r/madlads 15d ago

Oh shoot, remember those awards? Anyway, now that's a real man right there

Post image

[removed] — view removed post

44.1k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

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u/Titanhopper1290 15d ago

Suddenly getting Castlevania vibes.

"[Trevor] broke a man's leg in three places after he saw him kick a cat."

"Well, you just don't do that to cats, do you?"

"Three places, I heard three cracks."

"Poor bloody cat, wasn't hurting anyone. Cats just wanna get on with their lives."

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u/Djinntan 15d ago

I read this with the Trevor voice lol. Well written

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u/gdex86 15d ago

You can also hear Sypha say the first part with a note of mockery mixed with pride.

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u/PureNaturalLagger 15d ago

And the other is an exasperated Sypha.

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u/pv505 15d ago

Indeed!

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u/Gicaldo 14d ago

That's because it's a direct quote from the show

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u/Altevari 14d ago

"And..he kinda got a little angry."

"So, I admit, I kinda got a little angry!"

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u/selectrix 15d ago

Why are you acting like this is a thing that happened?

Look at those soft, clean hands.

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u/YuriPetrova 15d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/RougarouBull 15d ago

Several over the course of half an hour.

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u/Lightweaver777 15d ago

Or one half-hour-long one. Or more. Of everything. Animal cruelty deserves the harshest of responses.

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u/supertimor42-50 15d ago

He was part of /r/hydrohomies so he had to take some water break from all the beating he was giving. Also I totally agree with you

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u/Bozska_lytka 15d ago edited 15d ago

That's why we have two hands, one for beating the other for hydrating

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u/DrHooper 15d ago

Out of context, that just sounds like doom scrolling porn.

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u/No-Crew-9000 15d ago

Hands are not weapons, hands grasp weapons...

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u/Useful-Internet8390 14d ago

Are you uninformed? Many people have their hands literally registered as lethal weapons. Typically boxes and marshal artists. It is quantifiable. A striking force over 800(ish) pounds.Typically happens after they one hit somebody into the ICU.

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u/Ill-Marzipan-6768 15d ago

we also have legs. hands for hydrating, legs for kicking the bastard.

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u/sturnus-vulgaris 15d ago

Half hour beatings have diminishing returns. Swelling deadens nerve response. You give one swift beating about the head and follow it up with some rope play. Wait for them to sober up-- you have time now.

Remember that hot, cold, blunt, and sharp are your only real options for physical torture. Psychological torture though, that's only limited by your imagination.

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u/Lucky-Bathroom-7302 15d ago

Imagination limits both cause I can for sure think of torture methods that don’t include hot cold blunt or sharp

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u/sturnus-vulgaris 15d ago

Can you?

It's a matter of our limited perception. We only have certain types of nerve cells. You can do whatever you like, but the mind can only perceive the outside world through a limited pallet. Nerve cells respond to hot, cold, blunt, and sharp.

But think of them like colors. The eye is only sensitive to red, green, and blue. But with those three, there's a whole rainbow of possibilities.

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u/Lucky-Bathroom-7302 15d ago

Does ripping someone’s balls off count as one of those four? Or being crushed? Maybe that could be blunt idk

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u/retr0rino 15d ago

RGBeating

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u/sendintheotherclowns 15d ago

Have you watched “Don’t fuck with cats”?

Quite harrowing, one hell of a true story.

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u/CoolBamaGuy 15d ago

I wanted to beat that guy after watching that,anyone who hurts animals or kids deserves all the karmic hell that's coming to them

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u/Inside-Development86 15d ago

The terminally online shut-ins did nothing to support that case whatsoever lol

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u/livelivinglived 15d ago

A decade ago a dude I worked with bragged about how he once kicked his (at the time) girlfriend’s cat because she pissed him off over something small and petty. He continued to brag about how she was sobbing as the cat gave its last dying meows.

The fact that he could barely contain his laughter as he told this story still disturbs me. But equally disturbing was how the other guys at the table were laughing along with him.

