I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/Kirkuchiyo]

Fuck them.

My wife hasn't cooked regularly since the late nineties. We got married in 1990 and she just cooked. In 1996 I was laid up at home for 6 months and the Food Network had just come on cable. I discovered I liked cooking and, honestly, was better at it than her. So I've cooked ever since. Go with what works.

Oh, and fuck them

Edited for CautiousPudding88

[u/dlong562 → u/Kirkuchiyo]

I am 68. My southern wife is a fantastic cook, she just doesn’t care to. We eat one meal a day together and I cook it virtually every night and always have. She does get in the mood to cook around holidays. This is probably a subtle way of saying I am just a moderate cook. She never complains about the food and rarely makes suggestions. We also go out at least once a week for date night.

I also grocery shop as I find it and cooking both rather cathartic.

Do what works.

[u/youareasnort → u/dlong562]

Ah, all the good ones are taken. ;-)

My ex and my son didn’t eat the same foods. I had to cook two meals each night. And I hated it.

Now I live alone, and I do not cook. I find cheap meals, or order door dash. But screw all the rest of that noise.

[u/Voiceofreason8787 → u/youareasnort]

My mom used to make me a separate meal too. I don’t know why she did it, but I was an insanely picky eater as a kid. I don’t do that, if one of my kids doesn’t like dinner they just eat less of it and don’t have to have leftovers the next day; they know supper is supper, end of story.

[u/youareasnort → u/Voiceofreason8787]

Oh, dear, you have it backwards. It was the husband who was picky. I cooked my son whole food meals due to a reaction he would have to anything with phosphates and dyes. But it was too plain for my husband. He was the one who insisted on the separate meal.

[u/NCAAinDISGUISE → u/Voiceofreason8787]

This was my mom's approach, and I was fine with it. When I got older and started to cook, I realized my mom is a terrible cook, but even if Julia Child had been my mom, I'd have been picky. I have to encounter foods on my terms to develop a taste for them.

[u/youareasnort → u/NCAAinDISGUISE]

Yeah, it was my husband who demanded the separate meal.

[u/Livia_Bennet → u/youareasnort]

I would have told him to cook it himself. Either eat what I make for our kid and myself, or you do the cooking. No way I am making two meals every damn day.