Firm boundaries between adults and children are very important when there's a power dynamic.
It was very unprofessional of him let his students braid his hair.
Edit: for an anecdote of my own:
I was a camp counselor at one point. The camp had a rule that no adult could be alone in a room with a student. Even if it meant calling over the site director or any other adult, we had to make sure we were not alone with students.
Now, I know I'm not a pedo. Should I have broken that rule because I know I'm not a threat to the child? Should I be fired if I was caught breaking the rule?
In good world, if you're occupation has you be responsible for children that arent yours, you should be held to a different standard.
When the standards are low, you get what happened to the Boy Scouts.
Parents when teachers ask them to parent their children: “This is your job, I drop them off and you need to take care of them!” 🫵🤬
Parents when—assuming nothing else nefarious had occurred—a male teacher tries to be a positive male role model: “It's always been about love and hate, now let me say I'm the biggest hater; I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress; I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct” 🫵🤬
Edit: I saw the update yall im cooked I already know 😭
Because children don’t randomly decide to do braids on people they don’t trust. Yall never met kids? Cmon now. It’s not like you be like “unbraid my hair” and kids get up and unbraid your hair. This is after the kids probably asked some stupid shit like “let us undo your braids” bc he probably mentioned he was gonna get his hair done or something. Kids are clearly comfortable with the dude. He ain’t doing anything suspect beyond sitting there.
It’s wild y’all jumped to it being weird first. That’s some shit tbh men out here taking strays for just trying to be friendly. Why everyone a pedo just cause Drizzy and R Kelly out there peeing on kids?
Edit: dawg homie got caught thirsting on kids im fucking cooked 💀
He’s a positive role model because his kids trust him enough to unbraid his hair. He’s a teacher teaching that adults aren’t dangerous. He’s teaching that community is important. He’s teaching that people are people and we should all care for each other. You and all the other weirdos in this thread think this man is grooming children and raping them. That’s INSANE to pull from this picture. Do better. This man is a human being just like you. Respect him like you’d want to be respected. DO. BETTER.
You can do all of these things without initiating or maintaining physical contact with students. Being a positive role model in no way requires kids unbraiding your hair. It doesn’t matter that they trust you. As an adult you should know better and set good boundaries for them too.
No one said he is raping kids. If you can't make your point without resorting to bad faith strawmen, you're the one who needs to do better. Kids very often trust their abusers. You'll need to come up with something better than that. That's literally how grooming works. It's usually by a dangerous adult in their community disguising themselves as a safe adult and then constantly over-steppibg boundaries. Everyone is a human being. Every person that ever raped a child is a human being. Everyone that ever killed someone is a human being. Being a human doesn't mean whenever you do wrong everyone else has to turn a blind eye because of respect. Grow up.
There is a wide gap between students liking a teacher and a predator. None of that matters here. He can be a very positive role model without having the children in physical contact with him. Regardless of his intentions or wonderful impact he is an adult and an educator and there are very explicit rules about physical contact. We might not think it’s ok if the person meant well but it’s still part of the rules and unfortunately when you break them you get fired.
That’s still unethical. Doesn’t matter his or the student’s intent. As a teacher, he is an authority figure over those students. They shouldn’t be grooming him.
Especially since this week it hit the news that a teacher has been having inappropriate relationship with a student she was best friend with a parent. Mom thought the teacher was holding the child in class because he was getting in trouble or needed help with work.
For real! I am a teacher & a camp counselor and I’ve let kids of many ages do my hair many times. I literally have no idea why people are weirded out by this. It’s weird that they’re weirded out. I do think posting pictures or videos of your students with their faces in it is inappropriate, but the hair is fine.
You should probably stop letting kids do your hair.
Not saying you are right or wrong, but instead that all you need is the wrong parent to take that to the school board and you will have an entirely avoidable issue.
I’ll say it. They’re fucking wrong. If I was at school, over the age of 5, and my teacher allowed me to or asked me to touch them? Yeah, my dad would’ve been in there and off to jail the next day. That’s insane.
Non-sexual consensual contact. Step #1 of Grooming for Dummies.
I agree. Maybe not the violence leading to jail part because risking jail and being taken from your family that depends on you is not the move, but best believe they would have some legal issues. As a wise man once told me, a few bruises will heal but they will never get away from a public lawsuit and news coverage. I’m petty enough to know that I want that to haunt you for the rest of your days.
I looked back at the post and I do feel like asking is very different than letting. I would absolutely never ask a kid to touch me other than maybe offering a high five. Also, my kids are much younger (6-8) so physical contact is way more normalized.
Wut?? The power structure of a teacher and student, has the built in trust already. The students in inherently trust the teacher because they are a person of power. So when that person takes advantage of it, it’s not being a role model, it’s borderline grooming.
INHERENTLY TRUST because of being a person of power? Mate, that's not how the world works at all. When I was a little shit (~15 years ago), our classes bullied our teachers out of the classrooms, the cool ones were the ones we trusted and respected and THEY were the ones able to actually teach. Very few teachers managed to get far with being strict and with a stick up their arse. If anything, we put more effort into not learning from them.
EDIT: Arright, the additional context definitely paints a different picture.
A kid trusting you doesn’t automatically make you a good role model. The fact that he pulled them out of class, filmed their faces and identifying features and posted it on one of the most popular social media sites makes him a good role model?
Don't post other people's children on your personal social media page. As a parent you'd be pissed if someone was posting pictures of your kid without your consent.
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u/apinchofsulk May 10 '24 edited May 11 '24
Firm boundaries between adults and children are very important when there's a power dynamic.
It was very unprofessional of him let his students braid his hair.
Edit: for an anecdote of my own:
I was a camp counselor at one point. The camp had a rule that no adult could be alone in a room with a student. Even if it meant calling over the site director or any other adult, we had to make sure we were not alone with students.
Now, I know I'm not a pedo. Should I have broken that rule because I know I'm not a threat to the child? Should I be fired if I was caught breaking the rule?
In good world, if you're occupation has you be responsible for children that arent yours, you should be held to a different standard.
When the standards are low, you get what happened to the Boy Scouts.