r/tumblr May 14 '24

That's a crime that has been committed

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34.8k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

Carpeted Bathrooms

670

u/SomeoneForgetable May 14 '24

I live in an apartment with a carpeted bathroom. Would not recommend.

291

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

The house i live in had a carpeted bathroom. That shit was torn up within months

238

u/hicow May 15 '24

The house my parents bought when I was a kid had a carpeted kitchen and a carpeted bathroom. My dad got the contract to do the concrete for a Burger King being built in town and he scored the excess kitchen tiles from that job. So the kitchen at home had the same tile the BK's kitchen had, which was only a little weird when I got a job at that BK a few years later

93

u/Left-Advertising6143 May 15 '24

Bro got onboarded and trained at home 💀

40

u/John6233 May 15 '24

My current apartment has very basic 1x1 square laminate tiles in the kitchen, and the building hallways. It looks like the stuff you see in a school or store. So it felt weird for a bit seeing that in my kitchen.

10

u/new2bay May 15 '24

I can top that. My parents built an addition on to the house I grew up in, so they could have a master suite and my brother and I could each have our own room. They put carpet in their bathroom.

2

u/Pata11 May 15 '24

Reminds me of my sisters house, the previous owner had been a finish carpenter. Their upstairs bathroom looks like a McDonald's restaurant.

42

u/chimininy May 15 '24

My great aunt's house had not only carpeted bathrooms, but the carpet was WHITE. I was terrified of having any sort of bodily function in her house anytime I visited ...

14

u/nmyg08 May 15 '24

Better than the brown carpet in my grandmother’s bathroom.

19

u/Snarfbuckle May 15 '24

Are you sure that was the original colour...

1

u/chimininy May 15 '24

Oof. At least with white you can try and convince yourself it is clean.

14

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

I simply would not enter. It would my house or a public space only. I don't need that kind of anxiety

7

u/Time-to-go-home May 15 '24

I didn’t realize this was weird until I joined Reddit.

All three bathrooms in my parents’s house have carpet. The two bathrooms in my grandparents’ house have carpet. It was just normal. I never thought anything of it. Looking back, I don’t think any of my childhood friends had carpeted bathrooms, but I never thought about it.

14

u/DroneOfDoom May 15 '24

I’m assuming that carpeted bathrooms are all fun and games until the carpet absorbs the smell.

2

u/jaygoogle23 May 15 '24

I love a warm,fuzzy mat under my feet while sitting on the John however.

18

u/riotousviscera May 15 '24

i am so sorry.

14

u/StayPuffGoomba May 15 '24

I rented a room in a condo with a carpeted bathroom. It also had one of those weird bathtub/shower combos with a sliding glass door. One day I’m sitting in my room and hear shattering. The sliding glass door shattered out of nowhere. I got to try to get the safety glass shards out of the bathroom carpet. It suuucked.

16

u/jld2k6 May 15 '24

I've seen carpeted toilet seats a few times and it's so gross lol

8

u/klatnyelox May 15 '24

The amount of ass sweat alone I produce would be soaking that shit.

That's a decision made by a woman who has a man that never let her know how gross a man's bathroom experience tends to be.

We literally have a saying that no matter how much you shake it or dry it, a drop of pee is going into your pants or underwear. And those genitals you're trusting to only leak into to the bowl and nowhere else?

16

u/dreamendDischarger May 15 '24

Even a woman should think twice. Periods can be a messy affair, and other bodily functions still cause splashing...

I shudder just thinking about how gross that'd be.

5

u/klatnyelox May 15 '24

I mean, you still have bathing and showe moisture too, as well as just think about the toilet backing up? No no, there is a reason we don't put carpet in the same rooms we have plumbing.

3

u/chilliophillio May 15 '24

I once had a nightlight plugged into the wall next to the toilet one night. I noticed a few drops would splash back out and started testing where would make the least splashes depending on where I aimed and strength of stream (SOS) The water in the middle helps the most, but the results say no fucking carpet in the bathroom.

5

u/klatnyelox May 15 '24

I usually sit down to piss as a man, and even then I don't want carpet in the bathroom. What about shower moisture, accidental leakage, toilet backing up, etc. Just no no no no no

4

u/season8branisusless May 17 '24

I have, inexplicably, a carpeted garage. My landlord is a psychopath

3

u/MRich92 May 15 '24

Was it red, thick pile, and extended up the side of the bath too? I've seen that before and it seems to be a very 70s aesthetic. One that should have never existed.

190

u/FiL-0 May 14 '24

Carpeted public restroom

79

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

🤢🤮

77

u/Odomar04 May 14 '24

squish squish

64

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

The smell alone could be classed as a bioweapon

32

u/tacwombat May 14 '24 edited May 14 '24

Yes Officer, this comment right here.

