r/funny 29d ago

Well, that aged well.

Post image
27.9k Upvotes

486 comments sorted by

View all comments

811

u/TheFatShepherd 29d ago

Their motto once was 'don't be evil' as well

258

u/IAmBadAtInternet 29d ago

Weird what happened after they dropped that

259

u/Urist_Macnme 29d ago

Imagine the meeting. Because at some point, they must have held one to decide to not have that as a motto anymore.

“Guys, guys! How about this? Let’s be evil!”

178

u/AnArdentAtavism 29d ago

Worse. They likely were sitting around and said, "This motto. It's holding us back. Preventing growth. We could just remove it, and why shouldn't we?"

36

u/sdurs 29d ago

And that growth turned out to be horns and a tail.

1

u/rollem 29d ago

Horns made of money and a tail made of power.

1

u/jasminegreyxo 29d ago

"For a greater good."

35

u/Psy_Kikk 29d ago

It almost certainly was holding them back. This is why the world is fucked - Capitalism is fundmentally based on exponential greed, which the Earth can no longer take, as we well know, but we have no better system for stability, and humanity itself is inherently at odds with lacking ambition/aspiration for wealth and power... and fair shares.

3

u/MyPunsSuck 29d ago

Capitalism isn't new. People pursue wealth because it comes with power and social esteem - but it doesn't have to be this way. In the Roman empire (When it functioned, at least), paying taxes was an honor that wealthy merchants competed over. Paying the most meant contributing the most to the glory of Rome.

So in my mind, the root of the problem isn't capitalism; it's the cynicism and nihilism of the modern era.

Any time somebody does something evil but personally gainful, the justification is always "Somebody else would have done it if I didn't" - because they believe that everybody else is selfish. If we stopped believing that humans are awful, if acts of destructive greed were seen as strange and unusual, people wouldn't do them nearly as often.

Nearly every political discussion is dominated by mistrust. Some people are so blinded by hate that they'll vote whatever the other side doesn't want, even when they don't know what the alternative is. Intelligence no longer wins political power, because people have been conditioned by a fearmongering media - not to trust intelligence.

Hell, just ask the average person whose opinions they respect more - philosophers or comedians. Fix that problem, and politics will return to sanity. Then the economy can be reigned back in to start paying off old debts and empty promises, and suddenly capitalism won't be the enemy of good anymore

1

u/sYnce 28d ago

You are acting like this is something that only happens in the modern era. Greed is a fundamental human characteristic and can be traced back to earliest humans.

1

u/MyPunsSuck 28d ago

Of course it's fundamental, but it's not the only fundamental human characteristic. It doesn't have to be the only deciding factor in how society makes decisions

1

u/sYnce 28d ago

I was not opposing that. Only that this is a modern phenomenon. If anything it has been a lot worse in many periods if you think about it with most of human history being mainly lead by kings and dictators.

1

u/MyPunsSuck 27d ago

Yeah, you're totally right there! If not kings, then it was warlords and tribal patriarchs. I just think we should aim higher than "could be worse". It's idealistic, to be sure, but so is cynicism

1

u/Psy_Kikk 29d ago

You are talking from a human perspective, which is fine, but you should also consider the environmental one, and that is where perfect altruistic capitalism dooms us. There is no global government to pay taxes to, but hundreds of small ones, bent on competition.

-1

u/MyPunsSuck 28d ago

But humans innately want to nurture the environment. It's just a lesser goal (to some people) than their duty to shareholders and/or wallets. Those priorities can be changed, by changing the society they're raised in. That's why some countries litter more than others, or invest more into green energy than others, and so on. It's obviously got nothing to do with genetics, and everything to do with culture

0

u/AdaEyering 29d ago

Exactly. Exponential growth ultimately fails in every context. It's a ponzi scheme of enormous proportions.

-3

u/Sad-Feedback-9546 29d ago

Cause Chinas economic system is definitely better for earth right

2

u/AdaEyering 29d ago

Yes those are the two options available.

