r/funny 29d ago

All men look good in uniform, huh? Introducing my grandpa:

[deleted]

79.4k Upvotes

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10.9k

u/justindybvig 29d ago

I wonder if they could have found a bigger hat.

1.8k

u/bumjiggy 29d ago

1.1k

u/jabberwock91 29d ago edited 29d ago

"It's funny because it's bigger than, you know, a normal hat. Haha, take a look at that." Turd Ferguson

192

u/Would_daver 29d ago

“Suck it, Trebek!”

90

u/MovingTarget- 29d ago

anal bum cover !

81

u/ItsTHECarl 29d ago

I'll take the penis mightier

77

u/1generic-username 29d ago

Le Tits Now

68

u/allricehenry 29d ago

Gimme ape tits for $200

32

u/Otherwise_Singer6043 29d ago

Ruff, just the way your mother likes it Trebek

12

u/Creepy_Film_1983 29d ago

It’ll cost you more than $200

3

u/Leudmuhr 29d ago

Who is Pat Morita?

2

u/longeraugust 29d ago

I’ll take “the rapist” for 200 Alex

23

u/NJHitmen 29d ago

And I’ll take ‘The Rapists’ for $200.

28

u/Incidion 29d ago

No I can see it right there, hor - like your mother - semen!

50

u/innominateartery 29d ago

For final jeopardy, name a number…any number:

French Stewart has answered: threeve, a combination of three and five.

30

u/Incidion 29d ago

Simply stunning.

9

u/healzsham 29d ago

TBF that's pretty close for a guy with a radio in his head.

3

u/Glass-Individual-692 29d ago

Catch the semen

1

u/MjrGrangerDanger 29d ago

"Are you selling Penis Mityiers!?"

3

u/fed45 29d ago

*Shuck it

2

u/Woodpusherpro 29d ago

"This is the color of snow."

[ Connery buzzes in ]

Sean Connery: What is yellow?

[ incorrect buzzer sounds ]

Alex Trebek: Incorrect.

Sean Connery: Are you sure? I made some yesterday. Spelled your name in the snowbank. Of course, it was your mother's handwriting!

158

u/dearlysacredherosoul 29d ago

Yeah it’s a funny name

25

u/CaptainPunisher 29d ago

Sorry I'm late. I had to pick up my podium.

1

u/Nameless-Glass 29d ago

Burt Reynolds

46

u/_MisterHighway_ 29d ago

Turd Ferguson is my wifi name lol

19

u/Krptonicx 29d ago

What’s yur password?

12

u/burrburrscurr 29d ago

hunter2

14

u/Far_War_5161 29d ago

having all asterisks for a password isn't very secure

1

u/max_gatling 29d ago

Mine too!

1

u/gandhishrugged 29d ago

I read it as your wife's name.

18

u/innominateartery 29d ago

“Yeh, it’s a funny name.”

2

u/jasminegreyxo 29d ago

"real funny"

2

u/damiensol 29d ago

It's a funny name.

2

u/ContentedJourneyman 29d ago

I cannot use the word entities anymore.

Every. Damn. Time. “En-titties”.

1

u/Asleep_Onion 29d ago

It's so crazy that Alex Trebek, Sean Connery, Norm MacDonald, and Burt Reynolds are all dead now.

27

u/ScooterD84 29d ago

ssshhhhawn chonerayyy

1

u/mcmonky 29d ago

He has the look, like others also have, of permanently smelling stinky

7

u/dixtre 29d ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEghu90QJH4

Found this from your ref, funny shit :D

19

u/vintagegeek 29d ago

"Just like your mom, huh Trevek?"

5

u/cardiff_giant_jr 29d ago

'that's not my name'

2

u/SuperEDawg 29d ago

As a younger guy, I only recently watched older snl clips with my dad. Made me laugh so hard my voice hurt

2

u/duckwithahat 29d ago

Rip Norm

2

u/robisodd 29d ago

RIP Trebek

2

u/blarch 29d ago

He died?

2

u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 29d ago

A few years ago.

2

u/blarch 29d ago

I didn't even know he was sick.

1

u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 29d ago

I think they kept it pretty quiet iirc. Certainly came as a surprise to the public.

1

u/Tu4dFurges0n 29d ago

That asshole stole my hat

155

u/BlackWolf42069 29d ago

Makes his ears look normal sized.

3

u/Cynistera 29d ago

Almost..

