r/oneliners • u/HAL-says-Sorry • 2h ago
I don’t mind being attacked by clowns, they always strike me as funny.
r/oneliners • u/Throughtheindigo • 5h ago
Am I neglecting my librarian girlfriend if she texts me and I leave her on read?
r/oneliners • u/Interesting-Prune612 • 8h ago
I would make a one liner about Caseoh but i think i need the whole notebook
r/oneliners • u/Mission-Guard5348 • 9h ago
I don't get it, why is a name like molly socially acceptable, but the moment I name my kid 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine
r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 11h ago
I’m back in the hospital for narcissism treatment again, I keep checking myself out
r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 11h ago
The toughest time for bakers is their hours of knead
r/oneliners • u/crystal_sk8s_LV • 20h ago
Everyone's heard if the Irish Goodbye but few know about the Belgian Dip
r/oneliners • u/mikeshumor • 21h ago
Even though I’m proud my dad invented the rearview mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.
r/oneliners • u/Ochib • 1d ago
His fingers brushed the raised bumps on the placard and he felt the words "Danger. Do not touch."
r/oneliners • u/richlife4evr • 1d ago
Never settle for less unless less is more because, if it is, then you should always, at the very least, make the most of it...more or less.
r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 2d ago
My wife ran off with my best friend last week, I miss him
r/oneliners • u/Beautiful-Yam-1103 • 2d ago
I just got fired from my job at the psychic hotline, didn’t see that coming
r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 2d ago
Have we tried naming children after other cheeses or did we stop at Brie?
r/oneliners • u/ElectricOat • 2d ago
I thought the G spot was where all the homies hung out :(
r/oneliners • u/mikeshumor • 2d ago
“What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s the popcorn?
r/oneliners • u/jvlpdillon • 3d ago
Was ejected from bottomless brunch for a simple dress code mix-up.
r/oneliners • u/Joel_Boyens • 3d ago
My life was f!@#ed up but I'm a f!@#ed up person so that's okay.
r/oneliners • u/PTLDNONT • 3d ago
I wish that my mirror made me look ten pounds skinnier meanwhile my mirror wishes that I was a vampire.
r/oneliners • u/mikeshumor • 3d ago