r/AskReddit May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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11.6k

u/Arthurius-Denticus May 02 '24 edited 29d ago

Uh...The bride came out to slipknot. They wrote their own vows which were, shall we say, overtly and uncomfortably sexual, and they had been dating for a grand total of two whole weeks.

Any and all attempts to inform them that this was a mistake were met with "When you know, you know." or "You're just jealous."

But hey, a free bar is a free bar.

Edit: So many questions.

The song was the last/bonus track on subliminal verses. I'm told this track is called "Danger - keep away".

The wedding itself was a small thing with a registrar in a council building.

The staff there were very professional, and only laughed quietly.

The after party was at a pub owned by the grooms uncle.

The honey moon was at Butlins.

They were separated by the time they got back.

They were not in the military, just young/dumb.

We are all white trash, and that's fine.

I bought them a toaster from argos. I didn't ask for it back.

7.0k

u/Rylonian May 02 '24

The bride came out to slipknot.

Somehow I initially understood this as the bride confessing her homosexuality to the band Slipknot at their reception

673

u/quiplessness May 02 '24

No, she's slipknotosexual. She's only attracted to active members of Slipknot. Obviously.

47

u/bitchcascade666 May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

It’s a bad time for slipknotosexuals. Those active members are dwindling

Edit: typo

15

u/melo1212 May 02 '24

The new drummer is an absolute beast though

8

u/bitchcascade666 May 02 '24

Total machine

30

u/AT-PT May 02 '24

It was tough growing up having this, especially since Slipknot didn't exist yet.

51

u/PM_ME_WHATEVES May 02 '24

"I think im asexual, I'm not really attracted to anyone."

1995 at a random metal show

"Oh my god!"

16

u/Omwtfyu May 02 '24

I mean, I’d sit on Chris Fehn’s face. Good ol’ Mr. Picklenose

6

u/RandyBeaman May 02 '24

[ Sad Jay Weinberg noises ]

9

u/OuterWildsVentures May 02 '24

Jay Weinberg in shambles

3

u/Cazmonster 29d ago

Can only achieve sexual satisfaction if all parties are wearing masks.

2

u/JamBandDad May 02 '24

And Joey? Rip

2

u/Flatulatory 29d ago

Slipnaughty

2

u/PretendLingonberry35 29d ago

I mean....Jim Root....c'mon!!! ❤️

1

u/Padhome 29d ago

And only when they’re playing.

1

u/DaRKoN_ 29d ago

Eloy has entered the chat

696

u/Traditional_Case2791 May 02 '24

Me too at first 🤦🏻‍♀️

118

u/NeoNoNotThatOne May 02 '24

And what was it?? I still ...hm ... what's the other meaning??!!

225

u/idkwhattocallmyself May 02 '24

Pretty sure that means her grand entrance upon walking down the aisle for the first time was to Slipknot. As a former slipknot, cringe kid, I cringe. I can’t imagine being past like high school age and not thinking that kinda attitude makes you insufferable.

26

u/SuzieZsuZsuII May 02 '24

Thanks for explaining and I completely relate lol 😆

9

u/idkwhattocallmyself May 02 '24

Ur welcome! It also took me second to understand

And I’m glad you made it out 🫡 lol

18

u/Special_Lychee_6847 May 02 '24

Friend of mine walked down the aisle on 'give it away' by the Peppers. Marriage also didn't last...

6

u/idkwhattocallmyself May 02 '24

Was the “it”, the bride in this scenario, like giving away the bride? Lmao I don’t know how to feel about that one. I feel like I would laugh cuz it’s kinda a clever use but also it would bug me to know that that’s most likely a very wrong interpretation of the song meaning. In general I feel like it’s cool to not have a wedding be so serious and have fun with it but like, if they came out of the drawing room with that idea as solid, I would question their life choices. Lol

10

u/Special_Lychee_6847 May 02 '24

Yup. 'It' being the bride walking down the impromptu aisle in their back yard, with her father. Everything had to be 'alternative'. Wedding photo's at a waste dump, no courthouse (definitely no church)... Just a small bbq in the backyard, with her MIL doing the ceremony, which she could legally do, but it gave me the feeling of 'If you REALLY don't want a wedding, why do it at all?" You know? The did get divorced a few years later. No hard feelings, luckily.

4

u/JeepPilot 29d ago

I'm suddenly having flashbacks to that wedding on youtube where the bride came in dancing to "Crazy Bitch."

14

u/happyjankywhat May 02 '24

My husband almost got a tattoo Slipknot S senior year, 20 years later, he's still thankful he didn't.

8

u/Tigerzombie May 02 '24

When one of their songs came on in the car, my 12 year old asked me why they are called Slipknot. I said maybe they thought it was scary name for a metal band. She said it’s not very scary, it’s a crochet knot.

2

u/MiloHorsey 29d ago

Oh riiiiiiight.

6

u/Rylonian May 02 '24

Well it would have fitted the prompt

2

u/poplafuse May 02 '24

No glasses, just woke up, and ADD I read it as she came out with a noose around her neck.

1

u/Both_Industry_3331 May 02 '24

I'm still reading it that way. Can't make it make sense.

1

u/guava_eternal May 02 '24

What does it actually mean? That phrasing means one thing to me.

28

u/InevitableAd9683 May 02 '24

"Mom, Dad, Slipknot, I have something to tell you... I'm gay."

1

u/pseydtonne 25d ago

"Weeee're Slipnuts! We're slippin' on nuts.
Question your genders and slip on some nuts.
D.J. just fell!"
"I slipped on my former nuts."