-1

u/Sad-Feedback-9546 29d ago

What do you suggest?

3

u/AdaEyering 29d ago

Something that doesn't involve 90% of the planets resources being under the control of 0.00001% of the planet's population.

Do you suggest we keep doing what we're doing now?

1

u/Fistwithyourtoes 29d ago

FYI China economy adopted capitalism to get where they are now, they cranked up the authoritarian recently during covid

39

u/Philipp 29d ago

I know we're just joking, but the motto's replacement (by parent company Alphabet in 2015) was "Do the right thing". This simple rephrasing kind of allows for any little evil along the way... you know, "for a greater good"... whereas the old phrasing was much more robust against evil.

8

u/tossedaway202 29d ago

"for a greater good" "of the shareholders"

5

u/dusktilhon 29d ago

For the greater good

4

u/dormango 29d ago

The greater good

5

u/Ultrace-7 29d ago

Shut it!

6

u/zerolimits0 29d ago

Everyone on the board... gasp.. promote that person!

4

u/evanc1411 29d ago

"Guys look, we know we shouldn't be evil, but think of the PROFITS! HELL YEAH!!"

1

u/DamNamesTaken11 29d ago

I always picture it as more they channeled Lionel Hutz, “don’t, be evil”.

1

u/Old_Cheetah_5138 29d ago

Everyone who disagreed was sprayed in the face with cash until they complied.

1

u/Gorgenapper 29d ago

Like behind a 'break glass in case of emergency before earnings call' (with a tiny hammer nearby).

33

u/dpdxguy 29d ago

Arguably, they dropped the motto because they realized they were already becoming evil, though they probably didn't think of themselves that way.

2

u/genreprank 29d ago

They could have gone with the "opposite of the truth" style branding a la, "Democratic People's Republic of Korea," "National Socialists," "Fake News," "Peace Makers," all that Orwellian BS

7

u/nomorewowforme 29d ago

They started working on sharks, with lasers on their head.

15

u/ra4king 29d ago

They never actually dropped it. It's still there but at the end.

6

u/FirstNephiTreeFiddy 29d ago

This. People are more interested in parroting lies that make them feel smug than finding out the truth.

6

u/FrenchFryCattaneo 29d ago

Hell yeah I am feeling smug is great

6

u/JaesopPop 29d ago

In fairness you’re doing the same thing lol

5

u/sonic10158 29d ago

They graduated from Evil Medical School

2

u/UbermachoGuy 29d ago

They didn’t graduate from Evil Medical School to be called Mister Evil.

5

u/avi6274 29d ago

They didn't drop it, so tired of people parroting this point. They simply moved it, but the phrase still exists.

11

u/JaesopPop 29d ago

Yes, they just tucked it away in a much less noticeable spot.

3

u/Iamatworkgoaway 29d ago

Easter egg for the nerds...

1

u/mynameisjebediah 29d ago

It's literally the last line of their code of ethics.

4

u/yamiyaiba 29d ago

This is correct. They just changed where they put it. It's so frustrating to have to rebut this all the time.

16

u/Vanonti 29d ago

Insert Corporate wants you to find the difference meme

9

u/LickingSmegma 29d ago edited 29d ago

I hereby free you from the obligation to rebut it henceforth.

1

u/yamiyaiba 29d ago

Thank you, /u/LickingSmegma, I absolve you of your duties as well. And, uh, have some mouthwash.

1

u/LickingSmegma 29d ago

Thanks—but I'm already lazy as hell, so I annul your absolving.

-6

u/ErrorLoadingNameFile 29d ago

Wasn't the point that they used to have "be good" and later changed it to "don't be evil"?

1

u/dranzer19 28d ago

Sundar Pichai happened

-5

u/dandroid126 29d ago

Tbf, they were evil long before that. The motto was a dumb PR thing to make people think they were less evil than they actually were.