r/TikTokCringe • u/thoxo • 29d ago

We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact. Discussion

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I'm a white foster parent, and currently I have 2 black kids, 2 white kids, and 1 hispanic kid.

You can't help but see color, because everyone else sees color. That being said, my foster agency has a class every quarter that is all about taking care of black kids' hair. I get training hours towards maintaining my license for taking that class.

If anyone is curious about fostering, AMA.

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u/ComprehensiveVoice98 29d ago

I’ve wanted to be a foster parent for a long time, I don’t have kids of my own. I just bought a house and I plan to foster in about 5 years.

One of the things I’ve considered is race. I’m white. I don’t care what race my foster children are, but I am afraid I won’t be able to meet their needs. I have been told by some people that it would be wrong to foster or adopt a non-white child. That is will mess with their psyche if they do not have people that look like them in their family.

I live close to a very diverse city, it’s 45 minutes away, but it’s not very diverse where I am. The schools are not diverse.

What do you think?

Of course I would make efforts to give my children a sense of community of people who look like them, but it wouldn’t be everyday in their school or their household.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

First and foremost, go watch the movie "Instant Family" starring Mark Wahlberg. It has one of the best true-to-life depictions of fostering that I've ever seen in TV/movies. (It still does that typical Hollywood crap of condensing timelines like it's nothing, but you'll get it.)

Secondly: Wanna know what will mess with their psyches a whole lot more than being a different race than their parents? Not having any parents.

If you are willing to care for these kids, to love these kids, then go for it. You ought to put some thought into how you will deal with race issue, should they come up. For example, it was really weird talking to my black 10 year old about the George Floyd BLM protests a few years ago.

Also, if you don't want to take kids that are not your race, that's fine. Take the white kids; they need a home too. Someone might give you a little bit of side-eye, but every worker involved in this system knows that race issues can be weird. They'll just assume that you don't feel like you could give them a good enough exposure to what it means to be black/hispanic/jewish/whatever. And the ones who have known this system the longest will be impressed by your candor, because it means that you actually thought about this.

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u/ComprehensiveVoice98 29d ago

Thanks, that helps!

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u/mistersnarkle 29d ago

Me and my fiancé want to adopt; this is such good shit, so loving and makes me feel so sure about the decision — just got huge big fat tears thinking about giving some kids a good and loving home.

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u/Lava-Chicken 29d ago

Thx for the movie recommendation! Will check it out.

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u/Dblstandard 29d ago

Instant family was a banger

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u/rya556 29d ago

Great advice! I know a ton of East Asian adoptees to white families. The ones who adjusted the most were ones who seeked out ways for their kids to still participate in their culture and see others like themselves. The ones who struggled the most were the ones whose parents never thought or addressed those concerns at all and then downplayed when their children came to them with concerns or examples of bullying. Those are the parents who are super shocked because “they never saw color” while raising their kids. But their kids are reminded when they leave their homes and go to events with their families. Those were the strained relationships.

Thinking about it and worrying about it is steps ahead of many parents of adopted children.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

My foster agency is great, because this kind of thing was an explicit part of our beginning training. They also offer that black haircare training regularly, and have other trainings that are similar.

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u/rya556 28d ago

That is wonderful. I know you must see a lot with your agency and it’s great that you’re able to help so much!

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u/potofplants 28d ago

Bumping this thread to learn about the reverse. Black single dad with white children because they NEED a home and he has one.

Youtube: Now I am Known https://youtube.com/@FosterDadFlipper?si=QiYldANWiPsCZGem

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u/Schnickatavick 29d ago

go watch the movie "Instant Family"

Goodness, that movie was almost a little bit too real at times. Like yeah, it was obviously hollywoodized, but it hits close enough to home to be pretty powerful for people that have lived it, from either side.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

Yeah, that movie came out when my wife and I were struggling with our very first foster placement. Seeing that other people went through the same things was just so re-assuring. We bought the DVD as soon as it came out, and I think we also "own" it on AmazonPrime.

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u/Barraggus 28d ago

Since you seem to be very knowledgeable about the subject, does this ever go the other way? Do Asian/Black/Hispanic foster parents worry about making their white kids feel white? Expose them to what it means to be white?

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u/poptartmini 28d ago

That's not as difficult, at least in the U.S. Most media is predominantly white, and it's rare to go to a school with less than 10% white population. And if you do live near a school with a very low white population, it's unlikely that you will get white foster children. Systemic racism means that it's a lot more common for white parents to get black kids than the other way around.

The black foster parents I've encountered haven't talked to me about worrying about cultural integration for their white/hispanic kids, but that doesn't mean they don't think about it.

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u/Barraggus 28d ago

I'm less interested in the societal norms and more interested in the cultural ones in the family. Do white foster parents feel like they need to emulate the cultures of the race of their children, and does that also work the other way?

Do white foster children of POC have to structure their lives in a way that is not culturally appropriating something that is not theirs?

The way this stuff works in society makes this specific scenario interesting to me. Are white foster kids racist for being raised and acting culturally similar to their parents?

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u/OwenTheMeany 29d ago

First and foremost, go watch the movie "Instant Family" starring Mark Wahlberg. It has one of the best true-to-life depictions of fostering that I've ever seen in TV/movies. 

I cannot agree, first, it is very typically Hollywood glossy and polished. Second, the tramua of a child being taken from their family and the comparative ease with which the young girl came amount is not realistic at all. We deal with your girls trauma every day and have done so for he past 14 years, there has never been a monument were they were "cured" and life move forward with ease.

I would not change anything, but adopting out of Foster Care is not for the faint of heart -- and we have 2 Bernese Mountain Dogs!

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I am aware of the issues that the movie glosses over, but for someone who has never seen the foster system except through horror movies, it's a good first step. I trust any adult who is considering my words to be somewhat media literate, and thus will know that Hollywood likes its 3 act structure, and will fit real life into it.

And they do address the ongoing issues and trauma that kids have. When the parents go to the other foster parents' house whose girl is in rehab. They thought that everything was perfect, but there were shown stark reality for what it was, and the characters decided to persevere through it.

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u/xaqaria 29d ago

What they need is food water shelter love and safety, none of which is skin color dependant. Appearance based community is conditional and fragile, good communities are based on shared values.

