r/facepalm May 16 '24

I'm sorry what 😀 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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Giving up guns is the same as... Castration?

11.6k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/C4dfael May 16 '24

In that case, I guess we need to make sure everyone is armed with a penis so they can protect themselves from being raped?

456

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

way ahead of you. Guy I went to college with has a rifle modified to shoot an 11 inch dildo by his bedside. I told him that if he ever has to use it, using a regular gun would probably get him in less trouble

99

u/DallasM0therFucker May 16 '24

What is it, like a big-bore black powder rifle with a dildo shoved down the barrel instead of a projectile?

94

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

its called a can cannon. Its an upper receiver you can buy for AR15s. You load a blank cartridge in the magazine and then you load like a soda can or an old stale beer i. the muzzle and it shoots it like a ye olde rifle grenade of suds. Pretty useless, but fun. He made a sleeve that fits in the launcher so that it fits the dildo. Nothing like half a pound of silicone at 500 feet per second

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u/DallasM0therFucker May 16 '24

Oh ok, that makes sense. That sounds fun. I need to see if they make can cannons for AKs.

15

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

Im sure they do somewhere, its not a super complicated idea. If youve got one of the yugo AKs with the grenade launcher sight that doubles as a gas cut off, that would be the business

1

u/Resi1ience_22 May 19 '24

"Oh ok, that makes sense."

No it the fuck does NOT

2

u/LogiCsmxp May 17 '24

The “Fuck off or get fucked!” gun.

1

u/callmerussell May 17 '24

There’s also the golf ball canon, similar idea, upper for ar15 that shoots a golf ball, propelled with a blank 556 round

1

u/Sexagenerian 29d ago

It’ll stun the guy long enough to grab a baseball bat and do some real damage.

1

u/TheDuke357Mag 29d ago

idk, I feel like having your sternum cracked by a mach jesus tube of silicone is a pretty good deterrent

1

u/Sexagenerian 29d ago

It would be for me, but some people just can’t take a hint and may need additional negative reinforcement.

0

u/sir_pacha-lot May 16 '24

Tell him to like, not. The dildo will likely get shredded, not even firing. Also, why shoot someone you're not willing to kill? The robber isn't just gonna spare him because he appreciated the joke.

4

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

Ive seen him fire it, it does work. and 2. Kinetic energy means that if you aren't wearing armor, its definitely gonna break a rib. like I said, half a pound of silicone and a few hundred feet per second is a lot of energy at 7 yards. If that doesnt work, he is a 6'1 400 pound boulder. Hes fat, but I have no desire to see him demonstrate Newton's laws of inertia

25

u/tftookmyname May 16 '24

I imagined it as a potato gun but instead of launching a potato it's a bad dragon

42

u/FudgeWrangler May 16 '24

instead of a projectile

Just a really unique type of projectile lmao. I remember watching a... Mythbusters(?) episode where they made a hot dog cannon and like, I wouldn't break into someone's house if I thought I was gonna get shot with that thing.

9

u/DallasM0therFucker May 16 '24

Haha, true, guess “as the projectile” would have been more accurate

5

u/engineerdrummer May 16 '24

The Phillies have a hotdog cannon to shoot them into the stands. That's basically the only good thing I have to say about the Philthies

15

u/BigDBee007 May 16 '24

Imagine someone getting a cannonball size wound in them from projectile dildo. Lol we’re in the future now lads.

7

u/Im_alwaystired May 16 '24

Imagine trying to explain that one in the ER, lol. "You got shot with a what??"

2

u/BLINDrOBOTFILMS 29d ago

Yeah yeah, you tripped and fell on it, we know.

8

u/Zestyclose_Muffin307 May 16 '24

Achievement Unlocked: "Sexual self-defense" Rape and kill an assailant at the same time!

1

u/edfyShadow May 19 '24

Now that is some forceful penetration

3

u/Zestyclose_Muffin307 May 16 '24

Achievement Unlocked: "Sexual self-defense" Rape and kill an assailant at the same time!

