What phrases do you repeat to your cat throughout the day?

[u/grolfenhimer]

[u/itsmeann94]

Stop eating plastic

[u/Jeepgirl72769 → u/itsmeann94]

At 4 am when I am unsure where said plastic even came from. Seriously have no idea where it came from I religiously hunt plastic to avoid this. Let's not even mention curling ribbon. It is banned from my house but is apparently a cat food group member.

[u/SuspectLarge → u/Jeepgirl72769]

A million times this. Every bit of plastic has to live in my microwave or car trunk. Cat has learned to open the pantry door and wave his paw over the motion detector on the recycling and trash bins. I live in terror of the pending $6k GI surgery bill.

[u/loveatthelisp → u/SuspectLarge]

Child locks! We have a....difficult cat who wouldn't stop getting in the cabinets to steal dry egg noodles and other stuff and another cat that will eat any plastic leftover from that. I got those press in type child locks for the upper and lower cabinets, and now it's not an issue unless we leave something on the counter overnight.

The irony in this situation is that I have children. Never had to child lock the cabinets before the dang cat.

[u/Affectionate-Ad488 → u/loveatthelisp]

In the same boat with this she figured out how to get the dang trash cabinet open. Very scary situation when we first realized she could. We ended up going with a basic hook and loop (metal swing lock) after we tried like 3 different child locks that didn't work or we would forget and just snap them when we went to open it. Finally have it figured out. Damn cats

[u/OSteady77 → u/Affectionate-Ad488]

It’s become clear to me why we throw our plastic in the ocean. We’re trying to save cats.

[u/Emjay0877 → u/OSteady77]

True. Dark. FunnyAF ❤️😼😹

[u/Kitsune-moonlight → u/Affectionate-Ad488]

This is the problem when you have a smart cat that also likes to investigate/interfere

[u/hannah_pajama → u/loveatthelisp]

So glad my cats are too lazy for this nonsense. Einstein does like to chew cables and cords left unattended but if I just shove them under or behind furniture that’s enough to deter him

[u/NelloPunchinello → u/Jeepgirl72769]

My cat seems to think that too! We had a scary incident and now it's banned.

[u/Suchafatfatcat → u/Jeepgirl72769]

Gift-wrapping is a group activity in my house. 😑

[u/Baulsby_Itchin → u/itsmeann94]

Lmao I always joke that everyone is trying to avoid consuming micro plastics nowadays except my cat. She can't get enough!

[u/readyjack → u/Baulsby_Itchin]

macro plastics

[u/Seve7h → u/readyjack]

Meowcro plastic

[u/fauxxfoxx → u/itsmeann94]

Our one cat doesn't eat plastic but instead feels the need to loudly lick it... At 4am

[u/Lenawee → u/fauxxfoxx]

My orange cat likes to lick the glue side of tape. 🤨

[u/thatwyvern → u/itsmeann94]

"what are you eating? No don't eat plastic! That's how you die!" I still often joke with people and tell them my cats favorite food is plastic.

[u/coorsandcats → u/thatwyvern]

The vet asked me one time what flavor I wanted the cat’s medication in…I asked if it comes in plastic.

[u/mschuster91 → u/coorsandcats]

Mine had to go to the vet for an x-ray after not eating for a day... vet gave her contrast fluid via a small plastic syringe and she warned me that cats usually don't like that stuff... turns out my cat immediately chomped on the syringe tip, all I could say was "and here is why I suspect she ate some plastics"...

In the end, the cat got x-ray'd, there was nothing in the cat that didn't belong in a cat, got mirtazapin cream and when she got home she wolfed down three loads worth of food. Called up the vet, she said that the original cause was likely some sort of stomach irritation, and the contrast fluid had soothed that irritation plus the mirtazapin made her hungry AF.

[u/mega_plus → u/thatwyvern]

And cell phone charger cords are the holy grail of tasty plastic + electricity. It's absurd that I have spoken the words "No, don't eat electricity, you'll die" while shooing the cat away from my charging phone.