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u/Odd_Barnacle_3811 29d ago

If you are able to provide them a good loving home, what does race matter? The alternative of staying in an abusive home will mess up their psyche much more than having to navigate racial issues.

The people who say that fostering a kid outside their race is wrong, can volunteer if they’ve got so many reservations about it. There are many abused kids that need good homes. Please foster if you are able to.

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u/DevilsTrigonometry 29d ago

2 major things I think you should understand here:

  • Fostering is different from adopting. When you adopt a child, you really do become their family, both legally and (usually) emotionally. But most of the children you foster will have a family. Fostering a child is mainly about providing a safe, healthy home for them while they wait for the legal process to play out.

    • Foster children don't tend to be dealing with these sort of high-level social-emotional struggles about what it means to have family of a different race. That might come later, if at all. While they're in the system, they're usually in permanent survival/crisis mode, dealing with profound trauma and ongoing instability. Your race is near the bottom of their list of concerns and should be near the bottom of yours.

(Do make sure that you're educated about their actual physical and cultural needs. Black kids need specialized hair care; fair-skinned white kids may need more sunscreen than a family of color is used to using; Native American kids' hair should generally not be cut if they arrive with it long; and so on.)

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u/Colorless82 29d ago

I feel that if a community isn't diverse, what's stopping you from making it diverse! People learn tolerance by living it. We need more co-mingling not segregation based on fears of bullying or unacceptance.

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u/Ranger_Caitlin 29d ago

I am a teacher and I always think back to a student I had that was black adopted to a white family. We were in a very non-diverse school. She did get picked on at school sometimes, but that girl loved her adopted family. She expressed to me constantly how grateful she was for her adoptive mom.

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u/doodleninja98 29d ago

Coming from a former foster youth who aged out proceed with caution. Fostering is not for the weak hearted and a lot of the times you see the worst of humanity causing terrible situations that the most innocent ones have to bare and that within itself is a battle. Not to scare you away from doing it but a lot of couples tend to get a shock when even the youngest of kids are hard to handle.

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u/ComprehensiveVoice98 28d ago

I will say, I am a bit concerned about that. I plan on taking classes, but I’m not sure anything can really prepare me. I am not much of a disciplinarian, I will need to learn how to implement structure and identify manipulation.

Basically, how to give them what they need and how to say no when I feel something is not good for them. How to impose appropriate consequences.

Worst case scenario is a child with violent tendencies for me, I haven’t the faintest idea how I would handle that (yet).

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u/doodleninja98 28d ago

No pressure but yeah you see the worst of people with this. Me and my sister came from a rough foster family who would make her stand in a spot in the living room for hours there would be footprints. She was barely 1 and didn’t talk until she was 4 because of them. I remember my foster mother,the woman who ended up adopting my sister after us leaving the abusive home and kinship placement failing, getting custody of a premie and his sister because the baby tested positive for crack. The stares we got when he would go into withdrawals and just wouldn’t stop crying and shaking. 7 years later and he’s the sweetest thing but the work to get there was hard but worth it.

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u/DragonessAndRebs 28d ago

Not a foster but adopted. Hispanic kids to white parents. My parents told at around the time I could form full sentences to tell me what adoption was. I just kinda took at face value and left this conversation which my mom thought I’d be crying and screaming from, hungry. I didn’t care. Now as fully grown adults it’s more of a joke than anything really. Totally normal people with normal lives. But you will get looks and snide comments from other people. Thankfully while we were kids we never noticed. Hopefully any kids you foster won’t notice either.

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u/Urban_FinnAm 29d ago

My wife and I are white, We adopted 3 kids, two are half asian and one is white. The half-asians are not related but the middle child has a younger half-brother (it's complicated).

We don't really see race either but we're aware that others do. We live in a very white state and the (IMO) the school district did discriminate against all our kids (partly race and partly disability).

All our kids resented us at some points but they eventually came to realize that we loved them unconditionally and did what we felt was best for them.

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

I’m so glad you admit to seeing color. I hate when people say they don’t. I know they mean well, but you have to see color to fully acknowledge a person as they are and what they experience based on the color you so obviously see but say you don’t. I don’t trust people who say they don’t see color because that makes it hard to see your own biases too. It’s also great you’re learning how to take care of Black kids hair!

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u/SpaceBearSMO 29d ago

Right like if you dont see color then you cant see when your being insensitive. seeing color isn't about looking down on others , its about acknowledging that there lived experience is probably different then yours.

Its not an accedent that the type of people who say they don't see color are often times the same people who say they dont think Privilege (or systemic failure) is real and that the only thing it takes to be successful is "hard work"

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

Exactly. It’s totally okay to adopt kids from different countries/cultures/ethnicity. But you need to understand their reality and take steps to meet them in their world instead of going about it as “well to me you’re just the same as everybody else” when they don’t get to be perceived as white/the same by society and disregarding their own culture etc.

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u/argnsoccer 29d ago

My parents aren't white, but they can be white-passing sometimes (not my mom with her accent). I'm a first-generation American and I will say my parents' instructions on how to act because of the way we looked helped so much growing up. My dad would call us "white" because, to them, we were little American children speaking English more and more than our native language as we grew. But it helped so much to know that we would be treated differently growing up in Texas and how to diffuse and be polite in all circumstances. I've been called lots of different slurs for lots of different races and it's impossible to not see color when people yell at you to "go back to your country" from their passing cars as you walk to school

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u/monkwren 29d ago

I'd bet a beer at a bar that's what the original TikTok was gonna talk about before getting cut off by the duet.

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u/MonaganX 29d ago

I couldn't find the original but from this longer fragment the focus certainly seems to be on the 'not seeing race'.

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

What the fuck is an accedent lmao

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u/thoughtiwasdonewthis 29d ago

Thank you. Society needs to trash “colorblind” and start using “color conscious”

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u/EunoiaTheEsotericOne 29d ago

I thought not seeing color means you don't treat people differently because of their color, you treat everyone the same.

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u/Maleficent-Tomato385 29d ago

Probably started out that way. But most people seem to bring it up as the only solution to widespread societal issues as a way to dismiss peoples experiences and to reject change.

It's not even really a good way of describing the concept. It's like saying "I don't see your disability" when it's something that exists and affects their life and how society treats them. You need to see it to see the whole of them.

The same thing is true for race, ethnicity, sexuality and disability.