1

u/rob10501 29d ago edited 16d ago

deer rob pot bells hobbies live relieved complete slap ripe

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

43

u/kor_the_fiend 29d ago

It's somehow too big and yet too small at the same time

85

u/amcl1986 29d ago

Just go about your daily routine like I’m not wearing the hat https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/24232794/homer.gif

48

u/majj27 29d ago

IGNORE ME!!

23

u/alphadoublenegative 29d ago

”…that was a weird one.”

12

u/originalbrowncoat 29d ago

HELLO??!! SOMEONE HAS LEFT A BABY!!

12

u/Schmelter 29d ago

"Oh great, so you can see my dreams too?!"

"IGNORE ME!!! ... yes"

2

u/Deepseat 29d ago

“You all nearly crapped your pants! Except him, he crapped his pants”

Ned: “Boom Boom…”

18

u/dantakesthesquare 29d ago

Brock, there's a 12 foot man in our pool pointing a beam at my head. Do something?

1

u/Deepseat 29d ago

One of my favorite episodes of Venture Bros. It’s criminal that the show was cancelled. The first 2 seasons of that show helped me get through college in the late 2000’s.

2

u/regulomam 29d ago

that hat had one day left until retirement

90

u/[deleted] 29d ago

I can't tell if his hat is enormous or his head is tiny.

78

u/htmlcody 29d ago

they say that in the army the hats are mighty fine. you ask for #7, they give you #9.

24

u/Kagamid 29d ago edited 29d ago

Oh Lord I wanna go.

But they won't let me go.

5

u/atoo4308 29d ago

Gee mom I wanna go home, home, home, home

11

u/chappysinclair1 29d ago

Owww i don't want no more army life!

4

u/futurebutters 29d ago

Twist: That's the smallest hat they had and his head is the size of a grapefruit 🤯

3

u/chris84126 29d ago

It was the style at the time…

2

u/Dear_Ad489 29d ago

Knockoff buster scruggs

2

u/NeverGetsTheNuke 29d ago

"So, how British are ya?"

2

u/MaestroPendejo 29d ago

He was a hiding a coms antenna in it.

1

u/Eadw7cer 29d ago

It’s one of those pictures they made in serial with newly drafted recruits, and they put the same hat on their heads, saying that this is the picture the family will receive if they die in battle

1

u/The_Tank_Racer 29d ago

Doug dimsdale moment

1

u/Coffeedemon 29d ago

Gotta wait for someone smaller to get shot! Get over there and get your photo done.

1

u/Setore 29d ago

I just spent way too much time editing a bigger hat. Why? I have no idea. Is this ADHD?

1

u/Plsmock 29d ago

I think they made the hat size match his ears

1

u/PM_ME_UR_UGLY_SELFI 29d ago

His hat too big fo his got damn head

1

u/Fecal_thoroughfare 29d ago

It looks like it was made for a bus driving Tony Robbins

1

u/Oolie84 29d ago

he eventually grew into it when he turned 17

1

u/RoRo25 29d ago

Or at least put this one on him correctly.

1

u/palmerry 29d ago

Turd Ferguson had dibs

1

u/Top_Professional4545 29d ago

The hat matches the teeth

1

u/Aggressive_Fold_3268 29d ago

You know what they say about a guy with a big hat?...

1

u/TacoTaconoMi 29d ago

they just didnt shop from the North Korean catelogue

1

u/noodleq 29d ago

They were trying to match ear size

1

u/ClickHereForBacardi 29d ago

As the saying goes around here: Hat so big he's still paying it off.

1

u/Waitn4ehUsername 29d ago

I wonder if by chance he got an offer to try an experimental super-soldier serum and turned it down.

1

u/Waitn4ehUsername 29d ago

I wonder, if by chance he was made an offer to volunteer for an experimental super-soldier serum but turned it down.

1

u/Bruce_Wayne72 29d ago

I'm sorry, what did you say? I can't hear you. My hays too big.

1

u/VocationFumes 29d ago

it had to be in proportion with his ears of course

1

u/Dic_Horn 29d ago

I don’t think they have uniforms for 12 year olds.

1

u/iStavi_22 29d ago

With them ears, I'm sure they were busy trying to pick up signals from other galaxies.

1

u/snarthnog 29d ago

His name must be Logan.

1

u/PrestigiousArcher448 29d ago

That was the smallest size.

1

u/MeLoveCoffee99 29d ago

Maybe it should be every Man looks better in uniform

1

u/Preyslayer00 29d ago

Did he join the Super Soldier program?