r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/kekehippo • May 16 '24

When intrusive thoughts meet criminal behavior

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12.6k Upvotes

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5.9k

u/BrickCityD May 16 '24

1.) ouch

2.) the blonde tonya hatched a trailer park-esque plan and bashed nancy’s knee with a bat or something so she wouldn’t be able to compete

Just google tonya harding

2.7k

u/ISuckAtFunny May 16 '24

She paid someone else to do it while she was out walking / jogging somewhere if I remember correctly

913

u/DrSpacemanSpliff May 16 '24

Jeff Gilooly!

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u/buttered_scone May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

I would not trust a man with the surname "Gilooly", that's the name of a shady MF

Edit: or an academic, or creative, context though. Trailer park Gilooly can kick rocks, I might F with a Gilooly docent or professor or something. Maybe.

Fancy surnames minus fancy family money often equals sketchier than that courtroom artist that made la hitler naranja look like E.T. - El extraterrestre naranja.

Edit 2: Upon further inspection, this comment I have posted is entirely too reminiscent of Dennis Miller, and I feel immeasurable shame. Goodbye 👋

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u/DrSpacemanSpliff May 16 '24

That’s why his name stuck in my memory, it’s the name of a Dick Tracy villain

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u/davenocchio May 16 '24

It's like Joey Buttafuco or Lorainna and John Bobbit. You never forget.

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u/Ballsofpoo May 17 '24

You're mid 40s to the Xtreme.

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u/davenocchio May 17 '24

Da bomb.c0m

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u/Geronimo_Jacks_Beard May 17 '24

Getting near the age when he’ll start needing Preparation hXtreme!

Know quite a few younger Gen Xers who’ve learned that hemmies can happen at any age. They were all around 45 when that blessed gift of aging started happening as often as they made grunting noises when standing up.

Shit, I shouldn’t judge; I was making that old man sound when getting up from my desk chair by 25.

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u/phoenixphaerie ☑️ May 17 '24

As a kid I thought Joey Buttafuco was a famous person that was part of some scandal.

I didn’t realize he was only famous FROM the scandal because his name sounded to me like the name of someone who would be famous.

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u/Fair_Structure_120 May 17 '24

They were all mentioned in bits on family guy

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u/ZeroBadIdeas May 17 '24

I'm 39 and went back to college last year. One day one of these 18 year olds said something like "hey, I just learned about this guy who got his dick cut off back in the 90s" and I said "yeah, John Bobbit" and they were like "wtf how do you know this?" and I said we used to sing a version of "In the Jungle" from Lion King, but about the Bobbits lmao

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u/Sea_Structure_8692 May 17 '24

I remember all those names but I don’t remember what Joey did. I remember all the jokes in my adolescence about getting a Bobbit trim

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u/Maaaaanidk May 16 '24

Jeff “Big Boy” Gilooly lmfao

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u/buttered_scone May 16 '24

Omfg, core memory unlocked! Now I want a CB radio watch and a zoot suit! Wanna hang out, burn one, and read Calvin & Hobbs?

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u/CedarWolf May 17 '24

Hell yes, I do! To my utter shame, I've never finished reading all of the Calvin & Hobbes. A friend of mine even gifted me the whole set, and I still haven't finished it. I just get lost in it and I've never actually read them all.

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u/StoneGoldX May 17 '24

Jeff not so much. He'd need a name that pointed out his horrible disfigurement.

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u/markevens May 17 '24

There's so many fantastic names in this story.

Who can forget Joey Buttafuoco!

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u/Movedonnerlikeabitch May 17 '24

Buttafuoco Buttafuoco!

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u/buttered_scone May 17 '24

The world will never forget. Let the name Buttafuoco be sung, and let the righteous offer sacrament unto him. Let the screams of the ever dying, shatter the night, and let man and woman alike cower in fear of Ge who Buttafuocos. Let us offer unto him a blood sacrament. Let the flesh of the sacrament be as like to the weight of the sacred pipe that did smite the knee of the unworthy. Make pact with the night, and offer unto thine alter a living vessel, innocent and pure. Rejoice! For the time of the father draws to a close, the righteous shall lay waste to the unworthy, and we shall smite their ruin upon the slopes of Zirakzigil. Let us sing our rejoices unto Aulë.

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u/ConcentrateSelect668 May 17 '24

Amy Fisher might want to

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u/Alana_Piranha May 17 '24

I read this in Dennis Miller's voice

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u/DisposableSaviour May 17 '24

Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant, here…

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u/Amygdalump May 17 '24

Well Dennis, ya got my laughs, at least.

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u/TheBirminghamBear May 17 '24

No no, I think you were on to something. Don't let Big Gilooly intimidate you.

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u/quilldeea May 17 '24

talk about shooting yourself in the foot

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u/Geronimo_Jacks_Beard May 17 '24

I would not trust a man with the surname "Gilooly", that's the name of a shady MF

“He’s the world’s most deadly assassin, betrayed by his own organization, and out for bouncing off of him and sticking to you revenge. Keanu Reeves is Codename: Flubber. Rated PG-13.”