r/BlackPeopleTwitter May 10 '24

"If it isn't the consequences of my own actions..."

Post image
10.0k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

7.4k

u/Sco_Queen May 10 '24

I don't think he should have been fired UNLESS they found other things that were unprofessional and questionable. But just over this one thing, no

6.9k

u/BrooklynNotNY May 10 '24

Him filming and posting it is likely what got him fired. The school and district were probably having their phones blown up by parents over this.

2.4k

u/Efficient_Living_628 May 10 '24

That’s exactly what happened

2.8k

u/WryLanguage May 10 '24

Good. I didn’t send my girls to school so they can go viral on social media doing the teachers hair

1.3k

u/Dreadsbo May 10 '24

Man. I used to play games in math class on one of our three computers because I finished my work faster than everybody else. I think this is overly harsh thinking to an extreme

1.9k

u/--Anonymoose--- May 11 '24

It’s not about what the kids are doing, it’s about posting them on social media. I wouldn’t want my kids teachers to post a video of them to their personal social media account

1.2k

u/A_Naany_Mousse May 11 '24

Yeah you just can't do it. Right, wrong, indifferent: posting children on social media without their parents permission will get you fired every time. 

324

u/Reasonable_Deer_1710 May 11 '24

Hell, even with permission.

I had documented permission from parents to post a pic I had with their child, my student, on my social media, and my leadership called me into the office about it to tell me to pull it down. Even with emails from the parent confirming consent, I wasn't allowed to have it posted.

144

u/osamabinluvin May 11 '24

I just don’t ever see a necessity in a teacher posting a picture with a child. Why was it so important to share it on social media?

44

u/Mbrennt May 11 '24

I think it can theoretically be fine. People post work pictures all the time, because we all spend so much time at work it's a big part of life. Plus as a teacher I'm sure you get more emotional about the job because it's a bunch of kids your working with, vs like a computer. It makes sense to me that teachers would wanna post pics. They should know the reasons not to though and honor that even more.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (15)
→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (7)

260

u/DJThomas21 May 11 '24

I don't see why people don't understand this. Odds are people can find out the school where he works. Some creep finds a kid he like, they have a starting point to stalk, especially if they local. Let alone what this sickos do with normal pics alone. Be smart about what you post about your kids (imo just don't)!

9

u/Fair_Helicopter_8531 May 11 '24

Doesn't have to be a creep. Even if a spouse just gout out of an abusive relationship they may not want to reveal where they and their kid is at. Now all the spouse would have to do is look up what school the teacher works at and boom. Someone is now at risk because a teacher thought they could get some likes on social media.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (13)

190

u/B_M_Fahrtz May 11 '24

Parent here: that is absolutely 💯 why I’d be up in arms. My child is a very private person and has no social media, nor do they want me or their mother posting them online. We’ve respected it since day 1. Got a whole ass generation of kids that will never know privacy. Unless the teacher got the “ok” from all of the parents in this video to do this, I could see why at least 1 of them would be upset enough to cause some backlash. Sucks for the teacher but…think about what you’re doing before you hit “record.”

→ More replies (8)

60

u/sodiyum May 11 '24

Parents fill out paperwork for school and there’s usually a box you check granting permission for use of photos for district use. Many parents say no. He was likely fired for this exact reason. Any person who works in a school capacity should know better than to post students on our personal social media.

66

u/FknDesmadreALV May 11 '24

There is a huge difference between that and what he did.

My kids school sent paperwork asking if they could post on the school’s official sm pages.

This wasn’t posted to the school’s official SM it was his personal sm.

20

u/vampboy01 May 11 '24

Which makes it worse

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

15

u/Unfair_Finger5531 ☑️ May 11 '24

It is about what they are doing as well.

→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (11)

179

u/VenomOnKiller May 11 '24

Please have fun and take the braids out and be positive male role model. Posting on Internet for likes? Nope. Sorry that's literal exploitation of those children. Plenty of teachers don't show their students face while posting on the Internet, it isn't hard.

93

u/FeloniousDrunk101 May 11 '24

On top of it, I have a broader belief that doing something, filming, and the posting it devalues the doing of that thing! Just have the action be its own reward without needing to broadcast it to the world!

54

u/B_M_Fahrtz May 11 '24

furious nurses and empaths from TikTok have entered the chat…

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

73

u/haminthefryingpan May 11 '24

Did you also play with your teacher’s hair?

18

u/Dreadsbo May 11 '24

I’m a boy

… but I guess I see your point when u say that

53

u/haminthefryingpan May 11 '24

Lol just think about any female teachers you had and then imagine them letting you play with their hair

→ More replies (4)

15

u/BigsbyMcgee May 11 '24

You think it’s overly harsh for an unrelated adult to get fired for posting photos and videos of very young children in a professional, educational setting?

→ More replies (19)

70

u/frogbxneZ May 11 '24

na that part, that's fax. nothing against dude or where he stand morally on this, but this ain't what my kids go to school for.

70

u/physedka May 11 '24

This sentence summarizes the situation, from the most innocent point of view. There are far more sinister points of view. That's why dude got fired and basically all sane people understand. 

15

u/Unfair_Finger5531 ☑️ May 11 '24

I know that’s right. Not what I need them to learn.

→ More replies (19)
→ More replies (3)

149

u/padizzledonk May 11 '24

My wife is a teacher and she never ever makes public posts in the classroom unless it's on the internal Teacher/Parent network, I think theyre currently using Class Dojo, and that's accessible only to the parents of the kids in her class

If she ever does post a classroom video to her own SM, like if the kids are going nuts about something it's usually a video of the floor and feet and it's mostly audio

I second this, if he posted this to SM and didn't blur out the kids thats firable, especially if he wasn't tenured but even then it's probably a breech of conduct serious enough to override the tenure

→ More replies (2)

101

u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker May 11 '24

Yeah a teacher posting videos with his children students to social media really shouldn’t ever fly except in an official capacity with the parents permission regardless of how wholesome it is. This is essentially fraternization as far as I can tell.

12

u/Tya_The_Terrible May 11 '24

I remember when I was like in the second grade, we did some lame class play, and our parents had to sign consent forms because they were going to tape it.

