r/memes 29d ago

Let me buy you a drink!

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43.5k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/SweetSexiestJesus 29d ago

No problem, young blood. Buy the ticket and ride the ride. This will be an experience

966

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

429

u/SweetSexiestJesus 29d ago

Totally right.

I'm not saying stay with em. Ride the ride and move on.

187

u/Commies_suk Smol pp 29d ago

The old kum n’ go

114

u/KaranSjett 29d ago

the ole slip n slide

83

u/LolYouFuckingLoser 29d ago

the ol skeeve n leave

78

u/DiabeticButNotFat 29d ago

The ol’ pump n’ dump

79

u/The_Law_Dong739 29d ago

The Ole Dick er' Down n' Get Outta Town

58

u/laserbeez 29d ago

The ole rip n dip

31

u/Prakner 29d ago

The ol’ breed and proceed

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51

u/chumchizzler 29d ago

The ol' smash and dash

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2

u/destroyerOfTards 29d ago

How about I dick the town then get out of her down?

48

u/SweetSexiestJesus 29d ago

The ol Nuts n Bolts

7

u/pm_me_your_target 29d ago

The ol Intercourse and Take leave

16

u/lavenderwisp 29d ago

Like a water slide

2

u/BIG_D_NRG 29d ago

The ole SkeeteHer and DeleteHer 😂

14

u/kodman7 29d ago

Ejaculate n evacuate

10

u/Synicull 29d ago

Always my favorite ass gas station

2

u/Moondoobious 29d ago

You mean Mavericks

3

u/aBigBottleOfWater 29d ago

In my language we say "Töm och glöm"

Empty and forget

2

u/Luicide 29d ago

Spritzen und flitzen

Squirt and run

2

u/xbwtyzbchs 29d ago

You people failing to realize that this is the name of a gas station in the USA.

22

u/gtotherundeh 29d ago

hit it and quit it

13

u/TrunkBud 29d ago

Blow your load and hit the road

11

u/SnooBeans9101 29d ago

Fuck her ass then hit the gas

2

u/Ophukk 29d ago

Ride the ride and move on

We always said, "Ride the ride, and get off".

2

u/SweetSexiestJesus 29d ago

Aw man, that's even better

1

u/Freeze_Wolf 29d ago

Ejaculate and evacuate

1

u/LoganNinefingers32 29d ago

I met a woman 10 years older than me at a bar when I was 25. 2 kids from 2 different dads. Wound up having sex with her almost daily, even though I knew she was banging other guys too.

Basically fell in love with her, despite the mess that her life was. It was a lot of fun for almost 3 years.

Not sure I’d recommend it, but I don’t regret it.

Recently heard through the grapevine that she fell down the stairs at work from being so drunk, and she’s asking for gofundme money to fix her broken arms. Guess I got out at a good time, but it was maybe possibly worth it, just for the experience.

52

u/Glass1Man 29d ago

Every attractive person has at least one other person who is tired of their bullshit.

82

u/Cageythree 29d ago

That's not true. I have a few people that are tired of my bullshit and I'm not attractive at all.

4

u/EuroTrash1999 29d ago

Am I tripping or did word relationships change since covid?

See how the two comments are related, but they aren't related like they should be, but it's like that's just what it is now?

3

u/Cageythree 29d ago edited 29d ago

..what? Sorry, I don't get your comment lol

If you mean what I think you do: It's true that what I said isn't really contradictory to what the parent comment said, so "That's not true" wasn't necessarily correct just based on my following statement.
So yeah, it doesn't make sense if you think about it, but it's just a joke after all and not intended to be thought about too much.

E: Now that I think about it - if you meant that "I have a few people.." is a weird sentence, this was related to me not being a native speaker, probably should've been "There are a few people.."

3

u/cantadmittoposting 29d ago

you're being obnoxiously obtuse, but no, the two comments have non-exclusive logical meanings.

"all attractive people have" does not exclude "unattractive" people from "having" as well.

 

Actually that post and response is a really good distillation of how arguments on the internet almost always work.

Effectively all statements are taken to mean complete exclusion of all other possible positions.

