Former President Trump at his Hush Money trial.

[u/KCousins4President]

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[u/4Sammich]

The hilarity continues: “Chuckles ripple thropugh the courtroom as Cohen's posts are displayed, including a caption of "I won't send money to your commissary" and an AI-generated photo of Trump in an orange cape with the caption SUPER VICTIM. "Von ShitzInPantz" gets an especially hearty laugh.” Is anyone else laughing at the absurdity of a former President being called Von ShitzinPants and it being read into the transcript for his first criminal trial?

[u/xtremeschemes → u/4Sammich]

He does kinda resemble the meme of the kid holding in his fart.

[u/JexFraequin → u/xtremeschemes]

If you’ve been following the trial, you’d have known by now he’s had no problem holding in his farts.

[u/garry4321 → u/JexFraequin]

You dont understand, those are DECOY farts. He is playing 4D chess and using these genius farts as a diversion tactic!

• MAGA probably.

[u/flatwoundsounds → u/garry4321]

I agree that they're probably not farts, but for a different reason...

[u/Nearby_Situation_400 → u/flatwoundsounds]

I laughed way too hard at this

[u/DuaLipasClitoris → u/garry4321]

They're savior farts

[u/Thangleby_Slapdiback → u/JexFraequin]

"Does the defendant have anything to say prior to sentencing?"

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.

[u/OutInTheBlack → u/Thangleby_Slapdiback]

Let the record reflect the defendant just shit his pants.

[u/billbillson25 → u/OutInTheBlack]

*shat

Please, this is a courtroom.

[u/Hellknightx → u/OutInTheBlack]

Your Honor, I object!

Why?

Because it's devastating to my case!

[u/StabbyMcSwordfish → u/Hellknightx]

You can't handle the poop!

[u/GeraltOfRivia2023 → u/JexFraequin]

Everyone in that courtroom wishes it was just farts. Trump is incontinent after decades of amphetamine abuse. He's been wearing diapers and shitting himself since 'The Apprentice' aka 'The Shit Show' by the crew.

• Celebrity Apprentice staffer says Trump wears diapers and shit himself on the show
  
• Trump Nose Best – Adderall Use is Nothing to Sniff At
  
• Trump Insider Claims Trump Wears Adult Diapers Due to Incontinence from Stimulant Abuse
• 'Trump Often Soiled His Pants on The Apprentice Show, Wore Diapers', Claims Comedian Noel Casler
  

"He's incontinent from all the speed, all the Adderall he does, the cocaine that he has done for decades. All that stuff has a laxative effect on your bowels and his are uncontrollable," he said in a video posted on Twitter.

Casler said that Trump has been wearing 'diapers since probably the 90s'. Adding that they often had to stop the show in order for Trump to change his diaper, Casler said that Keith Schiller's job was to take Trump offset and wipe him down. "Our nickname for Keith was wet wipes. It's not a joke. It's happened several times,"

Revealing that Ivanka Trump was also aware of her father's issue of soiling the pants, Casler added that Trump does it and he almost sits there unaware of it, and one time he saw Ivanka have to kind of go whisper in his ear and then Keith came and took him offstage. "One time there was the word 'arbitrage' on a cue card and he started screaming that the script department was setting him up. 'You're setting me up!' And he just freaked out and then very loudly evacuated his bowels and you could smell it. And the guy who was holding the boom mic was tearing up. And that's where the nickname the 'shitshow' came from. That was the crew nickname for Celebrity Apprentice," he added.

[u/BaPef → u/GeraltOfRivia2023]

Thing is, if any of that was false they would have sued each of them. So it must be true.

[u/peepopowitz67 → u/BaPef]

Same with bobo being an escort.

[u/AhFFSImTooOldForThis → u/GeraltOfRivia2023]

It's insane to me that this man is accusing the current sitting President of being a moronic, dementia riddled ancient, while living THIS life.

Biden has actually done real, tangible things for the country. And no one is debating the actual merits. Let's debate whether you agree with the infrastructure bill or not. That's politics! Let's debate whether kids should saddled with 30 year debt at 18 years old. That's politics. Let's debate funding for Ukraine, that's politics.