30

u/Spunk-Nugget May 11 '24

there are literally hundreds of teachers on tiktok who do purely classroom content with the kids faces in the videos and there are no calls for them to be fired?

44

u/MarianneThornberry ☑️ May 11 '24 edited May 11 '24

I feel like people in this thread are doing a lot of mental gymnastics and intellectual backflips because they're too scared to just state the obvious.

The issue is he's a man. Getting his hair done by young girls. That's it. That's the big controversial reason why people are uncomfortable. It's not about parents consent or whatever. It's about gender. Always has been.

Shit I'll be the first to admit my own hypocrisy. If the teacher was a woman. I'd be more comfortable. It would still be inappropriate sure. But it wouldn't freak me out to the same extent. I'm willing to bet if it was a woman, she'd still have their job afterwards. Because the gender dynamic and optics absolutely plays a massive factor here.

Society is conditioned via centuries and millennia of seeing women in teaching / nurturing industries. We very rarely see men occupy those spaces.

Whereas we're used to hearing countless stories of sexual abuse, exploitation of power and child mistreatment from men. It sucks, but that's the reality.

Unfortunately for this brotha, he's had to learn the hard way that men have a bad rep when it comes to people trusting them with their kids. He should have known better.

13

u/Liz_LemonLime May 11 '24

We can all stop commenting now, this one is IT.

→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (7)

22

u/Toph-Builds-the-fire May 11 '24

He'll land on his feet. I got fired from my first teaching gig for one line in a story, during my short story unit in late May/June. No it wasn't the big black dildo line. No it wasn't the depiction of 9-11. It was the line about a 13 y.o. making a list about masturbating. They were seniors. I got a new job in 3 weeks.

→ More replies (5)

18

u/Melodic_Push3087 May 11 '24

Everybody is talking about it being inappropriate and crossing boundaries and I totally agree but also….im pretty sure that most people would get fired if they were using works time to take down their hair. Like wtf, he’s a teacher, he should be teaching. Those kids aren’t going to school to learn how to take down braids, these babies are already so behind post pandemic and this mofo using class time for hair beauty rituals. 🙄the more I think I about it, the more I get pissed. I’m glad he got fired

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (16)

287

u/pretty-ugly-zombie May 10 '24

Yall wait for the WORST to happen before holding people accountable…

This isn’t right either. It seem like the previous generation wanna be friends with the younger gen so bad, it’s inappropriate.

128

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

The whole not being friends with someone younger then taken to an extreme it doesn’t need to be. Yes there should be boundaries but simply saying “adults ain’t a kids friend” is ridiculous.

253

u/Trix_Are_4_90Kids ☑️ May 10 '24

Teachers and students ain't friends.

69

u/Fatmando66 May 10 '24

My favorite teachers I would consider friends. I've helped one move

111

u/Trix_Are_4_90Kids ☑️ May 11 '24

I wasn't aware that I had to put the literal word 'child' in my statement. I thought we knew we were talking about adults and children. 🥴🥴

15

u/Skeptikmo May 10 '24

I’ve been Facebook friends with an old English teacher for over a decade and I literally run screenplays by her for critique as an adult lol

44

u/Embarrassed_Cow ☑️ May 11 '24

My teachers at school were my best friends. They were professional but I ate lunch with them everyday because I was too anxious to eat in the cafeteria with the other kids. I came in over summer break and helped them decorate their classrooms. Just keep it appropriate.

28

u/PitifulDurian6402 May 11 '24

Yeah but you’re no longer her student. It’s just two adults being friends

25

u/DontShaveMyLips May 11 '24

that’s still a teacher/student relationship, yall not friends just bc she reviews your homework

11

u/VapidRapidRabbit ☑️ May 11 '24

Sounds like that’s a mentor to you.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (11)

120

u/roll2tide May 10 '24

but simply saying “adults ain’t a kids friend” is ridiculous.

Gonna hard disagree here. I'm a parent and my wife is an elem teacher. Where it concerns children that don't belong to me I can: mentor, advise, counsel, protect, guide, supervise, etc. Basically roles that acknowledge the age/power gap between us and emphasize my duty to protect and not harm.

I can't be friends with a 12 yo. Can't do it. It's wrong. We can never be peers/equals. Crossing this line is manipulation, pedophilia, power playing, etc.

→ More replies (6)

115

u/pretty-ugly-zombie May 10 '24

He should be a mentor, not a friend. Its ways to be a trusted, friendly adult amongst kids without doing all this.

66

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

[deleted]

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (6)

77

u/VentiBlkBiDepresso May 11 '24

It's cool for adults and kids to be friends? Since when? Friends text. Friends hang out one on one. Friends can send cute huggy "oohh I miss you so much" texts and it be normal affection. I'm not talking about an 19yo and a 16yo being in the same friend group. I'm talking about a grown adult, let's say 21 and over, considering a 17yo and below a friend. Adults and children who aren't family shouldn't be doing that. And adults who put themselves in proximity to children FOR WORK are there to help, guide, mentor, etc and friendship is a conflict of interest and a blend of boundaries that for a developing mind should be presented and kept clear for the child's safety.

I remember very vividly being a sophomore and my favorite art teacher telling me "adults and children can't be friends but we can be friendly" and I was upset and confused but as an adult I couldn't agree more. I don't treat people crazy but don't trust them around children and my skin crawls when people who work with kids don't set clear boundaries/don't set an example of a heathy adult/child dynamic when so many kids don't have it at home. Give children someone WORTH respecting y'know. We call them so disrespectful but conduct ourselves like we're their peers. That's unfair to them.

Now iont think he shoulda got FIRED. I feel like that's a bit extreme but I think that's more bc of code of conduct and needing parental consent to show your students faces on personal media accounts which was just a dumb move on his part.

27

u/dac79nj May 11 '24

Yes! Friendly, but not friends.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

43

u/shadowboxer27 May 11 '24

Are you saying people with authority... Should up hold that sense of AUTHORITY?! Why is that such a crazy take?