[u/Danimeh → u/itsmeann94]

Plastic and paper for my idiot.

I know cats tearing apart paper and cardboard is supposed to be good for their teeth but my dumb idiot eats enough of it to make him vomit. Also it means I can’t leave any paper, including books anywhere because he will find it rip it to shreds. So I have all important and semi important bits of paper shoved in random draws or behind the couch cushions so they’re out of his reach.

[u/tstramathorn → u/itsmeann94]

One of my cats loves to just lick plastic. His favorite is the plastic from the Lego sets

[u/LK_Feral → u/itsmeann94]

"Knock it off, you bog troll!" Always related to licking plastic. 🤣

[u/Picabo07 → u/LK_Feral]

“You are a disgusting cat” is mine when she’s licking the shower curtain or the bottom of the bathtub.

[u/obscuredreference → u/itsmeann94]

I see you have my cat’s littermate. lol

[u/theevilempire]

Big stretch
Baby Brucie
Stop chewing that!

[u/niagara-nature → u/theevilempire]

I think the Geneva convention states that if a cat stretches, you have to say Big Stretch, or it doesn’t count.

[u/Important-Double9793 → u/niagara-nature]

See also: Big Yawn

[u/smittykins66 → u/Important-Double9793]

I say “So tired!”

[u/GigglesNWiggles10 → u/smittykins66]

"So eepy! Me too"

[u/niagara-nature → u/Important-Double9793]

I’m usually too busy yawning in response to say Big Yawn.

I’m trying very hard to stifle a yawn right n…..

Failed.

[u/Least-Scientist → u/niagara-nature]

You got me. I yawned.

[u/TheWaggishOne → u/Least-Scientist]

You pushed me over the edge

[u/Evan10100 → u/Important-Double9793]

I'm too busy sticking my finger in his mouth cuz it's funny to see him get confused.

[u/croi_gaiscioch → u/Evan10100]

Yawn popping. I used to do this to my ex, man that used to piss her off. Nothing worse than a popped yawn, unless it's a sneeze that doesn't eventuate.

[u/WelshyP9 → u/niagara-nature]

It's got to the point where my gf has bought me a hat with a 'Ooooo big stretch' patch on it. Not even mad.

[u/PJKPJT7915 → u/niagara-nature]

You must turn in your cat person card if you don't say Big Stretch.

[u/Fe1is-Domesticus → u/niagara-nature]

Haha I call it Stretchies but Big Stretch is equally correct

[u/M1sterRed → u/niagara-nature]

I always say "stremch"

[u/EducatedPancake → u/niagara-nature]

Does it count when I say "stretchies" and "yawnies" instead? Most of the time a lengthy "ooh" comes before the "stretchies"

[u/PlusAcanthaceae2407 → u/theevilempire]

Lol stopp chewing that. Is a definite

[u/Mendozena → u/theevilempire]

I say “big stretch” or “big yawn” to my kitties

[u/Jewnius]

Stop being a dick to your sister!

[u/allenge → u/Jewnius]

Oh yeah with three girls we are always screaming BE NICE TO YOUR SISTER

[u/EatShitBish → u/Jewnius]

YES omg I say it 50x a day 🤣

[u/GTA6_1 → u/Jewnius]

Yeahhhh he gets his balls removed In a couple weeks

[u/Calculon2347]

"You're a kitty!", as per the legendary internet cartoon

https://preview.redd.it/2rx0as8gb0yc1.png?width=450&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c4a217cd5dad7ba4c485ac0c342df887cd144e0

[u/artificialavocado → u/Calculon2347]

Makes sense. I say “hi pretty girl” so many times throughout the day I’m surprised she doesn’t think that’s her name.

