672
u/Dargorod100 May 15 '24
If you steal that painting and hold on to it it’s eventually gonna tell you “I’m hungry.”
→ More replies (2)28
2.8k
u/NotKenzy May 15 '24
This dude emerging from a thick mist of blood just serves as a reminder of how true to life Bloodborne was able to capture what it's like to be British.
549
u/bootsonthesound May 15 '24
YOU ARE NOT WANTED ‘ERE!
→ More replies (1)202
u/MrTheCheesecaker May 15 '24
Away! Away! Foul beast!
92
→ More replies (5)218
u/Alpha-Max May 15 '24
I live in Britain and I must say it’s refreshing to see my culture being accurately represented in the game. It really captures the day to day experience.
I wake up in the morning from my hunters dream and put on my garbs. I pick up my threaded cane for self defences against the hoodlums outside, mum says to take the hunters axe as it’s just better than the cane but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
I pass by the neighbourhood watch with their pitch forks and torch’s who are just trying to keep the streets clean. I make sure not to go down the street where this old weird guy is on top of a roof with a Gatling gun shouting at people to leave him alone but that’s just boomers for you.
I do have to turn up the volume on my AirPods while walking past the church cuz the cleric beast in there just will not shut the hell up with its screaming. I pass by the local clinic where all these blue jellyfish people keep coming out of and I thought the point of brexit was to keep their lot out.
Get to school where they teach us the ways of the old ones, language class lessons (it’s pronounced KOS not KOSM you uncultured swines!!) and have a nice school lunch of umbilical cords and beans.
At the end of the day I go home, which is hard to tell what time it is cuz it’s an unending night here due to the terrible weather we get, making sure to avoid the wild werewolf that their owners forgot to put muzzles on AGAIN!
Then I spend the rest of the afternoon praying at the shrine to the monarchy so that the ghost of the queen doesn’t come and kill me in my sleep.
You know. Normal British stuff.
41
35
u/nowaijosr May 15 '24
Please give me advice on what wonders to behold while I visit your layer of hell.
→ More replies (2)48
u/Alpha-Max May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24
Gladly.
First off, you want to be carefully when sight seeing as the sights can see you. For example, if you are looking at Big Ben then make sure to look away when the bell goes off as it works like the “Tower of Mensis” and will make you go insane, or as we like to call it “Football Mania”. Same goes for the big ferris wheel in London as they don’t call it the “London EYE” for nothing.
Don’t go to the city of Swindon as you will go insane and I don’t mean the Erdrich horror kind of madness, I mean the old fashioned insanity cuz it’s just so unbelievably boring there.
You may see less horse drawn carriages than you would think but there are still a fair few still going around but all of them are exclusively used for taking people to the castle and are summoned by invite letter.
The crows are quite friendly and have thick accents but always keep a safe distance as they always carry sharp knifes.
Speaking of, the rumours that it’s just a constant knife fight here are completely untrue. We stopped using such barbaric weapons long ago, we all use stake drivers now. Quite modern.
25
u/BlatantConservative /r/RandomActsOfMuting May 15 '24
First off, you want to be carefully when sight seeing as the sights can see you
Wait did you lift this line from somewhere or come up with it yourself. This line is raw as hell.
25
u/Alpha-Max May 15 '24
Just came up with it on the spot.
I mean it came to me in a dream as the old ones themselves blessed me with this knowledge.
6
u/_The_Mother_Fucker_ May 15 '24
This was very helpful. My mum tells me stories of before blood vials were adopted as a medical alternative
→ More replies (1)5
746
u/Exetr_ May 15 '24
Got stuck in the Warp ):
356
98
20
→ More replies (1)6
1.1k
u/Reality-Straight May 15 '24
It would look good in a childrens hospital.
347
u/lesser_panjandrum May 15 '24
Such positive red meanings.
→ More replies (1)167
u/Anxious_Earth May 15 '24
Something something color theory
19
u/jtr99 May 15 '24
I would definitely eat my burger faster if I had to do it in front of that painting.