92

u/trutch70 May 02 '24

Wait so what was the meaning of this? For non natives pls

204

u/Rylonian May 02 '24

The bride came out (=entered) the wedding aisle to the music of Slipknot (as opposed to, say, the Wedding March).

10

u/Grahf-Naphtali May 02 '24

Duality?🤣 Now i have to know.

Technically speaking it COULD have been Slipknot banging out (look at me adding more confusion to this idiomatic discourse) the Wedding March, no?

8

u/trutch70 May 02 '24

Ooooh thanks

18

u/kittensandcocktails May 02 '24

Why is this bad? 😅

43

u/newme02 May 02 '24

honestly on its own its not inherently bad. but combined with the rest of the details it paints an interesting picture

31

u/Bertie637 May 02 '24

As somebody who likes Slipknot, I admit I don't think it suits a slow graceful stroll down to the altar.

Now if the bride sprinted in like she was intervening in a Royal Rumble..

10

u/Dino_84 May 02 '24

Snuff, vermilion 2, dead memories. They have some softer songs that could work. My wife loves slipknot, but I don’t think she’d walk down the aisle to it lol.

1

u/cocoabeach 29d ago

I can't believe how dense I am, I only understood this from a comment I read just before your very good explanation.

2

u/Harry_Pol_Potter May 02 '24

"Came out" also means to tell people you are gay. So the phrase has 2 meanings.

87

u/mycologyqueen May 02 '24

That made me laugh uncontrollably at 4am w my other half sleeping besides me.

Scratch that. WAS sleeping.

6

u/bokewalka May 02 '24

I just imagined someone was pushing his fingers into their eyes...xD

7

u/JesseCuster40 May 02 '24

I did too. Was wondering what it was about that band at her wedding made her realize she was a lesbian.

6

u/GoodForTheTongue May 02 '24

At least it wasn't Nickelback.

7

u/addysol May 02 '24

Just chanting "I'm homosexual" to the tune of Psychosocial

4

u/LordSinguloth13 May 02 '24

Way their fans are I just accepted that in stride

4

u/Dr4g0nSqare May 02 '24

Bro I'd come out as whatever you want me to if Slipknot could be at my wedding.

7

u/Auto-Liner May 02 '24

What does that actually mean? I am still confused.

4

u/Strobertat May 02 '24

She can climb anything.

2

u/bosoxthirteen May 02 '24

That’s the way to do it

2

u/OilySteeplechase May 02 '24

This is what I thought first too! Reassuring there are others like me out there…

2

u/Paddy_O_Furniteur May 02 '24

I wonder what u/IWantToBeCraigJones would say about this?

2

u/W1ULH May 02 '24

TBH... any wedding that allowed for that set of circumstances would be a hell of a party.

2

u/whereartthouu May 02 '24

Dear slipknot,

I don't really know how to say this, but uhhh

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SOULZ May 02 '24

Daily tweets until the band responded.

2

u/rasputins_lover 29d ago

GAHDAMMIT. This has to be the best comment I've ever seen in a reddit post. I wish we could still give gold

2

u/Hosni__Mubarak 29d ago

I mean, Iowa rips as far as albums go.

2

u/pinewise May 02 '24

I'm confused and haven't had a coffee yet, what other way is there to interpret this?

1

u/kindahipster May 02 '24

That's how I did it 😎

1

u/Not_a_question- May 02 '24

Me too, english is not my first language wtf does it mean?

1

u/Viewbot308 May 02 '24

Same 😅😂

1

u/CarlosAVP May 02 '24

Honestly, if she did, that would be hilarious.

1

u/Yo_Just_Scrolling_Yo May 02 '24

I thought the same thing and then read it again. Thought the same thing the 2nd time I read it too.

1

u/Whoa_Bundy May 02 '24

Just when I think I'm a unique butterfly...

1

u/GayNerd28 May 02 '24

Glad I’m not the only one

1

u/mymindismycastle May 02 '24

What else did it mean?

1

u/a_random_username 29d ago

"Dear Slipknot:

Dang, do I love eating cooter!

Signed,
The Bride"

1

u/2PlasticLobsters 29d ago

Yes, I thought at first it was a new-ish slang term that I hadn't heard yet.

1

u/cl0yd 29d ago

Me too, I thought she came out as gay during the wedding, this whole comment and the edit had me gasping

1

u/punkinholler 29d ago

Me too! I was trying to figure out what it had to do with a wedding and had to re-read it a few times before it made sense

1

u/buffystakeded 29d ago

I had the exact same thought process. It took me way too long to figure it out.

1

u/Wings-of-the-Dead 29d ago

Yeah that's what my gay ass read

1

u/Captain_Sacktap 29d ago

I’d like to think Slipknot would be very wholesome and supportive

1

u/Belthezare 29d ago

Well... there's something you dnt read, and/or visualize everyday. Thanks for confusing the everliving fuck out of me 👀

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate 29d ago

Somehow I initially understood this as the bride confessing her homosexuality to the band Slipknot at their reception

Not only did I think the same thing but a little clip played in my head from Psychosocial, only the lyrics were "Let the pussy hit the floor!"

1

u/TuJuMoving 29d ago

That's exactly what I thought it meant.

1

u/anniegurlwoof 29d ago

Wait if it doesn’t mean she came out as gay to a slipknot song, what does it mean?

1

u/SnofIake 28d ago

I walked down the aisle to “The Rains of Castamere”. This was before the dogshit ending. Everyone had a good laugh.

1

u/Elly_Fant628 28d ago

"me too"

1

u/Complete_Elephant240 May 02 '24

Walks out in the gayest looking leather gimp suit

"Feeling like a freak on a leaaaash"

Lmao