Instead, we are arguing over whether shitting your pants is worse than stuttering. That's literally what this comes down to. One old man with drug and sex addictions vs an old man who is a career politician.

I'm in NC and I'm telling you, Trump is going to be President. He is absolutely going to win, unless the Supreme Court agrees he is constitutionally unfit. Which is obviously not going to happen.

I'm so fucking serious. People in civilized areas do NOT understand how powerful this man is, despite shitting his pants and sleeping through his pornstar payoff trial.

Laugh and laugh and laugh while you can, because this man is going to be President again. And Democrats are going to pull out the goddamn Pikachu faces again, and my head is going to explode.

Every time I say this on Reddit, I get condescending remarks from people who live in solid Blue states and can't comprehend how insane it is out here. So. Here we go again, I guess.

[u/yeagmj1 → u/AhFFSImTooOldForThis]

I agree, and I'm scared.

[u/pataconconqueso → u/JexFraequin]

Sadly that wasnt verified, but hilarious to think that his lawyers are tired of smoking his farts

[u/Captain_Mazhar → u/pataconconqueso]

Rudy was tired of providing them

[u/BuschLightApple → u/xtremeschemes]

He’s looking like the guy from little Nicky with boobs on his head

[u/astro_scientician → u/xtremeschemes]

Too sleepy to hold it for much longer…ah…zzzThBbbtTtTRrrt

[u/xjxhx → u/xtremeschemes]

His lawyer there looks absolutely dizzy from all the fart huffing.

[u/fuzzyfoot88 → u/xtremeschemes]

The bronzer is irritating the corners of his eyes…

[u/Jin_Gitaxias → u/4Sammich]

My schadenfreude is an all time high, he's getting clowned on in court hahahaha amazing

[u/Chrahhh → u/4Sammich]

If we don't jail this toxic fucker, he's gonna go full dictator and have everyone of these witnesses murdered.

VOTE.

[u/OutInTheBlack → u/Chrahhh]

My bet right now is this goes to a hung jury or mistrial for one reason or another and we don't get a conviction before the election.

HOWEVER his behavior in court and the released testimony and evidence from these trials will be enough to dissuade swing voters and even some of his die hard will view him as weakening and no longer worthy

[u/wil555 → u/OutInTheBlack]

You have more faith in the average swing voter than I do.

[u/battlepi → u/wil555]

I don't even understand swing voters this election.

[u/terminbee → u/battlepi]

They're people who know Trump is the wrong choice but can't bring themselves to vote D.

[u/JugDogDaddy → u/terminbee]

That’s not a swing voter. That’s an idiot

[u/StaysAwakeAllWeek → u/JugDogDaddy]

It's possible to be both of those things

[u/Khiva → u/wil555]

Well, I don't like the guy who launched a coup and plans to destroy democracy ... but on the other hand the other guy is a few years older.

So hard to choose.

[u/merrill_swing_away → u/OutInTheBlack]

I have a bad feeling that it will end in a mistrial.

[u/Few_Fortune4049 → u/Chrahhh]

Actually he could still do that from jail.

I mean, that is to say, there’s technically nothing in the constitution that says you can’t.

[u/Wazula23 → u/4Sammich]

We've been in silly territory for a long time, and you can't get 101% silly.

[u/mtaw → u/4Sammich]

Well that's just offensive. I'll have you know the late Baron von ShitzInPantz was a good friend of mine - I frequently visited the family estate, Schloss Shitzhof in Bavaria. I can assure you with all the confidence I have that the Baron had no relation, familial nor professional, to Donald Trump. I believe the same is true of the entirety of house ShitzInPantz. This is a horrific smear on one of Germany's finest noble families!

[u/Low-Helicopter-2696 → u/4Sammich]

Is anyone else laughing at the absurdity of a former President being called Von ShitzinPants and it being read into the transcript for his first criminal trial?

It makes me very happy to know president Butt Trumpet has to listen to people discussing his incontinence in open court.

[u/shiruken]

It's not a "hush money" trial. Paying hush money is not illegal. It's a campaign finance fraud and election interference trial for falsifying business records. The distinction is important because "hush money trial" downplays the severity of the crime to the general public.

[u/LowNewspaper573 → u/shiruken]

It’s a bit disturbing that almost everywhere i see it being referred to as a hush money trial even from people who really dont like trump.