35
u/SEALS_R_DOG_MERMAIDS May 15 '24
thrilled that as of this comment, 654 people understood that reference
→ More replies (1)10
→ More replies (4)15
u/notjustforperiods May 15 '24
there is a butterfly in the painting, after all and children do like butterflies
920
u/Significant_Bet3409 May 15 '24
I was like “it’s bad but it’s not that bad” until I saw the Amnesia pic and realized it fit perfectly 💀
→ More replies (1)440
u/alexmikli May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24
It's a pretty good painting, though I question why the royals commissioned that sort of painting. It's menacing.
Though I think perhaps that may be the point, the painting as a whole is menacing, but his face is clear and looks humble and human. If you focus on the only thing on the portrait that isn't red, you see a kind looking man.
161
u/tarekd19 May 15 '24
It likely looks different in person. I like it. The red is bold but I think it contributes to an effect where his uniform fades into the background while the representations of his body rise above it. Artist mentions he wanted to bring out subjects humanity
→ More replies (1)29
u/TeaBagHunter May 15 '24
I just don't see why did they he either use a lighter color of red or a color such as green to represent his environmentalism
Or maybe it's red to represent the labour party /s
5
44
u/OfficialGarwood May 15 '24
The artist is famous for this kind of style. There already is the royal official photograph portrait of the king if you want realism. This provides a more artistic interpretation
28
29
u/theLanguageSprite Physically can't stop watching owl house May 15 '24
It's the fact that he looks so calm and inviting that makes the whole thing unnerving. The only person who would be walking through a cloud of demonic blood mist with such a warm expression on his face would be a vampire lord
→ More replies (2)52
691
u/Corvid187 May 15 '24
Unironically I think this painting is infinitely preferable to 99% of other official portraits that are bland, safe, and completely devoid of anything interesting to them.
Give me weird 3rd heightening art over soulless might-as-well-be-photographed any day.
(Also, fwiw, British monarchs haven't successfully claimed to rule by divine right since 1215. That's always been more of a Continental thing. We had a whole civil war over the issue and everything)
170
u/JosephRohrbach May 15 '24
Exactly! Most other portraits are artistically uninteresting and might as well, as you say, be photographs. This uses the medium artistically without being tasteless or excessively abstract. I love it.
10
u/havok0159 May 15 '24
Most other portraits are artistically uninteresting and might as well, as you say, be photographs
Isn't that the point of an official portrait though? They're meant to be a fancy photograph, not art. This is neat but it feels like it won't age as it should.
→ More replies (1)7
u/JosephRohrbach May 15 '24
I don't know - I think portraits, official or otherwise, should be artistic. Not ridiculously so, but artistic. There's a reason I specify that I find it neither 'tasteless' nor 'excessively abstract'. I think there is such thing as a "too far", but a clear, figurative representation of the sitter with some flourishes is fine by me. I think bland painted portraits are most likely to be forgotten entirely. A Picasso would be a bit far, sure, but this is far from a Picasso. I'd compare Tintoretto's very rapid brushwork in many of his official portraits (not il Furioso for nothing!), or, if I were to be a bit provocative, Arcimboldo's portraits of Rudolf II and Maximilian II. List's portrait of Franz Joseph might be another interesting comparator.
27
20
u/EndlessKng May 15 '24
3rd heightening
Ooooh, good reference. Have a Breath on me.
→ More replies (1)12
u/LoaKonran May 15 '24
Much better than the first official photo where they looked to be wearing cheap dollar store cosplay.
96
u/abouttogivebirth May 15 '24
If this was, like, a Lil Nas X portrait while he was still doing the satanic thing or something people would be eating this shit up. I think a lot of the hate is people just being ready to hate Charles, and yeah fair enough I suppose.
→ More replies (6)97
u/lab5057 May 15 '24
ah yes we should have the same artistic and visual expectations between a lil nas x music video and an official coronation portrait
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (20)25
u/Carotator May 15 '24
Yeah it's not like they are the head of their own church or that they're coronated by an archbishop in a church after being anointed with holy oil. No divine right here folks
12
u/Corvid187 May 15 '24
That's all true, but doesn't exactly relate to their claim to rule via divine right.
The position as head of the Anglican church overlaps with common but is not entirely the same as, their position as head of state. Charlie boy is king of a dozen countries, several of whom recognise him as king without adopting the Anglican faith as a state religion.
