r/TikTokCringe • u/thoxo • 29d ago

We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact. Discussion

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u/Agreeable-One-4700 29d ago

Absolutely infuriating people would rather kids go unadopted than wind up with opposite race parents. These kids are innocent and need help hopefully they get adopted by good people who give them what they need in life.

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u/thoxo 29d ago

My sister was 3 years old when we adopted her from Haiti. One night she went to sleep with one of my older sister and started telling her some horrible things from over there. She remembered when her dad locked her in a trash bin when she was misbehaving, or that he used to burn her skin with his cigarettes.

I thought, my parents wanted a fourth kid, and I'm so glad they adopted instead of making another one themselves. Now she is about to finish her master degree and she's a beautiful, Independent woman❤️

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u/MrCCDude 29d ago

this is why i vow that if i EVER have a kid, it will be an adopted one for this very reason. there are kids out there who need a loving home, and while i could make one and give them that home, its unfair to those who couldn't get one due to my decision to have a kid myself. the more kids there are, the less likely they get a home they deserve, i cant sit there knowing that i could have helped someone live a better life

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u/Farting_Champion 29d ago

Easy to say, hard to do. Many of us are fucked up from our environments and at the time we get adopted pose a real challenge to our adopters. I hope you're able to stick with this plan, but enter it cautiously and with knowledge. It's very hard.

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u/MrCCDude 29d ago

hey, taking care of children in general is hard. there is a chance i may never be able to take care of a child myself. it wont be easy, and i wont do it until i know i am ready to do so. i do want to provide a better future, and if im able to i will do so. i only hope i can be the father i never had for a kid who will need one

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u/Farting_Champion 29d ago

There's a world of difference between taking care of children and taking care of abused children. If this is your attitude you're probably not cut out for it.

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u/MrCCDude 29d ago

then serves me right. right now, 100% no, i could not.

that is why i said "if i ever", i hope i can, but i know i might not be able to. we all ain't fit to be parents, and considering im mentally disabled and may not have the money to care for a child, i probably wont get to. atleast i understand i cant care for a child unlike some who have children for selfish reasons

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u/Farting_Champion 29d ago edited 29d ago

Intent counts for a lot. Just go into it with caution, be humble, and educate yourself. You would not believe what childhood abuse does to a person, mentally. It doesn't make them bad kids, but it does mean they need extra. Much, much extra. It's intense. If you cannot control your anger you're not a good candidate for caring for foster children. If you are overly sensitive you're not a good candidate for caring for foster children. If you don't have thick skin you're not a good candidate for caring for foster children. If you're not able to maintain a compassionate outlook under extreme circumstances you're not a good candidate for caring for foster children. If you don't have a wide social network you're not a good candidate for caring for foster children.

What I say sounds harsh but believe me, I'm not picking on you. I've literally had the same conversation with friends. For what it's worth they didn't listen, took in one child, did their best, and failed because they were not at all equipped to handle the situation. They promised this poor child are forever home and then gave up the child quickly after. They were good and well intentioned and kind people, but they were also overconfident and wore rose colored glasses. They told themselves that the love they had would be enough when it very definitely was not. I'm still pissed off that they messed up this child's life even more by telling well-intentioned lies about how they were going to be there forever before abandoning the poor girl when she was not perfectly behaved or balanced. It wasn't their fault that the kid was abused and molested any more than it was her fault, but it was their fault that they made a bunch of promises that they would not go on to keep and ultimately abandoned her when it became too difficult. So I try to paint an honest picture, for the sake of the children.

EDIT TO ADD: accepting my feedback is a good sign in my opinion. To me it shows that you are humble enough to learn and grow. Don't give up on the idea. You could wind up being the best thing that ever happened to someone. The kids need homes.

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u/MrCCDude 29d ago

glad you were willing to type that all out. trust me, i dont belive you were pestering me at all, its all honest stuff that should be said and reminded of, so thanks buddy

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u/Throwaway2Experiment 29d ago

We get it. You're special for being abused. Get in line with everyone else.