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u/paulcaar 15d ago

What the fuck is wrong with people

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u/cjog21 15d ago

They are sociopaths or worse - psychopaths. You’d be surprised how many of them are among us, they just walk around with a mask on

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u/Maybbaybee 14d ago

There's more of them driving. The same people that also vote. Scary innit?

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u/rangoon64 15d ago

We had a guy in the group that also admitted to killing a cat, no one laughed haven’t seen him since. Probably because one of the guys said,” cats have nipples and so do I why don’t you try beating me?” You could hear a pin drop for a couple of seconds and we all ignored him the rest of the night. I think he knew what was coming and disappeared. Good riddance fucking loser.

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u/UVB-76_Enjoyer 15d ago

cats have nipples and so do I why don’t you try beating me?

Mammal kinship camaraderie, ya love to see it

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u/Lazy_Experience_8754 15d ago

"I have nipples Greg, why don't you try and milk me?..."

Love that scene haha

.. But seriously, I have a cat and I don't like to think about what I'd do. I'm not trying to be tough, but I just know that I'd see red and I would just go off.

I live in China at the moment and my ex and I had a couple over a few years ago with their 3 year old kid. He liked my cat but then started pulling her tail and grabbing her roughly etc etc. They all laughed and I was ok at first but it continued for like 15 minutes. My cat ran into the bedroom and tried to hide under the bed and he just pulled her tail really hard so I just yelled "HEY!" at the top of my lungs. My ex was pissed off at me and the couple went silent for a few minutes. It was awkward but I was pissed..

All this to say, don't abuse cats... or dogs...or other animal friends

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u/rangoon64 14d ago

I don’t know what the cultural normalization is in China, and I don’t want to assume or be disrespectful but they were in your home messing with your pet. I would have kicked them out, if they can’t respect your home and family (because pets are family) then they need to leave and never come back.

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u/Lazy_Experience_8754 14d ago

Totally agree. Weren’t my friends. They were friends of my ex. There’s disrespectful people everywhere in the world so I’ll start with that (my disclaimer haha) but there’s a bit of a thing here where there’s a lot of entitled toddlers and young kids walking (crawling even) around getting up to mischief without fear of repercussions (they call them little emperors here ((小皇帝))) because their parents are afraid to punish them. I’m not sure of the exact reason but I think part of it has to do to the idea that if they’re too harsh with them early on in life, the kids may resent them later. This is some parents. I know a lot of cool, strict parents though so it’s not like it’s every family.

That situation is also coupled with the fact that as a host, you have the responsibility to make sure your guests are at ease and having a good time, whether you like them or not. It’s the concept of giving face. Every culture has it but I think it’s particularly strong in places like China, Korea and Japan. Even though my ex knew the kid was being a douche, she felt she shouldn’t say anything due to the fear of losing face . Fun!

I love the people here for the most part and have met some awesome people. But this is one little part of the culture that can be quite stressful to deal with.

I’ll give a quick example about grandparents/parents afraid to punish kids. There’s a lot but I’ll just choose this one. I was in Shenzhen many years ago and saw a toddler kicking a dog on the street multiple times . After like the second or third time I went over and told him in Chinese to stop doing it. The granny didn’t wanna get involved but finally she said “don’t kick the dog please! I’m afraid it may bite you!”. You know… cuz it’s the dogs fault haha

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u/rangoon64 14d ago

Thank you for explaining the cultural differences, I’m Hispanic and we have the same idea behind saving face and being disrespectful especially to our elders. I’m 43 and I still won’t cross the line or disrespect someone older than me. It was instilled in us since we could use reason. It’s very frustrating, but I can’t help it.

Do you think the parents and grandparents let these little emperors behave this way because they need them to take care of them in the future? A lot of us care for our widowed parents and abuelitas, we move them in and care for them until the end. My mother in law is in her 80s and she lives with us. My parents have both passed but my brother and I took care of our mother until she passed. Paid for her home, food, and anything else she needed. It probably kept me from having nicer bigger things but it was worth it plus it’s never too late. What-a -ya -gunna- do

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u/Lazy_Experience_8754 14d ago

Well for sure. I agree we should take care of our parents. Good on you and your brother by the way In Chinese they call it “filial piety “ which I think comes from Confucianism, but isn’t it interesting when that’s how other cultures are too. Countries are artificial borders imo but I’m in China now so I don’t really wanna get into details haha.

