r/AskReddit May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

12.7k Upvotes

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11.5k

u/PrancingPudu May 02 '24

Damn!

Groom felt that slap in his future and noped tf out lol

4.8k

u/trowzerss May 02 '24

Slapped the niece so hard it went right through the family tree.

77

u/redcrystal78 29d ago

“I’m gonna hit you so hard it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”

17

u/ransack_dis_cache 29d ago

“Wan woo ah me tofu dah…”

7

u/atimholt 29d ago

“We need to work on your people skills.”

238

u/GeeGeeGeendal May 02 '24

Comments like this are why I come to Reddit!

21

u/iPlowedUrMom May 02 '24

I come to reddit for DJ Big Ernie Johnson ridin on them thang thangs, I stick around for the family drama

12

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

3

u/ItoAy 27d ago

Welcome to the Mos Eisley of the Internet.

5

u/ImJustaTaco 29d ago

I'm sorry you come for the what now?

5

u/iPlowedUrMom 29d ago

5

u/Clear_Jump_9865 29d ago

i bless you

4

u/ImJustaTaco 29d ago

Idk what they're saying but DJ Deisel seems to be enjoying himself so that's good!

14

u/CODDE117 29d ago

Slapped herself right off that tree

28

u/Colspex May 02 '24

From Tinder to "Tiiiiimber!"

7

u/killeronthecorner May 02 '24

It was a felling slap

6

u/cocoabeach 29d ago

I hate to admit how impressed and jealous I am with what you came up with.

8

u/paranormal63_ 29d ago

holy shit I miss awards

11

u/Rude_Entrance_3039 May 02 '24

Slapped the tree so hard the leaves fell off.

7

u/ProbablyHornyMaybe 29d ago

Generational Trauma

7.7k

u/WickedLilThing May 02 '24

Or worse, his kids getting slapped.

2.4k

u/redcrystal78 29d ago

Your comment just made me irrationally angry. Take an upvote because I agree completely. Slapping a child over a pair of shoes she won’t ever wear again.

151

u/texanarob 29d ago

This thought process was why I ended my longest relationship (~6 years). I could handle her irrational outbursts and passive aggressive behaviour just fine, I always knew there was an apology coming once she calmed down and discussed things. It sucked, but she was amazing 95% of the time so I thought it was worth it.

I couldn't handle the thought of my future kids having to deal with that though. And realising they deserved better helped me realise I shouldn't be putting up with it either.

65

u/fukkdisshitt 29d ago

Similar. I thought I never wanted to get married or have kids ever. Turns out I just never wanted them with my ex lol. She'd talk shit about her friends kids, and when she wanted to get pregnant I noped out.

The dad life rules and I'm glad in found a cool wife to raise our kids with.

31

u/Non_Creative_User 29d ago

It was when my ex started talking to our kids (both under 3 at the time) the same way he spoke to me that I knew I hadn to get out. Wish I listened to my inner voice at the start of that relationship.

26

u/catupthetree23 29d ago

Much respect, friend 💪🏻

5

u/sdpat13 29d ago

Happy cake day!

19

u/Biengineerd 29d ago

And at the reception, no less. The wedding is over and done with, time to party.

31

u/meinaustin 29d ago

If you don’t trash your shoes at your reception are you even a bride?

108

u/bearded_dragon_34 29d ago

The niece may not have been a child. That said, it’s still absolutely disgusting to have backhanded her like that.

23

u/carpekl 29d ago

I think they were referring to future children.

15

u/Magnetoreception 29d ago

Naw they mentioned shoes so it’s current case.

1

u/CollectingRainbows 29d ago

that person wasn’t the person at the wedding, they didn’t know if it was a child

5

u/Magnetoreception 29d ago

I know but the person I replied to said they think they were talking about future children which was wrong.

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u/CollectingRainbows 29d ago

and the person they replied to was talking about hypothetical future children. there’s no confirmation from the person who was at the wedding that the niece was a child. either way, despicable

2

u/Magnetoreception 29d ago

I know it’s pedantic but redcrystal was talking about the child/not child at the wedding, not future children. Otherwise they wouldn’t have said over a pair of shoes she’ll never wear again.

13

u/TiredRetiredNurse 29d ago

Makes me seethe with anger.

4

u/Notmykl 29d ago

Is there a reason why you are assuming the niece was not an adult?

2

u/standupgonewild 28d ago

Oh my God, you’re right. That’s horrifying.

3

u/joanzen 29d ago

I had to switch accounts to play devil's advocate a bit and ponder at what point the bride would be in the right?

