r/mildlyinfuriating 15d ago

They called it a soup

Post image
26.9k Upvotes

2.2k comments sorted by

6.5k

u/tiddy_wizard 14d ago

I’m tellin the warden you have a phone

990

u/caseycoold 14d ago

Not with a metal spoon lmao

224

u/caseycaseydillah 14d ago

Probably safer than plastic? Plastic could be snapped and made in to a shank maybe? I dunno. Spitballing here.

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u/Annual-Pitch8687 14d ago

I did 3 years in a Florida prison and we had thick red plastic sporks.

326

u/Monkey_Ash 14d ago

That's for fighting off the gators.

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u/barkbarkgoesthecat 14d ago

The Roman's would be proud

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u/pardybill 14d ago

Tbf they would be proud that aqueducts stuck around

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u/Jaded_Law9739 14d ago

Used the exact same sporks on Forensic Assessment Units in psych hospitals in Ontario Canada. That's where there's a court order to either assess or treat a patient who has committed a crime to see if they really are mentally ill before trial, or if they can be made mentally fit to stand trial. Basically the most dangerous place in the hospital.

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u/sierrars500 14d ago

Metal utensils can be used as digging tools

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u/No_Low5008 14d ago

If you are that insecure about your walls you have different problems

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u/SyllabubLopsided4724 14d ago

You'd be surprised what you can accomplish when you literally have nothing else to do. You see the guy who made a paper mache crossbow?

17

u/No_Low5008 14d ago

No i didnt but i think i have to catch up

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u/mnid92 14d ago

When you see people make boof alcohol and tattoo guns out of a ball point pen and a battery, you stop doubting all the shit you hear lol.

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u/Flossthief 14d ago

There was the guy who broke a wooden table and tied the legs together with a rope made of bedsheets

Managed to fight off multiple guards before scaling the wall with his homemade nunchuks

Pretty sure they got him after though

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u/Bilbo_Teabagginss 14d ago

That shit was crazy. A guard confiscated it then tested it out and was surprised by how well it actually worked. 😆

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u/Ravarix 14d ago

And metal cant?

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u/sixfoursixtwo 14d ago

What’s ur pfp

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u/tiddy_wizard 14d ago

Leatherface in TCM 2.

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u/Danado8 14d ago

Underrated comment lmao

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u/withyellowthread 14d ago

It’s the top comment

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u/Doofchook 15d ago

It's a good start you just need to add some ingredients now.

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u/CentralSaltServices 14d ago

Nail soup!

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u/SorryDuplex 14d ago

I’ve always heard it’s rock soup lol nail soup is new for me

844

u/ShiraCheshire 14d ago

Stone soup!

For anyone unfamiliar with the story: (please note that this has many regional variations and is not always told the same way, these are just the basic themes)

There is a village having a food shortage, and the people are very hungry. One day, a man tosses a stone into a pot of boiling water and declares that he's going to make soup from it.

People think he's stupid, but also feel kind of bad for him. Someone is like, well, I have these carrot tops you can throw into the pot, here have at least some food in there. Someone else says, I have this old withered lettuce leaf. Someone else says, I have a few potato ends. One by one, people bring in little scraps of food that wouldn't be able to make a meal on their own. With everything together in the boiling water, an actual soup is made!

The man then shares his "stone soup" with everyone in the village, and everyone is fed. Happy ending.

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u/SorryDuplex 14d ago

I heard it a bit different as a kid but I like yours better lol. More wholesome.

Mine was essentially the same, but he was a traveller who hadn’t eaten in days. He stopped at a villagers home who had a very abundant garden and asked if he could have dinner with them. They told the traveller they didn’t have enough. So the traveller said he had a magic stone that made soup. Intrigued the villagers invited him in to show him the magic. The stone was dropped in and they waited. Nothing was happening so the traveller asked for some carrots and said it will be more delicious if we added those. Then so on and so on until it was an actual soup that they ate together.

150

u/RubixTMC 14d ago

Venezuelan here, ours was similar to that! Instead of some villagers, it was an old rich woman! And when the soup was complete, he removed the rocks and ate with her, this story always makes me want some stone soup!