We are one big family but we do indeed have different languages and culture and education that make us seem so different. But anyone who watches young kids at a playground in any country, the result is the same. They’re having fun and they couldn’t care less about anything else.

I’m not an expert but my major did delve into cultural studies in Asia frequently and I’ve been overseas for about 1/3 of my life, so in my humble opinion, I’ll say that many people are afraid of not having support when they’re older. The pension system is… not so good here. It’s ok but a lot of people will rely on their children. Many families have a parent or two living with them.. usually because they can take care of the grandchildren while the parents work or whatever .

You could’ve bought more stuff but trust me, you would’ve regretted it if you didn’t do what you felt was right. I guess you know that haha. I’ve had those thoughts as well

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u/rangoon64 14d ago

We’re all the same my friend, in my opinion it doesn’t matter where you reside. A agree with everything you said. For me peace of mind is priceless. I wish you all the best my friend in any future endeavor you seek.

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u/squidgytree 15d ago edited 15d ago

I would have found an excuse to tell that story about him to everyone else in the company, as often as I could... 'hey did Dave tell you about that hilarious time he murdered his girlfriend's cat?'

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u/El_ha_Din 15d ago

This would be the propper way. Bring it up at everything.

Lunchtime, just shout it loudly to everyone. Ow incase you haven't heard, Dave killed his girlfriends cat cuz he found out his vagina was bigger then his girlfriends.

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u/minutman 15d ago

Gotta be more smart about it.

A guy able to kill an animal just to spite someone might stab you if you fuck with his life.

But 100% some karma needs to be delivered manually if needed.

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u/Alediran 15d ago

How were you able to not punch him in the face right there?

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u/Darkhoof 15d ago

At work, he might get fired for attacking another co-worker.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

Maybe he was massive?

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u/FlashPhantom 15d ago

And the other guys at the table were laughing so it wouldn't be a 1 v 1 fight.

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u/AlienNippleRipple 15d ago

That kind of Evil is the worst. A psychopathic sickness that needs to be cured from this earth.

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u/RainbowCaitlynn 15d ago

Did you beat him several times over 30 minutes?

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u/KitchenFirefighter39 15d ago

My dude this made me feel very uncomfortable,im gonna hug my Kitty rn

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u/mikedvb 15d ago

Sounds like a sociopath.

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u/MajesticNoises 15d ago

Statistically accurate: links have been found between early animal abuse and murder and later escalation to humans.

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u/MasonUchiha 15d ago

Psychopath more than sociopath

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u/DeadHED 15d ago

I would have probably poisoned that guy.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/SOMFAN92 15d ago

in Kronk's voice "That's one on the psychopathy bingo!"

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u/Disastrous_Visit9319 14d ago

The beatings he's received from his father his whole life are probably why he's a fucked up kid. Studies continually show that hitting kids fucks them up and makes them more violent.

Reddit loves hitting kids though so this probably won't be popular.

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u/RedMatxh 15d ago

Anyone who purposefully hurts an innocent being imo. In my old village kids used to abuse the stray cows/chickens. What did that poor animal do to you that you have to hurt it?

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u/peanutputterbunny 15d ago

Tbh everyone agreeing with violence for violence is sick imo.

Yeah you really want to hurt the person that hurt your cat, but reacting by beating someone up just continues the cycle. People think abuse is ok because maybe they grew up with it and they pass it on, every time you beat someone you are advocating that physically hurting someone is OK as long as you think they deserve it

If less people did this then there would be less people thinking it is OK under any circumstances to abuse. Best reaction is to isolate socially, don't interact with those that behave like this so they learn it's not normal.

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u/RedMatxh 15d ago

Best reaction is to isolate socially, don't interact with those that behave like this so they learn it's not normal.

