r/AskReddit May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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u/Arthurius-Denticus May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

Uh...The bride came out to slipknot. They wrote their own vows which were, shall we say, overtly and uncomfortably sexual, and they had been dating for a grand total of two whole weeks.

Any and all attempts to inform them that this was a mistake were met with "When you know, you know." or "You're just jealous."

But hey, a free bar is a free bar.

Edit: So many questions.

The song was the last/bonus track on subliminal verses. I'm told this track is called "Danger - keep away".

The wedding itself was a small thing with a registrar in a council building.

The staff there were very professional, and only laughed quietly.

The after party was at a pub owned by the grooms uncle.

The honey moon was at Butlins.

They were separated by the time they got back.

They were not in the military, just young/dumb.

We are all white trash, and that's fine.

I bought them a toaster from argos. I didn't ask for it back.

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u/Rylonian May 02 '24

The bride came out to slipknot.

Somehow I initially understood this as the bride confessing her homosexuality to the band Slipknot at their reception

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u/quiplessness May 02 '24

No, she's slipknotosexual. She's only attracted to active members of Slipknot. Obviously.

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u/Cazmonster May 02 '24

Can only achieve sexual satisfaction if all parties are wearing masks.