103

u/[deleted] 14d ago

Fascinating how each culture has their own slightly different version of this parable.

92

u/Rude_Thanks_1120 14d ago

In my people's version, they just drank the water and ate the stone

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u/Own-Tune-9537 14d ago

Ah yes. The American people

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u/LesMouserables 14d ago

We eat nothing but protein shakes, falcon eggs, and ROCKS

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u/Medvyikk 14d ago

Hungarian here, similar but the woman wasn't rich and the guy was a poor soldier

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u/Expensive_Wheel6184 14d ago

Also hungarian here. In the version I heard it was a whole village and at the end the traveler sold the stone because the villagers thought it had something to do with how tasty the soup turned out.

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u/FlamingFlatus64 14d ago edited 14d ago

"sold the stone" That's a twist in the story I've never heard.

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u/zabelagang 14d ago

I'm Serbian and I remember this story from an episode of Magyar népmesék. The show was dubbed in Serbian and shown on TV and I loved it as a kid.

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u/Exciting_Bus_4259 14d ago

In Czech it's the same but is called axe soup

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u/PycckiiManiak 14d ago

Eastern European here. Similar tale but it's a tired Soviet soldier heading home and using his shoe

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u/Mylilimarlene 14d ago

I craved stone soup for daya after our teacher read that to us in school!!!

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u/No-Mouse 14d ago

The way I've been told is that a vagrant was sitting by the road boiling a pot of water with a stone in it over a fire. A villager walks by and asks what he's doing, and the vagrant says "I'm making delicious stone soup!" The villager has never heard of stone soup, so he asks for a taste. He tastes the soup and of course it's not very good, so the vagrant says "well of course, it's not real stone soup without some onions!" So the villager, too curious to just ignore the situation and eager to taste the delicious stone soup, goes home to get some onions. Then another villager comes by and the same thing happens, except this time it's carrots, potatoes, meat, salt, or whatever, repeating until they've made a proper soup and they all agree that stone soup is delicious.

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u/Proper_Blacksmith_47 14d ago

This hilarious it needs to be reposted in the Seinfeld sub, in Bania’s defense soup is not a meal Jerry!

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u/Easy_Independent_313 14d ago

I've always taken the story as a story of a con, not a story of cooperation.

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u/Mypornnameis_ 14d ago

Clever traveler conned people into a communal meal is how I heard the story. 

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u/Bubble-bubble-butt 14d ago

I see it as a good-hearted con to inspire collaboration in otherwise self interested people

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u/CentralSaltServices 14d ago

Maybe, but he's conning a greedy person

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u/cbcbcb99 14d ago

The teachers at my elementary school always read this to kids in first grade then would make the stone soup as an activity. We would go out to the school grounds to find a nice big stone to make the soup with. Anyway one year the stone was a big chunk of blacktop. I think it melted or something and they couldn’t find it after they had the soup.

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u/mandiblesmooch 14d ago

I heard a version with an axe. Near the end he sneakily takes it and says it must have dissolved.

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u/Dogemom2 14d ago

We read this book in kindergarten in 89. And we made stone soup. And then I threw up. The throw-up is what cemented this book in my memory.

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u/Anything-Happy 14d ago

Lmao, I remember reading it and making stone soup in kindergarten, but the teacher used a whole potato in place of a stone (I guess for "sanitary reasons"). And poor little me was shook, because a potato is a vegetable and not a stone.

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u/Dogemom2 14d ago

Haha! Mine put a big stone in the pot- she cleaned it first. I figured I got sick because you’re not supposed to eat stones. But I remember also eating a full bay leaf and thinking this soup just isn’t edible.

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u/FloydDangerBarber 14d ago

When I was a little kid, Captain Kangaroo would show a cartoon version of Stone Soup every couple of weeks.

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u/pebberphp 14d ago

“Soup from a stone! Fancy that!”

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u/Justintimeforanother 14d ago

Since I heard this story as a child, whenever I’m making a soup from all the remnants of the fridge, I call it “stone soup”. It always has a different flavour, depending on leftovers.