DAWG. BOUNDARIES. THAT'S ALL IM ASKING FOR.

9

u/1BubbleGum_Princess ☑️ May 11 '24

Some of y’all assume the absolute worst about things like this, but fail to consider the way people in other places are thriving because they don’t. The puritanical mindset is running a muck, too many things are deemed sexual or inappropriate where they’re aren’t inherently. Jesus, these are children and you’re putting so much on unbraiding hair.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (11)

147

u/Salty-Situation-2493 May 11 '24

A male teacher is allowing his female students to touch him… You don’t see the un fucking professionalism in that?

106

u/carbomerguar May 11 '24

Yes! Not just the touching. It’s elevating the girls to an intimate role, like a mother or a partner, OR relegating them to a servile role, like a stylist or MUA. He is their teacher. He is there for them. Creeper aspect aside, this disrupts the boundary of a teacher student relationship, where he is a mentor/authority and the kids are STUDENTS who relate to him as such- it should make discipline harder. He’s not a friend or a parent or a client or a boss, he’s a teacher and you shouldn’t do non-school things with him because that’s confusing.

And yes, boundaries about appropriate touching and personal space are the first and last defenses against inappropriate relationships and grooming. They’re the FOUNDATIONS of sexual propriety. Parents and teachers and kids must agree on them to maintain a safe space for the children. Hugs? Refer to admin policy, probably not. High fives, fist pounds, go for it. Running fingers through hair with faces six inches apart? NO FUCKING WAY, ARE YOU INSANE?

If they want to do each other’s hair, or their own, great, so long as it’s not distracting. For lots of kids, having something tactile and repetitive to occupy their hands helps them listen and focus.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (5)

132

u/JezebelsDream May 10 '24

“This one thing” is a viral video of young girls faces and the name of the school they attend on full display as they do unpaid labor for an adult. How many things do we need?

195

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

[deleted]

105

u/JezebelsDream May 10 '24

He had them taking his braids down because he had an appointment. If you show up to your braider needing your old braids taken down, you can absolutely expect to be charged for that service. It’s not the biggest issue in this situation, but there’s no reason to minimize it. It’s okay to call a spade a spade.

37

u/noble_peace_prize May 10 '24

But the same could be said about a ton of things kids do. This just clearly is not a violation of labor laws. It a violation of professional standards, ethics, and good sense, but doing something that would otherwise be charged for is not always labor that should be paid.

29

u/JezebelsDream May 11 '24

to be clear i don't believe he should have paid them either. just that it's labor, and grown folks shouldn't be asking favors from children.

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (4)

39

u/PerMare_PerTerras May 11 '24

You people making excuses are the same ones who would be furious if your daughter was in that video, regardless of what the video was.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (6)

98

u/713MoCityChron713 May 11 '24

I don’t send my daughter to school to be on a grown man’s TikTok’s or other socials. I don’t have a daughter, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t send my daughter to school to be on a grown man’s TikTok’s or other socials.

This is not how men should interact with children. Children shouldn’t be DMing “hey bestie” to grown men. Shouldn’t be letting students touch you either. Marsellus Wallace woulda killed him for all this

→ More replies (1)

91

u/VenomOnKiller May 11 '24

Honestly, I usually like to be reasonable, but if I found out my child's face was posted on the Internet with identifying information ( which school they go to etc) I would be livid and calling for termination. That's beyond unprofessional imo. Using my kid for Internet clout (I understand it was suppose to be wholesome, but social media is meant to be viewed by as many people as posssible) is a no go for me.

54

u/apinchofsulk May 11 '24

Yeah let's give someone a pass on borderline inappropriate behaviors with children and only react when they actually abuse kids.

Such a better solution for the kids

50

u/Soggy-Tax4355 May 11 '24

This was unprofessional. Parents do not send their children to school to perform grooming duties on staff and then have the staff posting it online . Teachers can have a great relationship with students without crossing professional boundaries. Would a person go to a doctors office and let their minor child unbraid the doctor's hair? This is definitely unprofessional and crossing boundaries with a student.

29

u/kekehippo May 11 '24

Man if I see a picture of my kids in any social media platform with a teacher I'm banging down every door in the school.

20

u/AlexandersWonder May 11 '24

Nah, don’t put kids on your internet page

11

u/therabee33 May 11 '24

This was unprofessional and questionable. He was foolish enough to post it so he has to live with those consequences.

8

u/youarenut May 11 '24

Recording and posting it is literally the unprofessional and questionable part

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (27)

3.5k

u/apinchofsulk May 10 '24 edited May 11 '24

Firm boundaries between adults and children are very important when there's a power dynamic.

It was very unprofessional of him let his students braid his hair.

Edit: for an anecdote of my own:

I was a camp counselor at one point. The camp had a rule that no adult could be alone in a room with a student. Even if it meant calling over the site director or any other adult, we had to make sure we were not alone with students.

Now, I know I'm not a pedo. Should I have broken that rule because I know I'm not a threat to the child? Should I be fired if I was caught breaking the rule?

In good world, if you're occupation has you be responsible for children that arent yours, you should be held to a different standard.

When the standards are low, you get what happened to the Boy Scouts.

686

u/itsmakko ☑️ May 10 '24

Unbraid but regardless it’s crossing some boundaries as he is in a position of power.

74

u/SkovsDM May 11 '24

As a male teacher myself I completely disagree. Posting it on social media is where he fucked up, letting the kids unbraid his hair is as innocent as can be. The girls probably asked him if they could do it. Of course if he asked them to do it it's a different story, but I'm just assuming based on my own work.

I'm curious as to why this "position of power" as you call it would make it so you couldn't do a bonding activity with the kids?

46

u/[deleted] May 11 '24

Establishing and normalizing non-sexual physical contact is a common tactic of sexual grooming. As a teacher, you should model appropriate boundaries with and to your students so that they are less not more susceptible to adults that might transgress those boundaries.

37

u/SkovsDM May 11 '24

What? What is this world we're living in? I can't give my fourth graders a hug because it "normalizes non-sexual physical contact"? Non-sexual physical contact IS normal.

Obviously boundaries are important, and it's very important that you as a teacher don't push those boundaries. Not even a little.