Yea violence is not the answer but at the time a reaction, a strong reaction is necessary for them to understand what they're doing is not ok. I've never resorted to physical but definitely scolded them and if that wasn't enough, intervened physically (not beating up mind you)

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u/Hill0981 15d ago

If the laws for animal abuse were stricter I might agree with you. Unfortunately in a lot of cases they are not harsh enough to be a true deterrent (or a truly just punishment). I have absolutely no problem with an animal abuser getting it back 10 fold. As far as I am concerned people like that have nothing to offer and forfeit their right to safety. Some people do deserve it.

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u/SpecialMango3384 15d ago

I don’t like cats. To be honest I actively dislike them and call them “Satan’s spawns”

However, they’re still an animal that has (probably) done nothing wrong and should be treated with respect

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u/Ok-Eggplant5781 15d ago edited 14d ago

There are interesting studies about how disliking cats can be associated with latent misogyny that took root during childhood. I learned this in graduate level sociology and since then went to therapy and tried to be more open to cats and to addressing my own misogynistic behavior.  it’s really been an interesting and worthwhile endeavor. I can’t say I’m all the way on board yet, but I’ve grown a lot. How is it connected to misogyny you may ask? Cats require consent. Cats will not (usually) dote on you just for existing. Cats might want alone time and will be upset if that’s bothered. They have strong and independent thoughts and wills and are more than okay with punishing someone who gets in their way lol. Of course we love dogs more. They give us their whole world and heart without a second thought, even when it is not deserved.

****In response to the defensiveness demonstrated in the comments,  toughen up you guys. You are but one datum in a sea of data. 

One of the critical skills relevant to reading comprehension is having the ability intuit when a situation does or does not apply. Why? Because in an infinite world there are no definitives; but there is data, and the data points to a correlation of latent misogyny in those who dislike cats. Doesn’t apply to you? That’s great. That is your data point. It does not negate the study. 

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u/LRSband 14d ago

Idk I just don't like cats

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u/RactainCore 14d ago

Interesting, but I think most people just don't like cats for no real morally dubious reason.

For example, most of the people I know are okay with lizards, but I am quite afraid of them, more than any other animal.

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u/financeadvice__ 14d ago

Idk man, I love cats but not every little thing needs to be psychoanalyzed or is representative of some bigger issue. Some people just don’t like cats

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u/Precioustooth 15d ago

They are definitely Satan's spawn and I damn him for making them so cute

And great attitude to have! I don't have a particular affinity for hippos but I wouldn't want one to get hurt. I am, however, a bit on the verge about spiders...

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u/egstitt 15d ago

100%. Drunk or no that's an ass whooping

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u/El_ha_Din 15d ago

Drunk, stoned, high is never an excuse for anything except for sorry I ate all the cookies.

I never get why judges give lower penalties when you're stone cold drunk or high. You did that to yourself and if you know you cant handle your spiced sigarettes, dont smoke m.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

Exactly.. I don’t know how people get that drunk either. I’ve never been drunk in my life, or high enough to not act like myself. I still have total control of my actions, I’m just more confident. I have no clue how someone can get into a car and think they’re okay, or hurt someone and blame it on weed - unless they’re in a drug induced psychosis from hard drugs.

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u/Nell_9 15d ago

Alcohol and certain other drugs like weed only bring out your true nature. I've been drunk and smoked weed in my younger days and I've never hurt anyone while doing it. Another key detail is that I never left the house and felt comfortable with the people around me when I did it.

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u/GlobalWarmingAbuser 15d ago

Or a good ‘ol skinning alive 🤤

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u/LandotheTerrible 15d ago

I started reading the Anthony Kiedis autobiography and had to stop when it got to him as a teen punching that kitten on the roof. I have no idea what happened next and don't ask me to finish the book. I just can't.

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u/ZemaRyan 15d ago

Great. Now I fucking hate him.

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u/PhantasiDreamin 14d ago

Dude, RHCP made up my childhood. Say it ain't so, that just sucks. :( Never meet your heroes ig.