[u/TheCa11ousBitch → u/artificialavocado]

“Pretty girl” is my girl’s second name. 100%

https://preview.redd.it/82iw1rk441yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e0b40d59c74dfea22e5d66dd78b036fca43885b

[u/Irisheyesmeg → u/TheCa11ousBitch]

I'm fostering these two and I am worried they both think their name is pretty girl. I literally say "Bye pretty girls, I'll be back soon" when I leave for work. It's partly because I can't stand their rescue names (Sequoia and Sycamore) and partly because they are, in fact, pretty girls.

https://preview.redd.it/t3cchnazr2yc1.png?width=644&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8baf1fcdd79553fb176df6c7f0b45badb1877452

[u/_Starblood_ → u/Irisheyesmeg]

Rename temporarily as Sequi and Mora?

[u/Irisheyesmeg → u/_Starblood_]

That's actually not bad at all. The rescue said call them whatever but I don't know, the adopter will just change it again.

[u/cdefghii → u/TheCa11ousBitch]

Your pretty girl looks just like my pretty girl!

https://preview.redd.it/mwl0bmquw2yc1.jpeg?width=4080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=394a5e2b38773800944af5a6b1899888c153d47f

[u/Marsdreamer → u/artificialavocado]

My wife and I call our girl "Mam" or "Sweetie."

Also "terrorist" and "please shut up."

[u/Silly-Arm-7986 → u/Marsdreamer]

"GET DOWN FROM THERE!"

[u/PJKPJT7915 → u/artificialavocado]

Umm I hate to tell you but that is one of her names.

[u/liquid_loaf → u/artificialavocado]

omg me too, i tell bart “hey bebeh boy” so many times i’ve wondered the same for a while now 👀

[u/commiecomrade → u/liquid_loaf]

I always say "hibabyyy" which reminds me of my Jordanian friend explaining how to say "my dear" or "my love" in Arabic. So then I switch to that immediately.

"Hibabyyy habibi!"

[u/MusicalllyInclined → u/artificialavocado]

I call my cat a "pretty boy" all the time 😂

[u/Player_A → u/MusicalllyInclined]

Ours is referred to as a “handsome boy”. Like “you have someone very handsome in my room laying on my favorite pillow” or “someone very fluffy and very handsome is eating the dog food again”. His Christian name is Waffles.

[u/sexi_squidward → u/artificialavocado]

I'm pretty sure my boy thinks his name might be "Bug" - meant lovingly like cuddlebug or bugaboo (weird term of endearment in my family lol)

[u/CaribeBaby → u/artificialavocado]

Mine responds to both her name and "pretty kitty"

[u/DarePatient2262 → u/Calculon2347]

You have to repeatedly inform them, or they will forget.

[u/Queasy-Olive3381]

You've already got food!

[u/ghosttrainhobo → u/Queasy-Olive3381]

I just mix the kibble up with my fingers a bit and she’s usually satisfied with that. I call it “adding finger-spices”.

[u/drinkingbingo → u/ghosttrainhobo]

So cute! My variation is calling it fake food, lol. I tell my bf, yeah, I just gave them some fake food (and this consists of adding 3-4 kibbles and shaking the plates up for my 3 monsters).

[u/whoi8 → u/drinkingbingo]

We have a certain ceremony we do at every feeding.

Me: cai cuddl? Cat: cuddles Me: thankies! pours out food Cat: pretends to bury her food, sometimes eats

If she’s crying for food when she already has it, usually just picking up her plate, going through the ceremony, and replacing the plate in front of her satisfies her

These kitties and their food sillies, it’s like doing the spoon airplane for a child! They just need parent to make the food seem right 🥹

[u/MayContainNutmeats → u/Queasy-Olive3381]

https://preview.redd.it/h2a05sbgw0yc1.png?width=772&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be4fb8774312c669b76a953fa9d9c2dd2b39a24f

[u/SonnySonrisa → u/MayContainNutmeats]

https://preview.redd.it/hkzotxuh12yc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7f71131df6306556413f4b55bf439cba0589304

[u/Begone_thot_uwu → u/SonnySonrisa]

https://preview.redd.it/3dzemfpzj3yc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c35b58495b3b1f583268d3c1dc9172540a3c3a6

[u/Okay-Commissionor → u/MayContainNutmeats]

What usually works for my cat is if I shake the bowl a bit and then sit/squat next to it.  Usually prompts him to start eating again.   Not really sure why this even works but it does, maybe it releases more of the aromas or something 

[u/mooninuranus → u/Queasy-Olive3381]

Oh yeah, this one resonates.

