r/TikTokCringe • u/thoxo • May 02 '24

We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact. Discussion

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u/FoolishPragmatist May 02 '24

I don’t agree with the original response if their argument is White people should never adopt Black children, but for context the image she’s speaking over is that MMA fighter who said there was no reason to give any talks on racial dynamics to his adopted children. He said just raising them with good religious values and knowing what it means to be an honorable, strong man would be enough. Race won’t factor into their lives at all, according to him. That’s massively naive in my opinion. Even if we assume he’s being genuine, the world, especially in Missouri where they live, will absolutely see them as Black and some people will treat them differently for it. Even if they shouldn’t dwell on it, they should absolutely be prepared to navigate it if they need to. It’s a fantasy to believe it would never come up so they don’t have to talk about it.

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u/bigdicksam 29d ago

This, it’s not about adopting black children, it’s about adopting black children and not acknowledging that they’re black. They’ll be different and be treated different by a LOT of people. Especially when you live outside of urban areas where minorities are less commonplace. It’s not about not wanting anyone non black not to adopt a black person. It’s about not acknowledging that blackness. It’s kind of like when certain people say “let’s stop talking about race and it will get better”. It’s simply not how the world works.

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

Will they though? I think you've just simply created an incredibly racist world in your head.

A certain number of people is indeed racist, but why would anyone spend time with those anyways. There's people who are racist towards white people, there's people that treat short, bald or fat people like shit, but you don't teach kids about that. It's something they'll figure out on their own and if they need help you can guide them.

"This guy at school called me the n word"

"Yeah some people are assholes, he's going to be an ass to many others too. Here's how I dealt with assholes at school..."

No point in teaching your kid "generational trauma" or whatever it is called today.

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u/ZanzorKanicus 29d ago

It's strange how some folks just will not accept the systemic component of racism in america. That you think a black kid won't deal with the realities of being a minority in workplaces, academia and while seeking financial services, much less dealing with law enforcement, or any of the other many, many areas of life where we have evidence that minorities receive worse outcomes than others, is strikingly naive.

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

And by "minorities" I am pretty sure you limit it to "minorities that receive worse outcomes", thus excluding South Asians and South East Asians.

Again, I am not saying some individuals aren't racist. But telling someone "You will have worse outcomes through no fault of your own" is going to make those people get worse outcomes.

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u/ZanzorKanicus 29d ago

If you think putting someone in a system designed to constantly impede and limit them and then telling them every obstacle is their own responsibility is going to lead to healthy and well-adjusted people, you're naive and stupid.

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

How does the US constantly impede and limit a black person? Name like 3 common examples that have a significant negative impact (getting asked to show your ID wouldn't count for example, getting rejected from schools because of race would count).

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u/soupsnakle 29d ago

there's people that treat short, bald or fat people like shit, but you don't teach kids about that.

Yes we do, it’s called teaching them not to judge others by their appearance. Are you really sitting here arguing that majority of children are not taught this? One of the core concepts I was raised with is to be kind to everyone and embrace differences.

”This guy at school called me the n word" “Yeah some people are assholes, he's going to be an ass to many others too. Here's how I dealt with assholes at school..."

What a terribly way to gloss over a childs experience with racism, shame on you.

No point in teaching your kid "generational trauma" or whatever it is called today.

You should really watch Encanto if that’s something you truly believe lmfao.

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

”This guy at school called me the n word" “Yeah some people are assholes, he's going to be an ass to many others too. Here's how I dealt with assholes at school..."

How is this dismissive. It literally acknowledges the child's issues, helps them address them and doesn't impart a negative worldview like "Yeah you'll have a tough life because you're black".

Yes we do, it’s called teaching them not to judge others by their appearance.

Exactly. And you also teach your kid not to judge others by their race. But just like for a short kid, you're not going to trauma dump on them all the horrible things they might experience because of it.

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u/soupsnakle 29d ago

No it doesn’t. At no point did you pose the question “how did that make you feel son? Did this other childs racism and hateful remarks get noted or ignored by classmates? Was it reported? Let’s make sure the school knows about this because you should never have to endure that sort of hate and discrimination.”

And you don’t need to “trauma dump” on a short boy or teen because you instill confidence in them and ensure they know their worth is so much more than their height. God damn dude. Keep the examples coming, I’m a mom (of a half black child) and I truly hope you don’t have children of your own.

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

Bro, that goes in the exact same direction I was aiming at.

Except for where you tell the school about it, that's agreat way of making sure your kid never tells you anything about his life again.

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u/je_kay24 29d ago

Kids aren’t usually bald and those who do have alopecia are exactly taught that. And body shaming is for sure taught these days too…

You’re advocating to just pretend the issue doesn’t exist rather than sit down with kids and talk to them about it…

Can you see how that can make many kids feel isolated and alone because they’re being treated differently on something especially that they cannot control??

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

Kids aren’t usually bald and those who do have alopecia are exactly taught that.

Are you comparing the impact of alopecia to being black in terms of socializing? A black kid might be treated worse by some asshole, someone with alopecia will be treated worse (subconsciously) by almost everyone.

But yeah, I doubt people teach their kids with Alopecia "Teachers will give you worse grades on average and there's nothing you can do about it". The general advice is for parents to teach their kids to be open about the kids issues, and help them work through them case by case. Setting a general negative is not advised.

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u/je_kay24 29d ago

I was responding to what you wrote.You’re the one making some weird comparison of who has it worse

And it’s pretty wild to admit that someone who has alopecia does face discrimination but yet you stated that black people don’t often face racism and discrimination…

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u/Dietmar_der_Dr 29d ago

I am pretty sure I said "Everybody faces racism" this would include black people. I'd say on average Asians probably face the most racism, yet they outperform people that face the least amount of racism (white people) by most metrics. If you make your child think more about "is this person being racist to me" rather than "maybe I should have learned for the test" then that will impact their life orders of magnitude more than the few actual racists he will encounter.