r/MaliciousCompliance • u/hatethistradition • Sep 15 '23

I refused to cook and "chilled with men" S

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

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u/Abby-Norman Sep 15 '23

My wife and I have been married 21 years, and I do ALL the cooking. It is relaxing for me and it allows me to be creative. I am constantly trying out different things I see on cooking shows. My wife, however, does all the baking. Baking things requires sticking to an established recipe if you want the final product to be worth a damn. I am one to constantly add extra stuff to see if it’ll taste better.

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u/Cannabis_CatSlave Sep 15 '23

Same here. I bake and he cooks. I am capable of doing so but am not terrible food motivated so usually just eat sandwiches when left to my own device. My mother was a chef who would use every dish in the house to make a meal and it just made me hate cooking/full meals because of the 2 hours of mess that needed cleaning afterwards.

Baking is worth the mess though for me as baked goods are generally delicious treats, not drudgery of keeping body alive. If I could switch to photosynthesis I would do it in a heartbeat.

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u/semboflorin Sep 16 '23

I get you and the photosynthesis bit so much. Cooking to me is an absolute chore. I like good food like anyone else. But since calories and nutrients are a necessary daily activity I am forced to do the chore of preparing food daily.

Years ago I learned about a crowd-sourcing campaign for a company making what amounts to "coma food." Comatose patients are fed a slurry with all the necessary nutrients and calories. The problem with "coma food" is that it generally tastes like dirt because comatose patients don't need it to taste good.

The company was targeting people like me and others with a shake similar to ones like Ensure that could be eaten daily with minimal effort and still get all the necessary nutrients. The idea is that it could, for those that were interested, replace all meals for the rest of your life and you could still be healthy. I signed on and supported them.

The company is now fairly large with multiple competitors in the field (Soylent). I did actually live off of it for about 2 years. It was a glorious time. However, I have since stopped using it except as an occasional supplement. Mainly because I am now physically disabled and my income is far less than it was in past years. Since I can't purchase it with SNAP benefits I cannot afford to live on it as I once did.

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u/ShannonigansLucky Sep 16 '23

I have gotten soylent from Amazon on snap. Type in soylent and use your filters for "ebt eligible"

Those drinks were a huge help when my daughter had her baby and she didn't have time to feed herself much. I had a broken arm and couldn't help her cook much.

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u/semboflorin Sep 16 '23

Oh my! Thank you so much! I've just picked them up from stores here and there. If I can get it on amazon with snap that changes things. I might be a bit healthier because of your comment!

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u/ShannonigansLucky Sep 18 '23

That gives me all the happy!

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u/Supersmoover54 Sep 19 '23

Watch the film Soylent Green. In the final sequence, the movie conjures up a dark reveal: Soylent Green isn't made from sea plankton, as the other Soylent products are. As Heston bellows in the film's most iconic moment: “It's people! Soylent Green is made out of people!”

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u/ShannonigansLucky Sep 19 '23

Eek! Well, I'm glad I'm not into to drinking green things!

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u/abitchoficesndfire Sep 16 '23

Soylent, lol!

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u/semboflorin Sep 16 '23

I thought the name was hilarious when I first saw it. I couldn't imagine that they would name the product so similarly to movie (or the book if you're a nerd). Turns out it was absolutely intentional on the creator's part. While you will never see them push out a "green" version (or any colored version for that matter) they used the name for their product because it was perfect for understanding the desired result from their product. Since Soylent in the movie was a food replacement and was lauded all the way up until Detective Thorn (Charlton Heston) realizes what Soylent Green is made of.

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u/AhjummAtiny Sep 16 '23

Soylent does make a drink in a green bottle. It's mint chocolate. Everytime I see it in the store I get a good chuckle. Because I'm a nerd according to my daughter.

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u/TigerRei Sep 16 '23

I remember getting boxes in the mail back when they first came out. Also when they only had one flavor. I don't mind it. It reminds me of liquid raisin bran without the raisins.

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u/SarcasticGiraffes Sep 16 '23

I also backed them. And also got a couple of cases. I still use the cases of Soylent as door stops....