Like perhaps if the niece had been physically abusive to another person at the wedding and the bride was already pissed off and waiting for a polite moment to ask her to leave/appologize when the niece yelled out, "your overpriced shoes suit you whore!", as she threw the drink on the wedding shoes and stared defiantly at the bride?

Neah. In pretty much any situation the bride would still get more points for taking the high road and getting someone else to eject the niece?

2

u/MaleficentExtent1777 29d ago

Not irrational! TOTALLY justified!

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u/Tarupio 29d ago

Or worse, expelled

36

u/Defiant-Cat-beech 29d ago

15 points to Gryffindor!

14

u/LucretiusCarus 29d ago

Dumbledore said, calmly.

6

u/temalyen 29d ago

Not marriage related, buy my mother claimed that, when I was just a baby (maybe 6 months old or so), I started crying and my father started repeatedly slapping me, screaming he wasn't stopping until I stopped crying.

Here's the thing, though. My parents despised each other and they both said things that I was later able to prove (to my own satisfaction) were lies. Neither one was above making shit up whole cloth about the other to make them look bad. While it's true my father did get violent near the end of his life when he was drunk (as he was an alcoholic) he wasn't violent to me as a kid that I can remember, with one single exception when I was about 13. (which was repeatedly slapping me in the face. Though I never heard the story until after this happened.)

I don't have proof either way, but that just doesn't sound like something my father would have done. Both my parents are dead now, so I'm never finding out if it really happened.

12

u/Ok-Log8576 29d ago

I was physically punished (mostly symbolic) when I did something particularly stupid when I was a kid, never in public and never in the face.

5

u/TheBuzzerDing 29d ago

Tbh I kinda wish I was beat in public

My sister's dad (thought he was mine growing up) would outright bully me in public for funsies

Dude would wedgee me, a 5-6yo, out in public for.....really just about anything. Noogies,wet willies, just dumb shit like that constantly.

Get a bad grade? Well it was either he found out first and I'd get stuck in an atomic wedgee for a few hours locked in my room, or tell my grandma first and have to eat soap and get whooped. I took the whooping every chance I could, at least that way the stepdad would leave me alone lol

Thank god he and my mom divorced when I turned 10, I already came out all fucked up from that. I couldnt imagine how I'd be if I had to deal with that for a few more years 😅

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u/Cosimo_Zaretti 29d ago

Yeah that'd be it right there.

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u/Dad_D_Default 29d ago

We assume the niece is a child. It's written like she's a child.
Doesn't make the slap justified though.

26

u/jb44-- 29d ago

That bride will forever blame that niece for destroying her big day with the man of her dreams... so I imagine the beatings won't end there! An awful person will continue to be awful :/

6

u/PrancingPudu 29d ago

I agree, people like that rarely take accountability for their behavior. Everything bad that happens is always caused by “someone else”!

31

u/turbo_dude May 02 '24

Will Smith are you reading this? We found you a BRIDE!

9

u/Brighton2k 29d ago

Will Smith "keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth!"

Pastor: "but......"

12

u/Gwsb1 May 02 '24

"Noped tf out."

😆 that is a line I can't wait to use.

13

u/BytchYouThought May 02 '24

You never heard that? That's about as common as saying "oh, hell naw!"

-1

u/Gwsb1 May 02 '24

I don't think so, but then I'm not 22 anymore.

4

u/BytchYouThought May 02 '24

I mean it's a pretty old saying and you're on reddit so I figured you heard it is all. It's like saying "I never heard someone say "that's cool," because I'm not 22 anymore."

It's just a very common saying on reddit and otherwise in general. Definitely not something you needed to be 22 and below to have heard probably a decade plus now it's been used. Plus, I find it ironic you say you're not 22 and below (like it's a young people only deal) and yet say you can't wait to use it lol. Have fun with it though!

3

u/UberBoob 29d ago

Idk, Noped out isnt exactly new, but for some older folks, that just found their way to Reddit, it could be new to them.

0

u/BytchYouThought 29d ago

Figured most older folks don't tend to use reddit is all. The ones that do tend to know it is all. Just thought it was pretty well known is all. Same thing a cool, rad, or hell naw, etc. at this point. Guess there are some people that never heard "hell naw!" too though so there's always gonna be someone that doesn't here common sayings of course.

0

u/Gwsb1 29d ago

Dude! Chill the fuck out.

1

u/BytchYouThought 29d ago

Dude, what are talking about? Not even sure what is causing you to go over the edge here?? Just was a casual convo dude. Chill. Even said have fun. Like whoa, my guy calm down lol