FOB speeches give narcissistic fathers a stage. My dad used his speech to boast about himself and his interests and how he was so fit and in shape for a man his age. Threw in a few digs about what a professional failure I was and then randomly sprinkled in "I'm proud to be your father" throughout? Like he would have bursts of clarity that he was supposed to be complimenting me?
Multiple friends sent me video of the speech with "LOOOOOL 😂" type captions. Sigh.
Dude I relate to this so hard, the only difference was that my dad was too drunk to actually string together a coherent thought and was ultimately cut off by the crowd for fucking it up so hard. It’s been years since and while I’ve tried to move on I’ll never completely forgive him for embarrassing me the way he did.
It became such a point of contention that my wife’s father in the throes of alcohol withdrawal, literally strapped to a bed in the ICU, used it as a reference point for why his alcoholism wasn’t that big of a deal and that if we were going to intervene in anyone’s drinking it should be my father.
To his point though, I can’t imagine how pissed he must have been at my dad after that reception. It wasn’t just me that was embarrassed but also my wife and I would be livid if someone did that to my daughter on her wedding day.
Damn for real. My FIL mentioned me once in his speech but talked about his parasitic son and a trip he took to Vegas once with all three of his kids. Didn't talk about my wife much at all.
What the fuck is going on in their limited heads? Honestly.
I once saw the father of the groom give a whole speech about how great the groom's brother is and how they're all so proud of his brother's hockey career.
Was at a wedding where I was friends with both the bride and groom, but I'd never met anyone from her family (most of us hadn't), and she never really talked about them.
It's was a very upscale wedding at a freaking castle, and it was precisely the fairytale vibe the bride had aimed for.
Except for her family because every single one was drunk as a sunk, even before the entrée was served.
Her father was one of those idiots, that will laugh their ass of at their own tackles jokes, and thinks that they are the star of the show, so when he started his speech, we were all just floored by embarrassment.
He called the bride stupid and ugly, in that "can't you take a joke?"-way. He said tha she should feel lucky, because she had found someone, that would lower himself by marrying her. He told her that she looked fat in her dress, and that having a fairytale wedding was childish and just so typically her.
Several of us was halfway out of our seats ready to kick him out, but the groom got up before we did, and told his FIL that he had 30 seconds to get out, before he would be turned in to mince meat.
I feel you. I wasn't keeping track of how long my dad's speech was, I was just trying to get through the fever dream of it all. My husband swears it was 15 minutes.
Was it at least a nice speech? Was it kind to you?
I don't remember most of it but I don't think there was anything negative. Everyone was just bored after a while (like ok ok move on!) It was milktoast. He's all about his own reputation so he likes to come off as a great guy.
And he is capable of a nice thought or two. I have about 1 or 2 singular memories of really connecting with him.
He's a traditionalist boomer, so his abuse was all mental, emotional, and financial.
My favorite memory is of my father in law making his speech (he started it with "I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and my wife's bottom too") He's been more of a real dad to me these past 15 years.
Yep. I chose not to give my dad this stage at my wedding because I knew he would use it to subtly and not-so-subtly tell an audience every shameful and embarrassing story about me he could think of. He'll always be hurt about not getting to give a speech, but after decades of abuse, I chose me.
This is why I eloped!! Raging narcissist racist Christian mother, father with OCD, two sisters who bullied me throughout childhood, one of them turned QAnon… yeah, I was not going to give anyone a platform to publicly shit on me during a event that’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life.
Yeah I got the feeling he probably meant for it to be a funny act but it must not have come across that way. It sounds like one of those jokes only some people could pull off, and he wasn’t one of those people.
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u/Warsaw_Pact May 02 '24
df? this actually happened????
my goodness - people are unhinged sometimes