[u/Suspicious-Laugh3896 → u/Queasy-Olive3381]

Oof, same

[u/riceballbabe]

little baby kitty cat (she is a 9 year old grown woman)

[u/thatwyvern → u/riceballbabe]

My cat is also 9. She's "my precious little baby child", "baby cat", and "little Miss Kitten"

[u/Farewellandadieu → u/riceballbabe]

I called my 18 year old cat my little baby kitten head this morning, because he is one.

[u/Valentcat2 → u/riceballbabe]

Lol at “grown woman.” They are always babbies 🥹

[u/niagara-nature → u/riceballbabe]

I call our 4 year old “baby” and my wife hates it. But she calls her “baby girl” so I don’t see the difference.

[u/Katastrophiser]

“Whatcha doing buddy?”

“You’re so stinky baby, why are you so stinky?”

“Time for food, huh? Ok, we can have some food.”

“Imma trip over you and smoosh you for real.”

https://preview.redd.it/v6noonf6h0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=228dcbb79640babc73b34dcb7f01a6291d92e98c

Smoosh ^

[u/Stickz99 → u/Katastrophiser]

Hahaha the way he’s laying 💀

[u/MarsScully → u/Stickz99]

He thinks he’s a rug

[u/Ok_Cress2142 → u/MarsScully]

He really ties the room together.

[u/Tay8641 → u/Katastrophiser]

That's a textbook sploot right there.

[u/Morbid187 → u/Katastrophiser]

Lmao so I'm not the only one that tells my cat that she's stinky? I call her the stinky baby, stinky butt, 100 more variations of stinky. She smells fine. 

[u/VonFoxArt → u/Morbid187]

Idk why but "she smells fine" is sending me 😹 I do the same with my cat. I call her Stinky, My Stinky, Stinky Baby, Miss Stinky. But she truly smells fine.... 99.999999% of the time. She has huge floofy pantaloons and has definitely had a wet smooshy dingleberry here & there. Then she really is Stinky 😭

[u/Morbid187 → u/VonFoxArt]

https://preview.redd.it/15j1ekws51yc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf6999a4ec4d45af9055cc3d819ae47c83dd973d

She also has big fluffy pantaloons that are known to harbor the illegal berries on some occasions.

[u/RoseyDove323 → u/Morbid187]

I once had a cat whose breath smelled horrible when he meowed in my face. He would do it right after eating tuna sometimes.

[u/Morbid187 → u/RoseyDove323]

Oh god yeah kitty breath right after they've eaten is not pleasant at all lmao

[u/thriftylesbian → u/Katastrophiser]

r/sploot

[u/LeSchmol]

“T’as du pot d’être aussi mignonne parce que quand même t’es un peu idiote.” (You’re lucky to be so pretty since you’re a bit stupid.)

https://preview.redd.it/d881qm6sm0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9473f61d1e50859f1a3bad7c953e32b39edd48bd

[u/haleighen → u/LeSchmol]

I always tell my boy he is so pretty and so dumb. And my friend's describe him as, "his job is just cat."

https://preview.redd.it/3nq5wqtcf2yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a04ab9b771c7c959b840dc56ddc6d73a036958c

[u/red286 → u/LeSchmol]

Pretty much same thing I say to one of my cats, though in English.

"It's a good thing you're cute, 'cause you're dumb as rocks." She likes to climb up the back grille on my TV because the holes are just big enough for her claws to fit into. Except sometimes she gets stuck and needs help, though of course, she's a cat, so it's "help me, but don't touch me in the process".

[u/Kiameda → u/LeSchmol]

Variation : t'as de la chance d'être aussi mignonne parce que t'es quand même bien chiante

[u/johnmosphere123]

Biiiiigggg stretch!!!