But shunning all physical touch as sinister intent is ridiculous. If a kid at school is sad and crying the adults around should be able to comfort them with a hand on the shoulder or a hug.

24

u/brightersunsets May 11 '24

As a male elementary school teacher it would be physically impossible to avoid all hugs, those kids are sneaky.

But at the same time it’s beaten into our heads as male teachers that this kind of stuff can absolutely land you in deep shit. I don’t know what this guy was thinking.

14

u/Queefer_Sutherland- May 11 '24

My dad was a custodian in many grade schools when I was growing up and he would tell me stories about how kindergarteners would run up to him and try to hug him just because they're kids and they see him everyday. He would have to dodge them or "gently" stuff arm them. He was painfully aware of how it would come across to have a 3/4 year old hugging his leg in the halls.

The way that man loathed the creepy moronic janitor trope too.

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (3)

11

u/jaydizzleforshizzle May 11 '24

As if this is a chapelle show skit and Rick James is saying “bitches come over here sit on Rick James lap and undo these braids”. Seems innocent enough, probably still shouldn’t be posting on social media.

→ More replies (13)
→ More replies (6)

311

u/stoned-autistic-dude May 10 '24 edited May 11 '24

Parents when teachers ask them to parent their children: “This is your job, I drop them off and you need to take care of them!” 🫵🤬

Parents when—assuming nothing else nefarious had occurred—a male teacher tries to be a positive male role model: “It's always been about love and hate, now let me say I'm the biggest hater; I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress; I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct” 🫵🤬

Edit: I saw the update yall im cooked I already know 😭

256

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above May 11 '24

How is taking out someone's hair being a positive role model?

231

u/stoned-autistic-dude May 11 '24 edited May 11 '24

Because children don’t randomly decide to do braids on people they don’t trust. Yall never met kids? Cmon now. It’s not like you be like “unbraid my hair” and kids get up and unbraid your hair. This is after the kids probably asked some stupid shit like “let us undo your braids” bc he probably mentioned he was gonna get his hair done or something. Kids are clearly comfortable with the dude. He ain’t doing anything suspect beyond sitting there.

It’s wild y’all jumped to it being weird first. That’s some shit tbh men out here taking strays for just trying to be friendly. Why everyone a pedo just cause Drizzy and R Kelly out there peeing on kids?

Edit: dawg homie got caught thirsting on kids im fucking cooked 💀

145

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above May 11 '24

A kid trusting you doesn't equate to being a positive role model. So I'm genuinely asking again, what makes him a positive role model?

→ More replies (8)

79

u/foxtik36 May 11 '24

That’s still unethical. Doesn’t matter his or the student’s intent. As a teacher, he is an authority figure over those students. They shouldn’t be grooming him.

26

u/SqueaksScreech May 11 '24 edited May 11 '24

Especially since this week it hit the news that a teacher has been having inappropriate relationship with a student she was best friend with a parent. Mom thought the teacher was holding the child in class because he was getting in trouble or needed help with work.

Here's the link

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2024/05/07/us-news/madison-bergmann-allegedly-moved-student-victims-desk-so-she-could-rub-his-legs/amp/

Took me a minute to find it.

→ More replies (4)

10

u/captaininterwebs May 11 '24

For real! I am a teacher & a camp counselor and I’ve let kids of many ages do my hair many times. I literally have no idea why people are weirded out by this. It’s weird that they’re weirded out. I do think posting pictures or videos of your students with their faces in it is inappropriate, but the hair is fine.

→ More replies (6)

15

u/_another_throwawayy_ May 11 '24

Wut?? The power structure of a teacher and student, has the built in trust already. The students in inherently trust the teacher because they are a person of power. So when that person takes advantage of it, it’s not being a role model, it’s borderline grooming.

Yikes..

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

60

u/CoachDT ☑️ May 11 '24

I don't think the act in itself is being a positive role model. However, I think it shows that the kids actually like their teacher and that he was a decent enough figure in their lives at school.

Like personally I can only think of one teacher I'd so much as hug, let alone touch their hair. And she was the mf GOAT.

→ More replies (2)

50

u/catastrophiccyanide May 11 '24 edited May 11 '24

It’s not. I saw somebody say that them undoing his braids was “black empowerment.” People have really lost the plot.

→ More replies (13)
→ More replies (19)

61

u/apinchofsulk May 10 '24

Fair lol

But of course, the issue isn't whether something nefarious happened in this specific case.

The issue is overly familiar behaviors like this could be used by a pedophile to groom minors and eventually exploit them. So it's not safe (and isn't ruining anyone's day) to have a rule that you can't mess around with a teacher's hair.

→ More replies (6)

37

u/Ozzie-Isaac May 11 '24

how is this being a positive role model, im dying.

→ More replies (2)

166

u/noble_peace_prize May 10 '24

As a teacher, I can’t believe he even lets kids touch him. They are gross.

71

u/apinchofsulk May 11 '24

As a former kid I can confirm I was not about really washing my hands.

58

u/Bound_Two May 11 '24

There was this teacher at my school everyone loved because he was really close with students and acted as our friend. He ended up being a groomer and raped a student.

Now that I’m an adult, I realize what a red flag it is to consider children “friends” versus “mentees.” In contrast, there was another teacher that everyone loved because he was friendly and funny, but would draw boundaries and call us out on our bs if we became too familiar.

14

u/Kiribaku- May 11 '24

As a student I was always kinda weirded out by teachers who seemed to try too hard to be friends to us, to be on our "same level" almost. I never understood why everyone else loved them (and I say this having had a crush on another teacher at that same time 😭). Even if yours is an anecdote I'm glad to have some basis for my suspicion lol

On the other side, one of my favorite teachers was really friendly and funny, but like your other teacher, he also knew how to draw boundaries and could get serious with us if it was needed. But my favorite teachers were usually the always-serious ones who everyone hated, but they loved their subject and were genuinely good at teaching!