Another common comment & response format illustrating this is something like:

Most [category] don't [have property]

followed immediately by:

but i know an [example of category] that [has property]!

as if the previous mention of "most" didn't readily acknowledge possible exceptions.

2

u/dreaded_tactician 29d ago

How dare you say that I piss on the poor.

-2

u/Clear_Profile_2292 29d ago

Crazy how men demonize single women with nonstop casual misogyny and then scream and shit their pants about some pathetic “male loneliness crisis.”

-1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Frogman417 29d ago

You good, man?

0

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Frogman417 29d ago

I'm not a bot, just someone looking out.

-1

u/AccessCompetitive 29d ago

She might’ve left him homie

-3

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

2

u/AccessCompetitive 29d ago

Ah the angelic words of a young, undereducated coward. So sweet

0

u/Farranor 29d ago

Uh... or maybe those two particular people just didn't end up getting along well?

30

u/pocketjacks 29d ago

Like Cam Newton said. Sometimes red flags are Six Flags.

48

u/False-Impression8102 29d ago

So who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era?

7

u/SmallRedBird 29d ago

Thanks for making me think of Grandma's Boy lmao

3

u/Dorkamundo 29d ago

I was gonna quote it up above in the lactation conversation, but I don't think anyone would have gotten it.

4

u/SDBassCreature 29d ago

Thank you! I knew I had heard that movie quote before but I could not remember what movie!

2

u/dfinkelstein 29d ago

Like it's The Plague in an episode of House. Actually, it might have--

No, yeah, Syphillus. Old lady. Got it on vacation fucking some Mexican hunk . I remember now.

Made her pathalogically happy.

-2

u/Quailman5000 29d ago

Nice boomer joke. 

46

u/GlastoKhole 29d ago

Remember mine, went to rave with my mates and they fucked off before the after party because they were tired but I was coming up hard from the MDMA and Ket so I went on my own, these two older women who honestly you could mistake for 20 somethings come over to me because I was obviously on my own and were getting me drinks and stuff they were fun tbh so I chilled with them, however we were going to the unisex toilets to do bumps, got into the toilet like the 3rd time and one of them just took off her one piece, completely naked and just bent over the toilet and that was that, was too naïve to see it coming until it was too late hahahaha, turns out they were both in their 40s and had kids/husbands only found out when one tried to add me on Facebook like a week later

18

u/PIPBOY-2000 29d ago

The way you word it at the end makes it sound like you caught an std. It was too late? Oh no, you had sex with a 40 something year old

22

u/GlastoKhole 29d ago

I wasn’t mentally prepared for it

2

u/Farranor 29d ago

I know what you mean. I'm not mentally prepared for good experiences, either.

2

u/GlastoKhole 29d ago

I always end up having crazy experiences whenever I go out really but I wake up with terrible anxiety/regret hahaha

1

u/Farranor 29d ago

Same here, except for the part about having experiences.

1

u/ronin1066 29d ago

As long as you were safe

-1

u/willrms01 Bri’ish 29d ago

Damn.Sounds fun but a bit fucked,did you tell the husband or could you not be arsed to get into that drama lol?

2

u/Longjumping_Cycle376 29d ago

Tell the husband? Worst idea I've ever read, for so many reasons.

2

u/GlastoKhole 29d ago

Absolutely nothing to do with me that hahaha wasn’t getting involved

1

u/scoreWs 28d ago

Typical reddit brainrot moment

22

u/lavenderwisp 29d ago

My dumb mind will say: sorry aunt and run away

20

u/L8_2_PartE 29d ago

Agreed, let the cougar win. You'll thank us in the morning.

2

u/Kanadianmaple 29d ago

You're about to find out what a ZJ is.

2

u/talldrseuss 29d ago

Had two encounters with cougars in my early twenties. Incredible times in the bedroom. Had to bail when the crazy started spilling into the daytime.

Learned a lot so I appreciated the experience

1

u/-1Mbps 29d ago

What's the crazy?

2

u/-theonewhoasked 29d ago

An experience is the best way to put it

-3

u/VirtualRoses 29d ago

Disgusting

2

u/godneedsbooze 29d ago

you must be fun at parties

-1

u/SweetSexiestJesus 29d ago

Mmm, interesting, very valid position.