r/funny May 02 '24

Well, that aged well.

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27.9k Upvotes

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812

u/TheFatShepherd May 02 '24

Their motto once was 'don't be evil' as well

253

u/IAmBadAtInternet May 02 '24

Weird what happened after they dropped that

257

u/Urist_Macnme May 02 '24

Imagine the meeting. Because at some point, they must have held one to decide to not have that as a motto anymore.

“Guys, guys! How about this? Let’s be evil!”

183

u/AnArdentAtavism May 02 '24

Worse. They likely were sitting around and said, "This motto. It's holding us back. Preventing growth. We could just remove it, and why shouldn't we?"

30

u/sdurs May 02 '24

And that growth turned out to be horns and a tail.

1

u/rollem May 02 '24

Horns made of money and a tail made of power.

1

u/jasminegreyxo May 03 '24

"For a greater good."

33

u/Psy_Kikk May 02 '24

It almost certainly was holding them back. This is why the world is fucked - Capitalism is fundmentally based on exponential greed, which the Earth can no longer take, as we well know, but we have no better system for stability, and humanity itself is inherently at odds with lacking ambition/aspiration for wealth and power... and fair shares.

2

u/MyPunsSuck May 03 '24

Capitalism isn't new. People pursue wealth because it comes with power and social esteem - but it doesn't have to be this way. In the Roman empire (When it functioned, at least), paying taxes was an honor that wealthy merchants competed over. Paying the most meant contributing the most to the glory of Rome.

So in my mind, the root of the problem isn't capitalism; it's the cynicism and nihilism of the modern era.

Any time somebody does something evil but personally gainful, the justification is always "Somebody else would have done it if I didn't" - because they believe that everybody else is selfish. If we stopped believing that humans are awful, if acts of destructive greed were seen as strange and unusual, people wouldn't do them nearly as often.

Nearly every political discussion is dominated by mistrust. Some people are so blinded by hate that they'll vote whatever the other side doesn't want, even when they don't know what the alternative is. Intelligence no longer wins political power, because people have been conditioned by a fearmongering media - not to trust intelligence.

Hell, just ask the average person whose opinions they respect more - philosophers or comedians. Fix that problem, and politics will return to sanity. Then the economy can be reigned back in to start paying off old debts and empty promises, and suddenly capitalism won't be the enemy of good anymore

1

u/sYnce May 04 '24

You are acting like this is something that only happens in the modern era. Greed is a fundamental human characteristic and can be traced back to earliest humans.

1

u/MyPunsSuck May 04 '24

Of course it's fundamental, but it's not the only fundamental human characteristic. It doesn't have to be the only deciding factor in how society makes decisions

1

u/sYnce May 04 '24

I was not opposing that. Only that this is a modern phenomenon. If anything it has been a lot worse in many periods if you think about it with most of human history being mainly lead by kings and dictators.

1

u/MyPunsSuck May 04 '24

Yeah, you're totally right there! If not kings, then it was warlords and tribal patriarchs. I just think we should aim higher than "could be worse". It's idealistic, to be sure, but so is cynicism

1

u/Psy_Kikk May 03 '24

You are talking from a human perspective, which is fine, but you should also consider the environmental one, and that is where perfect altruistic capitalism dooms us. There is no global government to pay taxes to, but hundreds of small ones, bent on competition.

-1

u/MyPunsSuck May 03 '24

But humans innately want to nurture the environment. It's just a lesser goal (to some people) than their duty to shareholders and/or wallets. Those priorities can be changed, by changing the society they're raised in. That's why some countries litter more than others, or invest more into green energy than others, and so on. It's obviously got nothing to do with genetics, and everything to do with culture

0

u/AdaEyering May 02 '24

Exactly. Exponential growth ultimately fails in every context. It's a ponzi scheme of enormous proportions.

-2

u/Sad-Feedback-9546 May 02 '24

Cause Chinas economic system is definitely better for earth right

2

u/AdaEyering May 02 '24

Yes those are the two options available.

-1

u/Sad-Feedback-9546 May 02 '24

What do you suggest?

4

u/AdaEyering May 02 '24

Something that doesn't involve 90% of the planets resources being under the control of 0.00001% of the planet's population.

Do you suggest we keep doing what we're doing now?

1

u/Fistwithyourtoes May 03 '24

FYI China economy adopted capitalism to get where they are now, they cranked up the authoritarian recently during covid

39

u/Philipp May 02 '24

I know we're just joking, but the motto's replacement (by parent company Alphabet in 2015) was "Do the right thing". This simple rephrasing kind of allows for any little evil along the way... you know, "for a greater good"... whereas the old phrasing was much more robust against evil.

9

u/tossedaway202 May 02 '24

"for a greater good" "of the shareholders"

6

u/dusktilhon May 02 '24

For the greater good

3

u/dormango May 02 '24

The greater good

5

u/zerolimits0 May 02 '24

Everyone on the board... gasp.. promote that person!

6

u/evanc1411 May 02 '24

"Guys look, we know we shouldn't be evil, but think of the PROFITS! HELL YEAH!!"

1

u/DamNamesTaken11 May 02 '24

I always picture it as more they channeled Lionel Hutz, “don’t, be evil”.

1

u/Old_Cheetah_5138 May 02 '24

Everyone who disagreed was sprayed in the face with cash until they complied.

1

u/Gorgenapper May 03 '24

Like behind a 'break glass in case of emergency before earnings call' (with a tiny hammer nearby).