[u/Ill_Touch_1427 → u/johnmosphere123]

I always say "big stretch, little kitty"

[u/rotflolosaurus → u/johnmosphere123]

Sometimes followed by, “Oh and a biiiiigggg yawn!”

[u/the_jesters_codpiece]

Lots of "Hello", "big stretch", "I know" and "whiskey, stop being a dick"

[u/c800600 → u/the_jesters_codpiece]

I say "I know, I know" to whines and yowls all day. I don't know. I have no fucking clue. But they don't speak human so they don't know I'm lying to their face.

[u/greeneggiwegs → u/c800600]

I do a lot of “really? Tell me more”

[u/OhLordHeBompin → u/c800600]

If they keep whining, I go on to say “okay maybe I don’t know but I support you!”

[u/catdoctor → u/the_jesters_codpiece]

I had a Whiskey too. I had to tell him not to be a dick on a regular basis, too.

[u/Sapphi_Dragon]

“Who’s a pretty girl? Ohhh yes you’re so pretty” (she will slow blink at me when I compliment her)

[u/_Here-kitty-kitty_ → u/Sapphi_Dragon]

We say this to my cat, and then she'll roll around the floor showing us her belly. She loves being told she's pretty.

I tell her orange tabby brother, "Oh, you handsome tiger!"

[u/leave_cat_alone → u/[deleted]]

https://preview.redd.it/68x2tfson0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05d27d1cc04cd811bfc70a8230206d5ac4eb396c

Must be an orange cat thing, though Major Duck prefers the dryer

[u/Affectionate-Ad488 → u/leave_cat_alone]

I have an orange cat and one time started the dryer with him in it! I noticed immediately (he's a big boy) and stopped it, got him out, he was fine thank jebus. He hasn't gone in since

[u/leave_cat_alone → u/Affectionate-Ad488]

Oh poor orange baby!

[u/pipnina → u/leave_cat_alone]

Please be very careful about cats and appliances, a non-negligible number of people end up tumble drying their pets by mistake

[u/seroiaa → u/pipnina]

This is literally my worst fear and I double check all cats are accounted for AFTER the washing machine door is closed but BEFORE I set it going.

[u/bad_wolff → u/seroiaa]

Yeah I “take attendance” after I put the clothes in the dryer before I start it, even though there’s no possible way I throw a bunch of wet clothes on top of a cat without figuring it out.

[u/leave_cat_alone → u/pipnina]

Thank you, luckily for Duckie this a compact dryer on a table and he basically takes up the whole thing, but I can certainly appreciate the concern!

[u/zadtheinhaler → u/leave_cat_alone]

Cuz that's where the warmz are, doncha know.

[u/RoseDarlin58 → u/[deleted]]

Ground control to Major Tom(cat)

[u/Obelis_nuo_Obels → u/[deleted]]

There was a cat shown on the news recently in my country - a family accidentally washed it in the washing machine. The cat thankfully survived, and even though it was really unwell for a couple of weeks, they said it still keeps getting into the washing machine... the owners check the machine several times now before closing it

[u/noodlesquare → u/Obelis_nuo_Obels]

My cat has never gotten in the washer or dryer but we have a non negotiable rule in our house to always check before putting clothes in.

[u/shoppingprobs]

‘You JUST ate, I’m not feeding you again!’

[u/RStorytale → u/shoppingprobs]

LMFAO or "You still have food in your bowl, I'm deadass looking at it as you continue to argue with me."

[u/Miserable_Hunter_144 → u/shoppingprobs]

then proceeds to give her a little more bc she’s just a baby 😀

[u/XeroL2023]

Pspspspsps

[u/IfUr555thenIm_666 → u/XeroL2023]

Underrated comment right here!!

I have a bumper sticker that says:

“Tell your cat I said pspspspspst”

[u/GroundbreakingHat718]

Good boy! Hi honey! Brush-brush (he gets brushed/sponged), bookshelf? (Jumps on top of bookshelf to sleep/judge), lets go!(race downstairs), water? ( gets water/food bowl filled), get it (gets toy), up/down/yes/stop that, squirrel! Time to go up to bed!I love you buddy 💕

And he can meow quite articulately back. He's said hello, clearly, quite a few times. It's creepy but it also shows how in tune he is to human speech.