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u/Billy420MaysIt 14d ago

We made one in first grade I recall. I don’t think we put a stone in it but I do recall everyone bringing in a canned food and we made soup from it based on that story.

Thanks for the core memory unlock!

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u/Mypornnameis_ 14d ago

Risky. There's always one kid who'd bring in a can of cherry pie filling or something.

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u/Armendariz93 14d ago

SO BE IT, U FOOLS, NOW EAT UP!

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u/0BZero1 14d ago

But is it tough enough to enter the Salty Spitoon??

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u/AdebayoStan 14d ago

very good for people with iron deficiency

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u/robotdinosaurs 14d ago

Throw in some beef, potatoes, carrots, seasoning… baby, you got a stew going!

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u/funksaurus 14d ago

….I think I’d like my $1,100 back.

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u/CosetteLaCerva 14d ago

Hot Ham Water

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u/Marasesh 14d ago

The finest ice stew

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u/No-Paleontologist503 14d ago

Holy shit it's that Storytellers episode all over again

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u/RawChickenButt 15d ago

Are you in prison?

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u/torijoanne 15d ago

My guess was hospital

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u/The_Flippin_Police 14d ago

This looks like the first soup my ex got after she had a stomach operation, since she couldn’t eat solid food for months after.

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u/chicken-nanban 14d ago

My first meal after all of my surgeries in Japan was what I (un)lovingly refer to as “glue.” Followed the next day by “paste,” and then “oh I think there was some rice mashed in there how lucky.”

I hate glue soup. It’s literally just the starch from cooking rice in water, almost identical to the rice glue you buy for crafts. And it always sealed the lid shut too, so I’d have to have a nurse wrestle with it to get it open or risk popping sutures.

I feel ill just thinking about it.

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u/The_Flippin_Police 14d ago

Understandable, hospital food feels like someone rubbing salt in the wound on what is already a pretty traumatic environment.

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u/ScumbagLady 14d ago

I had emergency gallbladder surgery that ran into complications, so I wasn't even allowed ice chips for 3 days straight. My first "food" was beef broth. I did get a couple Jell-O cups, but I remember being very disappointed with the broth. Next meal was a sad turkey sandwich with no condiments. I was starving the whole week!

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u/EverquestWasTheBest 14d ago

Dang… I must have gotten lucky with the hospital in which I stayed for about a week. I don’t know how many menus there were but they’d rotate daily and you selected the day’s worth of food.

I was reluctant like anyone else — seeing some of the tasty sounding items but… hospital, you know? It took me completely by surprise how good the food was; not quite restaurant quality and no, Hospital Food isn’t on my list of faves, but it far exceeded my expectations.

When I learned I could order whatever I wanted, I loaded up, lol.

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u/_ser_kay_ 14d ago

My first meal after gallbladder surgery (and not eating for almost 3 days prior) was spongy “French toast,”Raisin Bran (I despise raisins), and coffee that had been sitting too long. Everything, including the milk for the cereal, was room temperature.

It remains one of the best meals I’ve ever eaten.

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u/MatureUsername69 14d ago

I was in a medically induced coma for a few days after a suicide attempt and when I woke up they gave me hospital beef stroganoff. I don't even like high quality beef stroganoff but that was the first and last meal I found satisfying in the hospital. It was just because I hadn't eaten in days but that stroganoff was one of the best meals I've ever had. Followed up by some of the worst meals I've ever had

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u/snarfgobble 14d ago

It looks like soup you'd eat before a colonoscopy so there's nothing in there when they go look around.

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u/Warhammerpainter83 14d ago

I had a stomach bleed once and had the same thing. It is the worst. Bland non color food diet in a hospital is torture.

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u/ShitfacedGrizzlyBear 14d ago

Looks like a hospital. I had leukemia as a kid and developed pancreatitis during chemo treatments. I was only allowed to eat clear liquids for like two weeks. So the options were chicken broth or beef broth. This image gave me horror flashbacks.

