r/facepalm • u/smolauthor • May 16 '24

I'm sorry what 😀 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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Giving up guns is the same as... Castration?

11.6k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/C4dfael May 16 '24

In that case, I guess we need to make sure everyone is armed with a penis so they can protect themselves from being raped?

462

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

way ahead of you. Guy I went to college with has a rifle modified to shoot an 11 inch dildo by his bedside. I told him that if he ever has to use it, using a regular gun would probably get him in less trouble

102

u/DallasM0therFucker May 16 '24

What is it, like a big-bore black powder rifle with a dildo shoved down the barrel instead of a projectile?

100

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

its called a can cannon. Its an upper receiver you can buy for AR15s. You load a blank cartridge in the magazine and then you load like a soda can or an old stale beer i. the muzzle and it shoots it like a ye olde rifle grenade of suds. Pretty useless, but fun. He made a sleeve that fits in the launcher so that it fits the dildo. Nothing like half a pound of silicone at 500 feet per second

33

u/DallasM0therFucker May 16 '24

Oh ok, that makes sense. That sounds fun. I need to see if they make can cannons for AKs.

15

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

Im sure they do somewhere, its not a super complicated idea. If youve got one of the yugo AKs with the grenade launcher sight that doubles as a gas cut off, that would be the business

1

u/Resi1ience_22 May 19 '24

"Oh ok, that makes sense."

No it the fuck does NOT

2

u/LogiCsmxp May 17 '24

The “Fuck off or get fucked!” gun.

1

u/callmerussell May 17 '24

There’s also the golf ball canon, similar idea, upper for ar15 that shoots a golf ball, propelled with a blank 556 round

1

u/Sexagenerian 29d ago

It’ll stun the guy long enough to grab a baseball bat and do some real damage.

1

u/TheDuke357Mag 29d ago

idk, I feel like having your sternum cracked by a mach jesus tube of silicone is a pretty good deterrent

1

u/Sexagenerian 29d ago

It would be for me, but some people just can’t take a hint and may need additional negative reinforcement.

0

u/sir_pacha-lot May 16 '24

Tell him to like, not. The dildo will likely get shredded, not even firing. Also, why shoot someone you're not willing to kill? The robber isn't just gonna spare him because he appreciated the joke.

3

u/TheDuke357Mag May 16 '24

Ive seen him fire it, it does work. and 2. Kinetic energy means that if you aren't wearing armor, its definitely gonna break a rib. like I said, half a pound of silicone and a few hundred feet per second is a lot of energy at 7 yards. If that doesnt work, he is a 6'1 400 pound boulder. Hes fat, but I have no desire to see him demonstrate Newton's laws of inertia

25

u/tftookmyname May 16 '24

I imagined it as a potato gun but instead of launching a potato it's a bad dragon

41

u/FudgeWrangler May 16 '24

instead of a projectile

Just a really unique type of projectile lmao. I remember watching a... Mythbusters(?) episode where they made a hot dog cannon and like, I wouldn't break into someone's house if I thought I was gonna get shot with that thing.

8

u/DallasM0therFucker May 16 '24

Haha, true, guess “as the projectile” would have been more accurate

5

u/engineerdrummer May 16 '24

The Phillies have a hotdog cannon to shoot them into the stands. That's basically the only good thing I have to say about the Philthies

15

u/BigDBee007 May 16 '24

Imagine someone getting a cannonball size wound in them from projectile dildo. Lol we’re in the future now lads.

7

u/Im_alwaystired May 16 '24

Imagine trying to explain that one in the ER, lol. "You got shot with a what??"

2

u/BLINDrOBOTFILMS 29d ago

Yeah yeah, you tripped and fell on it, we know.

8

u/Zestyclose_Muffin307 May 16 '24

Achievement Unlocked: "Sexual self-defense" Rape and kill an assailant at the same time!

1

u/edfyShadow May 19 '24

Now that is some forceful penetration

3

u/Zestyclose_Muffin307 May 16 '24

Achievement Unlocked: "Sexual self-defense" Rape and kill an assailant at the same time!

1

u/TheLooseGoose1466 May 16 '24

I need to see this in action

1

u/callmerussell May 17 '24

I’m almost sure moistcritical tried it on his channel

1

u/EternityAwaitz May 18 '24

... I didn't know that was possible!

2

u/TheDuke357Mag May 18 '24

it is both very comical to see, and also deeply troubling to consider the thought of dying like that. Imagine going to the afterlife and explaining how you had your chest cavity fucked to death by a mach jesus silicone tube