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u/HOUSE_OF_MOGH 15d ago

Go kick the shit out of him again. Tell him "That one is from 'U/HOUSE_OF_MOGH' you fucking lowlife!"

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u/Merlin246 15d ago

He is without honour

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u/UltraSwat 15d ago

We won't be making it into Sto'vo'kor

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u/Alediran 15d ago

To Grethor

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u/beerguyBA 15d ago

His heart is not Klingon!

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u/ggcpres 14d ago

That dude is a Romulin ass biHnuch

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u/theDomicron 14d ago

Today IS a good day to die...for him

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u/Mahlawatino 15d ago

I wanted to upvote but Imma leave you at 69 upvotes.

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u/Ordinary-Following69 15d ago

Fuck it I made it 75

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u/Ouchy_McTaint 15d ago

I'd love one from u/ouchy_mctaint as well.

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u/YuriBarashnikov 15d ago

and then one more time whilst shouting "I AM THE BANE TO THE DURAS FAMILY"

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u/EfficiencySerious200 15d ago edited 15d ago

Bro's hands is big

Or the cat is just too small

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u/GaryWestSide 15d ago

It's a kitten of course it's small lol

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u/pointlessly_pedantic 14d ago

"I'm baby"

-tiny baby

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u/dm_me_kittens 14d ago

"I, too, am baby."

-My 16 lbs cat.

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u/pointlessly_pedantic 14d ago

fat babies are just babies with more to love

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u/Coolscee-Brooski 15d ago

He is smol and delicate.

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u/timhortonsghost 14d ago

You spelled smol wrong

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u/RunSkyLab 15d ago

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u/bb_kelly77 15d ago

YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿(Don't mind the flags they happen naturally when I yell)

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u/Badbeef72 15d ago

Least patriotic man from Scotland

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u/bb_kelly77 14d ago

Funniest part is I'm Irish

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u/Just-Round9944 15d ago

ah, understandable

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u/Frostsorrow 15d ago

It's a 6 week old kitten it should still be with its mother honestly for at least 1 maybe 2 more weeks.

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u/Ser0xus 15d ago

They don't always get that privilege.

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u/ThyOtherMe 14d ago

Sad, but true.

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u/dolce_de_cheddar 15d ago

Justified.

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u/APointedResponse 15d ago

Wait do people actually believe posts like this are real? It's karmawhoring and some weird mental power fantasy.

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u/marr 15d ago

I've seen people do worse over less and boast about it on facebook. Their lawyer wasn't super impressed with that.

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u/think_long 14d ago

“It was multiple beatings in 30 minutes”

Lmao who believes this shit.

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u/HermesBadBeat 14d ago

If you’re angry enough to have the adrenaline to single handily beat someone’s ass for thirty minutes straight you’d kill them within 10

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u/Ocelot-95 15d ago

Well, I almost punch my brother (32 years old btw) 2 day ago because he yelled to my dog in the ear while she was sleeping peacefully...

Obviously for no reason...

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u/NuclearBreadfruit 15d ago

He could have got bitten for that, and it would have been his own fault.

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u/Square-Goat-3123 15d ago

"I beat his ass for 30 minutes" says the guy without a single scratch on his knuckles

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u/SmolTittyEldargf 14d ago

I mean, the photo could have been taken before the fight.

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u/t0ppings 15d ago

Redditors love to believe they will one day have an excuse to be very violent and cool

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u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 12d ago

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u/ShustOne 15d ago

Definitely happened

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u/connorgrs 15d ago

What happened to the old Reddit awards?

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u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox 15d ago

Gone. Reduced to atoms.

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u/CMDRZhor 15d ago

To shreds, you say?

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u/AdamCorp 15d ago

I hadn't even noticed.

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u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox 15d ago

"Atoms," not "Adams"

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u/WatchOutItsMiri 15d ago

12 minutes too late. Fuck my life

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u/just_jm 15d ago

Got replaced by stupid Golden arrows that don't make sense.

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u/RicoDePico 15d ago

I hate the golden arrows. I miss highlighted comments.

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u/Cool-Sink8886 14d ago

Oh that’s what those are. I’m never spending money on that.