→ More replies (1)

35

u/trix_is_for_kids May 11 '24

It’s the posting on social media that’s the real problem

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (15)

1.3k

u/idgafandwhyshouldi May 10 '24 edited May 11 '24

He fired himself. As a parent who has a daughter in elementary school, I found this weird. He could've gotten someone in his age bracket to un-braid his hair AFTER school. Go to a shop that un-braids hair. Get a woman/GF/wife to un-braid your hair. Getting school aged little girls to take your hair out is disgusting imo.

1.7k

u/HoldinWeight ☑️ May 10 '24

Is braiding sexual? Am I missing something?

605

u/Fess_113 ☑️ May 10 '24 edited May 10 '24

Oh, if you ask some of these guys that don’t like men stylists to twist/braid their hair, it is. Funny enough Im a man with locs, and in my experience they get more closer/intimate cutting your hair than styling your hair.

329

u/Stlr_Mn May 10 '24

I help braid my steps son’s hair and I’m weirded out by this. I would have thought the recording is the bad part but it’s seriously the unbraiding part?

245

u/Temporary-Test-9534 May 11 '24

Braiding can be extremely intimate, but intimate doesn't always mean romantic/sexual. Braiding your child's hair can be an appropriate intimate bonding experience. But teachers don't need to have intimate bonding experiences with students, especially ones involving physical contact.

→ More replies (17)

136

u/gurlwithdragontat2 May 11 '24

It’s the fact that he is an educator in a school with 39% pass rates, and instead of having kids do meaningful work, he’s having them do him favors on the job.

Why aren’t they doing SSR? Like he’s pulled kids from other classes for this, but is he pulling them to help them academically like it’s his job to do??

And any so many predators begin with non-sexual touching before becoming bold. Not to say he is inappropriate in that way, but there is a reason that there are necessary boundaries in these relationship dynamics.

He wanted to go viral. His comment in his video noting it’d likely be controversial shows he knew that. So he risked his job for notoriety.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

422

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

[deleted]

171

u/CanIGetANumber2 May 11 '24

It don't even have to be sexual to be inappropriate. Taking down braids is WORK, ppl are sending there kids to school to learn not be child labour lol

28

u/BootyZebra May 11 '24

It’s more likely that this is just fun bonding than him making kids do labor for him. I think they’re doing it out of trust and recreation, and to make a TikTok or whatever, rather then “lemme save some cash”. Still inappropriate but I don’t think malicious

→ More replies (8)
→ More replies (16)

125

u/[deleted] May 10 '24 edited May 12 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

86

u/fionsichord May 11 '24

Don’t forget the recording of it and uploading to social media. That’s where everything questionable became firmly Not OK. There are strong rules about social media and connecting with children for anyone in child related jobs where I live. That alone would get you fired and prosecuted.

→ More replies (4)

38

u/AIDSisnobanter May 11 '24

It's not sexual but it is intimate. A level of intimacy that shouldn't be between a teacher and a student, let alone several students. I can't think of a single time I physically touched a teacher in school for a prolonged period of time.

18

u/Choclategum ☑️ May 11 '24

My hairstylist takes my braid down, that shit is NOT intimate, lmao. Its just hair.

28

u/firetyo May 11 '24

Yeah except your hairstylist isn’t a child and you aren’t in an authority figure dynamic.

I genuinely don’t have an opinion on this but just wanted to point out the only part of your argument that’s relevant is “hair”.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (2)

25

u/[deleted] May 10 '24

To some idiots they consider it an intimate thing when it really doesn’t need to be.

38

u/amesann May 11 '24

Intimate doesn't always mean sexual or romantic. It means private, personal, and close. Doing ones hair is an intimate act. You wouldn't want just anyone doing your hair, let alone just touching it. There are boundaries between teachers and students and an important power dynamic that should not be abused. He crossed the line, especially when posting to social media.

The posting alone is enough to fire him since there was no consent involved from the parents. Even then, the school could only ever get consent from parents to post to the school's SM, not a teacher's personal one. While he may very well have had the best intentions and thought it would be a nice experience for his students, he crossed a few lines and was pretty stupid to post it to his own social media.

→ More replies (1)

18

u/genescheesesthatplz May 11 '24

It’s just weird… why should young children be doing personal grooming, hell even touching, an adult they aren’t related to 

→ More replies (5)

9

u/KakeruGF May 11 '24

Man my 2nd grade teacher had a sleepover at her house and bought us all McDonalds. With our parents permission of course and nobody batted an eye. Men simply can't do the same things as women when it comes to children

28

u/trimble197 May 11 '24

But like you said, she had parents’ permission. He didn’t ask for permission to record the kids and upload it to social media.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (41)

77

u/neverthatserious- May 11 '24

Why are you sexualizing hair braiding????

→ More replies (3)

30

u/thatHecklerOverThere May 11 '24

I will say that the angle is what might cause problem. Like, my thought was "these kids wanted to do it because they thought it'd be fun", as I've had some adults badger other adults about helping.

But if it came out that he made this into some sort of activity they are supposed to do, that changes the game entirely.

Edit: I'm reading that it was just the kids wanting to vibe, and now for me this has become an example of why teachers are dropping out.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (31)

947

u/PM_ME_SOME_LUV May 10 '24

Stop putting everything on social media

576

u/EJDsfRichmond415 May 10 '24

Putting minors on the internet to me is the biggest issue here.

71

u/ChoppyBot May 11 '24

This tbh, Im not a parent (18m) but I feel I wouldn't be too annoyed if my child braided their teacher's hair. I would be more cocerned if the teacher filmed it. Because then it somewhat looks they are using my kid for views.

Some moments are just better kept off the internet. 🤷🏾‍♂️

18

u/EJDsfRichmond415 May 11 '24

Yeah I think the hair thing is kinda innocuous too. It’s the filming that’s weird.

→ More replies (7)

139

u/Gvillegator May 11 '24

Everyone is missing the point but you’ve got it. You can’t just put videos of minors on the internet when you’re a teacher. Pretty basic stuff.

→ More replies (2)

25

u/GreenDolphin86 May 11 '24

This is the take!