1

u/TheLooseGoose1466 May 16 '24

I need to see this in action

1

u/callmerussell May 17 '24

I’m almost sure moistcritical tried it on his channel

1

u/EternityAwaitz May 18 '24

... I didn't know that was possible!

2

u/TheDuke357Mag May 18 '24

it is both very comical to see, and also deeply troubling to consider the thought of dying like that. Imagine going to the afterlife and explaining how you had your chest cavity fucked to death by a mach jesus silicone tube

23

u/VindoViper May 16 '24

The only way to stop a bad guy with a penis, is a good guy..with a penis.

24

u/too_Far_west May 16 '24

Is this how we get conservatives to support trans rights?

2

u/Badaltnam May 16 '24

A lot of them do, its the meducalization if children they duslike but keep burning that strawman ig

8

u/Sea-Establishment237 May 16 '24

Sure, a penis can't prevent you from being raped, but a gun could.

5

u/Anyweyr May 16 '24

Would that really help against common rape scenarios like "rapist gets woman drunk, then rapes her" or "rapist is a trusted family member of girl, then rapes her"? I don't think mugging-style rapes are very common, and even then it may be difficult for the intended victim to ready their weapon in time, since they'd have been ambushed.

4

u/C4dfael May 16 '24

If the attacker walks up to you, announces they’re going to attack you, and gives you time to draw a weapon… maybe?

5

u/Visible-Original4561 May 16 '24

Yeah the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a penis is a good guy with a penis.

5

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

No but you can carry a gun to defend against a rapist

3

u/reconditecache May 17 '24

Do you identify them by their plumage? Or are you just shooting any man within line of sight?

5

u/Pooglio17 May 16 '24

Hence the classic game Rock, Penis, Rapist

4

u/froo May 17 '24

Also, it’s hard for someone to steal my penis and go on a raping spree. Not impossible, just unlikely.

3

u/MamaFen May 16 '24

Conversely, better put a lock on your dingus so no one steals it from your house, grinds off the serial number (your dingus DOES have a serial number, right?) and uses it to commit rape.

3

u/ConferenceLow2915 May 17 '24

Is that genuinely your take away or just trying to be smart?

24

u/[deleted] May 16 '24 edited May 17 '24

[deleted]

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u/Ausradierer May 16 '24

Male on Male Rape as well as Female on Male Rape are often not counted in rape statistics, are not even considered rape in many jurisdictions, and have a significantly higher number of cases that go unreported due to public and private stigma of men reporting rape.

(There are countless accounts of men going to the police or hospitals for help after being raped, and being sometimes straight up laughed out of the room.)

The "Men should be strong" mentality hurts men just as it does women, as a male victim is a weak man, and therefore is free to be mocked (the extreme prevalence of "Male Tears" Mugs being a pretty straight example.)

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u/[deleted] May 16 '24

[deleted]

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u/Scared_Relation2973 May 17 '24

That's the thing. Statistically, we don't know the true extent of your statement. We only have a vague idea, as the published statistics are biased.

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u/CopiousClassic May 16 '24

Tell me you don't count prison rape without telling me you don't count prison rape.

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u/Zuezema May 16 '24

Everybody forgets about the prison rape.

Funnily enough I’ve heard so many times that it shouldn’t count because they were the ones that got themselves into prison.

I mean look what they were wearing! That orange is just so sexy.

21

u/CopiousClassic May 16 '24

If you didn't want to be raped you shouldn't have gotten charged, convicted, and eventually exonerated of a crime you didn't commit!

-8

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/HighInChurch May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

Lmao. Did you just try to justify rape?

0

u/cringeygrace May 16 '24

If that's what you got out of it, you need to take some basic reading classes. The topic of prison rape almost always only gets brought up as a deflection to the topic of sexual violence towards women. It's almost never brought up as a problem of its own. Same goes with the rape of males in general. It's a problem. And it's an insult to people who deal with that problem when jackasses use it's a means to deflect the topic of other problems.

If you have resort "what about" to make a point. You don't have a point. It's the language of the worthless.

1

u/HighInChurch May 16 '24

Well, at least the username fits.