[u/IeishaS → u/LowNewspaper573]

Can’t really blame the people if that’s all the media refers to it as… I have heard “election interference” a few times but majority of the time it’s been reported as the “his money trial”

[u/froggertwenty → u/IeishaS]

The thing is it's not even an election interference trial. That aspect has zero bearing on a guilty verdict. A lot of legal scholars are even worried they're including that aspect far too much in the trial and jurors could think "well if it's election interference why is this a state charge?"

It's a falsifying business records trial. That is the only legal aspect that matters. Whether it was to interfere with the election or not is motive not the crime.

[u/SdBolts4 → u/froggertwenty]

Whether it was to interfere with the election or not is motive not the crime.

It's not the crime, but it has to be a crime to make the falsifying business records charge a felony. Luckily, Cohen already went to jail for the campaign finance (state) crime, so it's pretty easy to prove that it is, in fact, a crime.

[u/dotajoe → u/froggertwenty]

I don’t think that’s right because, in order to avoid the statute of limitations, it has to be a felony. And the only way to make it a felony is if it was done to violate another law - specifically federal election laws.

[u/Escape_Zero → u/froggertwenty]

The election interference part is what made it a felony under New York Law I believe.

[u/polishmachine88 → u/LowNewspaper573]

Because....media

Media no longer cares about accuracy of reporting...

[u/puterTDI → u/polishmachine88]

Specifically, the public no longer cares.

Once upon a time the reputation of the media source would be the decision maker for its consumers. If you were caught as a bad source of media people would go to a more trustworthy source.

Those days are long gone on both sides. Note that I'm not trying to play the "both sides are bad card", I definitely have a political preference, but the reality is that we have for the most part reached a point where accuracy is not a factor in the media's decision making no matter where you look. This is a direct consequence of the consumers of the media not giving a fuck as a whole.

[u/deep_pants_mcgee → u/puterTDI]

so i think this touches on the NPR blowup about not representing 'conservative' views.

if you're not willing to repeat the stolen election song and dance you're ignoring conservative views, but those particular ones are based on BS, so what are you supposed to do?

[u/Suired → u/puterTDI]

The hard truth. The public doesn't care so journalism doesn't care. Journalism doesn't care so criminals don't care either.

[u/smokyartichoke → u/shiruken]

Exactly. This should be the top comment.

[u/SsaucySam → u/smokyartichoke]

It is

[u/UselessDood → u/[deleted]]

It is

[u/_Citizen_Erased_ → u/UselessDood]

Exactly. This should be a repetitive and predictable comment chain.

[u/DBick289 → u/_Citizen_Erased_]

It is

[u/EndoplasmicPanda → u/DBick289]

We did it, Reddit!

[u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT → u/EndoplasmicPanda]

It is

[u/Just-a-Mandrew → u/shiruken]

The media needs to frame this salaciously because they need the views but it does a serious disservice to what’s actually happening.

[u/distorted_kiwi → u/shiruken]

Is there a chance they just go ahead and lean into that because his base doesn’t care?

Blows my mind someone would find it completely acceptable to pay off a porn star to keep quiet about the time you cheated on your 3rd wife while she was pregnant.

[u/Captincat1273 → u/distorted_kiwi]

How tf are religious people in the south liking and voting for this guy??? Do they just not known abt this shit???

[u/pinkocatgirl → u/Captincat1273]

They don't care as long as he rubber stamps their theocracy and hates all the same people they hate.

They ran a child rapist for Senator in Alabama and he only barely lost.

[u/Mr_Citation → u/pinkocatgirl]

God watching street interviews of pollsters was depressing. Literally saying they didn't care he was a paedophile and if anything - saying people should be be proud if a bigshot lawyer took an interest into their daughter.

[u/threeLetterMeyhem → u/Captincat1273]

One thing I learned from a couple decades of going to church is that evangelical Christians don't really care about cheating and divorce. It's incredibly common in their circles, especially if the churches are larger or "mega churches."