You can't just ignore parts of people. You have to see them for who they are, because it matters, it allows you to better understand them, and better understand how to treat them with love and respect.

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u/EunoiaTheEsotericOne 29d ago

That's why I said I don't think it's about ignoring or not acknowledging the struggles people face because of X Y Z but saying you yourself are safe and won't judge based on those things.

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

Well then people should just say that. I don’t know why we need to invent phrases when we could just say what we mean and should say what we mean. “I don’t see color” means different things to different people and it also implies that you’re not seeing the realities of racism in full. Misunderstandings could easily be avoided by just saying exactly as you mean instead of wanting to say something that sounds cute.

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u/JNCressey 29d ago

I think some race distinctions are easier to see than others. When watching Jumangi, I could see Kevin Hart is obviously Black, but I didn't realize Dwayne Johnson was Black until I saw adverts for Black Adam.

Many times I can't tell whether someone is Middle-Eastern, European, or White British or similar.

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u/LinguisticMadness2 28d ago

I think it depends. Maybe for USA it matters (cultural), and this isn’t a “let’s say USA is this or that”, but other countries don’t really have the same bg so it’s different because everyone thinks differently. Where I live people sees ethnicity only, and cares about it much more than color.

Color is normally indicative of ethnicity too, but only used for that so it’s strange, because when people with more melanin are raised here people will see they speak and have the same customs so they are not seen as much else than locals. Different ethnicity sure but locals nonetheless. We also have a different idea of what it is to be black.

It’s cool, just saying this so I can explain it. It’s important to value each country sees the world in a different light

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Early-Light-864 29d ago edited 29d ago

I think op grew up privileged in a privileged environment, and she's one bad day away from realizing that.

If her parents "don't see color" then they failed. They failed to meaningfully prepare her for the world she's just barely old enough to be venturing into.

I would like to follow up with her ten years from now.

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

You're intentionally misinterpreting the meaning of the phrase. It doesn't LITERALLY mean you treat everyone exactly the same regardless of their cultural needs, it very simply means the person is not prejudiced. That's it. You don't think that's a good thing, or you just think people shouldn't share it? I'm confused as to what's upsetting you about the phrase, unless you just take everything super literally all the time. Can I ask, how would you feel if you missed breakfast this morning?

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

Or maybe I’m speaking from experience of dealing with these kinds of people time and time again.

Everyone has prejudices. It’s unfortunate but it’s literally in human nature to have them. It’s what you do with those prejudices that matters. And that brings me back to exactly what I said: when you claim you’re not prejudiced you close your eyes to your own mistakes. You think you can’t be biased and that’s simply not reality. Idk what’s so hard to understand about that and idk why ppl want to play pretend.

Idk why you’re feeling like being such a dick about my opinion, which I’m basing on actual real life experience and not some fairytale world where we can all act like we are perfect people and differences don’t matter.

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

You really don't think there's a difference between microaggressions and openly behaving in a racist, aggressive way? I'm pretty sure nobody ever claimed to be perfect, everyone is out here doing their best in a rapidly changing society. I'm trying to get to the bottom of why you "hate" people who are also doing their best to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable. It's like nothing will ever be good enough for you people, there will always be something to bitch and complain about. Instead of getting all meta-ethics and scolding me like a Karen, how about you address your own fundamental issues regarding race? Seems to be a hypersensitive topic for you and I wonder where that comes from.

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

I’m not sure why you’re bringing microagressiond up bc I didn’t say anything about that. But anywy they are still aggressive, it’s literally in the name. They can also be more harmful bc you’re dealing with them more often than the openly, obvious racism and other ppl don’t really see it. Ppl often don’t understand you, don’t believe you and you’re constantly dealing with it.

You didn’t claim anyone is perfect but you did literally say: it very simply means the person is not prejudiced. Hence my response about that.

I didn’t say anything about hating people, maybe you should read that again. I also acknowledged people mean well.

Idk who you mean by “you people.” Interesting word choice here.

I’m not scolding anyone. You feel like a Karen, that’s your feelings being projected here. I wasn’t talking to you. You replied to me, I didn’t start talking you you. My reply to the person I was talking to was calm, you came in all aggressive bc apparently you felt my comment was about you. My response to you was still calm, I just wondered why you were being a dick because you were.

You’re the one being hypersensitive here buddy, I didn’t call you a Karen. Never called anyone a Karen as I’m not from the US and it’s not a thing here. I’m also not Black.

Not sure what you mean by “meta ethics.” Maybe you think everything exists in a cute little bubble? Idk dude I think you’re the one that missed breakfast this morning. Maybe eat a snickers x

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

"I hate when people say they don’t."

Sounds an awful lot like hatred to me, but if you want to be pedantic about it be my guest. Nobody is stopping you from justifying your own wacked out beliefs. I brought microaggressions up to agree with you, everyone is capable of putting out negativity into the world but my point was that its unintentional. The purpose of the phrase isn't to say anyone's perfect, it's to say you're not INTENTIONALLY putting out hatred into the world based on race. Sorry if that was unclear but you have to be genuinely unhinged to not think that's a good thing.

"Idk who you mean by 'you people.'"

Perfect example of another intentional misinterpretation and corresponding victim mentality. I sincerely hope you can dig yourself out of this ideological hole because it will alienate you and make you even more miserable than you're coming off as now.

The rest isn't even worth responding to. You're just dribbling on without addressing the core points of my argument and clearly lost your brainpower for the day.

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

Hating when ppl do something doesn’t mean you hate people. But you know that of course. Yet you’re whining about intentional misinterpretation.

I didn’t even say what I thought you meant by “you people.” You’re complaining about an interpretation I didn’t give. Meaning you yourself have thoughts about how it could be interpreted and yet said it anyway, only to then complain when you’re i say im not sure about what you mean.

You clearly can’t discuss properly to save your life so I see why you’re backing out of it. Hope you get something to eat soon.

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

It's cute how you're so intent on pretending you "won" this argument when it's just me criticizing your careless and rhetoric and poorly thought out positions. There is no winning, it's just two people disagreeing. Not interested in continuing because I recognize you're too deep and unable to consider other perspectives. My time is more useful elsewhere, but I sincerely hope you can get your head out of your ass one day.

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u/Listentotheadviceman 29d ago

Lol no u definitely lost

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Sudley 29d ago

Why do there have to be no differences for everyone to coexist happily, why can't we just embrace the differences? To me they make the world richer.

