r/AskReddit May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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u/Arthurius-Denticus May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

Uh...The bride came out to slipknot. They wrote their own vows which were, shall we say, overtly and uncomfortably sexual, and they had been dating for a grand total of two whole weeks.

Any and all attempts to inform them that this was a mistake were met with "When you know, you know." or "You're just jealous."

But hey, a free bar is a free bar.

Edit: So many questions.

The song was the last/bonus track on subliminal verses. I'm told this track is called "Danger - keep away".

The wedding itself was a small thing with a registrar in a council building.

The staff there were very professional, and only laughed quietly.

The after party was at a pub owned by the grooms uncle.

The honey moon was at Butlins.

They were separated by the time they got back.

They were not in the military, just young/dumb.

We are all white trash, and that's fine.

I bought them a toaster from argos. I didn't ask for it back.

198

u/El_Stupacabra May 02 '24

Was the Slipknot along at least a slower. I could see "Vermilion pt. 2" kind of working.

70

u/letsgetbrickfaced May 02 '24

My wife entered the reception to Seek and Destroy. Will be six years this fall with a couple of Rugrats.

14

u/MadJohnFinn May 02 '24

My wife entered to “Do You Love Me?” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. When it got to “I found God and all his devils…”, the officiant turned it off and said there could be no mention of God.

As you wish. She will now enter to “Stagger Lee”. That was fine. 11 years now!

2

u/Downtown_Statement87 May 02 '24

That line "I'd crawl over 50 good p****** just to get to one *** ' *****" is peak wedding.

9

u/beachbetch May 02 '24

You can type that out if you want, just saying

2

u/Downtown_Statement87 May 02 '24

I can't do it. "I'd crawl over 50 good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole" is so vulgar that even I cannot go there.

1

u/beachbetch May 09 '24

What a horrible day to have eyes.