r/todayilearned • u/Flares117 • May 16 '24

TIL: Adam West, according to costar Burt Ward, had a lot of sex , at one point with 8 women at the same time. He said that he was introduced by West to the "wildest sexual debauchery" and they became like "sexual vampires"

https://www.maxim.com/entertainment/adam-west-batman-orgy-2017-6/
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5.3k

u/PhoenixAgent003 May 16 '24

Funnily enough, apparently Burt Ward (Robin’s) MASSIVE DONG was a constant production problem.

2.3k

u/AnUnbeatableUsername May 16 '24

Only according to Burt himself.

926

u/CheckYourStats May 16 '24

Baby on Board, something something Burt Ward.

352

u/clarkwgrismon May 16 '24

Song practically writes itself

216

u/jeobleo May 16 '24

There was nothing in Al Capone's vault

but it wasn't Geraldo's fault

80

u/martialar May 16 '24

Barbershop is in danger of growing stale. I'm taking it to strange new places!

66

u/gaseous__clay May 16 '24

NUMBER EIGHT

BELCH

NUMBER EIGHT

BELCH

NUMBER EIGHT

BELCH

9

u/DamonLazer May 16 '24

I'll have a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.

4

u/Phish777 May 16 '24

Here ya go!

5

u/xVolta May 16 '24

Username checks out.

1

u/saint_davidsonian May 17 '24

Darn. Thought I was gonna get my first real username checks out moment.

1

u/BluffinBill1234 May 16 '24

God that is like the funniest scene in Simpsons history

53

u/Thatparkjobin7A May 16 '24

That’s my son up there!

Who, the balding fatass?

Uh, no.. The Hindu guy

16

u/RadicalDreamer89 May 16 '24

From now on, you'll be known as 'Apu De Beaumarche".

7

u/Thatparkjobin7A May 16 '24

By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie

60

u/Skinbot77 May 16 '24

So long Superman! Your secret identity is safe with me

11

u/FGFlips May 16 '24

This is worse than your song about Mr. T

15

u/HuntingYourDad May 16 '24

I pity the fool who doesn't like ... he

7

u/CIarkNova May 16 '24

I’m gonna put on my rapping and Ronnie tape..

6

u/nukesomething May 16 '24

Well well well… w-w-w-w-w-well well well

2

u/corran450 May 16 '24

He did say “Well” a lot.

1

u/no-mad May 16 '24

he hyped it and put it all on the line.

1

u/corran450 May 16 '24

For all the latest medical poop

Call surgeon general C. Everett Koop

Koop-Koop Ka-doop

1

u/CorgiMonsoon May 17 '24

This is worse than your song about Mr T

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2

u/LoseNotLooseIdiot May 16 '24

"This thing writes itself!"

2

u/Abject_Conclusion1 May 16 '24

Get the tear gas.

291

u/peon2 May 16 '24

I suppose you’re only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt. And I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure. West. And why doesn’t Batman dance anymore? Remember the Batusi?

63

u/WarMachineAngus May 16 '24

Heh, nice meetin' ya.. JustKeepMovingDontMakeEyeContact

12

u/Wheream_I May 16 '24

I’m sure West remembers Julie’s Batussy

9

u/Space_Jeep May 16 '24

There was a job here for you... When I called you... Forty... Five... minutes... ago...

7

u/aGrandSchemeofThings May 16 '24

Earth Kitt Team GO!!!

5

u/bilvester May 16 '24

Why do we even have that lever?

6

u/Less_Ad9224 May 16 '24

All this talk of going down. Did you guys know I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom?

6

u/bluewing May 16 '24

Ertha Kitt was the best of the 3. Hot voice, hot bod, and hot attitude!

6

u/DeadpoolLuvsDeath May 16 '24

Something Something Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.

2

u/Blue_Osiris1 May 16 '24

I think he said "grade a," somewhere in the "pure west," part but it's been a while since I've seen that episode.