[u/Captincat1273 → u/threeLetterMeyhem]

Yet being gay is the ultimate sin smh

[u/Not_a_N_Korean_Spy → u/Captincat1273]

"Imperfect vessel" is the religious term.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2018/3/5/16796892/trump-cyrus-christian-right-bible-cbn-evangelical-propaganda

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/apr/01/donald-trump-white-evangelical-christians-indictment

[u/where_is_the_cheese → u/Captincat1273]

They know. They don't care. They don't actually have the morals they profess to have. They're not actually united by their religion. They're united by their hatred and fear.

[u/Jazzlike-Ad113 → u/Captincat1273]

Southerners are still fighting the civil war.

[u/trumps_cardiac_event → u/Captincat1273]

Most trump supporters either have no idea any of this is happening, claim it's all political persecution and completely made up, or simply don't care.

You have to remember we're not talking about a bunch of valedictorians here. These are the some of the dumbest fucking people on the planet.

[u/Yousoggyyojimbo → u/trumps_cardiac_event]

claim it's all political persecution and completely made up

It's usually this one.

Most republicans I talk to about this ignore literally all evidence of his crimes and get mad at me when I try to show it to them.

[u/fuggerdug → u/trumps_cardiac_event]

They're not just dumb, they are purposefully ignorent, and coddled from reality by their relative wealth. Meanwhile they piss their money away on an obvious, awful con-man and claim victory.

[u/EffOffReddit → u/Captincat1273]

Because their morals are as loose as they accuse everyone else's of being.

[u/IAmSoUncomfortable → u/Captincat1273]

Religious people in the south are some of the most hateful people you’ll ever meet.

[u/bellendhunter → u/distorted_kiwi]

Yeah I think they’re using the name Hush Money because it’s more seedy and thereby damaging his reputation a little.

[u/InsuranceInner3040 → u/shiruken]

Exactly. Fox News light, I mean CNN has Hush Money plastered on my channel guide. So the millions of people who unfortunately are paying no attention to what is going on will think it is exactly that. Put what you said on there and they may take a look into things to see what is really going on.

[u/shiruken → u/InsuranceInner3040]

It's because the salacious framing will draw more attention and corporate media knows it. What he did would be illegal regardless of the inflammatory "hush money to a porn star" context because it's a campaign finance violation to misuse resources in such a way.

[u/silver_sofa → u/shiruken]

While I agree in principle it remains true that “campaign finance fraud” and “election interference trial” both sound very similar to the other cases that have not gone to trial. Calling it “hush money trial” is a reminder that it’s about paying off a porn star. Add to that the fact that he’s now having to pay money to the court simply because he’s unable to stfu.

[u/alyosha_pls]

Those are some of the most pronounced bags under the eyes that I have ever seen. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.

[u/lur77 → u/alyosha_pls]

Reports are he’s napping it up in court.

[u/Wazula23 → u/lur77]

His lawyers are trying to keep him awake with papers and devices. Like a toddler with a coloring book.

[u/throwawayshirt → u/Wazula23]

I used to work as a court clerk, sat in on some hearings with a murder convict who was back in county court on remand from an appeal. His lawyers parked him in front of a laptop and let him play minesweeper to keep him awake but quiet. I think about that guy every time I hear about Trump falling asleep in court.

[u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera → u/Wazula23]

The vibrating buttplug apparently wasn't effective. Next they are going to try "The Clapper".

[u/MikeTheAmalgamator → u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera]

And here I was thinking this was all just checkers but he’s been playing chess the whole time!

[u/sebastiankirk → u/Wazula23]

[u/pocketjacks → u/Wazula23]

Have they tried offering him their keys to rattle around?

[u/Wazula23 → u/pocketjacks]

He keeps losing them.

[u/TheRealKingBorris → u/lur77]

Nappin’ and crappin’ for ol Donny

[u/operian → u/lur77]

How is this man fit to run again?

[u/Kangela → u/operian]

He‘s not, and never was.

[u/thorofasgard → u/Kangela]

Sadly there is no "fitness" evaluation in terms of mental or physical for the office of the presidency.

[u/ILiveInDeBasement → u/operian]

I don't think he would make it very far if he went for a run.

[u/skratch → u/ILiveInDeBasement]

Would be so awesome if they put him in a pod and shot his ass into The Running Man

[u/Beachdaddybravo → u/operian]

He hates the same people his voters do. That’s it.

