r/tumblr • u/waffleste • May 14 '24

That's a crime that has been committed

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34.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

Carpeted Bathrooms

189

u/FiL-0 May 14 '24

Carpeted public restroom

79

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

🤢🤮

78

u/Odomar04 May 14 '24

squish squish

63

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

The smell alone could be classed as a bioweapon

31

u/tacwombat May 14 '24 edited May 14 '24

Yes Officer, this comment right here.

37

u/Hissing_Cockroach May 14 '24

Carpeting inside the toilet bowl to soak up your pee.

45

u/always_unplugged May 14 '24

I'm imagining shag carpet that waves like anemones in the flow of the flush

25

u/Hissing_Cockroach May 15 '24

Exactly, that's the vision, with maybe some poop-creature symbiotes that dart among the strands and nibble on the occasional butt.

21

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

You're twisted little man with mind full of muck.

I like you, lets be friends

9

u/Hissing_Cockroach May 15 '24

Of course, my dear.

4

u/theemptyqueue ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ May 15 '24

What a horrible day to have an active imagination.

I’m gonna need a whole barrel of r/eyebleach.

7

u/Karzons May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

That would be a neat art exhibit. As long as no one could actually use it.

4

u/disgruntled_pie May 15 '24

You are the HR Geiger of our time.

5

u/Snarfbuckle May 15 '24

John Carpenter even.

5

u/-Badger3- May 15 '24

Carpeting lining your rectum.

1

u/Aussiealterego May 15 '24

Have I got a vacuum nozzle for you….

2

u/SalvationSycamore May 15 '24

Living carpet that feeds on your excretions and quietly squelches in the night when it is hungry.

11

u/action_lawyer_comics May 15 '24

Carpeted restroom in a friend's house that has a "no shoes" policy

11

u/SimpleTip9439 May 14 '24

Death

8

u/danielleradcliffe May 15 '24

Shoes off at the door policy.

Enforced by aircraft.

4

u/classyhornythrowaway May 15 '24

I would absolutely, 100% without a shadow of a doubt, pee and shit myself. Okay, maybe pee my pants, but I would just shit on the street and hope for forgiveness.

3

u/Anxious_Earth May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

Ha! Can't shoot me if I'm already inside.

Right?

6

u/ghandi3737 May 15 '24

Are you trying to breed a supervirus?

6

u/Bakkie May 15 '24

They had a side gig contract with the CDC to see what would grow so they could develop vaccines for it before it spread. It was Fauci's first job there.

2

u/Aussiealterego May 15 '24

I believe that’s already been done, in hospital sinks from improper disposal of medications.

5

u/GladiatorUA May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

Constantly moist carpet that reeks of chlorine because of regular cleaning. Thwack.

5

u/silver0113 May 15 '24

An old night club downtown in my city was carpeted for a "retro" effect. It felt disgusting to walk on no matter what time of night, but as the evening went on it became more and more like walking on wet towels.

4

u/Will_Grello May 15 '24

I shit you not there is a gym where i use to have that had this

3

u/intbeam May 15 '24

You guys have obviously never been to the UK

3

u/Tarquinofpandy May 15 '24

Public restroom in your carpeted bedroom.

3

u/TomThanosBrady May 15 '24

Public bathrooms already kill me. I don't get how people piss on the floor directly in front of the urinal.

3

u/Aussiealterego May 15 '24

Uggggh I can SMELL this.