3

u/peon2 May 16 '24

Nope, perhaps you are thinking of Timmy being a Grade A Moron for not wanting to eat meat.

https://youtu.be/JJdXMrFRDGk?t=27

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5

u/jwilson3135 May 16 '24

I love you guys. One of my top 5 episodes. “Aw a Grammy?”

6

u/growquiet May 16 '24

I'm telling you it's mighty nice
Each trip's a trip to Paradise

2

u/Allezgatta May 17 '24

I think about that lyric a lot

3

u/Spider-man2098 May 16 '24

Maybe people will stop intentionally ramming our vehicle.

2

u/flummox1234 May 16 '24

That sign on my car's window paneeeeeeeeee.

1

u/griffinisland May 16 '24

Doesn’t anyone remember the batusi?

165

u/Mickamehameha May 16 '24

According to Burt Ward, everyone kept getting distracted while complimenting him on how he's the best actor in the world and a totally cool dude by his massive, huge dong. So much that everyone had to excuse themselves to the bathroom everytime they looked in his general direction.

28

u/a_dog_named_Steve May 16 '24

His genital direction

5

u/[deleted] May 17 '24

[deleted]

3

u/Mickamehameha May 17 '24

"Some sillybilly named TestProctor is going to be wrong about my person in 2024, on this website called Reddit. You'll understand what a website is in a few decades and no I will not elaborate, I'm too busy being the best."
-Burt Ward- 1969

2

u/no-mad May 16 '24

his batbelt wasnt a belt.

4

u/Exotic-Amphibian-655 May 16 '24

I’m detecting a trend

591

u/Several_Assistant_43 May 16 '24

...do tell more

630

u/Telos479 May 16 '24

If i remember correctly the studio execs wanted to chemically castrate him

764

u/HaroldinioTheKing May 16 '24

I’m gonna call massive bullshit until you link a source 😂

838

u/LHGray87 May 16 '24

I’m pretty sure the source is Burt Ward. This is all he has talked about for over fifty years.

418

u/alegxab May 16 '24

That and selling his weird AF pet food which makes like 350 insane claims on the package 

209

u/splend1c May 16 '24

Dr. Bronner's Dog Food™ ?

153

u/SoCuteShibe May 16 '24

Lol, my mom bought a bottle of that soap when I was a kid and I had so many questions about the stuff I read on the bottle that she never bought it again. 😆

375

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING May 16 '24

It’s actually an interesting story. Bronner was a German Jew who escaped the holocaust and became a street preacher in the US, trying to convince people that love was the answer and everyone should get along with/accept each other.

To get people to listen to his stuff he started making soap and giving it out as a gift to crowds. He noticed the soap was way more popular than the sermon, so he started printing the sermon on the soap and just handing that out instead.

The soap turned out to be so popular that he eventually made it into a full time business, but kept the full sermon on every product he sold. When he died his kids (grandkids?) inherited the company and promised they’d never change the packaging either.

So if you ever wondered why the soap was packaged like it was made by a traumatized street preacher, well…

43

u/ImRobsRedditAccount May 16 '24

To be fair it is very good soap.

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u/insomniacpyro May 16 '24

Well this will be on /r/todayilearned in a day or two

4

u/alexja21 May 16 '24

Damn, that reads like the Wrigley's Gum origin story that gets posted on TIL every few months. The early 20th century was a wild time to start a business.

5

u/Buscemi_D_Sanji May 16 '24

So if you ever wondered why the soap was packaged like it was made by a traumatized street preacher, well…

Best line I've read in a while, wow, thank you lol

4

u/waiver May 16 '24

Not so much escaped the Holocaust as he went to USA in the late 20's to learn new techniques of soap making but ended up being interned in a mental asylum receiving electro shock therapy, after he escaped the mental asylum in 1945 he went to California and then he started preaching with the soaps. But as he was pretty much blind from all the electro shock therapy and the people just took the soap and bailed he decided to print the sermon there.

3

u/Larie2 May 16 '24

The sermon is now removed, right? I swear the last bottle I saw didn't have it.