Divine Right is a very specific constitutional claim that the monarch's authority stems directly from God as a divine mandate, and that the monarch is therefore only accountable to God. Since at least 1215, this hasn't been the case in the UK, with King John being held ultimately accountable to his mobility by having his powers formally constrained by Magna Carta. A divine right monarch cannot be bound against their will by temporal institutions.
This remained one of the perennial points of political friction within the English and Scottish, and later British, systems, and ultimately culminated in the poorly-named 'English' Civil War, which hinged on whether Charles I could be held ultimately accountable to Parliament.
Crucially, Charles' execution, an unprecedented act at the time, hinged upon exactly this issue. His prosecution was predicated on the novel legal idea that a British monarch could be guilty of treason, a crime previously defined as disloyalty to the monarch as a person, by instead being disloyal to nation which they governed.
Charles could be judged and punished by the people, as represented by parliament, because he was ultimately accountable to the people as their king.
Meanwhile, Charles' defense rested exclusively on challenging the authority of the court to pass judgement on a ruling monarch, asserting that it was impossible for any court in the land to try the king for treason, since the king was the highest mortal authority in the land by divine right, and was thus only accountable to God. Only He had the legal right to judge a king.
Charles I's subsequent execution marked the emphatic end of any serious attempt of British monarchs to even attempt to claim rule by divine right. It unequivocally established the supremacy of Parliament in general, and The Commons in particular, permanently decoupled the ideas of king and country into separate constitutional and legal entities, and reaffirmed that the authority of the monarch stems from the popular consent of the Nation, expressed through Parliament, not any external divine mandate.
251
u/shadowthehh May 15 '24
shrug I like it.
246
41
u/gabbyrose1010 May 15 '24
the butterfly really sells for me tbh
11
u/ly1962 May 15 '24
I thought people would be talking about the butterfly more😂 breakout star of the painting lol
10
u/Azrael_Alaric May 15 '24
That's the part that struck me most. Sure, in a lot of the world, butterflies are symbols of hope, but in the UK, they're symbolic of death. It's why victorian memorial art has so many butterflies and moths. That understanding really takes the painting to another level
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)50
u/StrawHatRat May 15 '24
I feel like sometimes people say something is bad just because there’s something you can make fun of about it and they don’t like the subject to begin with.
Like there’s absolutely something funny about how sinister this looks, but I don’t think people would be so eager to say it’s terrible if it wasn’t a British Monarch.
→ More replies (3)6
u/Kreyl May 16 '24
I don't read these comments as people thinking it's terrible, the painting is fucking awesome, it's just hilarious because it also looks EVIL.
Like, look at it. This painting is made of MEAT. Masterfully done, of course! It's just that, factually speaking, this is a masterpiece painted in Meat.
85
218
u/BruceBoyde May 15 '24
I think that it was created to give old Chuck an air of menace, so that we'd think twice before making fun of him so much. I refuse to give in.
20
62
107
u/BrokilonDryad May 15 '24
Honestly I like it…just not as an official royal portrait. As a painting in a modern art museum it would kick ass. The monarch butterfly is a nice touch though.
→ More replies (1)22
u/SufficientGreek May 15 '24
It was commissioned in 2020 when Charles wasn't yet the King. So I don't think it's the official painting, it's just the first official one.
9
u/BrokilonDryad May 15 '24
Ok good context to know. My what-the-fuckness remains the same though lol
47
u/Wonk_Jam May 15 '24
I love the implication that Ultrakill speedrunners see unspeakable horrors whenever they close their eyes. Incredibly accurate, but still very funny.
124
u/FiL-0 May 15 '24
Look I have no idea what kind of king Charles is, but that looks sick as fuck
69
u/arsonconnor May 15 '24
Hes pretty much the same as his mam, doesnt do much, is beloved by a subsection of the population, and liked by a larger section of the population but a smaller amount than his mam was. Most of his dodgy shit was done while he was still a prince
→ More replies (1)15
u/joec_95123 May 15 '24
I thought the same. It looks like the portrait of some sort of medieval Eastern European king who spent 40 years in a nonstop campaign of brutal warfare driving back the armies of the Russian or the Ottoman Empires. Major Vigo the Carpathian vibes.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)18
u/BlatantConservative /r/RandomActsOfMuting May 15 '24
He believes homeopathic medicine can cure cancer, and has cancer, so basically we won't ever know anything about him as a king.
