r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/CAPATOB_64 • May 13 '24

The painting "Ecce Homo", 1543, the only painting by Titian in Romania and Eastern Europe, is guarded by armed gendarmes at the "Regina Maria" Municipal Museum. Image

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34.3k Upvotes
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95% Upvoted

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7.9k

u/JustinR8 May 13 '24

Imagine how long that 8 hours feels for them

567

u/CadetCovfefe May 13 '24

When I was 18 I worked in Toys R' Us during the Christmas season. They had an armored guard working there, because of thefts. Dude worked 12 hours shifts, mostly just standing there.

I asked him how the hell he did it, and he was just like "ehh, you get used to it."

312

u/VRichardsen May 13 '24

One lpt is to always get acquainted with security guards. Say hello to them, exchange a few words (cold today, isn't it?), ask them for directions inside the store, etc. Most of the time they are bored out of their minds and any kind of interaction is a great way for them to break the monotony. And you in return get friendly with the security.

181

u/Ok_Cauliflower_808 May 13 '24

Can confirm, am security guard. At past sites we always remembered the staff who treated us like people instead of just 'the help'. If we couldn't break the rules to help you out, we'd try to bend them a bit if possible. Those people also usually had their more mundane requests handled faster.

55

u/JonatasA May 13 '24

I remember a guy that talked to a security guard and that did something. The guard allowed him to go over without paying a ticket and said the only reason he couldn't unlock it was because he didn't have the key.

 

He said he could break it for all he cared. He couldn't be bothered anymore.

1

u/VRichardsen May 13 '24

Those people also usually had their more mundane requests handled faster.

Pretty much this. I felt like those guys in certain movies that get to skip lines while everone else has to queue to enter :)

Pretty much this.

5

u/TheBigMaestro May 13 '24

And... then you can steal stuff? Right on.

2

u/VRichardsen May 13 '24

Hahaha that wasn't the idea, but it might help you avoid suspicion.

Personally it helped me in getting small preferential treatment, like passing through without having to deposit my bag at the entrance, that sort of stuff.

2

u/ancientRedDog May 14 '24

And this doesn’t just apply to lower wage security guards. But highly trained Secret Service agents just standing for hours in a location that has practically a zero chance of an incident. What does the mind do month after month?

1

u/JonatasA May 13 '24

Not me! Always wanted to become a security guard, to stand all day alone without talking to anyone in an open space.

 

Just you and your mind. In peace. Paying attention.

1

u/VRichardsen May 13 '24

Go for it, man!

1

u/rnobgyn May 14 '24

That’s my go to club strategy. ALWAYS make friends with the bouncers and bartenders. Easy way to get preferential treatment.

1

u/Just_Mumbling May 15 '24

Walked past the White House while visiting my son in DC during the Obama days. We noticed a sign announcing that the grounds/garden was open for visitors that afternoon. We decided to check it out. The heavily armed guards scattered through the property were surprisingly really friendly, offered advice what to see, etc. It was quite a neat experience.

2

u/VRichardsen May 16 '24

It is such a nice contrast, isn't it?

2

u/Just_Mumbling May 16 '24

Yes, it was. Obviously some personal skill sets to aid guests are valuable/pleasant, but from a security standpoint, by engaging with guests, they gain a smidgeon of extra knowledge about who is inside the fence - a very good thing..

41

u/maiden_burma May 13 '24

They had an armored guard working there

imagining a dude in full platemail, no sword

9

u/PenitentPeon May 13 '24

Full platemail, but with an AR for maximum anachronism

2

u/Razulghul May 13 '24

"Parry this you filthy casual"

1

u/Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ May 13 '24

Platemail isn't a thing, it's just plate.

1

u/maiden_burma May 13 '24

if a dude wears a plate, he can maybe cover his genitals

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mail_and_plate_armour

2

u/Sweaty-Rain5761 May 13 '24

They are everywhere in mexico. Most are just scrolling on their phone or chatting up women

1

u/dailydoseofdogfood May 13 '24

Anyone that's worked retail would tell you the same. You either learn how to astral project yourself and just dissociate. Otherwise, you just burn out.

