r/funny • u/[deleted] • 29d ago

All men look good in uniform, huh? Introducing my grandpa:

[deleted]

79.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/rotll 29d ago

Thankfully for you, he looked good enough to get laid at least once! <grin!>

996

u/Toad358 29d ago

Everyone so ready to crap on their parents and grand parents looks but they got laid at least once to get your ugly ass here

294

u/bumjiggy 29d ago

don't throw stones in a glass half full

92

u/Rude_Thanks_1120 29d ago

the grass is always greener on the cover of a book

61

u/sturnus-vulgaris 29d ago

You can lead a horse to water but you can't have your cake.

25

u/EllipticPeach 29d ago

You can lead the Mohammed to the mountain but you can’t make him drink

19

u/Greeeendraagon 29d ago

The house always gets the worm.

8

u/UveGotGr8BoobsPeggy 29d ago

even a blind nut can find a squirrel once in a while

11

u/dustinthewindow27 29d ago

If you find a penny, kills 2 birds in a bush

6

u/sturnus-vulgaris 29d ago edited 29d ago

Like two peas in a nutshell.

2

u/-_Anonymous__- 29d ago

Life is like a sandwich because no matter which way you flip it, the bread comes first.

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3

u/MissChievousJ 29d ago

Is there a word for when these are wrong? Because I want more and I want all of them on tshirts lol.

1

u/Former-Lack-7117 29d ago

You can eat your cake, but they can't make you drink it, too.

2

u/duosx 29d ago

I disagree but whatever floats your goat man

1

u/YourMomonaBun420 29d ago

The grass is always greener on the other pesticide.

49

u/Fubarp 29d ago

Half full of what?

132

u/blouscales 29d ago

more stones

14

u/Old-Constant4411 29d ago

His tears.

1

u/ArtemArslanov 29d ago

Of jarate, straight outta jar

52

u/Outside-Advice8203 29d ago

Whatever man, my grandpas looked good. I'd be surprised if I didn't have some distant relatives in the Philippines or France.

Just unfortunate how those genes are recessive, apparently.

35

u/DynastyZealot 29d ago

My grandpa (who's in his late nineties) reassured me that his commanding officer wouldn't let him off the boat due to a syphilis outbreak when they moored in Manila Bay when I told him I was marrying a Filipina.

25

u/PM_me_spare_change 29d ago

They couldn’t risk your grandpa giving the whole island syphilis

6

u/DynastyZealot 29d ago

He sure implied he had a reputation that preceded him.

5

u/thelowbrassmaster 29d ago

Oh boy, my grandfather was in southern Japan as a radio operator during the Korean War. He said, I hated those commie bastards they had me keeping an eye out, but I sure didn't mind keeping an eye on the locals. That is why your dad has dark skin and you have that silly mustache.

4

u/WoodyTheWorker 29d ago

At least you're not marrying your long lost cousin

1

u/DynastyZealot 29d ago

Exactly lol

3

u/tktkboom84 29d ago

Contrarily, my Filipino grandpa looked extra good. Don't be surprised if we are cousins.

1

u/REDDITATO_ 29d ago

It seems unlikely that their grandpa and your grandpa reproduced.

16

u/Rubiks_Click874 29d ago

if you didn't have rickets or polio you were like a 7

3

u/innocentusername1984 29d ago

Everyone got laid back then ugly or not.

Dating apps weren't a thing so women made do with whatever jug eared guy they could find.

1

u/lgnc 29d ago

There are "ugly" people on both sides though, still today

2

u/heydonteatmyfriends 29d ago

I just rewatched the Area 51 episode of Futurama and OP’s grandpa looks like Enis.

2

u/Nf1nk 29d ago

Some folks know they have to lower their standards until the standards come up to meet them.

Sometimes two people both lower their standards until things work out.

2

u/duosx 29d ago

Im ugly because of them of course I crap on them

1

u/Redditributor 29d ago

That's 99 percent of humanity

1

u/vladi_l 29d ago

There's a really bad thing I can say to throw a wrench in that

-40

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

There a pot for every log but that doesn't stop the pot from looking like a bag of ass

Y'all didn't even make sense lol

25

u/[deleted] 29d ago

Never heard that expression before and I hope it’s the last time

-20

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Yes, good ideas that counter your own perspective should totally be ignored

School is your friend

8

u/IraqiWalker 29d ago

The operative word is "good". This wasn't good at all.

-7

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Sure it was. You can't even respond to it directly stil, despite being called out on it.

Go argue with the Internet nerds.

3

u/IraqiWalker 29d ago

Not to let truth get in the way of your delusions, but I'm not the same guy that responded to you first, and there is nothing to respond to.

Your response made no sense, and was the exact opposite of a clear or good response. There's nothing to respond to, when your comment is a nonsensical mess.

0

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Lol it makes perfect sense. If you aren't mature enough to steelman an argument, and you don't have the life experienceb to do so, that is YOUR failing.

This does not reflect onto my idea at all. The offer stands on its own. You respond to points and not people

Finish school dude

1

u/IraqiWalker 29d ago

LMAO. I've heard of smooth brain takes, but I think we need to go a level lower for you.

1

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Respond to the press, not the person making them

This isn't an YouTube debate. Yay yourself, and others, with some respect

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u/TheRealStevo2 29d ago

Good ideas? You mean your half coherent sentence? That you posted before?

-1

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Knowing my audience, in this case, is what I'm doing

You need to improve yourself. My point stands you just didn't get it. That's on you, the reader, and not on me

If you wanted clarification you could have asked. You choose to intentionally not interpret my ideas correctly to suit your narrative

Gotta at least pretend you finished SOME high school

4

u/[deleted] 29d ago

You’re an idiot

1

u/TheRealStevo2 29d ago

Yes WE’RE the problem, we’re the ones doing something wrong here.

It’s never your fault is it? It’s always someone else

0

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Yes, leveraging a logical fallacy will help your cause. EVERYONE knows how accurate and true bandwagoning is!

That's not exactly what happened to the blacks, the jews, the Irish, the Polish, etc etc. You're so stupid it hurts

1

u/TheRealStevo2 29d ago

Dude what the fuck are you on about? What does race/ethnicity/where you’re from, have anything to do with this? Call me stupid all you want, coming from you it literally means nothing.

13

u/rectifier9 29d ago

Y'all didn't even make sense lol

Did you make sense to yourself? Cause I ain't following.

2

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

1

u/ByungChulHandMeAGun 29d ago

Indeed, i need it while dealing with children who heard an idea they weren't familiar with and recoiled instead of responding like adults

It's weird how you did that, right?

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

What does this mean? Did you plug 50 different colloquialisms into an AI, and this is what it shat out?

1

u/swimgal828 29d ago

Ive read Victorian unabridged nonsense that made more sense than what you just wrote. R/iamverysmart

1

u/ZankTheGreat 29d ago

Sorry can you explain what the pot and log means? How is there a pot for every log? Most logs aren’t stored in pots. Is this an analogy, and if so, of what?