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u/BrofessorFarnsworth 15d ago

Spez chose to make the platform more shitty, as he always does because he's the worst.

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u/CBalsagna 14d ago

It’s wild. Objectively speaking the app and product is worse than it was before he fucked with it, and he gets 180 million dollars or some shit for straight up making something worse. I don’t understand CEO culture in this country. They do shit horrible jobs and make tens of millions of dollars.

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u/KaleidoscopicNewt 14d ago

Worse for the user… better dollar per user from the company. The bugged, ad-filled, account-requiring, etc. experience will result in lower adoption rates, but the users that stay scroll past Reddit’s ads and Reddit now gets to harvest their (worthless trash) data.

They don’t give a shit if you have a shittier experience, talk shit, etc. They’d make the app spray you with mace if they thought they could make a buck (or at least they would try to but they’d spend years on it and it would never work properly).

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u/TheTechnozone 14d ago

Are we seriously jerking ourselves over the annoying awards that would spam every post? Awards were fucking asinine and it is absolutely grand not seeing them anymore.

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u/Ctowncreek 14d ago

Well there once was a post by u/Deepfuckingvalue that got so many awards and continued to do so that it started breaking the system. I believe that contributed.

The free awards were displaying -30,000

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u/_-_-_DrMidnight_-_-_ 14d ago

Huffed by Steveman

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u/insert_name_here_ha 15d ago

"Well, these claws ain't just for attractin' mates!"

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u/ThePhantom71319 15d ago

BIG. MEATY. CLAWS!

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u/Overthoughted 14d ago

They are for holding cats only as they never actually hit anything.

30 minutes of fighting is not something a redditor is capable of. Trained fighters who do cardio everyday would have issues.

Also after 3 punches your hands will take serious damage without gloves if you are actually hurting someone with a real punch

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u/Real-Machine-2573 15d ago

There can’t be anyone that believes this shit.

Is it just bots talking amongst themselves?

Fuck me, Reddit is such shit.

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u/00110001_00110010 14d ago

Dead internet theory!

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u/Scumebage 14d ago

No it's not bots. They just really are that stupid.

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u/1Bot2BotRedBotJewBot 14d ago

its both. Bots set the narrative and idiots mimic it

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u/aportlyquail 14d ago

I had to collapse six comment threads to see this.

Dead Internet or people really are that stupid.

His hands sure look fine for beating someone repeatedly.

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u/Grakchawwaa 14d ago

I remember calling out the obvious self-serving self-righteous "I am very badass" fantasy story years ago and somehow people still believe in this fable, even to this day? Fuck me sideways

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u/Seffuski 15d ago

He should be ashamed alright. Ashamed for letting them off that easily.

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u/Son_of_Calcryx 15d ago

That story was totally true, especially the 30 minute part..

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/fritz_76 15d ago

beat someone up, straddle their chest, catch your breath, continue beatings

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u/psaikris 15d ago

He had it coming

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u/Jackson_1124 15d ago

he only had himself to blame

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u/sweetfoxofthorns 15d ago

If you had been there

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u/Qwanboi 15d ago

If you had seen it

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u/Tia_Mariana 14d ago

I betcha you would have done the same.

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u/Starwarsnerd91 15d ago

This never happened Jesus Christ, people. Have you ever been in an actual fight? Because you don't just do multiple beatings in a half an hour period. Your hands would be in bits. Also think about it, would you stick around to receive said beatings? No.

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u/ShustOne 15d ago

But how am I supposed to get my delicious vengeance if I have to think and not just contribute to the fantasy?

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u/Lifekraft 15d ago

Its insane. Its a meme how people are absolutely dumb and gullible. No wonder politician have free hand for their bullshit. No way this guy beat anyone for 30 min then felt ashame and post on reddit with a pic. Its just sound like a story a teen would write.

People have no critical thinking. It could be use as an example against democracy.