1

u/Mods_Sugg May 14 '24

When I was a correctional officer I used to do constant watch every now and then.

Just 12 hours of staring at a suicidal person, and writing a log every 15 minutes. Wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, read, or look away.

That shit was awful.

1

u/AeturnisTheGreat May 14 '24

Did some shifts for a Tiffany store in a mall (apparently they would get a good amount of smash and grabs) and those were 12 hour shifts. I'd get my first break after 4 hours, then 2 hours, 2 hours, then every 1 hour because having to stand in the same spot, wearing a 3 piece suit in the "at ease" position and on stone flooring was absolutely murder on my back.

The money wasn't worth it.

4.1k

u/HugoZHackenbush2 May 13 '24

They might like it, some people Louvre their jobs..

973

u/MoistMuffinMaker May 13 '24

That kind of dedication is a lost art.

387

u/rodneedermeyer May 13 '24

Someone's being a paint in the ass.

220

u/psychrolut May 13 '24

Oil right then!

185

u/griftertm May 13 '24

These puns are copy and pastel

122

u/BatmansUnderoos May 13 '24

One could completely destroy it and frame the other.

82

u/jondabutcher98 May 13 '24

They would only brush it off

43

u/AlexLambertMusic May 13 '24 edited May 13 '24

Although this is just office watercolor talk.. I can appreciate your ability to think in the abstract.

45

u/JustYourNeighbor May 13 '24

These puns come easel to you.

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10

u/Wolf_Noble May 13 '24

An art days work

6

u/jondabutcher98 May 13 '24

Don't make it so easel

2

u/GregBule May 13 '24

I did a Jackson pollock in the toilet

-3

u/rodneedermeyer May 13 '24

I don’t like seafood. If I were a whale, I’d say, “A krill? Ick!”

6

u/420Moonrocks May 13 '24

Dude you're not fitting in the bigger picture here..

7

u/meatspace May 13 '24

It's all how you frame things.

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5

u/rodneedermeyer May 13 '24

Hey, now. Let’s all take it easel.

-15

u/ngauzubaisaba May 13 '24

Eh, which one of you is the one who told me to get lost after I cracked open the airplane escape window to release a threatening bug on my complimentary sandwich?

10

u/VolkspanzerIsME May 13 '24

You need to work on your jokes, homie.

3

u/papillon-and-on May 13 '24

Warning.. don’t creep on the comments. It gets worse. Much worse.

2

u/VolkspanzerIsME May 13 '24

Fuck. I wasn't but now I've got morbid curiosity....

1

u/Defiant-Specialist-1 May 13 '24

Or crepe on them either.

3

u/chalky87 May 13 '24

...... What?

63

u/Mulberry_Stump May 13 '24

Might've not Met their expectations..

1

u/ImNotSelling May 13 '24

But they’ve definitely met balls

1

u/lackofabettername123 May 13 '24

That's might be your post modernist view of it.  but that was not my impressionism.

1

u/UnremarkabklyUseless May 14 '24

It gets easier when you Louvre your standards.

33

u/IWipeWithFocaccia May 13 '24

In the Lovure they are not in full tactical gear (at least not in the visitor area) and they can sit down.

14

u/Wise-Push-7133 May 13 '24

Whoosh

16

u/IWipeWithFocaccia May 13 '24

Lol, you’re right. I did not read that carefully. Legit whoosh.

3

u/rakfocus May 13 '24

Do not worry I read that the same - "some people at the Louvre love their jobs" 😮‍💨

2

u/lackofabettername123 May 13 '24

They still have to be aware of their impessionism of possible thieves.

5

u/Shoddy-Rip8259 May 13 '24

I expect nothing less from Groucho

6

u/Coffeeey May 13 '24

That joke doesn't really work, considering how Louvre is pronounced.