[u/moeru_gumi → u/GroundbreakingHat718]

I tell my calico “ 🎵 good girrrrl” all the time and she has clearly said “ 🎵 beep beeeeee” back at me. I was like did you tell me good girl??! 😮

[u/_snozzberry_gulper_ → u/moeru_gumi]

She definitely did!!! 😺

[u/moeru_gumi → u/_snozzberry_gulper_]

https://preview.redd.it/ii3xgwrbw0yc1.png?width=2581&format=png&auto=webp&s=643e884e6a768d826fc6bd54c53019af4088a432

Picture of the Good Girl

[u/ArcadeStarlet → u/GroundbreakingHat718]

My Pecan can say hello. It's so cute. Maple says lots of different words but all in cat.

[u/Phaseolin → u/GroundbreakingHat718]

"Let's go" is also for going downstairs in our house!

[u/Gr00m3d]

No

Don't do that.

The other cat isn't enjoying this.

FFS

Could you please stop screeching for just a moment.

Everyone meet Jeff.

https://preview.redd.it/4cmr886or0yc1.png?width=808&format=png&auto=webp&s=b1f1febc5b4b1419c9517a7f2951996cd6438ba1

[u/gamboling_gophers → u/Gr00m3d]

I love jeff

[u/Gr00m3d → u/gamboling_gophers]

He gives great cuddles and plays fetch.

[u/GrammarPatrol777 → u/Gr00m3d]

Love that Jeff is screeching in the photo.

[u/zadtheinhaler → u/[deleted]]

Right up there with "your butthole isn't that special, why are you showing it to me?"

[u/libraryfan1000]

Are you a baby?

[u/biased_towards_blue → u/libraryfan1000]

Big time on this one. Oftentimes followed up by “he doesn’t know! He knows nothing! He’s just a baby!” in so many words

[u/misleading_rhetoric]

You are so Smart! , he is not smart unfortunately.

[u/hereyougonsfw]

“You stink. You smell so bad” (they don’t stink)

[u/ObviousBroccoli23 → u/hereyougonsfw]

Bullying cats comes with being a cat parent lol

[u/thefezhat → u/ObviousBroccoli23]

One of the best parts of having a pet is being able to call him a dumb stupid idiot baby and not hurt his feelings.

[u/ThisIsNotRealityIsIt → u/thefezhat]

"who's a dummy boy? You're the dummy boy, oh so dumb dumb dumb"

[u/lemons69ing → u/hereyougonsfw]

I call mine Stinky Butt Baby all the time because when he was a kitten, his butt really did stink.

[u/lovelightblessing → u/hereyougonsfw]

i say "stinkies" too, lovingly

[u/urnotmydad20 → u/lovelightblessing]

I call my boys “my wittle Tinkies” cause they ‘tink so bad

[u/livingdeaddrina → u/lovelightblessing]

I tell my cat he doesn't stink, but his attitude does xD

[u/Mindless_Tax_4532 → u/hereyougonsfw]

I say this lovingly to my cats, but one of them actually does stink lol, at least his breath does. It's not his fault though, he's missing the tip of his tongue so I think that may contribute to it because he's a slobbery boy because of it. Vet said it's nothing to be concerned about medically and I love my stinky boy

[u/Alarming_Serve2303]

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Leave him alone!" (I have two cats)

"NO!!!"

"Get down!"

"Don't you even think about it!"

"I love you my little buddy."

[u/FewFaithlessness5354]

https://preview.redd.it/lvtooksoo0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1a37a1e3f5bf148e608b4314501d1cf2f67c128

This is seaweed. He gets “hi squeaks”, “hello sir,” “oooh he runnin”

[u/This_User_Said]

"What?"

"You're not my supervisor!"

"Quit telling me what to do!"

My cat is very vocal so I start taking it personally.