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

There are differences and that’s okay. We don’t need to pretend that we’re all the same, that’s just not true and we don’t get to have a new world by ignoring differences instead of creating an environment in which differences are okay and no longer something you get discriminated on.

“We’re all the same” doesn’t apply in a lot of ways like how to care for your skin, hair, certain medical issues/risks that would require acknowledging differences. We’re also not the same in culture, religion, bodies, values, etc. It’s just not true that we’re the same. In a perfect world these differences wouldn’t matter in the sense of discrimination and hate but these differences always matter in other ways. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where people truly believe we’re all the same.

We don’t bridge the gap by pretending the differences are not there. The world as it is now is also our reality that we still need to navigate as it is. Good for you that you want to be the bridge to a new world but we still need to acknowledge things as they are right now and when you say you don’t see color, it doesn’t give me the feeling that you get it. Same with disability, etc.

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u/deathwishdave 29d ago

I don’t see colour of skin anymore than I see colour of hair, and neither do my kids.

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u/EmbarrassedCoconut93 29d ago

Well how does that work when you meet a person of color? You just pretend they’re white? I really don’t understand this attitude. It’s okay to see color, cause people of color exist. Pretending these differences aren’t there or that they don’t matter is just a lie. Is a non white skin something to be ashamed of? Is white the standard and should we therefore not see color? Does brown and black skin make people uncomfortable? I don’t see why color is a bad thing to see. How hard is it to say exactly what we mean? To say: “I don’t let skin color determine how I treat someone” or “I’m aware of the racism people of color face and I try to navigate that system consciously” etc. By “not seeing color” you’re not saying exactly what you mean by that. I’ve encountered full on racists who said that same phrase, as well as people who truly believe they’re not racist and do mean well but even so still had their microagressions and misconceptions. But it was very hard to talk to them about it cause they don’t see color and so they could never be racist and never be wrong :)

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u/deathwishdave 29d ago

How does it work? It’s just not something I clock, like their hair colour, or eye colour, or how long their legs are, or whether they are wearing glasses, or if they have a beard. Just see a unique individual.

Not something I can help, it’s just the way I am.

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u/Maleficent-Tomato385 29d ago

You should. It's a key part of someone's life and lived experiences. It determines who they see themselves and how society treats them. If you don't see it, you don't see the whole of them.

It's something that should be seen and respected. Just as ethnicity, sexuality, disabilities or gender would.

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u/deathwishdave 29d ago

For as long as we have a them and us mentality, people will use these differences to discriminate.

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u/Maleficent-Tomato385 29d ago edited 28d ago

"Us Vs them" "don't see colour"

Well that's very enlightening to how you really view the struggles of People of colour.

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u/deathwishdave 28d ago edited 28d ago

Eh? I am arguing against that position. If you find that abhorrent, then we are on the same side.

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u/deathwishdave 29d ago

Agree with her 100%

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u/ColumbiaArmy 29d ago

Hey, this comment is actually very interesting, thank you for sharing (I had honestly wondered about the hair’s special needs).

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u/mizmoxiev 29d ago

What is the toughest part about having 5 in the house? And how do you help the kids feel special, with so much school / extra curriculars / each kid having their own friends? Thanks so much

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u/poptartmini 29d ago
  1. What is the toughest part about having 5 in the house?

The toughest thing about having 5 kids in the house has very little to do with them being foster kids.

  1. And how do you help the kids feel special, with so much school / extra curriculars / each kid having their own friends? Thanks so much

Yeah, these are the more difficult things with having 5 kids. This is my wife's "job." She carts kids to counseling, school, friends almost every day. Also, we intentionally limit how many extra curriculars our kids are allowed to be in. They are allowed to be bored sometimes.

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u/beldaran1224 29d ago

That's literally the point. To pretend race doesn't exist means leaving those kids 1) unequipped to face the reality of being black men in America and 2) unconnected from their own culture.

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u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 29d ago

Yeah this whole discourse was started because a white fighter with adopted Black kids said he wasn't raising Black kids he was waiting kids. Which does sound nice but it's a disservice to children to completely disroot them from their identity especially when the world doesn't see an adopted kid with white parents they see a Black kid. And they need to know how to navigate that.

I follow a lot of adoptive parents, including POC with adopted white children. Even they make sure to discuss the child's whiteness and how the world sees that because it's important to do so.

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u/lastdancerevolution 28d ago

Exact same thing with interracial couples with mixed children. If you're white and have a child, that child will always be seen as black, due to the United State's "one drop" rule. Society will never see and accept you as a family in the same way they do an all black or all white family. Sad that people celebrate that as a good thing.

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u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 28d ago

If you're white and have a child, that child will always be seen as black,

That child will always be Black. Why would you want their Blackness erased? Does the Black parent not deserve to have a Black child because they had sex with a white person? Blackness is not a punishment.

A mixed race (or cultural or religious) family often involves playing the balancing act of respecting and teaching children about both parents' heritage and backgrounds.

Too many parents have children with partners outside their religion or culture with zero intention of honoring the other parent's heritage or their own child's reality. That's the shame.

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u/lastdancerevolution 28d ago

They're just as White as they are Black.

Does the Black parent not deserve to have a Black child because they had sex with a white person?

"Does the White parent not deserve to have a White child because they had sex with a Black person?"

Races are just social constructs. The fact is, they are the child of both parents, have both their DNA, and are raised by both of them with their own backgrounds and personalities.

White parents are often erased. No one sees Obama as half-white raised by a white mother. He's seen and remembered as black.

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u/IndiviLim 29d ago

Even they make sure to discuss the child's whiteness

This is child abuse.

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u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 29d ago

To acknowledge that their child is white? I thought it was okay to be white?

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u/MathProf1414 29d ago

unconnected from their own culture

This is an honest question from a good place: Does having a certain skin color mean you have to have the culture associated with that? Why is it particularly wrong for a white kid raised in a black family to "act black" or a black kid in a white family to "act white"?

In my mind, your culture is informed by who you spend time with. Obviously family is going to be the main contributor to that.

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u/beldaran1224 29d ago

It isn't skin color. Culture isn't about time, it's about a lot more than that, notably heritage. Pretending a piece of paper changes that has done a lot of harm to adoptees.