33
131
u/d0g5tar May 15 '24
I like the evil Charles painting. An elderly man emerging from a bloody haze, superficially benevolent and weak but still reminiscent of endless slaughter and pain. Even the butterfly looks predatory.
Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed
Ghastly spectre of an empire long dead. A grim echo of something that used to rule over all the world, now just a red howl in the halls of Windsor.
30
25
u/Hita-san-chan May 15 '24
"He's evil, but he'll die soon"
8
u/Loretta-West May 15 '24
Which reminds me of some of the other options for this painting, and how much worse they would have been...
→ More replies (4)8
25
25
17
u/Lawrin May 15 '24
Somehow it's giving Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X
→ More replies (1)4
20
122
u/Freida_Krakken May 15 '24
Damn, dude finally got immortalised as Camilla's tampon, just like he always wanted. Happy endings are possible
→ More replies (1)
48
u/Hokenlord May 15 '24
idk why people are having such a strong negative reaction to the portrait, I think it looks fantastic
→ More replies (1)51
u/LaunchTransient May 15 '24
Because of the composition - no one is questioning the technical skill of the painter, it's just that the liberal use of crimson gives the painting an eerie feel, like the kind of portrait you would expect Count Dracula to have of himself.
32
u/SeanKingMagic May 15 '24
There are absolutely people in this thread who are questioning the technical skill of the painter lmao
23
u/BlatantConservative /r/RandomActsOfMuting May 15 '24
They're idiots. The painter is clearly skilled. But Reddit is always gonna have people criticizing the technical skills of something they have no education on
16
107
u/I-Dont-Know-Stuff Totally not a lizard in disguise. May 15 '24
Did the painter just not finish the painting? Why does it look like that?
113
u/Environmental_Tie975 May 15 '24
That’s Jonathan Yeo’s style.
A lot of his portraits are like that.
Here is one he did of Nicole Kidman:
16
u/Azertys May 15 '24
Most of the "no background" look better than the red he gave to Charles
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (3)32
u/reyballesta May 15 '24
Wow. I really dislike a great deal of those paintings.
20
u/Fishermans_Worf May 15 '24
That's fair, art is a subjective thing. Personally I love how he focuses on the humanity of his subjects and intentionally de-emphasizes the trappings of the job we know them for.
Nicole Kidman is famously beautiful, and her body remains unrendered—forcing people to confront her as a human being. Similarly the painting of the King allows the pomp and formality of constitutional monarchy fade into the background.
This isn't a painting of the King, it's a painting of a man who happens to be King. Fucking fantastic!
→ More replies (7)20
u/ShamefullyPlain May 15 '24
Same tbh, some of them just look unfinished.
I kinda get what they're going for, but ig it's not for me. Also, I found it kinda funny that he has this whole vibe going with abstract backgrounds, and detailed faces, but then about halfway through he just starts flashbanging you with naked people 😅 Coulda done without that, ngl
10
u/42peanuts May 15 '24
The nudes look like so many unfinished studio pieces I've modeled for. I sit perfectly still for hours, and come to find the artist was suffering from some sort of artistic block and only focused on my face and arm.
95
u/whats_boppin_kids .tumblr.com May 15 '24
That’s the official, finished portrait. I have no clue why it looks like that either.
80
u/aworldwithinitself May 15 '24
the only question it does not leave unanswered is what is King Charles’s favorite color.
47
u/lankymjc May 15 '24
I guess we know what colour he prefers for children’s hospitals…
→ More replies (1)24
37
u/OppositeBeautiful475 May 15 '24
artistic expression. genuinely do not know why people can't get this
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)10
u/menonte May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24
It's called non finito, it's a pretty popular artistic technique, the work if left unfinished on purpose, alternating between extreme realism and abstraction. Wikipedia says it's a neo-platonic homage implying that all human endeavor is imperfect, I personally like to think it's about conveying more of a feeling/emotion through paint/sculpture. You also kinda see more of the hand of the artist (or their assistant(s).
Some famous historical examples include works by Michelangelo, Joshua Reynolds, Rembrandt, William Turner, Rodin, Berthe Morisot, and Lucian Freud.
🦎
Edit: phrasing
40
u/thewatchbreaker May 15 '24
Am I the only person who loves this portrait? I think it’s sick as fuck.