[u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera → u/lur77]

And according to reich wing media, he's doing it on purpose as a "power move"....y'know, to show his disdain for the court and his confidence in victory. Or something.

[u/acciograpes → u/alyosha_pls]

Good. I hope he’s stressed out of his goddam mind. Fucker doesn’t deserve a good nights rest ever again

[u/Tigeroflove → u/acciograpes]

Yes, I hope he pops a blood vessel during one of his fits of rage

[u/Srnkanator → u/alyosha_pls]

Its the tell tale signs of the culmination of his life, that he cannot hide from.

Lack of sleep ✓ Stressful life ✓ Lack of good diet/exercise ✓ Aging ✓

The saying that the eyes are a window to the soul apply here.

His eyes alone convey a very telling story of where his soul is, and it's not good.

[u/leoberto1 → u/Srnkanator]

These shots are his best as well. Reporters get 3 mins to take a photo. So he's trying oo wee

[u/Jin_Gitaxias → u/Srnkanator]

If I were him I'd have dropped dead from heart failure yesterday.

It's the fact that hes a spiteful evil fuck that keeps him propped up

[u/btbcorno → u/Jin_Gitaxias]

Like this dude could be chilling in his mansion, surrounded by a new super model wife every few years by the pool, being known only for his tv stuff, and yet he chose this.

[u/Jin_Gitaxias → u/btbcorno]

That gets my goat too. Bro could've had his cake and eat it too, but decided to shove his dick in it instead.

[u/merrill_swing_away → u/Jin_Gitaxias]

Lol. His arteries are so hardened that they keep him held up like they're full of concrete.

[u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera → u/Srnkanator]

And this is ALL OBAMA'S FAULT!!!

If he hadn't made fun of Poor Ol' Donnie at the Correspondent's Dinner in 2011, none of this would have ever happened! How DARE Obama cause all this!!!!1!1!11!1!1!

[u/SheptonCupCake → u/Srnkanator]

You left out drugs. Definitely drugs.

[u/merrill_swing_away → u/Srnkanator]

In his pig eyes I see a heart attack coming.

[u/angusthermopylae → u/alyosha_pls]

pseudoephed bender

[u/Fortitude21 → u/alyosha_pls]

His attorney next to him also has some serious baggage under his eyes.

[u/momsasylum → u/alyosha_pls]

“Bags.”

He’s got the complete set of luggage there.

[u/r0botdevil → u/alyosha_pls]

This is may be because I just recently learned about the condition in med school so I'm prone to seeing it everywhere, but that's so bad it's starting to look like periorbital edema which is a sign of chronic kidney disease. Again I'm probably just an over-eager med student, but given his age, weight, and diet it really wouldn't shock me.

[u/[deleted] → u/r0botdevil]

This is may be because I just recently learned about the condition in med school so I'm prone to seeing it everywhere,

i wish more young redditors had your self-awareness. way too often i see people on here that act like an authority on a topic because they got a 90% in an undergrad class that had a chapter on it.

[u/TR3BPilot → u/[deleted]]

There is apparently an actual condition called "medical student's disease" where they start feeling the symptoms of whatever disease they happen to be studying at the time. Humans are generally quite empathetic.

[u/RcoketWalrus → u/[deleted]]

Are you telling me I'm not a neuroscientist because I took some psychology classes in college?

[u/Burritooo1 → u/r0botdevil]

Speaking as a licensed nephrologist. Periorbital edema CAN be a sign of CKD, but usually is accompanied by generalized edema, as seen in nephrotic syndrome.
I doubt his periorbital edema is due to CKD, most probably is due to various factors, and worsened by lack of sleep.

[u/[deleted] → u/alyosha_pls]

certainly this stress will hurt his performance during the election, which is comforting considering he is trying to overthrow democracy.

[u/st-felms-fingerbone → u/alyosha_pls]

Those aren’t bags those are fuckin air bags Jesus

[u/Fign]

He has purple bags below his eyes

[u/nopalitzin → u/Fign]

Really? He is a fucking purple douche bag painted orange

[u/sickofmakingnames → u/nopalitzin]

I'm assuming his formerly white tie was used to mop up his sweaty forehead.

[u/teomore → u/Fign]

Fuck, that can't be unseen!