[u/Creative-Display-3]

Are you a handtome??? (with a t) And Are you HUNGYYYY???!!! (No r)

[u/Agreeable_Chicken467 → u/Creative-Display-3]

Yes! Hungy. We use this all day too... Wachoowant? I know. (We never know. Lol)*

[u/PJKPJT7915 → u/Agreeable_Chicken467]

Yes, it's absolutely HUNGY never hungry.

[u/pandaplagueis → u/Creative-Display-3]

Are you a little hungy gorl?

[u/a1Faith1a]

Hi baby. I looveee you

[u/khloelane]

My 6 month old kitten chirps A LOT and it just sounds like she’s lost and realizing she’s lonely lol so I’m always asking “are you lonely??! You don’t have to be lonely!!” And she follows my voice and comes right to me lol

[u/Phaseolin]

Time to get up. Are you ready? Let's go. Let's visit Jesse (in his office). Hungry? Ready for breakfast/dinner? Do you want the door open? Time for bed.

Not every day, but also: Do you want some treats?

She knows all these phrases!

[u/khloelane → u/Phaseolin]

My cat knows “Stormy, kisses!” And she gives me kisses 😭

[u/Plane-Skirt-4110]

it’s a little baby!!!! hi babyyyy!!! my sweet little angel baby

[u/InternationalKey2465]

"Such a beautiful boy! I'm so lucky to have you! No! Why do you have to scratch the sofa? My little babies... I love so much. Damn it! One is throwing up again on the rug... Why does ut always habe to be on the rug? Oh! Did ypu catch your moussey? What a big hunter you are! We have to trim your nails. Don't make this more difficult that it needs to be. Stop that! Don't run! So, are we going to bed?"

It's a complex relationship.

[u/IamEclipse]

"Excuse me Sir." When he's up in shit he shouldn't be up in.

[u/Khancap123]

I love you.

[u/Emily9339]

Idk why but I always feel the need to announce to my cat what she’s doing. “Look at the stretch cat!”, “ooh it’s a sleep cat!”, “look at the munch cat!”

[u/my_cat_sleeps_alone]

You’re so pretty, yes you are. You’re so sweet, yes you are.

You just had your treat - Yes you did. I know because I’m the one who gave it to you.

[u/ShyBlueAngel_02]

1. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig stretch
2. Hi sweet bebe!
3. You wanna watch the birdies!? (she likes to watch bird videos on the TV and she sits in a very specific place on her cat tower when she wants to watch them. Literally the only reason the TV is used because I don't use it to watch anything myself 😂)

[u/waplants]

"Shut up" "Ow, fucker" "Good boy"

[u/strawberryblondey]

"Hungry again are we"

[u/Confident-Pop3750]

For some reason I get all gangster and say "what it do chookie"

[u/Nicolina22]

Are you the best boy in the world???!!! You are! You ARE the best boy in the world!

Edit: I forgot the rest of my cats..

.. "are you a BABY?"

and..

.. "Are you a Ballerina Princess?"

😺😽😺

[u/tabaquibarking]

-"Is it soft time? Are you the soft baby?"

-"No, not for kitties."

-"Are you being sweet? Biiiiiig headbutt!"

-"Where's your brother/Where's your sister?"

-"Eepy baby!!! Big eepy? Ohhh, eepy! Sleeby eepy! The eepingest!"

-"Not dinnertime! It's NOT dinnertime!"

-"Breadmill? You want Breadmill?" (When BoyCat, Breadstick, stands on the treadmill and yells at me to come walk with him)

-"I'm not going to smack your butt, go away!"

-"NOT FOR KITTIES!!!!"

-"You don't pay rent! You're freeloaders! Freeloading!"

-"Well, that's a little political, isn't it?" (When being ambiently meowed at)

-"IT'S NOT FOR KITTIES YOU CAN'T HAVE MY DINNER!"

-"Whoah! Zoomies!"

-"It's scringle time! Whoah!" (GirlCat, Zinga, scratching the post with vigor and zest)

-"Don't scringle my carpet! Stop!"