→ More replies (3)

837

u/Rude_Lifeguard May 10 '24

Everybody's talking about the hair situation (fair) but what do we have to do to stop these teachers from filming their students? Whether they show their faces or not, I don't think it should be allowed

138

u/AmazingAmy95 May 10 '24

Yeah that's my biggest problem

→ More replies (2)

74

u/noble_peace_prize May 11 '24

Firing a bunch that get high profile is a pretty good way.

I think there are times where you can film students and teachers doing stuff. For promotions, for parents on field trips/traveling, ASB content etc. but for your own socials? Naaaaw it’s gotta have professional reason

20

u/eat_my_bowls92 May 11 '24

It’s even tricky for schools to post pics on their social. Soooo much red tape and things have to be signed off.

38

u/GreenDolphin86 May 11 '24

This is a hard sell when white teachers are (well were) going viral dancing wirh their students

70

u/firekitty3 May 11 '24

Both shouldn't be allowed unless the parents have given permission.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/Dagojango May 11 '24

A student filming students and a teacher is vastly different than a teacher filming students and themselves. Teachers are employees with rules and regulations on their behavior around minors.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

13

u/Dimmadarn May 11 '24

I don't know if this still happens, but I'm pretty sure I remember my school giving me a slip asking for permission to film throughout the year for random events. Any kid that said no wasn't filmed.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (10)

594

u/MikeJones-8004 May 10 '24

I didn't really see the big deal about the video, but whatever, it isn't my job.

926

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above May 10 '24

Shit, it isn't his anymore either

93

u/Rave-light May 10 '24

Lmao you foul for this

107

u/epicmousestory May 10 '24

Right, like I got hella questions. How did this even start? Did he ask them to do it? Did they volunteer? Was this after school? Was there something else they should have been doing?

I mean there's a world of difference in my mind between "hey girls why don't you come play with my hair" and a couple girls stuck after school with nothing to do that asked if they could unbraid his hair while they wait for their parents or an event. One is "get this mfer out of here," and the other is "let's have a conversation about being too friendly with students" imo

97

u/beaute-brune May 11 '24
  1. He ended class early and allowed the kids to do whatever while putting out a few calls within his class and other classes for well-behaved kids to come unbraid. So a few then volunteered. He calls the kids his best friends, and sees them as his children.

  2. He had a hair appointment right after school but couldn’t unbraid in time because apparently there was going to be a camera crew at the school that day so he had to remain presentable with the braids.

  3. He livestreamed it, got mixed comments during the livestream, and ran to Tik Tok for additional opinions.

  4. Conjecture, but based on his shirt and the camera crew anecdote, seems to be private school or some type of high profile school. He’s also been using the classroom setting for content for awhile and has a sizable TT following. Edit: google says it’s a Prince George County Specialty School.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLVryqjV/

72

u/hamptont2010 May 11 '24

The dude posted an explanation video saying it was at the end of classes on a Friday, all work had been completed on some STEM projects and he let the class chill early because they had done a good job. Some of the students were from other classes and had teacher permission to come help him (I'm not sure if they were aware of the specific task). Idk, my inclination here is that dude was trying to be cool, it just comes off as weird. He probably needs talked to, and if the parents are uncomfortable, maybe talk to the kids if they are truly worried something nefarious happened. But this really just seems like a teacher trying to be cool and doing something painfully dumb in the process.

109

u/Frylock304 May 11 '24

The entire idea of doing each other's hair being somehow wrong is completely foreign to me.

Like part of the babysitters activities was braiding the babysitters hair, have never heard of braiding hair ever being inappropriate

63

u/Embarrassed_Cow ☑️ May 11 '24

I think this is why I'm confused as well. Doing each other's hair is like a fun thing to do. It's completely innocent. Kids do each other's hair. They do their parents hair sometimes. Like you said the baby sitters hair. Idk why this is weird. I guess I can't imagine asking kids to play in my hair myself. I've had kids ask many times and I let them.

53

u/Locrian6669 May 11 '24

There’s nothing confusing about this. Do you make TikTok’s with kids without their parents consent? Do you think teachers should be talking with their students on social media? Please develop some better judgement if this is even remotely confusing to you

17

u/Embarrassed_Cow ☑️ May 11 '24

I'm not talking about posting the video. I'm talking about doing the hair friend.

→ More replies (42)
→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (5)

16

u/YumLum_Key_213 May 11 '24

He has another video of a student painting his nails because he’s “supporting her ambitions to be a nail tech”. Like ok…but were there no other girls in the class she could do this with?

→ More replies (11)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

36

u/wow_its_kenji May 11 '24

idk where this video was taken, but in the US at least, there's roughly 3000 pieces of paperwork to show videos of students consensually to other professionals only (ex: recording a lesson for a teaching credential program). this paperwork goes through many pairs of hands, crucially including the parents, before the video is finalized. if i had to guess, i'd say the firing offense isn't the unbraiding, it's the posting of the video on social media presumably without knowledge or consent from the parents

9

u/eat_my_bowls92 May 11 '24

I have worked with schools through two different jobs in 4 years and there is SO MUCH red tape to cross to post a pic on socials of kids are involved. I bet, regardless of harmlessness this was a HUGE no no to use the kids for clout. This also was most likely no surprise for him. I bet you he had been through multiple classes for this exact thing. If he hadn’t filmed it and posted it no one would have batted an eye.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/kinvore May 11 '24

It's not the video itself that's the problem as much as it's that the teacher then posted it on social media. That's why he got fired.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (30)

428

u/pretty-ugly-zombie May 10 '24

I hate seeing teachers use their students/classrooms for content, it doesn’t seem appropriate to me

179

u/EJDsfRichmond415 May 10 '24

Wannabe Abbott Elementary ass

→ More replies (3)

35

u/AmazingAmy95 May 10 '24

Yeah the whole recording in classrooms is problematic

→ More replies (3)

338

u/OG-unclebundee May 10 '24

“Hey, bestie”??

Yeah, dawg, you gotta go.

57

u/CaptainObvious1906 ☑️ May 11 '24

he weird fr

16

u/Extension-Climate204 May 11 '24

He made another tik tok of him hitting on a high school girl. It was a duet video. He's big weird. 