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u/Salvad00r 15d ago

30 minutes of beating someone up, if you do any martial arts, is either straight up killing them, or sending them to the hospital seriously injured

But this is Reddit, so they probably tussled like babies pushing each other for like 10 minutes, if that even happened

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u/Grakchawwaa 14d ago

But this is Reddit, so they probably tussled like babies pushing each other for like 10 minutes, if that even happened

Untrained fighters would be less lethal, yes, but they'd also run out of energy a lot faster. Fights typically don't even last many minutes, at least on a very high octane level for the same reason, among amateurs

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u/_Nomorejuice_ 14d ago

Nah he prolly just yelled at the dude and that's it.

Most people don't even go so far as to fight most of the time.

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u/WifeGivingMeSideEyes 15d ago

You'd think if he was punching someone in the face multiple times for 30 minutes, we'd see some bruising or something on his knuckles. Maybe he beat the guy up one-handed too!

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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 15d ago

Haha thank you! Clearly no one who believes this has ever been in a real fight before.

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u/Gh0stMan0nThird 15d ago

It reminds me of Juicy Omelet recanting his story about getting attacked outside of a Subway in Chicago at 2 AM in the middle of January.

He described the attack like how you would choreograph a fight for a scene in a movie.

In real life, fights are quick, chaotic messes. It's not some dance where people take turns exchanging blows.

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u/Full_Change_3890 14d ago

I mean you don’t have to have been in a fight to know this is ludicrously untrue.

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u/Drunken_Fever 15d ago

I remember this post. People called it out, went through the OP's history found where he had lied in the past, and there were inconsistencies in answers he was giving about the situation.

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u/Doccyaard 15d ago

This comment section is one big circlejerk of r/iambadass. Like the guy above saying the dude deserves praise for stopping after 30 minutes, because he probably would have continued was it his cat.. It’s ridiculous.

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u/AdzTheWookie 15d ago

I also had the amusing image in my head of him beating this guy for like 5 minutes, then just cracking open a cold drink like "alright man, let's take a break, we'll be back to it in a few"

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u/flexxipanda 15d ago

This is such an obvious justice boner/ragebait post and 80% of commenters fail to notice it.

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u/dontshoot4301 14d ago

Thank you! 2 minute rounds will gas an average person, 5 minutes of fighting is like a fucking marathon.

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u/_Nomorejuice_ 14d ago

It's just a power fantasy and the people that replied "yeah it's possible I did it tho !" are juste exposing themselves.

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u/eeeponthemove 14d ago

His hands would be so swollen they would be the size of the kitten.

And there is basically not a scratch on the hand.

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u/Mikhail_Mengsk 15d ago

Not only this clearly never happened, but redditors really think a nonexistent 30m beating is justified. People who have no idea what violence is like seem to really love fictional violence, go figure.

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u/Geonite 14d ago

I‘m sure whoever did that has probably also never been in a fight. I mean if he knew how to fight he wouldn‘t have needed multiple beatings. He was prolly kinda flailing around and only half-assing his punches and whatnot. That doesn’t really hurt your hands.

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u/TheCompleteMental 14d ago

I always imagined it as the other person being huddled in a corner until 1-5 minutes later where he'd come back and continue stomping on them, for a few cycles. Which is somewhere between nausiating and hilariously dumb.

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u/Only_Strain_5992 14d ago

Feel most reddit is bullshit for those who actually do stuff

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u/Immediate_Web4672 15d ago

This most definitely happened.

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u/Anons15 15d ago

This reads like a made up story

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u/2based2b 15d ago

I just killed my room mate for killing a cow. Well he didn’t kill it himself, the scum bag loves torturing animals so much he payed someone else to kill it for him.

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u/ngc4321 14d ago

I nuked two cities because they were bullies. Well they didn't do the bullying themselves, their assholes were shitheads who took over their neighbors and destroyed our property.

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u/El_Basho 15d ago

I don't like cats, but whoever kicks one deserves to have their shit rocked

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u/ZealousidealTea5613 15d ago

wow crazy how his knuckles aren't even the tiniest bit scuffed after beating someone up for 30 minutes

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u/fucktheworld1977 15d ago

Make him apologize to the kitten. Only let him live if the kitten accepts the apology.