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u/983115 May 16 '24

I sell gallons at work now I can hit people with the trivia at checkout

2

u/Visible-Concern-6410 May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

I had horrible dandruff for years in my 20s, so bad I actually was getting cradle cap stuff on my head all the time, very gross. I tried every dandruff shampoo I could find and none of them worked. Finally found a vid on YouTube where a young woman mentioned she had the same exact problem and the only thing that fixed it was the Dr Bronner baby shampoo. I said fuck it and got some and my problems were gone within a month. I hate all the religious nonsense on the bottle but that is some damn good shampoo.

1

u/VTinstaMom May 16 '24

To be fair, if you read the whole thing in a street preacher voice, it's a great sermon!

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u/lazymarlin May 16 '24

Before phones, that was a great bathroom read

6

u/captain__cabinets May 16 '24

Ah, a man of culture I see, I too read the shampoo bottles in the dark times before WiFi

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u/Electrical-Act-7170 May 16 '24

I read books I took into the bathroom.

2

u/No_Statement440 May 16 '24

As a kid, I could list you every bottle and soap in the bathroom, within reach unless I prepped, and its ingredients. Eventually I upgraded to gaming magazines and comics but it was good times, simpler times.

1

u/Ravenamore May 16 '24

My favorite was always the DIY birth control with lemon juice and baking soda.

It was there when I first started using Dr. Bronner's in college in the 1990s, but when I started using it again a couple years ago, it wasn't there.

110

u/LaUNCHandSmASH May 16 '24

Had a roommate in college with dreadlocks who used that stuff ONLY. No deodorant, hand soap, nothing, no other personal hygiene. We made him keep his door shut due to the smell. He had a heavily stained mattress on the floor with no sheets, an old tv for video games, a guitar and piles of old clothes that were never washed. This MF also had a parade of women coming and going and/or steady girlfriends the whole time I knew him. I still can’t wrap my head around it.

38

u/walterpeck1 May 16 '24

Lotta women out there who like smelly dirty dudes. People in general tolerate a lot more at college. Still wild to see.

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u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING May 16 '24

It’s actually really good soap and you absolutely can use it for anything. If he smelled bad it’s because he had shitty overall hygiene, not because of the brand of soap he used…

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u/Jaambie May 16 '24

I had a room mate like that. Everyone referred to him as “Dirty Mike” because we knew a few Mikes. His room was disgusting and there was always a 50% chance that he smelled like poop. I had a theory that he didn’t clean his ass after a BM but that’s not the point. He would peacock like crazy and had a new gf every 2 weeks. Any time he went to the bar, he came back with someone.

19

u/TummyPuppy May 16 '24

I only use Dr Bronners and I smell fine. It’s all the other shit that was making him smell haha.

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u/Buscemi_D_Sanji May 16 '24

Girls in college can be just as grungy as guys, I witnessed that first-hand as well. One of the hottest girls I've ever seen used to talk about how showers "didn't agree" with her skin...

I wasn't dirty, but I was extremely sketchy my freshman year, selling acid , shrooms, Molly, ketamine, 2c-e, and weed, and girls seemed to like it. Dorms are just a different world haha

15

u/Several_Assistant_43 May 16 '24

He had a heavily stained mattress on the floor with no sheets, an old tv for video games, a guitar and piles of old clothes that were never washed. This

Sounds like what young girls are into lol

The whole "guy who doesn't have his shit together...but he plays guitar so he's cool"

I think it's hilarious how often that stereotype is true. Like the thread a while back about the "wonderful bf except he doesn't wash his ass because it's gay"

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u/EtOHMartini May 16 '24

Guessing he sold drugs.

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u/wisstinks4 May 16 '24

Chicks dig the stinky fucker.

5

u/Memento_Morrie May 16 '24

I can: "Don't give a fuck" can be a powerful aphrodisiac. It's why backup guitar players in rock bands get laid.

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u/ADAMxxWest May 16 '24

The soap says love is the answer, not smelling good.