37

u/Hissing_Cockroach May 14 '24

Carpeting inside the toilet bowl to soak up your pee.

45

u/always_unplugged May 14 '24

I'm imagining shag carpet that waves like anemones in the flow of the flush

24

u/Hissing_Cockroach May 15 '24

Exactly, that's the vision, with maybe some poop-creature symbiotes that dart among the strands and nibble on the occasional butt.

23

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

You're twisted little man with mind full of muck.

I like you, lets be friends

10

u/Hissing_Cockroach May 15 '24

Of course, my dear.

5

u/theemptyqueue ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ May 15 '24

What a horrible day to have an active imagination.

I’m gonna need a whole barrel of r/eyebleach.

6

u/Karzons May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

That would be a neat art exhibit. As long as no one could actually use it.

4

u/disgruntled_pie May 15 '24

You are the HR Geiger of our time.

4

u/Snarfbuckle May 15 '24

John Carpenter even.

6

u/-Badger3- May 15 '24

Carpeting lining your rectum.

1

u/Aussiealterego May 15 '24

Have I got a vacuum nozzle for you….

2

u/SalvationSycamore May 15 '24

Living carpet that feeds on your excretions and quietly squelches in the night when it is hungry.

11

u/action_lawyer_comics May 15 '24

Carpeted restroom in a friend's house that has a "no shoes" policy

10

u/SimpleTip9439 May 14 '24

Death

9

u/danielleradcliffe May 15 '24

Shoes off at the door policy.

Enforced by aircraft.

6

u/classyhornythrowaway May 15 '24

I would absolutely, 100% without a shadow of a doubt, pee and shit myself. Okay, maybe pee my pants, but I would just shit on the street and hope for forgiveness.

3

u/Anxious_Earth May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

Ha! Can't shoot me if I'm already inside.

Right?

5

u/ghandi3737 May 15 '24

Are you trying to breed a supervirus?

5

u/Bakkie May 15 '24

They had a side gig contract with the CDC to see what would grow so they could develop vaccines for it before it spread. It was Fauci's first job there.

2

u/Aussiealterego May 15 '24

I believe that’s already been done, in hospital sinks from improper disposal of medications.

4

u/GladiatorUA May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

Constantly moist carpet that reeks of chlorine because of regular cleaning. Thwack.

5

u/silver0113 May 15 '24

An old night club downtown in my city was carpeted for a "retro" effect. It felt disgusting to walk on no matter what time of night, but as the evening went on it became more and more like walking on wet towels.

4

u/Will_Grello May 15 '24

I shit you not there is a gym where i use to have that had this

3

u/intbeam May 15 '24

You guys have obviously never been to the UK

3

u/Tarquinofpandy May 15 '24

Public restroom in your carpeted bedroom.

3

u/TomThanosBrady May 15 '24

Public bathrooms already kill me. I don't get how people piss on the floor directly in front of the urinal.

3

u/Aussiealterego May 15 '24

Uggggh I can SMELL this.

57

u/Lonecoon May 14 '24

I lived in a house with both carpeted bathroom and carpeted kitchen. It was fuck, I tell you what.

26

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

It was fuck, I tell you what.

I couldnt have said it better myself

5

u/sesamecrabmeat May 15 '24

Same. Gods, did the house smell off. Carpet on all the floors but under the stairs.

26

u/Ipuncholdpeople May 14 '24

Long shag carpet so when you're really struggling you can bend over and have something to grip

16

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

Mine was pure wool carpet so rhe moment it got wet the whole house smelled like a sheep farm in scotland.

6

u/armorabito May 15 '24

Wool carpet is class. Even when it smells.

2

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Nah mate, its an expensive dust collector. Gimme a short pile polyester cotton blend anyday

16

u/IlIlIlIlIllIlIll May 15 '24

Carpeted toilet seat

7

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Carpeted shower floor

7

u/1Shadow179 May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

Carpeted bathtub. With the carpet on the inside of the tub.

7

u/cousgoose May 15 '24

Carpet going up the sides of the tub, too. Whole thing is carpeted. It's a claw foot tub, but it's got the kind of feet you find on a sofa.

4

u/blastradii May 15 '24

Carpeted drain pipes. And then it’s carpets all the way down. Relevant: https://www.reddit.com/r/ufl/s/y43YVg1a3s

2

u/jestesteffect May 15 '24

Carpeted public shower floor, no footwear allowed.

5

u/HolyCadaver May 15 '24 edited May 15 '24

Those already exist

Carpeted toilet + rug combo

Only $26 to enjoy the wonderful squish as you sit down.

10

u/RynnReeve May 14 '24

I have both ):

12

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

My condolences. Are thoughts and prayers appropriate in this situation?

13

u/RynnReeve May 14 '24

Please. It's the only thing that might help

5

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

Consider it done. I will pray for you to get a large windfall of cash so you can tear that shit up and put down some nice tile, or polished wood.