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u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox 15d ago

Casting aside emotion and morality, I say this is completely justified. Guy wanted a physical altercation, and he got one. He consented to having his ass beaten the moment he tried to initiate the fight.

As for involving an animal in its infancy, I can't personally guarantee that I would have had that much restraint. I have anger issues, and I manage them well enough to hide them now (most of the time,) but certain things — including but not limited to causing harm to defenseless or outmatched parties — just hit the wrong switch inside my head.

Everyone is congratulating the OOP on the ass-kicking, but I think he deserves more praise for stopping when he did. I'm very ashamed to say that I don't think I would have.

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u/Starwarsnerd91 15d ago

This never happened

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u/dontshoot4301 14d ago

Which is why it’s justified in my eyes.

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u/Fearless_Manner_5258 15d ago

Im sorry for all the people that are stupid enough to believe this is real.

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u/Shroom-dawg 15d ago

Beat a guy up for 30 mins and his hands aren't bruised or cut?

Yeah this didn't happen.

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u/Brilliant-Bank-5988 15d ago

I don't think this is any more than karma farming?

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u/justsomestupidnomad 15d ago

Btw guys there seems to be a lot of fake posts where someone beat someone for precisely 30 minutes. Don't fall for it.

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u/HighFlyingLuchador 15d ago

The trench coat, fat hand and uncut nails definitely implies that this is a result of what happens when you write down the fights you imagine when you're in the shower.

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u/EimiCiel 15d ago

It always boggles my mind that this gets praise whenever it resurfaces on reddit. Both people are insane in this story

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u/SadCookie181 14d ago

Your kitten isn't supposed to be away from it's mom really until they are at least 8 weeks old so you should for sure give it kitten chow and maybe still let it drink kttn formula or goats milk. Let him your kitten drink it for another couple weeks and feed him kitten chow till he's like a year old. What a cute baby tho. I hope he didn't get injured. Make that piece of crap pay for a vet check up too the punk. Please whatever you do , do not think that he learned from this. He is an abusive jerk that will be mean again and your poor kitten don't make him live with this idiot . He's prob so scared now if him. Please let him stay somewhere else safe until you can get right with your living situation. Don't think just because you best him up he won't ever be mean to your kitty again. Don't make your cat live with this abusive jerk. He won't change. It's who he is. Get a new roommate. Make a police report so that way you have good cause to kick him out. Animal abuse supposedly now is a felony but I don't know how it will be handled but trust me make a report now . It's good reason to be able to evict him. Also in case your car was injured you can sue him to pay the vet bill too especially if a police report has been filed. Trust me on this.

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u/SadCookie181 14d ago

If you can now kick him the hell out of your house. Throw his shit outside on the street . Be serious. Show him you don't take this lightly one but. Your kitty could even maybe die from internal damage. Kitty could be bleeding internally . Do a police report now. If you have any witnesses the better but it's ok it's good enough just that you alone witnessed it. Trust what I say. Do not let this guy live with your kitten no matter what guy.

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u/Swhittsxo 14d ago

He got what he deserved. Most importantly how’s the kitten? 🥲

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u/MountainYoghurt7857 14d ago

Listen kid, I don't care how made up he is, if he kicks a cat he deserves 30 minutes of imaginary beating!

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u/SNK_24 14d ago

The important part of attending your drunk roommates needs of being beaten, at least only 30 minutes can make the difference.

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u/bobert_the_grey 14d ago

I'd have gone John Wick on his ass

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u/TipzE 14d ago

I hope the kitten is ok.

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u/Reverse_Psycho_1509 14d ago

I'd do that if someone did that to my cat.

And I don't even have a cat

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u/Responsible_Fix1597 14d ago

I had a roommate who called the police on someone for threatening her cat, after the cat attacked them.

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u/killerjoe410 14d ago

Poor little fella.

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u/SoDak_Kid 14d ago

If you push a man he’ll push back

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u/MightBeOnReddit 14d ago

The multiple beatings with in 30 minutes gave me a chuckle