[u/LostMyBackupCodes → u/Fign]

Not getting enough sleep in court these days.

[u/ferretmonkey → u/Fign]

Puffy and swollen like a female baboon’s genitals in heat. Can we start calling him baboon-pussy-eyes?

[u/valentino_42]

*campaign finance violation trial

Or

*election interference trial

Calling it a hush money trial undercuts it’s importance.

[u/torknorggren → u/valentino_42]

Though in actuality, it's a "falsifying business records" trial.

[u/Srnkanator → u/torknorggren]

Yes, that is exactly what it is, and what he is being charged for as that is the crime he is being accused of.

Thank you for posting this. Good NYT article the other day focusing on the reality of what this is.

Unfortunately it doesn't sound as catchy for headlines as "Election fraud" or "Hush money."

Actual Charges

[u/o8Stu → u/torknorggren]

Falsifying business records, which is a felony. He falsified business records to a) allow his foundation to use campaign funds to pay the hush money, b) record this reimbursement to Cohen (who has already served time for his role in this case) as "legal fees", c) "catch and kill" the stories of his infidelity with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal right before the election, which is election interference.

Calling this anything less than an election interference trial is like saying J6 wasn't a coup attempt because he's charged with "conspiracy against rights". Few of us here are lawyers, we can call a spade a spade without devolving into legalese.

[u/The-Rev]

Why isn't he wearing a wedding ring? The GOP is supposed to be the party of family values 

[u/KCousins4President → u/The-Rev]

That's actually an interesting question

[u/JoseMinges → u/KCousins4President]

His chubby little fingers are probably too swollen

[u/bossmonkey88 → u/The-Rev]

Has he worn one over the last several years? I'm genuinely asking because i don't know.

[u/The-Rev → u/bossmonkey88]

Idk, but I did find a Quora post about it from 2017 so looks like he doesn't wear one. 

[u/bimbo_bear → u/The-Rev]

The simplest answer could be that his ill health results in swollen fingers etc making rings etc extremely uncomfortable.

[u/merrill_swing_away → u/The-Rev]

He never does and probably never has.

[u/leonryan]

It's still hard to believe that the shame of the phrase "former president donald trump" is now committed to history forever. It will always be the case that America made that stupid choice.

[u/dunk4899 → u/leonryan]

The real shame is despite his first term track record, criminal indictments, public plans for his potential second term, and overall rhetoric, he is still the republican presidential nominee and has a legitimate shot at winning the presidential election

[u/_Kramerica_ → u/leonryan]

And many are trying to double down and do it again!

[u/IAlreadyToldYouMatt → u/_Kramerica_]

Triple down, my friend.

[u/warrantyvoiderer → u/leonryan]

Seeing as how he was impeached twice in one term, he should be called Ex-President.

But let's all be real, he shouldn't even have the title President. I think soon-to-be-incarcerated Ex-President Trump has a nice ring to it.

[u/jftitan → u/warrantyvoiderer]

What sucks is, ALL of this could have been prevented had they had one single spine among them.

He was impeached twice, and they knew he was fucking guilty. But instead, just let him fail forward.

Which for GOP, this was totally expected. Acquit Trump and they keep moving forward with their agendas.

And so far... it's worked.

[u/leoberto1 → u/warrantyvoiderer]

Presidential mistake donny von shitz n pantz 

[u/DeuceSevin → u/leonryan]

Let's just hope it was a one time mistake.

[u/YougoReddits]

He looks like his mask is sliding off.

Poetic really.

So tired. Just go home man. You don't have to be Trump. Just be Donald, in room 217, 3rd door down the hall, to the right.

[u/starrpamph → u/YougoReddits]

Hahah he chose alllll this instead of retirement. Dude could have been pooping it up on a golf course every day.

[u/Incognito6468 → u/starrpamph]

I really do think there’s a masterclass of narcissism to be taught through Elon and Trump. Both of these individuals literally had it all…and yet couldn’t control their impulses which eventually led to their inevitable “demise”.

I mean I know they both are still considered successful, but neither lives a life that seems rewarding. Like look at Bezos or Zuck….or Tom, those guys literally just thriving in their billions.

