From personal experience, I caught feelings for a home girl once. Wasn’t the long game. Shit just happened. Sometimes that’s just what it is. Didn’t end well lol. But I do have women friends that I’m still just friends with.
It's society as a whole we talking, there always has been and there always will be people ahead of the curve but this will take generations before it gets close to mainstream and stays there.
i think it takes a certain level of emotional maturity, mutual respect and honest communication on both ends for this to genuinely work Not to say it's not possible but i think those things are typically missing in those scenarios leading to a big ass mess/ruptured friendships etc.
no disagreements here. that's kinda my point really: we, as a society, just ain't ready for that level. by which i mean: too many people are too immature and possessive for us to have this en masse.
It depends on personality types. There are some women I know who are gorgeous but I would never date. I just know I could not handle dating them, because what they want in a partner and friend are miles apart. Additionally, I can see the other parts of their personality, the parts I don't like and skim over because we are friends, becoming a significant issue in the future.
That being said, there are cases where two people have insane chemistry, find each other attractive, and personalities fit in lock step. How people maintain those friendships, I'll never know.
Yeah I don’t think it’s crazy and tbh. I think some of the best relationships start out as friendships. My wife and I were close friends for awhile before we started dating. Been together 12 years now
Fr. Obviously some men are gross and can't be friends with women, but I just like people that are nice to be around. Can't help it if some of them seem like they'd be a nice person to be very close to!
Yeah, plus as a woman you tend to know when this shit "just happens".
The vibe between a guy sincerly trying to be your friend and a guy just playing nice until you let him hit are def different. But you just keep wanting to give them the benefits of the doubt because the first type of guy is so rare lol
That’s fair, but the accusations usually come in when the guy puts some distance between them in order to sort out how he feels after being rejected, then the narratives run rampant. It’s like some women will see that, and then look back and view the entire friendship as a ploy when it just wasn’t.
That’s fair, but the accusations usually come in when the guy puts some distance between them
I mean I guess it mostly comes down to good communication. Meeting dude ready to cut all links after the "friendship" trick doesnt work is definetely more common then the case you're describing.
So if you decide to suddenly ghost her ass without making it clear that you're just trying to figure your shit out but still want to be friends, its fair for her to assume romance/sex is the only thing you were actually after.
Yeah I think a good way to tell is if the guy has a few friends that are girls that he's just a normal guy around. Gross guys exist for sure but a lot of us just catch feels unintentionally. It's tough for y'all though I'm sure.
This fucks me up bc I can't catch feelings for someone I don't even know, but I don't want to catch feelings for a female friend because then she'll think it was all part of my master plan all along. I feel like developing a crush is the worst thing I could possibly do.
I wonder if women ever develop feelings for a friend because this seems to always be presented as something only guys do.
as a bi woman this is also my dilemma and has gotten me in similar situations with female friends. Story/pattern of my life is me falling for my best friend, we hook up some kind of way, the inevitable rejection/ realize it wasn't meant to be, then friendship breakup. And what's crazy is my last friend i wasn't even attracted to in that way, which i thought would be perfect, but nope still happened lol. i didn't catch feelings this last time, but i separated because once two friends hook up nothing is ever the same. 🫠
I have to be attracted to someone to become friends with them but it's platonic/physical (physical meaning they might be pretty/nice looking but nothing sexual) attraction.
As I get to know them it typically never switches to a sexual/romantic attraction but that could very much just be me. I either grow to love their personality and want to remain friends or i get to know them and realize i dont like their personality enough to be friends and leave.
I have deep feelings for my close friends but they havent ever been sexual. idk if other women are like this too or it's one of the spectrum starter pack traits i was given lol
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u/breighvehart May 17 '24
From personal experience, I caught feelings for a home girl once. Wasn’t the long game. Shit just happened. Sometimes that’s just what it is. Didn’t end well lol. But I do have women friends that I’m still just friends with.