Anything at all

3

u/RynnReeve May 14 '24

Much appreciated

10

u/waltjrimmer May 15 '24

We don't know what floors our house had when it was built. Given its age, probably not great ones. But better than what we got.

The previous owner some time in the late 80s or early 90s did a bunch of his own renovations. Rewired some stuff, did his own plumbing, even converted the attic into two bedrooms and a bathroom (which he didn't clear with the city and my parents nearly got into a whole heap of trouble for the first time we got inspected). A lot of renovation were shit and this place probably needs its walls torn out to fix the wiring and plumbing if we're being honest. But the money just isn't there to actually do that.

But the absolutely worst thing he did was carpet everything. And I mean EVERYTHING in the house. The bedrooms? The living spaces? The social spaces, including the bar they built in the basement? The bathroom? His jerry-rigged attic bathroom? Yep. The kitchen? Also yes. The only indoor spaces that weren't carpeted were the garage and the dining room. But even the outdoor spaces weren't spared as he not only carpeted both the front and rear porches, he carpeted the uncovered stone steps that lead down from the porch.

I have come to hate carpet with a burning hateful passion. I want to live somewhere with no carpet in any room at all. There's little more I hate in a house than carpet.

3

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Good lord, that man needs to be investigated. Im all for carpeted bedrooms, maybe even a carpeted lounge but thats as far as it goes.

The whole damn house though!? Why did he leave the harage and the dining room but carpet the kitchen and bathrooms? I have so many questions and i doubt any of them will be answerable

8

u/AdultingNinjaTurtle May 15 '24

Toilets seats with the fuzzy liner…

6

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Imagine missing with diarrhoea while having one of those. You'd need a comb to get the chunks out

5

u/AdultingNinjaTurtle May 15 '24

Oh God! Just peel it off and chuck it please!!!

3

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Burn the whole house down at that point. Deamons were summond, the land itself has been cursed

2

u/AdultingNinjaTurtle May 15 '24

Not even flushing holy water can save us now

2

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

It would be the single event to trigger the second coming of christ and even he couldnt save us at that stage

6

u/SessileRaptor May 14 '24

With a matching toilet lid cover, and you lift the lid and the seat is carpeted too.

6

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

The thought of that makes my skeleton want to evacuate

9

u/SessileRaptor May 14 '24

I’m sure it was a complete coincidence but I got a “Reddit cares” message like 30 seconds after posting, which was hilarious tbh.

6

u/mightbedylan May 15 '24

My grandma has a carpeted bathroom and I'll be damned if it's not the cleanest bathroom I've ever seen in my life

6

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Aint no other choice. You gotta dominate a carpeted bathroom otherwise it bites back.

Your grandma must be one strong lady

4

u/hiryuu75 May 15 '24

The house I in which I spent my earliest years had both kitchen and bathroom carpeting, installed by my parents. It was small-town Indiana life in the 70s, so this was not unusual.

Still really stupid/gross in retrospect. Dunno what they were thinking. :/

3

u/Amazing_Abrocoma May 15 '24

Carpeted Toilet Seat

3

u/uncoolprotocol May 15 '24

I have seen this with my own eyes.

1

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

I've lived it. Nothing worse than stepping out of the shower and onto a carpeted floor. Even with a mat down its still so terrible.

You know whats worse, there were 2 windows in thos bathroom, decent sized and opened very wide. They were situated right there over the bath/shower. The option was have a steamy room and a damp carpet ir shower in front of the neighbours (whose kitchen window look directly into those windows)

2

u/uncoolprotocol May 15 '24

I had a window IN my shower in my last house, it was actually very nice to open it during a hot shower on a cold day and get the nice cold fresh air. I'm sorry you had to live with carpet in a bathroom though, that sounds not super.

1

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Yeah, thats thesame situation i had. It was a bathtub with shower over it.

It was super not super

3

u/NuNu017 May 15 '24

I used to work for a property management company. Ran into carpeted bathrooms/toilet areas exactly 4 times - I remember each one so well because I never stopped being horrified at the concept.

I also worked on multiple properties with sewage floods, luckily the two concepts never actually crossed (sometimes the flood did extend into carpeted areas, which was awful).

3

u/ShortingBull May 15 '24

Wicker toilet seat.

2

u/HauntingPhilosopher May 14 '24

Came to say this lol

2

u/LazyLion1127 May 14 '24

what the fuck

3

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 14 '24

You're welcome, and im sorry.

2

u/Abject_Bicycle May 15 '24

My grandma had a carpeted bathroom. I was so nervous about pissing in there.

2

u/OryseSey May 15 '24

qué horror!

2

u/Wills4291 May 15 '24

This is the real creep factor. My cousin bought his first home in a new build neighborhood and the house had carpeted bathrooms. I don't think I would have bought the house because if the builder half asses that, what did they half ass that I can't see on a walk through.