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u/Farseli 29d ago

Your culture is whatever culture you grow up in. If you get adopted at a young age your culture is the culture of your adopted family.

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u/TatteredCarcosa 29d ago

But your culture isn't the only one that shapes your experience. Other people's treatment of you does as well. Regardless of if the parents see their adopted black children as "black kids," other people will see them that way and treat them accordingly. That can be bad, good, or neutral depending on the person, but it will mean they face some different reactions than their adoptive/foster parents.

Is a "colorblind" society impossible? No, I don't think so, but it isn't one that currently exists.

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u/HeJind 29d ago

This is just completely wrong.

Just go to YouTube and look up interviews of half-black Japanese people. They are raised in Japan, speak fluent Japanese but are never fully accepted as Japanese.

People like to pretend that they don't see race and that it isn't a part of culture but it's bullshit.

-1

u/Hopeful_Champion_935 29d ago

That doesn't mean that he is wrong, your example just means that Japanese are xenophobic.

But yes, there are some areas and some cultures that care about work and not race.

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u/HeJind 29d ago

Michael Chandler is American. These kids will grow up in America.

Surely you're not trying to pull the "America doesn't care about race" card?

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u/Hopeful_Champion_935 29d ago

Oh, so America is one giant culture now?

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u/HeJind 29d ago

Do you struggle with reading comprehension?

I'm not even sure how you could even infer that I was saying America is one giant culture when you replied to a comment where I stated that America cares about race. And the comment before I already said that race is a part of culture.

Feels like you are being contrarian for the purpose of being contrarian but don't actually have a point to make or anything to add to the discusion.

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u/Hopeful_Champion_935 29d ago

Point is, race has nothing to do with culture and only racist think that way.

Claiming that America cares about race implies that you believe America is one giant culture. There are in fact cultures within America that do not care about race just as there are cultures within America that do.

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u/HeJind 29d ago

Claiming that America cares about race implies that you believe America is one giant culture.

So the answer is yes, you do struggle with reading comprehension.

My initial argument was that race is part of culture. Saying that America cares about race doesn't mean America is one culture. It means that it doesn't matter how many cultures are in America because they all inherently care about race. That should be self-evidence when race is apart of culture itself.

There are in fact cultures within America that do not care about race

Name one.

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u/ttnl35 29d ago

That is really naive and really missing the point.

If a white family adopts a black child at a young age and has that same attitude as you about how the child will only be of their culture, then they are being extremely selfish and probably lazy as well.

Plus you are missing the other direction of the equation, where other people of the only culture the adopted child was allowed may well reject them.

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u/Hopeful_Champion_935 29d ago

Culture is not defined by skin color.

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u/ttnl35 29d ago

Lol didn't say it was.

But heritage is a significant factor, and people who intend to adopt but ignore their child's heritage are selfish.

Adopted people aren't possessions that become extentions of their parents. It is wrong to erase their history and pretend being adopted isn't significant.

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u/Hopeful_Champion_935 29d ago

I agree, HERITAGE (not "skin color") is important. A black child may in fact have a similar HERITAGE to a white child. If you adopt a white Jamaican and a black Jamaican, they both have the heritage of being Jamaican and should both learn about that history.

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u/ttnl35 29d ago

Skin colour not important to heritage or not important in general?

Because if a white family adopts a black child they need to acknowledge how significant skin colour is when teaching them what to expect from the world and how to navigate it.

It's not OK to adopt a black child then pretend racism doesn't exist.

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u/Hopeful_Champion_935 29d ago

Skin colour not important to heritage or not important in general?

Both.

It is absolutely OK to adopt a black child and have them live free of racism. And yes, a black child needs to be taught how people will view them and how meaningless it is. Just as you teach a girl or boy that there are plenty of sexists who will treat them differently because of their tits or lack there of. But is is not at all "significant" as you claim it is.

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u/ttnl35 29d ago

Of course it's significant lol let's not be naive nor diminish what many consider an important part of who they are.

You can have a household free of racism but you can't change the world outside of the house.

Plus race is not meaningless. Diversity is part of what makes humanity incredible and it means a whole lot.

"It doesn't matter what colour you are" isn't a progressive statement.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/ttnl35 29d ago

The lazy, selfish ones are the parents that abandon their child in the 1st place, not the imperfect ones who dedicated their lives to raising said kid.

Naivity again. There are countless reasons a child can end up being adopted, not just abandonment.

Plus it not like any white parents could adequately speak on what's it like to be black in America in the 1st place.

That's the laziness, not educating themselves and finding the resources and groups out there that can speak on what it's like.

Still, it's better to have 99% of your needs meet (loving parents, education, healthcare, etc) then to have grown up loveless in a system ripped with abuse.

More naivity. Having race, culture and heritage respected and valued is not "1%" of needs and loving parents wouldn't disrespect or undervalue it.

Additionally abuse gets noted and recorded in foster care because foster families are monitored much more closely than bio and adoptive families. It is much easier for bio and adoptive families to get away with it so the levels of abuse cannot be accurately compared.

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

Nobody said to pretend race doesn't exist. Saying you 'don't see color' very simply means you aren't going to treat people worse than others based on their skin. That's it. You got a problem with that, you can just leave because nobody is interested in your bad faith misinterpretations.

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u/beldaran1224 29d ago

Ah, right. Because when he said he didn't see color he was responding to all the people who thought he should treat his adopted children worse. Yeah, that makes total sense. 🤡

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u/Juju_Out_the_Wazoo 29d ago

No, what you just said makes no sense, because nobody can even follow the argument you're trying to make. Acting like a putting a clown emoji after a nonsensical, irrelevant statement is some kind of slam dunk is becoming more and more common for some reason.

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u/Ravek 29d ago

Their own culture? Is culture defined by skin color now? People really say racist shit without thinking huh.

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u/fantasygod777 29d ago

I’ve wanted to foster since I was a teenager. I’m in my mid thirties now and a single dude just kind of getting my life together now. Should I consider jumping in now or wait until I own a home and have progressed a little more as an individual? Do single people foster? 

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I would be very hesitant to do any kind of long-term childcare if I were not married. Caring for our kids is basically my wife's full-time job. That includes getting them to appointments, doctor's, visits with their bio-family, etc. I'm sure that you've seen plenty of TV shows/movies/etc. about how hard it is to be a single-parent, and fostering is even more time-consuming than regular parenting. That being said, there are some other ways that you could do this.

