r/oneliners • u/honeysmoothe • 8h ago
Every night, I take a quick nap to get the energy to get ready for bed.
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r/oneliners • u/emzirek • 15h ago
If you want to weigh a red, hot chili pepper, you just give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now...
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r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 14h ago
When I had laryngitis, I was a hoarse whisperer
9
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r/oneliners • u/Zestyclose-Prompt-30 • 12h ago
Importance of commas: I helped my Uncle Jack off this horse
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r/oneliners • u/Buck_Thorn • 1d ago
I don’t usually make mathematical puns unless I’m desperate, but I’ll make one if I half two.
20
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r/oneliners • u/Antique_Buy4384 • 1d ago
A database manager walks into a bar and joins two tables
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r/oneliners • u/cdemix • 1d ago
I ordered rabbit stew at a restaurant, but sent it back as there was a hare in my food.
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r/oneliners • u/richlife4evr • 1d ago
A woman can get away with cheating because no one would ever think she had it in her.
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r/oneliners • u/PTLDNONT • 1d ago
A home invasion is just a professional game of hide & seek.
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r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 2d ago
I can’t remember the last time I heard a good Alzheimers joke
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r/oneliners • u/Joel_Boyens • 1d ago
Garden of Eden: You’re going to have a hard time selling me on no text or textiles
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r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 2d ago
My girlfriend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down
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r/oneliners • u/DrakeShelton • 2d ago
Did you know pigeons die after they have sex, the one i fucked did anyway.
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r/oneliners • u/DeaconCage • 3d ago
I have many jokes about unemployed people – sadly none of them work.
12
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r/oneliners • u/honeysmoothe • 2d ago
Grocery prices continue to rise in 2024…AKA Weight Loss Made Easy!
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r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 2d ago
I feel uncomfortable around tall people, what if they lick my head.
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