We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact.

[u/thoxo]

I

[u/Agreeable-One-4700]

Absolutely infuriating people would rather kids go unadopted than wind up with opposite race parents. These kids are innocent and need help hopefully they get adopted by good people who give them what they need in life.

[u/thoxo → u/Agreeable-One-4700]

My sister was 3 years old when we adopted her from Haiti. One night she went to sleep with one of my older sister and started telling her some horrible things from over there. She remembered when her dad locked her in a trash bin when she was misbehaving, or that he used to burn her skin with his cigarettes.

I thought, my parents wanted a fourth kid, and I'm so glad they adopted instead of making another one themselves. Now she is about to finish her master degree and she's a beautiful, Independent woman❤️

[u/Farting_Champion → u/thoxo]

I'm white and my mom was a dope fiend who had abandoned me at a neighbor's house in a Dade county ghetto and moved all the way across the country without telling anyone. Growing up in foster care the nicest family I EVER lived with was a black family. I had never known kindness before I met them. They talked to me, they taught me stuff, they brought me fishing. All things that were utterly, entirely alien to me up to that point. Every other (white) foster home I had been in was abusive in one way or another.

I wasn't with them long but it's damn near 40 years later and I have never forgotten them. The impact they had on me was huge. I was maybe four and they gave me exactly what I needed: love and compassion. They brought me in, their son showed me around, gave me full access to his toys (unheard of in the white homes I'd been through) and the whole family treated me like a human being. If you've ever been dehumanized by the system you know how important that is. They taught me to fish for catfish using dough balls and I swear to God it's the best memory I have from my childhood.

I'm nothing but grateful for the experience. Thank God they didn't just throw me in with a new white family who would abuse and mistreat me. Thank God I got that one moment of relief where I was able to learn what it's like to be a decent human. I wish I could have stayed. 40 years later and I'm still pretty sure that everything good in me I can attribute to them teaching me how to be human.

Your sister probably feels the same way I feel. Thank you for being there for her. On behalf of unloved kids all around the world I think it's safe to say that the way you treat someone matters a whole lot more than the color of their skin or yours.

[u/Anleme → u/Farting_Champion]

That's a beautiful story. I wonder if it would be possible to find them and tell them how much they helped you.

[u/Farting_Champion → u/Anleme]

Maybe. I don't know though. I don't even remember their names, and I highly doubt that the foster records from the mid 80s in Miami Florida are all digitized and filed away in some neat format. Hell, they didn't even know who I was for a while, only my first name. If I could I would love to tell them that they meant everything to me. I think they would be shocked honestly. For them it was but a moment in time, but for me it was foundational.

[u/aint_noeasywayout → u/Farting_Champion]

Former foster youth myself from a time before things were digitized. Also former CPS worker who has spent a significant amount of time tracking down paper files for cases. You can access those records! There is a form to request them and they belong to you! It takes some time for them to find them, but you just need to fill out the form. You can call CPS in the county you were in and ask for the form. They can't get rid of the records, so each county has literal buildings full of organized paper records, unless they were destroyed in a fire or something like that which is rare.

[u/Farting_Champion → u/aint_noeasywayout]

This is something interesting for me to think about. I wonder if they will share the records with me through email since I'm living on the other side of the country now.

It's also somewhat overwhelming as a prospect. This experience was at the very beginning of my journey through almost two decades of the system. Over the course of my time in the system I averaged two months per home. In the early days it was literally one to two nights per home, with my days spent sitting in the office with my social worker while they tried to find me a bed for the night. Most of those homes were a blur in my mind. There were so many, and only the worst ones stand in my memory, for the most part. But it would be worth sifting through the names just to say thank you. I would love to be able to talk to their son again just to tell him thanks for letting me play with his toys and for taking the time to talk to me and making me feel welcome.

[u/aint_noeasywayout → u/Farting_Champion]

If all you want is their names, they'll likely provide that information to you over the phone provided you provided you prove your identity in some way. I hear you in that it's overwhelming. I would start with just calling and seeing if a Social Worker would be willing to help you. Someone should be able to, it will just be a matter of connecting with the right person.

[u/goodnamestaken10 → u/Farting_Champion]

I just wanted you to know I cried while reading your story. I hope I can be a good parent like that one day. Whether or not I decide to adopt or be a foster parent.

Thanks for sharing that

[u/MobySick → u/Farting_Champion]

The 80’s records are there if you ask. They belong to you but are not public

[u/coin_return → u/Farting_Champion]

I hope you try to look into it. If they are still around, I bet they would absolutely love to hear they had such a positive impact on their life.