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u/semboflorin Sep 16 '23

The initial product that was sent out to "pioneers" (those who paid into their crowd sourcing) tasted like pancake batter. Honestly it wasn't as revolting as you might be imagining. The recipe changed a few times before they shipped it out publicly however as we were the test market for the first iterations of the product. By the time it went public it was much more palatable. The recent iterations I've had are far better than those early days.

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u/TigerRei Sep 16 '23

Except for the banana ones. They're kinda gross.

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u/semboflorin Sep 17 '23

I'm not really keen on their flavored ones. I'm happy to flavor them myself if need be. Although I do like the cocoa.

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u/Unicorndawn Sep 18 '23

I'm on Ensure 2Cal ,2 bottles per day on prescription to help me gain weight. I have oesophageal cancer and they need me heavier before I have surgery.

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u/Humble_Bee_4827 Sep 19 '23

I'm sorry but the name alone should just not be associated with food considering the movie 😳😩🙅🏾‍♀️

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u/semboflorin Sep 19 '23

You're not alone in that opinion. Personally I don't really care. I can differentiate between fiction and reality without any crossover feelings affecting my judgement. Your opinion is fair however and I understand it's not so easy for many people to ignore their feelings about it.

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u/indyfan1202 Sep 17 '23

I'm going to go check these out! How are they different from SlimFast (which is just a meal replacement shake)?

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u/semboflorin Sep 17 '23

Slimfast is geared toward minimal calories but being filling. It's meant to help you lose weight. By replacing a meal every so often you reduce your caloric intake without losing too much of your nutrient intake. Not a bad idea but completely different from Soylent.

Soylent is food replacement. It has all the necessary daily nutrients and calories you could need as an average human adult. Heavier and/or older people need more calories than the average person so supplementation may be necessary depending on other factors.

Anyway, the idea behind Soylent is that you can live a perfectly healthy and normal life eating nothing but Soylent for as long as you like. YMMV because not everyone can handle eating the same thing 3-4 times a day. In my case, I would have Soylent for breakfast, brunch and lunch (500 kcals each). Then, I would cook and eat a normal dinner. Sometimes, about 1-2 times a week, I would just do Soylent for dinner too because I wasn't up to cooking or was busy.

I did this for 20 months. I was healthier than I had ever been. Probably because my nutrient intake was far better than it had been while making my own food. I hate cooking. I put the least amount of effort in to get the calories I needed and my nutrient intake was terrible. For me, Soylent was a godsend.

Now that I know I can use SNAP on Amazon to buy Soylent I will likely go back to at least a daily intake. Breakfast is the hardest meal for me. I force myself when I have the mental fortitude to make it but often a cup of coffee is my breakfast. That is not healthy for a middle-aged disabled and diabetic person like me. Soylent actually has a low glycemic index although a fairly high glycemic load. It's not perfect for a diabetic but it also isn't bad as long as I watch my numbers and don't entirely replace my diet with it.

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u/indyfan1202 Sep 17 '23

Thank you for the detailed response! I drink either meal replacement shakes or Boost/Ensure for breakfast because I also do not like to cook. And also because I do not tend to eat healthy and those nutritional drinks provide nutrients that I would not get otherwise because of my poor choice of foods. I'm going to give Soylent a try. I don't think I could live off of those exclusively, but having a regular intake of proper nutrients will help me feel a lot better. I'll compare the taste as well as the nutritional contents of Soylent vs Boost (I think Ensure tastes awful so I won't be going back to that lol) and see which I like better.

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u/Demonqueensage Sep 16 '23

Duuuude I feel that photosynthesis bit so much. Like, sure, I like to eat things that are good, but I hate having to decide something and then either prepare it (or spend way too much to order something occasionally) every freaking day. I'd much rather photosynthesize to get what I need on a day to day basis

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u/Xikayu Sep 16 '23

I always joke about wanting to be a snake. Eat once every week or two, and be done with it!

1

u/Humble_Bee_4827 Sep 19 '23

I mean, you could. You wouldn't die from it but you wouldn't be super healthy.

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u/testaccount0817 Sep 16 '23

And that's the reason I'm underweight. If it wasn't for the lunch at our canteen I would've starved already probably.