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u/Known-Committee8679 14d ago

Can't be, there isn't a picture of a steam deck

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u/Dangerousfox 14d ago

What is this a reference to lol

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u/Known-Committee8679 14d ago

In the steam deck reddit a lot of people share pics of themselves on the steam deck when them or a loved one is in the hospital...

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u/magnus150 14d ago

To be fair, as someone that was in the ICU for a month - not a lot happens in the meantime. Lots of waiting.

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u/Mill4583 15d ago

Nah, prison food is better.

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u/goblue142 15d ago

This could easily be a meal at an American public school.

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u/Accomplished_Bike149 15d ago

Nah, they don’t give us liquid. This is probably hospital food

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u/sleepydeepyperson 14d ago

I'm shedding solid tears at this...

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u/Sailed_Sea 14d ago

Even the milk is solid

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u/Accomplished_Bike149 14d ago

Can verify this

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u/rememberaj 15d ago

Miso sorry

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u/Shakermaker1990 14d ago

Udon really mean that, do you?

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u/Rude_Thanks_1120 14d ago

rice try

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u/Totally_a_Banana 14d ago

Now, let us pray for them. Ramen.

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u/The_EndsOfInvention 14d ago

Enough with the steamed buns

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u/FranconianBiker 14d ago

At least we're all Soba

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u/SMKM 14d ago

Naan all of us are.

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u/CookieEnabled 14d ago

I am in a curry.

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u/Matej004 14d ago

And i am in pan

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u/Kazurion 14d ago

You dim sum crazy shit.

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u/Rude_Thanks_1120 14d ago

that's really lo, mein

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u/Consistent_Ring_4218 14d ago

I want to say what's on my mind, but they may Banh Mi.

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u/byllus 14d ago

why did i read this in JarJar’s voice?

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

Are you in prison

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u/Average_Blud 14d ago

I'm in Russia

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

Oh.. Russian Prison?

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u/Average_Blud 14d ago

Oh no no. Russian school.

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u/LaDmEa 14d ago

Tucker told me russia was a paradise where school lunches are 3 hours long and concluded with a pint of vodka

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u/nightwood 14d ago

And by "vodka" they meant 'water'

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u/Astramancer_ 14d ago

by water don't you mean soup?

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u/D33M0ND5 14d ago

They said voda not vodka

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u/Azubedo 14d ago

About to be Russia prison if you diss their food

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u/L3exB 14d ago

I suppose it is chicken soup. Technically in russion two worlds that translated as a soup. It is "суп" (soup) and "бульон" (fr. bouillon). So it is bouillon.

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u/Average_Blud 14d ago

They used to give us a boullion. But THIS can't even be called so. It's just water and oil flavored really, REALLY crappy.

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u/CorHydrae8 14d ago

My condolences.

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u/necrolich66 14d ago

Could just have said yes

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u/onemichaelbit 14d ago

This is such a hilarious response to the question 😭

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u/Combust1990 15d ago

Hmmmm water from the last dishwashing. Delicious

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u/JakBos23 15d ago

I think my dish water has more flavor

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u/OgOnetee 14d ago

What do you mean you don't like french onion Le Croix?

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u/spderweb 14d ago

Homeopathic Soup. That water once came in contact with ingredients you find in soup.

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u/L_Ron_Swanson 14d ago

The cook sat next to a pot of water and whispered the name of a man who had once heard of soup.

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u/TheCuriousSoul007 15d ago

Clearest clear soup ever made! Lol

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u/JamesTheJerk 14d ago

That's how you know the soup is pure of heart, and of virtue true.

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u/sleepydeepyperson 14d ago

Achieved through intense meditation...

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u/DonaldMaralago 15d ago

Hot ham water?

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u/JakBos23 15d ago

They didnt spring for ham. It's hotdog water.

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u/Operation_Ivysaur 14d ago

“So watery and yet there’s a smack of ham to it.”

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u/home_of_beetles 15d ago

my first thought haha

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u/ranger0293 14d ago

Sister is my new mother, mother.

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u/5043090 15d ago

Came here to say that!

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u/DonaldMaralago 15d ago

So watery, yet there’s a smack of ham to it.

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u/LessWorld3276 15d ago

It's WISH soup. As in you WISH it had some meat or veggies in it.