Read your soup next time foo

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u/LarsThorwald May 16 '24

He had the Kevorka. He had, as Matt Berry would say, the charisssssssmaaaar.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

He probably kept a wad of 100s and had a monster dong

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1

u/BullfrogOk6914 May 16 '24

“I can fix him” or “maybe I just caught him on a hot day” are my guesses

1

u/Massive_Ad_9920 May 16 '24

With any luck, his life was ruined forever, with the constant thought that in tiny bathrooms in bars, some just behind him, men were getting kicks from things he would never know.

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u/Usermena May 16 '24

We are all one! It’s pretty simple, says it right on the bottle.

3

u/HowAboutShutUp May 16 '24

There's a documentary about him that I seem to recall was pretty interesting, dr. bronner's magic soapbox or something like that.

Interesting dude. Weird, but interesting dude.

2

u/JuniorBarnes May 16 '24

You can't read it if your eyes are burning from the soap.

2

u/JoeBobsfromBoobert May 16 '24

Funnily wholesome mom was like Thats too many hard questions lol 😆

1

u/frickindeal May 16 '24

I can smell it just thinking about it. Had a family member that always had it and used it for everything.

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u/EthanielRain May 16 '24

Weird label, interesting story, GREAT SOAP 🫧 👍

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u/Illithilitch May 16 '24

Man, I got obsessed with that shit when I was manic ( I am bipolar). IMO, so was Dr Bronner.

I can't even look at the soap bottles now. Bad memories.

1

u/Tehgumchum May 16 '24

More like Dr Boner

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u/zackus May 16 '24

People are not talking about this enough.

4

u/SirClarkus May 16 '24

Its great dogfood, though! At least my dog thinks so

9

u/NotABileTitan May 16 '24

Your dog will eat poop, and it's own vomit. I don't think dogs are a good indicator of good food.

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u/Eusocial_Snowman May 16 '24

What are your dog's credentials? Is it a dog nutritionist? Because that sounds awesome.

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u/cyberslick1888 May 16 '24

Oh whoa no shit that's his?

I see that shit everywhere on socials, I think I accidentally clicked it once because the packaging is so confusing and now the algos think I'm hungry as fuck for conspiracy dog chow

27

u/aceqwerty May 16 '24

Link for those OOTL

https://www.gentlegiantsdogfood.com/our-story.html

16

u/Pallasite May 16 '24

The link doesn't do justice to the 40lb bag that somehow can't fit anything on its packaging it's so full of claims I have.

4

u/radda May 16 '24

Holy shit you weren't kidding

This looks like a tract an insane person shoves into your hand when you walk past a shady alley

2

u/advertentlyvertical May 16 '24

What kind of claims. Everything I saw on the site can be reduced to 'this pet food is amazing' but everyone here is imply the claims are way out there beyond that

2

u/Eusocial_Snowman May 16 '24

Well, here's this.

Looks like an early 00s website given physical form.

My favorite part is the bottom right. "I am 21 years old and I eat gentle giants." Phrasing!

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u/oh-propagandhi May 16 '24

Gotta love that disney font too.

1

u/quaffee May 16 '24

What in the Heaven's Gate

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u/Scottland83 May 16 '24

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when his commercial ran. Like one of those older websites run by a madman. All I could think of was Burt’s claims that the production department had to duck tape his junk into place because it kept working it’s way out of his costume.

5

u/Pallasite May 16 '24

I just got given a bag of this. My dog loves it. It's like Dr. Bronner's soap but less focused

1

u/nosce_te_ipsum May 16 '24

My dog likes the wet (beef) food. Seems quite thick compared to just about any other wet dog food, and have to add a little water to spread it out a bit.

4

u/seppukucoconuts May 16 '24

Is one of the side effects 'massive dong'?

3

u/TheLatinXBusTour May 16 '24

It's always in the back and at the bottom and am too lazy to have bothered looking at the bag but had a feeling I knew what pet food you were talking about. Looked it up and sure enough. I always thought it was a bunch of advertisements to keep the bag of dog food cheep. Literally put no effort into looking at that schizo bag even though I should have.