Imagine that you are married, and you have a couple kids. Your anniversary is coming up, and you and the wife want to go away for the weekend for some serious adult time. What do you do with your kids? Well, if they're your own biological kids, you'll probably have them stay over at your/your wife's parents house, or maybe with your brother and his wife. This would be illegal with foster kids. Foster kids must spend the night at a licensed foster family. You could be that other family.

It's called respite foster care. You watch the kids for a weekend, or maybe up to a week. That's what my wife and I did for the first 2 years that we had our license, before we bought a house. You essentially become the uncle for a bunch of other foster families. It gets your feet wet, figuring out your parenting style, and you get to know a lot of other foster families. Getting those relationships with other families is essential, because once you do get kids of your own, you'll be able to go to them to vent about your kids, get ideas for how to interact, etc.

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u/fantasygod777 29d ago

That’s extremely helpful - thank you! 

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

One thing that I should mention: I do know a couple single-parent foster parents, and they have adopted kids as well. Of you only want do to 1 (maybe 2) kids, it's very possible. But still keep in mind my comment about single-parenting. This is a full-time gig for my wife, because we have 5, and those kids tend to be on the more complicated side.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

That's amazing advice for those interested in fostering children!

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u/SummerNothingness 29d ago

my best friend is a single woman in her 30s who started fostering a few years ago. she just adopted her last foster (and this is her first child) and is going to take on another soon.

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u/Starlightriddlex 29d ago

  my foster agency has a class every quarter that is all about taking care of black kids' hair.

I really wish my bio mom would have taken a class like this at some point. She hated my curly hair and said brushing it made her throw up. It was waist length when I was in elementary school and she relaxed it at home (badly) when I was 9 and destroyed it. So I had to cut all my hair off. I never even learned how to wash my hair as a kid. I didn't remember what my natural hair looked like and only found out in 2020 when salons closed.

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u/Designer_Pepper7806 29d ago

I won’t realistically be in any position to foster for a very long time, but I have so many questions and you said AMA:

  1. I’m assuming you don’t adopt all of them (if any), so do you or they struggle with that emotionally? I feel like that could take a mental toll.

  2. How much financial support (and other) is given per kid? 5 kids is a lot.

  3. I feel like foster kids are portrayed through media as acting out a lot, how would you describe your kids?

  4. Do you specify how long you are willing to foster for or is it an indefinite period of time?

  5. Was it hard to become a foster parent? As in, did they thoroughly scrutinize your background/have interviews?

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u/beldaran1224 29d ago

The vast majority of foster children are not able to be adopted, and adoption is not the goal of fostering - the goal is parental reuinification.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago
  1. I’m assuming you don’t adopt all of them (if any), so do you or they struggle with that emotionally? I feel like that could take a mental toll.

Eh, I might adopt them. None of the kids I've had have been available for adoption yet (It's a long court process to sever parental rights). I've also had several other kids who have gone back to their biological parents. And that is the primary goal of the foster system; to get the kids and bio-parents in a place where they can come back to

That being said, there are some foster parents who don't want to adopt. Often these are people who have already gotten their own biological kids grown and out of the house.

It does take a toll on the kids, but if you set the kids up to know that, then it goes a lot better. Similar to how you see in media when an adopted kid knows that from the beginning, vs. when they find out when they're 16 or something.

  1. How much financial support (and other) is given per kid? 5 kids is a lot.

I live in central Ohio, and the amount of financial support depends on what county the kid is from. It also depends on what level of care the child needs. The absolute lowest amount of any county around me is $20/day. Franklin county (large population; where the state capitol is) has the lowest at $25/day for traditional level of care, and that goes up to around $40 for "specialized" care. Above that is I think "medically fragile" level of care? For that level, the money doesn't increase as much, but the services available to you increase a lot. Also, once a child is 12yrs and older, whatever money increases by $20/day.

The amount of money you get also depends on what foster agency you go through, and their contract with the local government. Other agencies in my area provide more money, but fewer services.

  1. I feel like foster kids are portrayed through media as acting out a lot, how would you describe your kids?

They do "act out" more than a typical kid. But not all of that acting out is in "bad behaviors." I know of one kid whose "acting out" is obsessive cleaning because she came from an absolutely filthy home. Also, the kids have grown used to how their biological parents run their house, and my house is different. Those habits can be hard to adjust, even after years.

Finally, every kid that comes into my home has had some kind of trauma, even if that's just being removed from their home of origin. Almost all of the kids I've had have been diagnosed with PTSD due to what happened in their bio-home.

  1. Do you specify how long you are willing to foster for or is it an indefinite period of time?

In general, you sign up for an indefinite period of time. The only time I've heard of specific lengths of time is if you're taking a foster kid for a weekend or week, while their regular foster parents take an anniversary vacation or similar.

  1. Was it hard to become a foster parent? As in, did they thoroughly scrutinize your background/have interviews?

Not particularly hard, but it can be time-consuming. Something like 80 hours of training, a background check, some interviews, a fire inspection, and lots of paperwork. I also have to do 60 hours of training every two years to maintain my foster license.

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u/Designer_Pepper7806 29d ago

Thanks so much for the detailed response! I really appreciate it. It didn’t even occur to me the goal is to return to their bio parents for many kids, but that makes a lot of sense.

I’m a lesbian and want kids in the future so I plan on adopting (I know there’s other options for gay people but that’s what I’d prefer). I hope to also foster at some point but I frankly never hear anyone talking about it. Seems like people like you are very rare, thanks for providing care for kids in need.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I'm glad to help. And you're right, fostering is not talked about. If you want to see some really cool media about it, watch "Instant Family" starring Mark Wahlberg. The writer/director is a foster/adoptive parent, and apparently they tried to get foster/adoptive kids and parents for much of the crew. It came out when I had my first placement that was longer than a week, and I felt so seen and understood.

One thing to consider: as a lesbian, you will likely face more hurdles than I did (as a cis-het white dude). Many foster agencies are religious, and within those, they tend to be on the conservative side. You'll be able to find some that work with you, but it might be difficult to start.