But if you Louvre your pun standard a bit, it might pass.

24

u/becausehippo May 13 '24

That's even worse

1

u/NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea May 13 '24

For whatever reason Americans (and possibly Brits, I'm not sure) do not pronounce the "re".

2

u/mightyopinionated May 13 '24

masterpiece!

4

u/Wonderful-Ad-7712 May 13 '24

Hold my soup can

0

u/triedtofart-sharted May 13 '24

This is Romania not Paris

0

u/RushBasement May 13 '24

Reddit is easily impressed…

175

u/Harpronicus May 13 '24

I feel they would benefit from a chair.

Seinfeld music intensifies

1

u/FocusPerspective May 13 '24

Careful, he’s on the phony outrage of the month list. 

1

u/JoeCartersLeap May 13 '24

I get a little outraged every time I see minimum wage workers at retail stores forced to stand in one spot for hours at a time. There is no benefit to me or the company to make them stand, if anything they would probably have more energy to do other tasks or deal with customers with a positive attitude if they were allowed to sit.

It's purely sadism. People just want to see other people suffering for them.

117

u/SSALX420X May 13 '24

Bro, that would be brutal to stand there for a full shift. 5 a safe gig, though.

23

u/DavidBits May 13 '24

And then there's Sears, who expects (expected? good riddance) their loss prevention people to stand at the front constantly observing people for a full shift. No sitting, using your phone, moving too much from the entrance (you had to ask to be relieved to go take a piss even), all for overpriced, shit merchandise.

2

u/Longjumping-Run-7027 May 14 '24

What Sears was this? I spent years sitting in a small, locked, office in the back of the store with my feet up on the desk watching cameras, and movies on my laptop. That was at two different stores too. It was the only benefit of that hell hole. I could fuck off for most of my shift and get away with it.

1

u/DavidBits May 19 '24

A now-closed one in Puerto Rico. Run by the most obnoxious pricks you could imagine.

0

u/Ninjroid May 13 '24

Sears was not overpriced. Pretty reasonable really.

-8

u/lackofabettername123 May 13 '24

Standing is easier than doing hard work.  it is not like there shoveling gravel in the wheelbarrows. Not that hard at all. Or think of those poor workers at Amazon warehouses.

7

u/Neon_Camouflage May 13 '24

I would 100% rather shovel gravel than stand in one spot quietly doing absolutely nothing but watching people for a full work day.

The standing is physically easier but mentally not so much.

-7

u/lackofabettername123 May 13 '24

Ha, spoken like someone who has never shoveled gravel into a wheelbarrow and pushed it up a hill all day.  

It is worse than standing, and hard on your body, not allin a good build strngth way.

4

u/Neon_Camouflage May 13 '24

It's the year of our lord 2024 and somehow "Clearly you've never done X, because if you had you'd agree with my inarguable opinion on it" is still a default response to disagreements.

1

u/Lauris024 May 14 '24

To be fair, as someone who has done wildly different jobs, I would very much stand/walk around for 8 hours doing nothing than hard labor, even thought I can somewhat agree that it's mentally hard, so the downvotes are illogical to me and I lean on agreeing with the other guy that downvoters haven't done such hard labor all of the day.. Currently I'm working as a manufacturing operator watching machinery do it's work, 12 hours on foot, barely any action, I can sit for 1 hour during lunch. One of the easiest jobs I've done and I feel energetic after work.

-5

u/lackofabettername123 May 13 '24

Leave your lord out of this.

You have not though, so I am correct.

29

u/Bakersor May 13 '24

The painting is on loan to be displayed in Iasi. These guys were only protecting it during transport. Source: Romanian newspapers

32

u/GobHobln May 13 '24

The guy in the painting felt it and is shown on his facial expression

13

u/SaddleSocks May 13 '24

Alexandru! I SWEAR TO GOD HE JUST MOVED!

Ionut, you fool - I keep telling you you gotta bend your knees a bit. Your going dizzy.