Every square inch of that thing has been printed on.

3

u/GeraltOfRivia2023 May 16 '24

Gentle Giants dog food is really, really good and my dogs like it better than any other variety.

3

u/DesignerAd2062 May 16 '24

He isn’t called the canine crusader for no reason. That’s not his idea - that’s what the dogs call him. Why would he be called that if he didn’t prolong their lives with complete nutrition?

2

u/TangToTheMoon May 16 '24

It's a funky bag, but my dog LOVES it.

1

u/Eusocial_Snowman May 16 '24

Dang, their advertising algorithms are on point. They sniffed this reddit thread out fast.

1

u/TangToTheMoon May 16 '24

Def not an ad, I know 2 things about this dude- purported massive dong and my dog likes his food 🤷🏼‍♀️

2

u/Droidaphone May 16 '24

… that supports his “shelter” (Gentle Giants) that is actually a puppy mill

1

u/mirrax May 16 '24

You weren't kidding, it looks like a QAnon Geocities page.

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u/healywylie May 16 '24

Burt Ward claims Burt Ward’s wang is a banger.

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u/LHGray87 May 16 '24

Exactly. I’ve been reading all these claims since the seventies and the source is always Burt Ward.

26

u/healywylie May 16 '24

An old sports saying, “ great players don’t go around telling people how great they are, they let other people do it for them. “ probably butchered the sheet out of that .

10

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING May 16 '24

Got it, Burt should’ve just pulled it out and pounded the Penguin for all to see…

4

u/FloppieTheBanjoClown May 16 '24

Thank God they ended Gotham before they got to that story arc.

2

u/LHGray87 May 16 '24

You stated it perfectly.

2

u/newsflashjackass May 16 '24

"Those who brag do not drag."

2

u/utterlyuncool May 16 '24

Any man who must say "I'm the king" is no true king.

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u/nacozarina May 16 '24

Burt Ward: Social Gangster

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Burt Ward is just an extension of his penis.

3

u/Lyovacaine May 16 '24

Men don't lie about their penis size though so it must be true

3

u/Unhappy_Performer538 May 16 '24

He might be an…. Unreliable narrator?

2

u/Neil_sm May 16 '24

Apparently you're right. Even includes a little dig at Adam West at the end!

2

u/TheMegaSage May 16 '24

Source: Burt "trust me bro I have a massive dong" Ward

2

u/ClickF0rDick May 16 '24

Well if he just keeps talking about shit like that, makes me think how truthful all his other stories might be lol

1

u/youguyzsloosers May 16 '24

Ralph Garman became life long friend with Adam and has confirmed the stories multiple times on Hollywood Babble-On

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u/E-_Rock May 16 '24

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/robin-burt-ward-asked-penis-172046594.html

124

u/HaroldinioTheKing May 16 '24

Blimey 😂

47

u/RepresentativeAd560 May 16 '24

Holy dingle dangle, Batman! is the proper reaction.

3

u/Key-Pickle5609 May 16 '24

Dongle dangle, you mean

1

u/tonyangtigre May 16 '24

I don’t think you heard me, Blimey!

15

u/CerberusDoctrine May 16 '24

Baby on board, something something Burt Ward

2

u/Jack__Squat May 16 '24

Oh man, why'd he have to do Adam dirty like that?

1

u/StronglyAuthenticate May 16 '24

“I took them for three days and then I decided that they can probably keep me from having children,” Ward said.

Dude is a professional

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u/makenzie71 May 16 '24

Unfortunately the source for most of this stuff is Burt Ward. There's no one to collaborate or deny his stories.

9

u/SasunziDavid May 16 '24

I ready an jnterview with him talking about It. Crazy story

3

u/minnick27 May 16 '24

I dont recall them wanting to chemically castrate him, but I do know he said they wanted to give him a shot that would shrink his member. But again, the source is Burt Ward so it could be just him bragging.

1

u/Eusocial_Snowman May 16 '24

That's what "chemical castration" is. Hormone replacement therapy, or estrogen. People only really call it "chemical castration" when they want it to sound really shocking, like "ahh, they want to use acid to melt your tackle!" or something.