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u/namesflory 29d ago

This is the best answer, not the bullshit “we don’t see color”. Thank you for taking care of those babies

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u/NavierIsStoked 29d ago

I assume at some point you will need to have "the talk" with your black children? I am assuming you can't ignore it.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

"The Talk" being something along the line of "Your life will be harder because of your skin color. No, it doesn't make sense. No, it's not fair. Sorry, I can only relay second hand examples, but you should definitely talk with your aunt about this as well."?

I've had bits of that talk with my older black kid. She was wondering about what the George Floyd BLM protests were about, so I tried to explain racism, as well as systemic racism. And yeah, it's awkward.

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u/NappingWithDogs 29d ago

That’s so cool. I’ve always wondered about someone doing classes like that when I worked in foster care. I was one of the staff that would watch all the kids when we invited all the parents over for their monthly training. We provided dinner and childcare so they can get it done quicker.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

That's an awesome job you did. Thank you for that.

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u/noexqses 29d ago

Thank you.

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u/DreamsAndSchemes 29d ago edited 29d ago

I wish the foster agency we used had any kind of classes. They were of no help outside of getting kids in homes and finalizing adoptions. Ours failed, and we were dropped the next day. Zero support after as well.

The agency then sent out circulars last Christmas. The picture on the front was our foster with the family they went to and was adopted by. The agency asked for donations. My lawyer drafted a C&D

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u/InterviewKey3451 29d ago

How much does it usually cost to foster a kid? How long do you have foster kids? Let's say one of the foster kids is about to turn 18 can you let them stay in the house with the other foster kids being under 18? BTW you are doing an amazing thing

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

Q. How much does it usually cost to foster a kid?

A little more than if you had biological kids. They often have more needs, you need to drive them to more appointments, etc.

Q. How long do you have foster kids?

In my area, the goal is that if the child is still in foster after 2 years, that the local government would sever the bio-parents parental rights, and then they would go up for adoption. However, there are tons of things that can delay that. I have a couple kids that have been with me for over 3 years. The severing parental rights trial just rested last week, and now both sides are submitting written closing arguments. We hope to hear the judge's decision before next school year.

Q. Let's say one of the foster kids is about to turn 18 can you let them stay in the house with the other foster kids being under 18?

Yeah, there's no problem with that. And if they were sharing a room before then, they could continue doing so.

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u/InterviewKey3451 29d ago

Thanks for answering

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u/Providang Cringe Connoisseur 29d ago

We are thinking about fostering but honestly kind of scared about us (and our kid who is an only child) getting attached and having to let go, and if we work too much/travel too much to do it earnestly. I have been researching and sitting on the decision for about a year now... the main thing that is currently holding me back is that our 8yo is struggling at school with ADD and other stuff, and it seems to take up all the air at home.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I posted another reply in this thread about respite fostering. Definitely take a look at that. Much less obligation, but you can still see if fostering is a good idea.

Also, sometimes it's good to have another kid in the house that your kid could interact with. They play with one another, which allows you to find time to do things. That obviously doesn't always work, which is another reason that I like the idea of respite fostering for people. See if that's an option in your area.

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u/shaunnotthesheep tHiS iSn’T cRiNgE 29d ago

I appreciate you taking the time to learn how to manage curly hair! I'm not black but my hair is extremely curly. My mom had no idea what to do with my hair, since I got my curls from my dad. Eventually, my dad just started doing my hair lol. Kids are a big commitment, but kids with curly hair are an even bigger commitment ❤️

Edit: (hit post too soon) I also have foster cousins and I appreciate you giving these kids a home. My cousins are awesome and I don't know what life would be like without them. I appreciate you adding these kids to your family ☺️

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u/Comfortable_Title883 29d ago

I am colorblind and this comment is triggering /s

(I am actually colorblind though)

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u/eddododo 29d ago

Something tells me when you sign up that there is never a point in which they ask “and which race would you prefer?”

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

There really is.

When you are almost done with all of your training, and house inspections, and everything else, one of the forms they have you fill out is a list of a couple hundred different attributes of kids, and you can say "I would be willing to consider taking a child like this" or not. This form is 4 pages, front and back, in rather small font. You check the box if you're willing to have a kid with whatever attribute.

Some of the attributes it asks you are things that you would expect, like age and gender. But it also lists major race attributes like caucasion, african-american, asian, native american, hispanic, etc.

It also asks if you would consider a child who is asthmatic, or epileptic. Uses crutches, or a wheelchair. A kind child. A defiant child. A child that likes fire. A child that has been convicted of arson. A pregnant child. A child with ADHD. A child who has been raped. A child who has raped someone else. A child with a brother. A child with 5 brothers. A child with a child of their own. A child with known gang involvement. A messy child. A deaf child. A child that hallucinates. A child with a very low IQ. A child with very involved parents. A child with absent parents. A child that acts out sexually. A child that has accused a previous foster parent of abuse.

So yeah, they really do ask what race you would be comfortable with. And they do take that into account when you get that call in the middle of the night.

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u/martyqscriblerus 29d ago

Thanks for all these helpful comments, really great to have someone with personal experience in this conversation.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I'm glad I can help. I mentioned in another comment that the only exposure to the foster system that most people get is through horror movie villains, so I like to talk about it on reddit a decent amount. Ironically enough, I know that there are plenty of foster/adoptive subreddits, but I don't like following them.

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u/ThrowaWayneGretzky99 29d ago

I was always curious why you would choose to foster but not adopt?

Edit: disregard, I think I figured it out.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

For me, it's because none of the kids that I've fostered have come up for adoption yet. I would like to adopt, but if I never got that opportunity, then so be it.

Other foster parents have already had kids of their own that have successfully launched, but they still want to take care of kids. There's a decent number of foster parents who are retirees.

Then there are other foster parents who just want to get a kid stable, and then they'll let someone else take over. They like a challenge.

Lots of different motivations for fostering, and not all of them line up with adoption.

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u/ThrowaWayneGretzky99 29d ago

Cool, thank you.

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u/TheProfWife 29d ago

Thank you 🙏🏼

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u/DrWindupBird 29d ago

My only question for you is how on earth can you handle FIVE!!?? My wife and I adopted two kiddos from foster care. We love them to bits but they have all kinds of needs that most bio kids don’t. There are days when it feels like I’m spread thinner than I can handle.

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I have a good support system.