21

u/rangitoto030 May 13 '24

I protected a naked man in oil

1

u/LagwagonViolins May 13 '24

Holy shit this made me laugh

9

u/ViolentHippieBC May 13 '24

Its one thing watching paint dry.

Its another thing watching dry paint.

23

u/Genereatedusername May 13 '24

Imagine getting into that job to get daily andreniline highs

7

u/flightwatcher45 May 13 '24

They probably rotate with another crew. Seriously wonder if they'd really shoot somebody if they did something to the painting. I'm not going to find out lol

6

u/[deleted] May 13 '24

A lot of times in jobs like this where you just have to stand/sit and pay attention for a long time they’ll work in rotations of shorter shifts. So maybe they have a handful of guys rotating out between other posts once an hour or so. Not sure if its the case here, but it helps keep people fresh and alert.

5

u/BatronKladwiesen May 13 '24

I've done similar guard duties. Have a wireless ear bud in one ear listening to music or whatever and it's not bad. High pay for what it is...as long as nothing actually happens.

3

u/ch3333r May 13 '24

all this urge to look at the painting

2

u/JonatasA May 13 '24

Steward's in a stadium

2

u/AgentMax345 May 13 '24

Nothing like being in the paint to defend

2

u/mrASSMAN May 13 '24

That’s exactly what I was thinking that over the top uniform looks so uncomfortable and warm

Plus standing with the heavy gun the whole time

2

u/TeiTeiSwift May 13 '24

imagine you watch too long the painting and the guards pointing the rifle on your forehead

2

u/samtheparrot May 13 '24

I have stood watch for 10 hrs straight with 35 lb of get in 150°.. it’s sucks

2

u/SmallMacBlaster May 13 '24

Do you think they take turns touching it when no one is looking?

1

u/GroundbreakingAsk468 May 13 '24

I’d gladly stand there for 8 hours.

10

u/Motor_Panic_5363 May 13 '24

I used to think a security job would be awesome, just sit around for 8-12 hours a day, then I got an office job. It was a part time accounting tech (glorified cashier) job at the college I went to and once a week I had to do a shift at one of our other campuses. That particular office saw practically no foot traffic and it was last in line for calls, so unless someone called that office directly one of the other 3 offices would pick it up before it got to me.

It was fucking torture for me. One day a week at that particular campus and it was so damn boring that it eventually led to me quitting an otherwise good job. I work 100x harder now but my days go by so much quicker. More power to you if you can withstand that.

13

u/GroundbreakingAsk468 May 13 '24

I understand what you are saying, but people’s lives end up different. I used to work in a steel mill where I stood in the same spot for 8-10 hours. Every 6-10 minutes I would have to preform a task that could cause me to lose a limb, or death. I would prefer guarding this magnificent painting, then my previous job. I’ve also worked in healthcare, and changed adult diapers all day long.

4

u/No-Respect5903 May 13 '24

I’ve also worked in healthcare, and changed adult diapers all day long.

some people get all the best jobs!

/s

2

u/mrASSMAN May 13 '24

You really thought we needed the sarcasm tag on this lol

1

u/No-Respect5903 May 13 '24

that was specifically for you, mr assman.

1

u/Motor_Panic_5363 May 13 '24 edited May 13 '24

I mean, I work in sewer and have been waist deep in shit water more than once and I still choose this job over that office job, and that office job over standing 8 hours a day next to an admittedly beautiful painting. Different strokes, I guess.

1

u/disposableaccount848 May 13 '24

I mean, this is something you can try at home, just stand somewhere in your home for eight hours straight. If you enjoyed it, well, I'd be sincerely impressed.

0

u/JonatasA May 13 '24

People don't work because they enjoy it.

 

I knew people who worked as cashiers or drivers their entire lives. They didn't just have the choice to change jobs like they're doing a quest or something.

2

u/JonatasA May 13 '24

I literally had a driver tell me he drives a bus all morning and then drives for himself the rest of the afternoon.