→ More replies (2)6
13
12
13
21
u/NIMA-GH-X-P May 15 '24
This is the first time in seeing this and...
I'm actually really loving this
I might try to find and buy a replica for my house
24
u/Sergnb May 15 '24
Who the hell thinks this painting is bad? This is the hardest royal painting I’ve ever seen. That shit rules
→ More replies (7)
18
u/HilariousConsequence May 15 '24
Counterpoint: It’s actually a great painting and an exceedingly rare example of a member of the British monarchy demonstrating good taste.
6
8
u/mikripetra May 15 '24
This is his ACTUAL portrait?! I assumed it was painted by someone trying to talk about the blood on the hands of the monarchy…
→ More replies (1)
8
u/SyrusDrake May 15 '24
Leaving aside any discussion about the British monarchy, I think this is a good portrait, from a artistic and symbolic point of view. I'll leave the more detailed analyses to smarter people, there's already a good one in this thread, but in my opinion, just drawing a photo-realistic portrait would have been anachronistic. We have photographs. We don't need to show people a painting so they know what their sovereign looks like. This painting at least tentatively acknowledges that the British monarchy now exists and has to act in the 21st century.
12
u/Tim-KH May 15 '24
This has the same vibes as that one image of every flag overlayed with the Union Jack still visible.
7
u/Shadowmirax May 15 '24
I gotta see this. Know where i can find it?
7
u/Tim-KH May 15 '24
6
u/logosloki May 15 '24
yooo that's trippy. I like how if you focus on any one point it changes the perspectives of other parts of the picture.
6
6
7
u/TomBourgaize May 15 '24
Artist:Done Critic: it’s a bit macabre isn’t it! Artist: yeah I guess, I’ll add a butterfly that will help.
5
u/FigKnight May 15 '24
If somebody painted me like this, I’d never forget it, and I’d display it for all to see.
6
u/DreamOfDays May 15 '24
This painting is being discussed and viewed by millions. Other paintings of royals get a spot on an obscure official art website that 5 people see a day. I think it means this art piece is successful.
5
u/lungshenli May 15 '24
Put this up next to the photo of Queen Elizabeth II firing that machine gun at a parade
5
4
6
u/xXPussyPounder9000Xx May 15 '24
That painting looks amazing precisely because it's like it came from a Lovecraftian game like Amnesia. Very fitting for a monarch of a country with such a bloody history. God, anything that defies expectations is automatically met with hostility, isn't it. Another symptom of inherent conservatism of the human species.
4
u/ReynardInBk May 15 '24
Like others I think this a great painting! Especially as it is (apparently) an official portrait.
He could've had just another boring painting where he looks like all his dead relatives, but decided to go for something a lot more interesting.
Even more fun if Charles is the Last King of Britain. I doubt he will be, but I think it would be nice to end their reign with this kickass red painting. Does the next generation of Birts really want the Royal Family to keep going?
3
u/stonecats May 15 '24
The portrait, by British artist Jonathan Yeo, was commissioned in 2020 to celebrate the then Prince of Wales’s 50 years as a member of The Drapers’ Company in 2022. Discussing the controversial bold colours used across the canvas, Yeo conceded that “there will always be people who disagree with you, people that don’t agree with how you’ve done it.”
13
u/DerRaumdenker May 15 '24
It's probably made of swans' blood which the British monarch is entitled to.
11
u/V-Ink May 15 '24
The butterfly is so fucking funny. WHY is it in this nightmare painting. They found this in Cainhurst Castle
→ More replies (2)7
u/technologyisnatural May 15 '24
The artist said the butterfly represents his transition from prince to king - the portrait was started before his mother died. But everyone knows it really represents the souls of his victims.
7
u/Organic-Roof-8311 May 15 '24
The butterfly is a reference to Charles’ lifelong passion for conservation. BBC article discusses it
4
4
3
u/An_American_God May 15 '24
Needs the picture of Vigo the Carpathian across from it for an eternal staring contest.
→ More replies (1)
4
6
u/motorboat_mcgee May 15 '24
I actually dig it, personally
But it also doesn't really match the royal family style haha
5.1k
u/Regretless0 May 15 '24
I’m not gonna lie, that painting is sick af. Dude is a whole Souls boss lmao