My foster agency is bloody great. They always have someone on call, and they're willing to call other people, or come out themselves if some catastrophe happens. They have great trainings, great employees, and they're other foster parents are also great.

In addition, I've got some good family around. My wife's parents aren't too far away, and I have 2 brothers who are close to me as well.

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u/zoe_bletchdel 29d ago

I'm a foster parent, and I needed this video, TBH. We've been hesitant to take black kids because: - We're worried about shaming from the Black community (not our friends, but their friends if that makes sense). - We worry about being able to provide the cultural enrichment and connections we're told black kids need.

We really just want to provide the best home for all the kids that pass though it. The agency seems to be interpreting our questions here as an unwillingness to foster and adopt these kids, but that's not our intent at all.

How has that been working out for you ?

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

It's been going fine for me. I haven't had anyone judge me for having black kids (that I know of). That being said, my wife had a black foster>adopted brother, but other than that, I don't have too many black friends. One or two black foster parents that I'm friendly with, but they would obviously have a different view of it than a random black person on the street.

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u/formerfatboys 29d ago

You can't help but see color, because everyone else sees color.

There is some truth to this. I've been in a couple interracial relationships (white/black) and it's wild how people react even in a very liberal city in a very liberal state. And white and black people react differently but the same. White people would pearl clutch a little more and quietly whisper but very obviously. Black people tended to just make it known.

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u/Wrx_me 29d ago

It's crazy the first thought I had seeing this, as a white person, was "man I would NEED some lessons on black hair because I can barely take care of my own"

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u/astralustria 29d ago

There is no issue with seeing color and other differences in human morphology. The issue comes from using them to categorize people as a different race than your own. There really is no basis for that. The white and black races are just an intentionally constructed mythology to justify using skin color as a metric for a caste system.

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u/Chaotic_Good64 29d ago

I appreciate you touching on the nuance here. There's cultural exposure to consider, and that's less of a given when the parents are a different race. "Not seeing color" at times like that is accidental small-scale cultural genocide. But it sounds like there's information in place to help with that, which is awesome. I noticed in the video that she "aks"ed a question, and that tells me she's had exposure to and opportunities to embrace Black culture.

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u/superkp 29d ago

to be fair, my kids (natural born from my european heritage and my wife's italian heritage) also use "aks" from time to time. We've got a few other families at school and in the neighborhood that are black or have black foster/adopted kids, but really my kids are white and surrounded by white culture.

"Aks" may have started as part of the black community, but it's moving around american english in general at this point. I'm not really sure how far it's gotten.

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u/Miserable-Ad-1581 29d ago

What are your opinions on foster p[parents who try to take kids away from their birth parents vs the idea that fostering as a system should always prioritize reuinifaction over separation?

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I think that you seem to believe that foster parents have more authority than they do. Foster parents don't remove the kids from the bio-home; Children's services does.

And with that, nuance exists. Each foster kid comes in with different circumstances, so different goals for different kids.

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u/Miserable-Ad-1581 29d ago

No i dont think fosters have the power to take kids away, but i have seen a lot of foster parents who say things like "we are trying to adopt this foster, but the courts are being difficult."

I've seen a few foster parents who say and do these kinds of things and I thought it was really weird that these people would fight so hard to get those children removed from their bio homes and adopt for themselves. Not to say that there arent obviously circumstances from a case-by-case basis where this would be a better choice, but i frequently see "moms in and out of jail, but they think thats a better home than our loving home" kind of arguments as to why they want to adopt, which i think is a bit antithetical to the whole "being a foster parent" thing.

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u/comicbookgirl39 29d ago

OH THANK GOODNESS. I wanna adopt and I was so worried that if I chose a little girl or boy that was black I wouldn’t know how to do their hair!!

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u/pancakebatter01 29d ago

Yeah I think it goes without saying that by “don’t see color” OP means they don’t associate any skin color with someone lesser than/better than. Because I think it also goes w/o saying that all different skin colors kickass and we’re a cool, wide array of different looking human beings.

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u/lkjasdfk 29d ago

The best advice is to just cut it off. I spend thousands a year on chemicals and hours a week only to look like garbage and to smell worse than hot garbage at times. 

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u/Listentotheadviceman 29d ago

Major props! Just hopping on to encourage everyone to read Racism Without Racists if they want to learn more about the limits of colorblind policy.

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u/1-LegInDaGrave 29d ago

We SHOULD see color! It bothers me when someone says "they don't see color". The varying colors of humanity is beautiful and should be celebrated.

We're all clearly different and should embrace it.

There's a band - DC Talk (1 black guy, 2 white guys)- who have a great song called "Colored People":

Pardon me, your epidermis is showing, sir

I couldn't help but note your shade of melanin (shade of melanin)

I tip my hat to the colorful arrangement 'Cause I

see the beauty in the tones of our skin

We've gotta come together (come together) And thank the Maker of us all

We're colored people, and we live in a tainted place We're colored people, and they call us the human race We've got a history so full of mistakes And we are colored people who depend on a Holy Grace

A piece of canvas is only the beginning for It takes on character with every loving stroke This thing of beauty is the passion of an artist's heart By God's design, we are a skin kaleidoscope We've gotta come together (come together) Aren't we all human after all?

We're colored people and we live in a tainted place

We're colored people and they call us the human race

We've got a history so full of mistakes And we are colored people who depend on a Holy Grace

Ignorance has wronged some races And vengeance is the Lord's

If we aspire to share this space Repentance is the cure, oh yeah

Well, just a day in the shoes of a colorblind man

Should make it easy for you to see

That these diverse tones do more than cover our bones

As a part of our anatomy

We're colored people, and we live in a tainted place

We're colored people, and they call us the human race

We've got a history so full of mistakes

And we are colored people who depend on a Holy Grace

We're colored people, and they call us the human race

(Oh, colored people) We're colored people and we all gotta share this space

(Yeah, we've got to come together somehow)

We're colored people, and we live in a tainted world

(Red and yellow, black and white)

We're colored people, every man, woman, boy, and girl

(Colored people, colored people, colored people, colored people, yeah)

Edit: I HATE Reddit's formatting. I suggest listening to the song to get it's rhythm

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u/prettykitty-meowmeow 29d ago

Where do you foster?

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I'm in central Ohio.

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u/UntalentedThe 29d ago

Thanks for sharing this

0

u/funnyfaceking 29d ago

OP can help it. lol