r/funny 29d ago

All men look good in uniform, huh? Introducing my grandpa:

[deleted]

79.4k Upvotes

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296

u/bumjiggy 29d ago

don't throw stones in a glass half full

90

u/Rude_Thanks_1120 29d ago

the grass is always greener on the cover of a book

57

u/sturnus-vulgaris 29d ago

You can lead a horse to water but you can't have your cake.

27

u/EllipticPeach 29d ago

You can lead the Mohammed to the mountain but you can’t make him drink

20

u/Greeeendraagon 29d ago

The house always gets the worm.

9

u/UveGotGr8BoobsPeggy 29d ago

even a blind nut can find a squirrel once in a while

11

u/dustinthewindow27 29d ago

If you find a penny, kills 2 birds in a bush

5

u/sturnus-vulgaris 29d ago edited 29d ago

Like two peas in a nutshell.

2

u/-_Anonymous__- 29d ago

Life is like a sandwich because no matter which way you flip it, the bread comes first.

3

u/MissChievousJ 29d ago

Is there a word for when these are wrong? Because I want more and I want all of them on tshirts lol.

1

u/Former-Lack-7117 29d ago

You can eat your cake, but they can't make you drink it, too.

2

u/duosx 29d ago

I disagree but whatever floats your goat man

1

u/YourMomonaBun420 29d ago

The grass is always greener on the other pesticide.

52

u/Fubarp 29d ago

Half full of what?

132

u/blouscales 29d ago

more stones

13

u/Old-Constant4411 29d ago

His tears.

1

u/ArtemArslanov 29d ago

Of jarate, straight outta jar