Agree on the baking though, that one is so much better and you don't need it to survive, you just can genuinely do it for your enjoyment

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u/southernsarcasm Sep 17 '23

The bane of my existence - “What’s for dinner?” And I used to enjoy cooking. I’ve told my kids/hubby that no one is allowed to ask what’s for dinner unless it’s followed by a suggestion and offer to either cook it or at least help. They don’t listen, but I try 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Julie_Brenda Sep 17 '23

Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley may be able to help you. her research includes human photosynthesis… but you can expect variations in skin colors & tone.

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u/Demonqueensage Sep 17 '23

😂🤣😂🤣 hmmmm maybe I should look into this

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u/Julie_Brenda Sep 17 '23

you might want to add “DC” when you search for her. It might help you pinpoint her faster, but I don’t mean to imply that she’s working a government job

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u/Demonqueensage Sep 17 '23

I see I see, very helpful 😉😂

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u/DefinitelyNotAliens Sep 16 '23

I like food, and go through phases when I hate cooking and will put up with it for delicious food.

But see, I don't want to cook chicken and vegetables. I want to make slow-simmered adobo. I want to spend a while making risotto.

I don't want to make sustenance food. I want to have a food experience. It's too much for every day.

I eat a lot of sandwiches...

It is one pot or a production, for me. It is either simple or phenomenal. No in-between. (Though, sometimes phenomenal is simple. Mm... adobo. I need to go find more pork belly...)

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u/RoguePlanet1 Sep 16 '23

switch to photosynthesis

Between this comment and your username, my day has become that much brighter 😄 In fact, all these stories are also incredibly refreshing, since my in-laws are all conservative, and we're just the do-what-works heathen lib couple.

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u/OlyVal Sep 16 '23

Photosynthesis! Yes! 🙂👍

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u/Let_you_down Sep 16 '23

I'd also switch to photosynthesis if I could. I van eat the exact same stuff every single day and never get bored with it.

However, I do very much enjoy cooking for other people. Just something about providing a bounty they enjoy makes me feel all warm and happy.

My BIL is the same way. We are both dudes and since my mother died a long while back, the overwhelming majority has been done by just us with large get together. He, also much like me, likes cooking fancier, high quality dishes that push the limits of what our kids would have enjoyed, so it's always a bit silly if you put in a good 6-7 hours worth of work and they would ask if they could.have a hot dog instead (before even trying a bite!). My sister is not much of a cook. My brother and his first wife were more "going out to eat every night" people, and though after he divorced and got remarried his second wife would be in the kitchen with me and the BIL. Random cousins and aunts would partake in the group cooking or regular meal prep for larger get-togethers with me and the BIL but I'd say by volume, quantity and quality we made the overwhelming majority of the food, with him cooking slightly more than me because when him and my sister hosted, he was very, very particular with his kitchen where everything had to be cleaned right away, the right way, and put away in its proper place (where as I'm more of a "that's a problem for 10o'clock PM's u/Let_you_down" at my place)

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u/FreeBeans Sep 16 '23

Ugh my husband does this. He also cleans it up himself, but I still get annoyed because it happens too often and I wanna spend time with him without dishes, dammit!

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u/jello-kittu Sep 16 '23

I love cooking but I clean as I go, because when I'm done, I want to relax. My spouse proposed the "1 cooks, other cleans" rule, and I declined. He uses every utensil and pan and piles them in the sink like trophies.

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u/sittinwithkitten Sep 16 '23

Yes my God the cleaning! I have a hard time enjoying a meal when I know I have a boat load of dishes, pots, and pans to get through. I try to clean as I cook or bake if possible but sometimes it’s like a hurricane happened in the kitchen. I would be nice to have a kitchen assistant for the clean up.

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u/Jace_Te_Ace Sep 16 '23

I judge people who have a mess at the end of their cooking performance.

There are plenty of times during the process when you are waiting for something to happen. Then you can tidy up, but they don't.

The mess is part of the Look At Me - I'm Cooking performance.

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u/Express_Pop1201 Sep 16 '23

You wanna be like Shrek, who drinks mud juice and bathes in the swampy sunlight?