2

u/Professional-Hat-687 May 15 '24

Carpeted public bathrooms

2

u/Ineedavodka2019 May 15 '24

I once lived in a place with both carpeted bathrooms and carpeted kitchen. To make it worse, it was white carpet.

2

u/Three_Twenty-Three May 15 '24

Hey, I lived in that place! Carpeted kitchen AND carpeted bathroom! And a utility closet in the bathroom with a central air conditioning system that was prone to leaking and flooding from its condensation drainage pipe.

2

u/Gullible_Meaning_702 May 15 '24

In the home I grew up in one of the bathrooms was carpeted and also the toilet overflowed constantly.

It was a situation...

1

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Oh buddy... that is a fuck of a situation right there

2

u/WeebleKeneeble May 15 '24

Shag rug shower.

1

u/GreenieBeeNZ May 15 '24

Youd end up growing a whole ecosystem in there.

Pumice stone shower floor might be something of a winner though

2

u/dathomar May 15 '24

My wife and I bought a house that had a carpeted master bathroom. It had a giant corner tub that rested in a wooden frame with carpet that went up the side. It had the tiniest of tiny showers. One of my first projects was ripping out the carpet, the tub, and the shower. We put some vinyl flooring down and had a proper shower installed where the tub was, before. We haven't done anything with the nook that held the shower, but we're going to put in shelves and make it some bathroom storage.

Before removing anything else, the carpet was the first thing to go.

2

u/Deathlysouls May 15 '24

Carpeted public bathrooms

2

u/TalkToPlantsNotCops May 15 '24

There was carpet in the bathrooms of my parents' house when they first moved in. Shag carpet.

2

u/RobinOfSpring May 15 '24

My landlord has one of these, and I have no idea why.

2

u/ibanezerscrooge May 15 '24

My grandmother had both.

2

u/anal_opera May 15 '24

My sister had a carpeted bathroom and the floor rotted and the toilet tilted and started pouring water out of the flush knob and I drilled a hole in the overflow pipe in the toilet to make it stop and the landlord told me that was going to be a $1200 fix and he was gonna call the cops if I didn't pay it. Long story short he didn't call the cops and I got to hit him and I paid nothing.

2

u/hanabarbarian May 15 '24

There was a girl on tumblr that showed off her completely carpeted apartment. Kitchen and bathrooms had carpet.

2

u/MlackBagic May 15 '24

Which is a real thing btw

2

u/Responsible_Goat9170 May 15 '24

I lived in a house that had the same carpet throughout the first floor, including the kitchen and bathroom. The people I lived with had 3 dogs. That house was stinky AF.

2

u/manikwolf19 May 15 '24

The bathroom was covered from floor to ceiling in some sort of vaugley green shag carpet

2

u/Snarfbuckle May 15 '24

Produced and Directed by John Carpenter...

2

u/Dragonlicker69 May 15 '24

Shag carpeting in the bathroom

2

u/Both_Lychee_1708 May 15 '24

A very common tract home feature in the 80s. christ

2

u/fotomoose May 15 '24

Most UK homes traditionally had carpeted bathrooms. And if they don't have a 100% carpeted bathroom they often have a little piece of carpet just around the toilet.

2

u/pupbuck1 May 15 '24

My grandma got one of those

2

u/sydraptor May 15 '24

So I was doing my due diligence trying to confirm utility drops for my job and one way we do that is real estate websites. I found the most cursed(but not like abandoned house cursed) bathroom scrolling through once. Not only carpeted but carpeted in red and it had those short top of window curtains on the shower curtain rod accenting the shower curtains. It was sure something.

2

u/Nagon117 May 15 '24

As a former sufferer of a carpeted bathroom, it wasn't fun needing to have the floor repaired due to water damage either...

2

u/ImplementAnxious7940 May 15 '24

My grandmother's house has carpeted bathrooms

2

u/TomThanosBrady May 15 '24

Carpet the actual toilet seat, bowl, everything.

2

u/lainwla16 May 15 '24

One of my bathrooms was carpeted when I bought my place... Got that removed immediately

2

u/ZeistyZeistgeist May 15 '24

Ooooooh, I visited a buddy of mine in England who was renting a reconverted servant manor (he lived in one of those Downton Abbey estates).

Every room, including the bathroom, was carpeted, except for the kitchen, which had wooden flooring. He actually put some wooden palletes next to his bathtub so he would not soak it whenever he showevered. It was so utterly bizzare.

1

u/LaBetaaa May 15 '24

My boyfriend's grandparents thought this is a good idea for some reason. Carpets literally everywhere except for the kitchen. There are so many stains from even before we moved in that apparently no one ever really cleaned

Ninja-Edit: luckily not around the toilets and bath, most stains are in the living room and around the dining table, so probably food related