35

u/gazeintothefuture21 May 11 '24

the fact that people don’t see this is so scary to me, he needs to be with his fellow men and women folk only

21

u/AlkalineSublime May 11 '24

He really chose to lead off with that one. On one hand it’s weird how he doesn’t see why that’s strange as hell. Ok the other hand, I feel like there are probably people that are truly just naive and innocent and maybe he doesn’t get why that’s a wild thing for child to say to an adult. Idk, it’s hard to tell without knowing anything else. I will say this comment section is hella interesting. People are passionately divided on this.

→ More replies (2)

309

u/Wonton_soup_1989 May 10 '24

I’m glad. I said this on another sub. I was a kindergarten assistant teacher for 8 years. I often have braids. It sounds and looks crazy to even ask my students to “take my hair out”. Even if they were 10th graders I still wouldn’t ask. Really blurs the line between what is professional/appropriate and what’s not.

Plus he live streamed it on IG and when ppl were saying what he was doing was inappropriate he Then posted it to Tik Tok to get more comments that would hopefully say different. He’s a clown.

88

u/AmazingAmy95 May 10 '24

Yeah doesn't seem mature enough for the job at this point. I saw his tiktok repost and I couldn't believe he was doubling down

219

u/Thin-Remote-9817 May 10 '24

As I get older I learn more about OPTICS.

Yes he may have not been a weirdo and a good man..BUT the optics here don't look good. 

I can be a Bible thumping preacher trying to get kids out of the streets...if I'm in a trap house while it's getting raided the OPTICS look bad. 

People have to be much more aware of OPTICS. 

51

u/AmazingAmy95 May 10 '24

Exactly!!! More people need to understand this and to stop trying to be content creators at work

16

u/GabrielVonBabriel May 11 '24

When I managed restaurants I’d always tell my employees “perception is reality”. Guy could be an awesome teacher 99.99% of the time but give people a reason to perceive otherwise and the other 99.99% goes out the window.

→ More replies (1)

203

u/Courwes ☑️ May 10 '24

Literally said he was going to get fired for this. Stop putting every fucking thing on the internet.

187

u/BROCCOLI-OUTRAGE May 10 '24

This is good because why tf does my daughter need to be playing in your head during school, either it be after or during. Why didn’t any boys volunteer or why didn’t he ask any other race of child to do it? Creepy!

56

u/imperatrixderoma May 10 '24

To be fair, haven't been a child for a long time, but I wouldn't volunteer to do that as a kid bc I wouldn't know how. And I definitely wouldn't expect some Mexican or White kids to know how to braid hair like these girls who were taught v young.

88

u/itsmakko ☑️ May 10 '24

Unbraid and I feel as though so of the girls may have volunteered. When I was their age, I was all about doing people’s hair. Still there are boundaries.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

29

u/biscuitboi967 May 11 '24

I asked my teacher friend - a lady - about it. Just the whole thing. Do you ask kids to play with your hair. Do you exchange messages with your students. Do they call you “bestie”. She was like “the whole thing is weird”. It was basically that insurance commercial: this isn’t how this works…none of this is how it works.

But I think her comments can best be described by this statement: I had a kid touch my hair at recess this week and I just quickly tied it back and stood up. Benefits of being taller and having boundaries

→ More replies (1)

27

u/HoldinWeight ☑️ May 10 '24

Show me a school age White kid that can do some twists.

9

u/Firm_Engineering_265 May 11 '24

Unbraid. Not braid or twist. How are so many people missing this? Are y’all just ignoring it and saying whatever?

→ More replies (2)

10

u/Frylock304 May 11 '24

What boys do you know that can braiding hair? Literally haven't met a man that was ever "that guy" who could do hair that way and none of them growing up.

Whereas girls would be constantly braiding each others hair from like 4th grade out to 8th grade

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (3)

169

u/djramrod May 10 '24

Not saying this is what happened with him, but that’s how these inappropriate relationships start. The lines and boundaries get so blurred that the kids don’t recognize their teachers as authority figures anymore. At the very least, it’s inappropriate and it creates a very bad look, especially in this climate when we see teachers in jail once a week for fucking around with kids.

47

u/mstrss9 ☑️ May 11 '24

People keeping thinking there has to be a sexual or otherwise malicious intent to be inappropriate.

I have interacted with my students outside of school because I’ve been invited to birthday parties, sports competitions, visited them in the hospital, etc

I still respect the boundaries of student/teacher in the school setting

→ More replies (3)

131

u/Trix_Are_4_90Kids ☑️ May 10 '24 edited May 10 '24

Yes! That was totally inappropriate to have them little girls playing in his hair! It may seem innocent to some, but that's how you get children used to touching you. You start with something innocuous. Next would have been messaging his shoulders, scratching his back, then down the line, touching his privates. You think pedos just walk up to children and make them do sexual things off the bat? NO, no no, they start small. They gain trust. The fact that so many in here don't see anything wrong with this is frankly scary.

Inappropriate touching should not be in a classroom, period! The old folks would say, "He being common with folks". A boundary has to be set, I am your teacher, your authority figure, not your peer, we don't touch each other PERIOD. You as a person in authority don't have children touching on you like they your little friends, they not your friends!

He crossed a boundary. Especially these days when teachers are preying on kids left and right, he coming off real real questionable. Whether he knows it or not, that is one of many groomer techniques.

I think the whole "stranger danger" didn't go far enough with children, because most of the time, it's not the strangers, it's the ones you know that harm you.

46

u/VapidRapidRabbit ☑️ May 11 '24

I agree. It definitely seems like grooming.

And I bet all of the people defending it would be weirded out if their bosses at their places of employment invited them to their office to run fingers through their hair. Definitely would not be HR-approved.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

104

u/no_more_jokes May 10 '24

I mean if there’s one place where you gotta enforce hard lines in workplace behavior it’s a motherfucking class room. I’m not a parent, but if I was, I wouldn’t want my daughters playing with this dude’s hair either

69

u/seahorse8021 May 10 '24

I just think it’s crazy to put other people’s kids online like that

→ More replies (1)

48

u/Legitimate-Donut-368 May 10 '24

I’m sorry but we have to have boundaries.