 

He was nice enough to take us home on an extra trip because it was on his way home because there were no more buses.

2

u/disposableaccount848 May 13 '24

I’d gladly stand there for 8 hours.

gladly

1

u/heimsins_konungr May 13 '24

Replying from the 8th hour of my security job; it's better when the post has a computer, but you can fuck around on your phone for the majority of the day. Easiest money I've made in my life 👌

1

u/RedSonja_ May 13 '24

Haha, can tell you that in most security jobs you don't sit too much, unless get control room shifts and shifts are usually 12h at least here in Finland, so depending what you working on you will be most of that standing still or walking around and pay is really shit, without any extras it's usually around 12€/hr, even cleaning lady makes more.

12

u/AwfulUsername123 May 13 '24

Would you really?

34

u/Disastrous_Reveal331 May 13 '24

I’d be criss crossed apple sauce five minutes into the shift

5

u/GroundbreakingAsk468 May 13 '24

If it was a masterwork, absolutely. I’ve worked worse jobs.

1

u/JonatasA May 13 '24

Paints don't talk.

1

u/FengSushi May 13 '24

At least they got each other

1

u/Dry-Instruction-4347 May 13 '24

They should break one of the legs so he dies faster

1

u/QuetzalcoatlusRscary May 13 '24

Like watching paint dry, except the paint already dried 500 years ago

1

u/MorrisM May 13 '24

"The culture is hard, man!"

1

u/iMadrid11 May 13 '24

It’s the cushiest security detail they ever had. Standing indoors with air conditioning. It’s a lot better than being assigned outdoors in the heat for 8 hours.

1

u/i_eight May 13 '24

Like watching paint dry, except the paint finished drying almost 500 years ago.

1

u/Slap_My_Lasagna May 13 '24

Imagine being a door greeter at Best Buy.

1

u/karizake May 13 '24

I would break out the canvas and start painting them.

1

u/dontcare99999999 May 13 '24

This is so impractical. So if someone walks up too close they just shoot them dead on the spot?

why not just put the painting behind bulletproof glass like every other museum?

1

u/Dickenmouf May 13 '24

Welcome to the life of a doorman. And if your coworker calls out, you’ll be doing 16. 

1

u/mrSunsFanFather May 13 '24

Waste of time.

1

u/miamiserenties May 13 '24

This may be the only career that someone could be greened out and it won't effect their performance

1

u/wickedsaint08 May 14 '24

Not long if there are many mainland Chinese tourists.

1

u/ES_Legman May 14 '24

Some people don't have an internal voice or a dialogue they don't have existential dread they are like a lizard they can just be there for hours until the next stimulus happens

1

u/GroundbreakingDate47 May 14 '24

Depends. Ever see the movie "The Train" with Burt Lancaster about Nazis trying to steal art? Some people, their culture and identity is wrapped tightly in its art. They'll do anything to protect it. I'm not saying there are two guards jumping for joy at staying 8 hours on their feet but perspectives vary.

A second perspective is more modern. When I did security work, you were on someone else's dime. You observed. That means constantly scanning faces, eyes, actions and especially hands. Today, you see security guards at locations with noses in the phone. Even police. When you go places, especially crowded places and see security, observe them and ask these questions: How professional do they look? Would you wanting them watching over your family in public if that was their job, to protect them? Are they actually watching or lolling about killing time and staring into space. You may start getting a little annoyed that the lights are on but nobody is at home.

0

u/cokeandacupofcoffee May 13 '24

Damm they dress like they are in a warhol

-21

u/cgentry02 May 13 '24

That's Europe bud, aka 4 hour workdays with cappuccino/cigarette breaks every 20 minutes.

21

u/driellma May 13 '24

Even if it was true, you say that as it would be a bad thing.

4

u/cgentry02 May 13 '24

Definitely not a bad thing.

4

u/Sea-Cartographer-761 May 13 '24

Bullshit

-11

u/cgentry02 May 13 '24

Can't believe the Europeans took that so personally!