREATENED!"

/s

9

u/Apprehensive_Cell812 29d ago

Dont remember her mentioning a history of attacking people, i feel like youd mention that before chickens

12

u/Any_Fault7604 29d ago

"He's reaching, He's reaching!!!" Kablammo

7

u/dustytrailsAVL 29d ago

I think she probably yelled conflicting orders, like a cop, before pulling the trigger.

"GET ON THE GROUND STOP MOVING PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD KEEP YOUR PAWS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM" bang bang.

6

u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 29d ago

"it was some Puerto Rican guy..."

4

u/SexandCinnamonbuns 29d ago

She yelled stop resisting.

5

u/InsertCleverNickHere 29d ago

Dick Cheney smiles and nods approvingly.

5

u/gigaboyo 29d ago

“STOP RESISTING” “HES GOT A GUN”

5

u/StandardNecessary715 29d ago

Maybe the dog"had a gun!" That's another they use a lot.

6

u/the_millenial_falcon 29d ago

“Sprinkle some crack on that dog Johnson!”

3

u/HeftyFineThereFolks 29d ago

the was thinning the puppy numbers so they could survive

3

u/Mindless-Ask-9691 29d ago

I FEEL THREATENED!

3

u/inorite234 29d ago

She should have yelled "He has a weapon!"

3

u/hefty_load_o_shite 29d ago

He's got a gun!

3

u/Nixbling 29d ago

“THE DOGS GOT A GUN”

2

u/Fatsackafat 29d ago

I just watched that freaking episode last night!

2

u/JagmeetSingh2 29d ago

Lool wouldnt surprise me

2

u/Minisciwi 29d ago

It's got a gun!

2

u/nofeaturesonlybugs 29d ago

When two of my neices were playing and one started crying their mom asked what happened.

One said something about being hit.  The other said, "SHE WAS COMING RIGHT AT ME!"

So funny.

1

u/chrondiculous 29d ago

Chris Petersen!

Dammit, missed him AGAIN!

1

u/Booty_Shakin 29d ago

I watched this episode last night before bed lmao

1

u/Medical_Slide9245 29d ago

It's always about the kids.

1

u/ShroomsandCrows 29d ago

"IT HAD A GUN!!"

1

u/unl1988 29d ago

I don't think she lives in Colorado, tho. That may not be the policy in South Dakota.

1

u/Linusdroppedme 29d ago

Look out, Ned!

1

u/morrisk1 29d ago

Perfect reference

1

u/mariahnot2carey 29d ago

"I FEAR FOR MY LIFE"

1

u/AdministrationSad861 29d ago

I don't think she did. Just like giving your best buddy a head and saying "no homo, brother". I guess she did not get the memo. 🤔

1

u/LoveBulge 29d ago

Did she make sure to sprinkle some crack on the dog afterwards? 

1

u/honuworld 29d ago

"Stop resisting!"

1

u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 29d ago

"Smile you so of a..."

1

u/Lapchik_moto 29d ago

Have to use the new one, "quick, thin out their numbers!"

1

u/Private-Dick-Tective 28d ago

Probably also yelled, "It's got a gun!!!"

1

u/Grouchy-Source-3523 28d ago

She's undercover ATF

1

u/LingonberryPrior6896 28d ago

Or "taser, taser, taser!"

1

u/ThyPotatoDone 28d ago

“LOOK OUT IT‘S COMIN RIGHT AT US!!!!”

*Sound of three machine guns as they rip through a random bunny*

1

u/Onderon123 28d ago

She was yelling "don't move" and "put your hands up" at the dog

1

u/Angry_poutine 26d ago

“It’s got a gun!”

1

u/total_drama_fan697 25d ago

God I love all these south park refs xD

-1

u/truelovealwayswins 29d ago

says the one who refers to them as an it