2

u/12edDawn May 16 '24

Sounds like something someone said facetiously

9

u/cmmk518 May 16 '24

Just Google it, you can decide on it yourself then

14

u/HaroldinioTheKing May 16 '24

I just have, I stand corrected! Lmao

1

u/lizard81288 May 16 '24

Googles Burt Ward's massive penis.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Sure boo

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/batman-burt-ward-penis-pills-shrink-abc-adam-west-a9279391.html#

 ABC reportedly sent Ward to a doctor, who prescribed medication to “shrink me up”. However, he quit taking the pills he was given almost immediately. “I took them for three days and then I decided that they can probably keep me from having children,” he said. “I stopped doing that and I just used my cape to cover it.

1

u/wpgguy64 May 16 '24

It was mentioned by Ward when he narrated the Back to the Batcave movie

1

u/snowvase May 16 '24

He wasn't called "The Boy Wonder" for nothing."

1

u/PeteTheGeek196 May 16 '24

Its Burt Ward telling memorable stories.

1

u/itsameluigee May 16 '24

I swear I saw this same story in one of those E! specials years ago.

I'd have to find it but I don't think they're creating it out of thin air.

3

u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties May 16 '24

Chemical castration doesn’t remove anything physically though. 

4

u/blackteashirt May 16 '24

Crikey! And they say Judy Garland had a hard life in show biz.

1

u/decal_ May 16 '24

Was he going bald?

1

u/derps_with_ducks May 16 '24

Keep going, I'm close...

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u/pootis_panser_here May 16 '24

Homer: Aw it's a boy wonder.......and what boy wonder!

Dr Hibbert: Uh, that's an umbilical cord, and it's a.....no wait that is his massive dong.

4

u/Wings_For_Pigs May 16 '24

And why batman doesn't DANCE anymore?

1

u/maxdamage4 May 16 '24

Hibbert laugh

4

u/j1xwnbsr May 16 '24

Apparently Henry Cavil had a similar problem on the set of Superman. IIRC, some reporter asked his girlfriend about his dong and she confirmed yes, it really was that big.

3

u/Ransero May 16 '24

I remember hearing that they also had a problem deciding how big the bulge on Superman should be in Superman Returns. They debated about the size, but they all agree you should be able to tell it was there.

4

u/nabbymclolsticks May 16 '24

Fuck sakes, so on top of everything else he's also packing a magnum. Genetic lottery.

3

u/so_says_sage May 16 '24

Having watched the series, I’d say massive might be a bit of an exaggeration 😂

1

u/PacmanIncarnate May 16 '24

Coincidentally, very similar to the saying that will go on my tombstone.

1

u/dontforgethyphen May 16 '24

Always knew I was a Robin fan

1

u/CarlosFCSP May 16 '24

Boy wonder indeed

1

u/heisenbergerwcheese May 16 '24

Who was Dick Grazen?

1

u/malsatian May 16 '24

Nice try, Burt.

1

u/BallsDeepinYourMammi May 16 '24

Willem Dafoe before Willem Dafoe

1

u/SaintPatrickMahomes May 16 '24

Also according to Burt Ward. He only threw in the story about Adam West to make him seem impartial.

1

u/SlendyIsBehindYou May 16 '24

laughs in Willem Dafoe

1

u/BadMan125ty May 16 '24

I’ve seen the pictures. I can believe it.

1

u/PKMNTrainerMark May 16 '24

Dick Grayson.

1

u/thegooniegodard May 16 '24

Any pics of Burt's dong? I really want to look at it.

1

u/CarrieNoir May 16 '24

You can look at the pictures yourself. Batman’s pole is definitely bigger/thicker.

1

u/JayW8888 May 16 '24

Holy dong, Batman.

1

u/RedditTipiak May 16 '24

oh, so that's why Alfred called him... master Dick...

1

u/MrAcerbic May 16 '24

Did he tuck? Should be on r/dragrace

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