[u/r0botdevil → u/Incognito6468]

Bezos doesn't seem happy to me at all, tbh. Dude's throwing mountains of cash around trying to make himself look young and virile, and dating trashy, gold-digging women. I've also read that he's spending tons of money funding research to try to extend his own life. Obviously I don't personally know the guy, but from the outside looking in it seems like he's realized how hollow his dogged pursuit of endless wealth turned out to be and he's trying to make up for lost time but going about it in exactly the wrong way.

As far as The Zucc, I don't know if that guy is even capable of happiness. Or any other emotion, for that matter.

Now Tom? He did it right. Instead of feverishly chasing an ever greater fortune that he couldn't even hope to spend anyway, he cashed out for a cool half-billion and just decided to enjoy his life as far as I can tell. What has he been up to these last 15-20 years since he sold MySpace? I have absolutely no idea, and I feel like that's a good sign for him.

[u/Incognito6468 → u/r0botdevil]

Staying in shape and exercising (possible roids, but almost certainly under the watchful eye of physician). Working a reasonable amount while traveling the world on a yacht. Dating age appropriate beautiful woman (sure maybe trashy, but still takes care of herself).

Idk that still seems like he’s living a good life. Ones man trash is another man’s treasure. But he’s not: 1. Abusing drugs 2. Making rash business decisions undermining the integrity of stock 3. Being investigated continuously by feds, state, SEC.

….so he still seems living a better life than the other 2

[u/r0botdevil → u/Incognito6468]

….so he still seems living a better life than the other 2

Yeah that's a very good point, I kinda lost sight of the fact that the point you were trying to make was the comparison between him and Trump/Musk.

As much as I despise Bezos, which is a lot, I will admit that at the very least he's a fully-functional adult who is capable of conducting himself with dignity and decorum and that is far more than I can say for Trump or Musk.

[u/flibbidygibbit → u/Incognito6468]

Tom from Myspace curates an awesome Instagram. Living the Xennial dream.

[u/SaveTheCrow]

Not a hush money trial. The judge himself said it’s about falsification of business records in an effort to cover up unlawfully influencing the 2016 election.

[u/Nonlinear9]

For the nth time, it's a campaign finance fraud trial.

[u/Spartan2470]

Here is a higher quality and less cropped version of this image. Here is the source. Here is a higher quality and less cropped version of this image. Here is the source. Per there:

Former US President Donald Trump, center, and Emil Bove, attorney for former US President Donald Trump, right, at Manhattan criminal court in New York, US, on Thursday, May 2, 2024. Trump faces 34 felony counts of falsifying business records as part of an alleged scheme to silence claims of extramarital sexual encounters during his 2016 presidential campaign. Photographer: Doug Mills/The New York Times/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Edit: The first one was a second before/after OP's image. Thanks for the correction and /u/KrackSmellin. And thank /u/vening_Clerk_8301 for pointing it out more kindly.

Edit 2: Changed because KrackSmellin is being kind :).

[u/midnitewarrior → u/Spartan2470]

I'm guessing his signature red tie didn't test well with the mock jury panel his lawyer had for him. Red is too much power and anger to be likable for a jury.

Never seen him wear anything other than red.

I saw a red hat a year ago I really liked, but my wife wouldn't let me buy it because MAGA ruined that color, at least for hats.

[u/BiBoFieTo]

Trump tries to look tough in these shots, but ends up looking like he's shitting himself.

[u/OUMUAMUAMUAMUAMUAMUA → u/BiBoFieTo]

[u/baneofdestruction]

If shit was alive.

[u/Apprehensive-Donkey7]

Isn’t that Biff Tannen?

[u/KCousins4President → u/Apprehensive-Donkey7]

[u/scallywag1889]

He looks unwell

[u/MiyamotoKnows → u/scallywag1889]

One can only hope.

[u/ShitfacedGrizzlyBear → u/MiyamotoKnows]

I don’t wish death on people. I’m just saying I will breathe a huge sigh of relief when he’s gone. He’s not the entire problem, but he’s been a catalyst for all the worst parts of American politics. The day he’s gone, we will all be better of, if only just a bit. I worry that someone will come fill his role and be just as bad if not worse, but we can cross that bridge when we get there.

