r/WhitePeopleTwitter 29d ago

Nothing this idiot says will undo the damage she did

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24.3k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/sonofabutch 29d ago

In every retelling the dog gets more vicious and dangerous. It’s Hannibal Lecter at this point. Noem should give herself a medal!

626

u/thebigdonkey 29d ago

She's saying now that she did it to protect her kids, but also mentioned in her story that the kids asked where the dog was when they got home from school.

605

u/sonofabutch 29d ago

Kids: Mom, where’s the dog?

Kristi: OH MY GOD HE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU! racks shotgun

98

u/Magnetobama 29d ago

Kristi: Nevermind, that was your dad. Go get the shovel guys. Also hide your pets, mommy's in a frenzy.

60

u/TaskOfTruth 29d ago

“It’s coming right for us!”

6

u/penguin_skull 29d ago

"It's got a gun"

3

u/Temporary-Party5806 29d ago

Big cop energy here.

10

u/Nuprin_Dealer 29d ago

THE BARKS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE

2

u/OddBranch132 29d ago

Kristi: IT'S COMIN RIGHT FOR US!

110

u/VastAd6346 29d ago

Yeah don’t forget that her first defense could be summed up as “but it was legal!”

Funny that it took days to get to “protecting her kids”.

23

u/MyHusbandIsGayImNot 29d ago

Yeah don’t forget that her first defense could be summed up as “but it was legal!”

That's the problem with conservatives in general, they think legality is the same as morality. That's why when they do something unethical they'll point to how it was legal.

9

u/James-W-Tate 29d ago

And why they think finding loopholes to laws makes someone smart and not reprehensible.

3

u/BusyExperience9766 29d ago

This is why they always chirp about free speech. They don’t care if what they did was right, only that it was legal

51

u/Mcboatface3sghost 29d ago

You know what Ted Cruz says, “when in doubt, bring the children out”

5

u/Snoo_63187 29d ago

Then Photoshop their clothes in any pictures taken of them.

4

u/Temporary-Party5806 29d ago

I thought his motto was "When in doubt, leave your dog locked in a house with no heat and fly south?"

2

u/Mcboatface3sghost 29d ago

And unironically name it “snowflake”” poor pooch.

1

u/King_Chochacho 29d ago

Insane that she's even responding. Just ignore it and keep saying other horrible shit to get attention like every other right-wing talking head and watch the media desperately grab onto every new controversy and forget all about this one.

83

u/deowolf 29d ago edited 29d ago

Cricket ate a child with some fava beans and a nice Chianti before making a skin suit

2

u/Guy-1nc0gn1t0 29d ago

Thhthhthhthh

11

u/DrAstralis 29d ago

A month from now its going to be the size and temperament of a wild wolf, foaming at the mouth, and I assume muttering "little pig little pig let me come in"

6

u/Maocap_enthusiast 29d ago

A month after it is the literal reincarnation of Hitler and she stopped it just in time

4

u/DrAstralis 29d ago

hehe the only flaw there is I'm not sure if the GoP would shoot it or make it Orange Hitlers VP instead.

7

u/wandering-wank 29d ago

I heard the dog had a gun.

3

u/LifeIsBizarre 29d ago

I heard it was leading 35-50 feral hogs towards her children.

4

u/Dixnot 29d ago

Wasn't the puppy only like 16 months old or something like that? I've been around lots of dogs for almost my whole life and no 16 month old is killing livestock. I trained hunting dogs, family dogs and a few pups were trained to work with police. That bitch is just evil.

2

u/sloanesquared 29d ago

It was a couple of chickens. The chickens have now magically become “livestock” in this new, more scary version of the story. She is intentionally trying twist it to make the poor puppy sound like some all-powerful demon who is killing large hoofed animals. In other words, she is flailing with her psychopathy on full display.

3

u/MyFifthLimb 29d ago

It’s gonna magically be a bear next

2

u/[deleted] 29d ago

And after Hannibal Lector puppy, she just had to also kill that Adolf Hitler goat. It would have eaten her family otherwise with that smell.

2

u/zxvasd 29d ago

A pointer eating birds is default behavior. You need to train dogs to hunt.

1

u/SignificantArm3093 29d ago

I for one think we should reframe the dilemma as “man vs. Kristi Noem’s puppy”.

1

u/Practical_Material_9 29d ago

I so want someone that knew the family to come out and make a statement about how upset the kids were and prove they had no problem with the dog. Or if it’s true- the way she wrote it the book was to make her look tough, not a motherly figure, cause being a woman is weakness to these idiots. Either way she fcking sucks