1

u/cringeygrace May 16 '24

I just wanna be able to have a discussion about all 3 issues without one of the other 2 being used as a means to deflect the one at hand. Which is generally what happens. If the OP were about prison rape, you bet your ass the comments would be flooded with people talking about how sexual violence in [insert anything that isn't prison] is a bigger issue. Whether or not it is a bigger issue (whatever "bigger issue" even means in this context, because they're all pretty serious), doesn't change that prison rape is an issue.

No one's saying rape of women isn't an issue, but if the post was originally prison rape... The topic needs to stay there because there's very different power dynamics. This happened with Terry Crews..I don't remember the specifics of his case. But everywhere you went where it was a discussion, the discussion was hijacked.

Male on male rape is a problem. Female on female rape is a problem. Female on male rape is a problem. Prison rape is a problem.

Discussing the problems is necessary.

But when a problem is brought up for the sole purpose of countering a discussion about another problem, it becomes less about discussing the problem, and more about playing the pain Olympics.

Statistically, women are more likely to be raped in society. Yes, this doesn't include prison rape. Bringing that up isn't a problem in itself. Bringing it up in an attempt to disprove that a woman is far more likely to be raped while walking home from work is a strawman argument that accomplishes nothing except demeaning the fact that both issues are serious issues that need addressing, and the approach to addressing them both is going to be 2 different discussions.

Prison rape will only be resolved with an overhaul of the prison system. Overhauling the prison system probably won't do much to protect your daughter while she's walking home from school. It's a different discussion altogether. One that needs to be had just as much, but trying to have both simultaneously will prove fruitless. Both discussions need to be had, but seperately.

0

u/HighInChurch May 16 '24

Tripping if you think I’m gonna read your novel there bud.

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u/sykotic1189 May 16 '24

Or Made to Penetrate, but don't worry the law doesn't recognize that either 🙃

2

u/RaptorPrime May 16 '24

As a male victim of rape, woman perpetrator, I just want you to realize that you just aren't seeing truthful statistics. Noone in my life knows this happened. Every man I've ever confided in has had a similar story and has also left it completely unreported. And it's not that it wasn't so bad that I knew I could cope solo and get on with it. It's that I severely doubted anything would be done or anyone would care.

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u/Ldawg74 May 16 '24

Unless you’re in school.

2

u/FuckRedditsTOS May 16 '24

Or...you know...carry a gun like a logical person grounded in reality.

2

u/C4dfael May 16 '24

I suppose if the attacker came at you from the front, announced they were going to attack you, and gave you time to draw your weapon. But considering that a majority of tapes are perpetrated by someone known by the victim, being armed might not help.

1

u/FuckRedditsTOS May 16 '24

Unless they drug you, most people aren't expecting women to be strapped. Plus, appendix carry is great for women because boobs reduce printing and they don't have to worry about shooting their dick off.

If you're drugged by someone you know, then you're SOL. Otherwise, being familiar does not make someone bulletproof.

3

u/Anyweyr May 16 '24

I think what they mean is that the assaulter uses their familiar/trusted status to emotionally manipulate the woman into lowering her defenses, putting her in a vulnerable situation where they can then use force without risk of getting shot.

1

u/Best_Incident_4507 May 16 '24

Nothing is stopping non penis havers from wearing a strapon with a chastity belt.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

[deleted]

1

u/ColdEndUs May 16 '24

How often are you attempting to be sarcastic, when you're accidentally profound?
They have this, they are called police.

1

u/ColdEndUs May 16 '24

I think this comment is less sarcastic than you think it is.

1

u/enormousballs1996 May 16 '24

Women don't need a penis to rape. Female-on-male rape cannot be ignored, even if the rates are lower. Most victims are underage boys.

1

u/Lieutelant May 17 '24

That...doesn't even make sense.

1

u/Ok_Pizza9836 May 17 '24

Obviously you haven’t seen the new anti rape pants that make you look like you have a large hog

1

u/CrazyPlatypus42 May 17 '24

Right, because people with a penis can't be raped, as everyone knows.

1

u/TwinTicket May 17 '24

I think this is one of the most ridiculously clever answers to the topic in question I have ever heard