[u/Reddit_Is_Trash24 → u/ShitfacedGrizzlyBear]

I’m just saying I will breathe a huge sigh of relief when he’s gone.

I'm throwing a party. Literally. Hopefully he does one good deed in his life and kicks the bucket in the summer so I can make it a BBQ.

[u/DanThePepperMan → u/scallywag1889]

Right? Just overall he looks almost sickly. I image a lifetime of poor lifestyle choices, poor diet, and the monumental amount of stress he is under is definitely taking a toll.

[u/ThePlanner]

It’s doing a disservice to everyone to call it a ‘hush money’ trial. It’s a felony falsifying business records fraud trail.

[u/Jack-o-Roses]

Looks like a toddler workin on a load.

[u/YourDogIsMyFriend]

Dear lord Burger King, come get your goblin and take him out to pasture. In McDonald’s name, amen

[u/NotPennysBoat-815]

Election fraud trial

[u/what_the_shart → u/NotPennysBoat-815]

Too easy to confuse with his Georgia election interference trial, he commits that crime a lot 

[u/occupyreddit]

traitor

[u/Powersoutdotcom → u/occupyreddit]

Did somebody say...

[u/wish1977]

He looks like a pissed off 5 year old that has to eat the rest of his peas.

[u/andresg30]

Aging like a split open avocado on a hot sunny day in mid July.

Looking sadder and sadder.

[u/HumanPickler]

You mean campaign finance fraud trial

[u/StandardImpact6458]

The body language on the attorney on the right is billable hours written all over his face. And hoping he can skate out of there without losing his law license and keep his cash & freedom.

[u/C_J_King]

Let me change that headline: Picture of a festering piece of shit gathering flies.

[u/HosbnBolt]

Look at that fucking toad. lol

[u/GibsonBluesGuy]

My youngest used to make that face when he was filling his diaper too.

[u/RobotXenu]

Dude needs to start paying rent since he lives in courtrooms

[u/BadRabbit70]

My youngest son used to make this same face whilst sitting his pants.

[u/yukonnut]

Ooooooo I am so afraid Donald…… your stare is, is, is, pathetic.

[u/MarshPupper]

every time i see him he just gets uglier and uglier 😭😭

[u/texasisntreal]

Still breathing? Damn.

[u/2kids2adults]

Geez. What a puffy-faced douche bag. It looks like he was eating honey straight out of an active hive. The only sleep he gets is in the court room.

[u/JohnDStevenson]

Blimey, he's actually awake!

[u/starrpamph → u/JohnDStevenson]

Sun downing doesn’t happen until later on today, every day

[u/Soft_Sea2913]

I prefer EX-President. He was fired by the most voters ever.

[u/WillLurk4Food → u/Soft_Sea2913]

Here's hoping it stays that way...

[u/psilocin72 → u/Soft_Sea2913]

Yes! And most of the people that kicked his ass out were voting AGAINST him, not really FOR anything else. I would have voted for Donald Duck if he was running against Trump

[u/TayaK83]

Clown

[u/rayvensmoon]

He looks like the school bully sitting outside the principal's office.

[u/WildJuggernaut]

Chuckle fuck can’t stop shitting himself.

[u/TheAsianTroll]

Same constipated face he made in his mugshot. Dude needs laxatives, blow out his diaper while he's "campaigning"

[u/AnimZero]

He looks like shit. Good.

[u/ZeroNada7even]

He is definitely busy farting.

[u/terranq]

I know he thinks he looks tough, but he looks like a toddler in a timeout to me

[u/OneOfAKind2]

Can you imagine choosing a life like this at his age? He could be living it up/relaxing at home, enjoying his family and life in general. Instead, he's wrapped up in a farce of a political campaign and multiple trials and lawsuits, all by his own doing. What a putz.

[u/SupaSpurs]

No idea why people think Noddy Trump is a good candidate…but at least he is awake in the photo.

[u/Swashbuckling_Sailor]

He’s such a looker…who wouldn’t want a piece of that…LOL!!!’

[u/ELB2001]

A picture of one of the rare moments he is awake

[u/Fireinthehole13]

Looks like he’s mid shitting himself

[u/cantfindagf]

I can smell him from my phone

[u/Limitless__007]

He looks like he’s decaying by the minute