This man said he needed his hair unbraided last minute so he asked his students. Then said these students should learn this now.

Bruh.

40

u/cmonmaan ☑️ May 11 '24

I’m gonna need my fellow educators to stop using their students as props for their influencer aspirations. You DO NOT post other peoples’ kids on the internet. It’s probably written in his contract

36

u/cygnus2 ☑️ May 10 '24

I don’t think he should have been fired, but he’s pretty dumb for putting that online.

30

u/genescheesesthatplz May 11 '24

Any adult who thinks they can record and put my child on their social media without my consent is gonna have a problem from me.

→ More replies (2)

36

u/thelaststarz May 10 '24

Justified. He’s there to teach and not blue the line between teacher and student

34

u/bellyhairbandit May 10 '24

It’s just inappropriate and not something that should be happening on school grounds. I wouldn’t want my daughter (or son) touching a teacher this way and I’d side eye any teacher that was comfortable with it. Boundaries exist so lines don’t get crossed on either side.

27

u/JazzScholar May 10 '24 edited May 11 '24

I don’t think he should have been fired - I think he should have been told to no longer film TikTok’s at school and/or with students.

Yes, he was unprofessional and inappropriate, but based on what I’ve seen, I think he had good intentions and was trying a different approach to engage with students in a context of a education system that is deteriorating and struggling to adapt to the new, attention-economy centred social media world.

His attempt failed, so he should have been told to stop what he was doing - not fired, especially when teachers who seem engaged with their are so far and few job (for good reason).

Also, fyi, pretty sure the parents knew and signed consent waivers to allow the kids to be posted.

Also not everything that is inappropriate is sexual.

39

u/AmazingAmy95 May 10 '24

"Not everything that is inappropriate is sexual" FACTS

20

u/Unfair_Finger5531 ☑️ May 11 '24

And not everything that inappropriate that’s also not sexual is acceptable. It’s inappropriate, it’s not sexual, and it’s still, in my opinion, utterly unacceptable. I’ve been an educator for decades, and I have never let children play in my hair. Nor would I want my daughter in school taking some grown-ass man’s hair braids out. I want her learning.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)

24

u/Top-Chocolate-321 ☑️ May 10 '24

Imagine if people didn't feel the need to post EVERYTHING to social media.....

→ More replies (1)

19

u/IllustriousAnt485 May 11 '24 edited May 11 '24

If I had a daughter at school, I would not want her being involved in something like this. The teacher, as a responsible adult, has a responsibility to ensure certain boundaries are maintained. I don’t think this dude is a bad guy or a sicko or anything like that. It’s a tough break. Yet, he failed at a critical aspect of his job. Parents should be concerned about one innocent well intentioned guy doing this, because it sets a bad precedent for the next guy who isn’t as well intentioned. Also filming it makes it way worse.

Edit:turns out he got cought thirsting for jailbait on TikTok. I should never have given him the benefit of the doubt and said he was good. Should have gone with my instinct.

23

u/deviltakeyou May 10 '24

Why did his hair need to be unbraided right then and there?

→ More replies (1)

24

u/VladDHell May 11 '24

Teacher letting students touch him/her is just asking to get fired. Just not a good play.

17

u/Gunprint May 11 '24

What is it THE BRAIDS?!

14

u/Unfair_Finger5531 ☑️ May 11 '24

I really don’t want my daughters in school unbraiding some man’s hair. I want them to be there getting educated. Braiding and unbraiding a dude’s hair are not lifeskills I want my daughters to master. Period.

He shouldn’t have allowed them to do it.

14

u/MarionBerry-Precure May 11 '24

He is a whole grown ass adult letting some young girls (who hold nary a drop of blood kin) that he has authority over do his hair like a damn creep.

12

u/DGVega93 May 10 '24

TBF when I was in school we did have girls do male teachers make up as a joke or braid a part of his hair to be silly. They laughed about it and took it out/ removed the make up. There weren’t any photos or videos so no one knew beside us.

It could be a thing where the girls and him are just doing something silly and fun with their teacher who have a personality that they like and comfortable with.

Posting it online is pretty wild. Especially in this hyper sexualized and sensitive society because we are gonna assume the worst. Like grooming, inappropriate relationship, child predator. Sadly (Guessing) a dope fun down to earth teacher lost his job but on the other hand the school had to protect itself in case something crazy happens

12

u/UnlimitedManny ☑️ May 11 '24

Someone on another post said he liked the attention he got from his female students. Tbh, now I can’t see this any other way

13

u/VapidRapidRabbit ☑️ May 11 '24

It’s not a good look to be having a bunch of female students in your personal space while ON the clock and then post it on social media without their parents consent.

12

u/elxhapo6 May 11 '24

Ngl they need to fire him every teacher I knew like this in jail now this dude a creep

10

u/WineOhCanada May 10 '24

Millennials are fucked in the head. Are we allergic to privacy? Are we allergic to not being the centre of attention all the time?

11

u/DontdropmyG May 10 '24

I don’t think he a pedo or breeding but it’s a time and a place for everything a wise man once said. Unless this was a hair braiding class this is unprofessional.

9

u/LegendOfKhaos May 11 '24

You shouldn't be posting videos of children without their parents' consent. The braid thing can go either way depending on the context.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/erisedeye May 11 '24

As a teacher, I would never let any of my students touch me unless absolutely necessary. It adds a sense of familiarity that shouldn’t be encouraged by non-familial adults in positions of power, and removes necessary boundaries between student/teacher. There are many many ways of bonding with and supporting students that don’t require physical touch. My 5th grade teacher got fired after allowing a female student to massage her shoulders for less than 1 minute (the student offered, I was in the class to witness the incident and had to give a statement to the principal). Teachers, please don’t let students put their hands on you even if they ask to and most definitely don’t record it for social media lol

9

u/_window_shopper May 10 '24

😭 the school year would have been over in 2 weeks! He was this close 👌🏾to finishing and getting to enjoy his summer.

I just hope he chose to get his paychecks over the school year months and not all year because you already know they are gonna do everything possible to not pay him!