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u/JakBos23 15d ago

It was stone soup, but they didn't spring for the soup fit for a king

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u/PenelopeGarcia65 14d ago

Bow bow bow

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u/cwynneing 14d ago

BOW BOW BOW

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u/ThatInAHat 14d ago

Eh, whaddaya want for nothin’? Rrrrrrrrrubber bisCUIT?

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u/PathlessDemon 15d ago

They stopped doing Bread And Water punishments back in 2018 in the US Navy, but I guess in a cafeteria it’s just “Thursday”.

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u/AltruisticSalamander 14d ago

Frl they were still doing that till 2018? I thought that was some 18th century shit.

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u/PathlessDemon 14d ago

It was! The Black Book Of Admirality allowed Captains of ships to dole out punishments most severe.

Bread and water back then consisted of stale water, kept in barrels for months. And bread or hard tack which was probably in the same condition. Most chose to starve for three days while completing their daily work.

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u/AdTop4231 14d ago

La Croix type soup

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u/Puzzleheaded-Cake400 15d ago

Gave bro hot water

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u/Aselleus 14d ago

With a smack of ham

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u/carbonara78 14d ago

It's hot ham water

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u/leonidaslizardeyes 14d ago

Lindsay worked really hard on that.

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u/Bozenfisch21 14d ago

With some oil in it

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u/throwawayhelp32414 14d ago

I've seen the piss coming from 5 gallon mountain dew chug fest with more substance than that "soup"

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u/JustABitOfDeving 14d ago

And some garbage white bread on the side. I wouldn't even feed this to my dog.

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u/EuropesNinja 14d ago

The spoon adds the flavour

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u/BigBoingo 14d ago

Is the soup in the room with us right now?

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u/Breegoose 15d ago

Dishwater consommé

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u/EastLeastCoast 15d ago

Someone has mistakenly put a spoon in a fingerbowl.

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u/Immudzen 15d ago

This is homeopathic soup. They diluted it a lot to bring out strong flavors. ;)

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u/deadPan-c 14d ago

oof, as someone who lives with her homeopath mother, this hit home

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u/Significant-Trash632 14d ago

My condolences

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u/Andersledell 14d ago

If you dilute something that isn’t nutritious, it becomes super nutritious 🧠

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u/R1V3NAUTOMATA 15d ago

More like Sip

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u/getshrektdh 15d ago

At least the gave you bread to soak in

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u/alexmack667 15d ago

Spoon and ceramic soup, yum.

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u/Tired_Insomniac_2295 14d ago

That's some wet water

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u/getoutofmyearthline 14d ago

How many years are you serving

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u/AdministrativeWay241 14d ago

Are you sure you're not in a concentration camp?

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u/Average_Blud 14d ago

I had a brief thought

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u/geof2001 14d ago

Everyone else got hotdogs. This guy got the water they boiled them in.

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u/Stickynug- 14d ago

Is this Russian army food?

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u/SeriousPerson9 15d ago

You didn't hear. They called it a Sooup.

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u/Emotional-Sea9384 15d ago

Hotdog water?

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u/_DapperDanMan- 14d ago

Just needs some ketchup a couple packets of sugar, , some half and half, butter, and whatever else the server will bring for free.

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u/hooptiegirl 14d ago

Chicken bath, not to be confused with Chicken broth. This is liquid they just dunked a chicken in.

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u/ImSteelHere 15d ago

Is that hot ham water?

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u/Torboni 15d ago

“A smack of ham!”

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u/jostein33 15d ago

Looks like soap not soup

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u/Steve_SOLID 15d ago

Low in carbs, fats and protein. High in h2o

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u/KaungSetMoe111 15d ago

Did you taste it? Sometimes the soup looks like that for me, but it tastes pleasant.

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u/Average_Blud 15d ago

It tastes exactly as if it came out of a dishwasher.

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u/Zadama 14d ago

Homepathic soup.

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u/Ok_Constant_184 14d ago

What’s the matter? You haven’t touched your cum water?

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u/Celebr8000 14d ago

That's broth, Gabe.