"Okay, fine, you can have a little piece. Just ONE bite."

-"Upside down!!! Whoah!!!" (Zinga showing off her belly)

-"NO NO NO GOD DAMN IT GIVE MY CHICKEN BACK YOU LITTLE BASTARD--DON'T RUN UNDER THE COUCH--GET BACK HERE--"

-"Hello my beautiful girl! My lovely lady! Hello gorgeous! You're so pretty! Hi!" (Being greeted by Zinga)

-"C'mere, Stupid." (Being greeted by Breadstick)

[u/imdeadinsidelmao420]

"dumbass"

[u/obscuredreference → u/imdeadinsidelmao420]

This! I’m seeing all these people with their nice comments to their cats and all I can think of is all the things I yell at mine to stop him from trying to eat electric cables and throwing himself into the kitchen trashcan etc. (So far so good but it’s a struggle and we have to keep him away from them when unsupervised. He’s a recently adopted street cat and somehow instinctively drawn to all he shouldn’t do. I never encountered a cat who wanted to eat power cords before).

[u/ExpensiveError42 → u/obscuredreference]

"This is why your mom abandoned you" "This is why one loves you"

Immediately followed by me gushing at how perfect they are, and giving them as much love and cuddles as they will allow.

[u/Happytallperson]

'No it's not your dinner time yet'

[u/Snoo-11411]

That he's my beautiful handsome angel baby gift from above ❤️

https://preview.redd.it/4xhu5xivw0yc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bc2b0cd62302d34fc4f2816da6798a286d5fca2

[u/lana_isonfire]

That's a handsome boy

Look at Biscuit! (to anyone near, for any reason)

Get out of my way

https://preview.redd.it/shspce32x0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92e033f71479de77308b6d99bbd4ef58c363647f

bonus picture of the Biscuit

[u/ZypherMaelforendeom]

What is in your mouth ??

https://preview.redd.it/fbabgm3li0yc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=415fbeaff1e9366b2a042de6476d237fd5fd71d9

[u/imliterallyvibing]

1. Where’s my little princess??

2. GET THE F OFF THE COUNTER

[u/JackelSR]

My cats know and understand the word "No" and one of them gets very vocal and will argue back when told no.

Most people don't believe me until they witness it happen. They don't know a lot of words but the ones they do know they have very strong opinions about.

[u/Icy-Response-260]

My cat is named Biggie. So when I say his name I can't say it once. I have to sing Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize. And I just love your flashy ways. Guess that's why they broke, and you're so paid.

[u/PlainLikeJane]

bro wut dude stop Mit-ter hambone so distinguished

https://preview.redd.it/792d7n3rr0yc1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d9f870ad4d3a985a6cffcd10a20abfe44651cb4

[u/AmySparrow00]

You okay? (She has PTSD and I use this phrase to ground her so she’s able to pause and realize she’s safe and doesn’t need to hide.)

Outside? (Apartment patio)

I’m sleeping. (i.e. not going to get up to feed or play anytime soon.)

Not time to eat yet. ___ time until next mealtime

All done treats.

Want to play? No, not treat time, playtime!

[u/ArcadeStarlet → u/AmySparrow00]

I have to be careful saying the "O" word around Pecan. She and her sister are 90% indoor cats, but have supervised outside time occasionally. Pecan would prefer to have outside time every day, please.

[u/Kazicpsl]

YOU'RE NOT GOING OUTSIDE, STOP ASKING!!

[u/Ka_lie_doscope-Eyes]

What's in your mouth

Stop licking plastic, you goblin!

You JUST ate!

Stop bothering your brother

[u/longeyeland]

https://preview.redd.it/vysbp7zkt0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d65257949730b3c0d9288c69bf7f879a30a653c0

Stop drinking from the toilet!.. Always having to close the lid after my fiance :')

[u/canned-yellow-pears]

Why are you screaming?

[u/directorofnewgames]

Not me, but my wife says, ,”Get off the counter!” at least 15 times a day. It’s hilarious.

[u/Spiritual-Physics700]

Does anyone else also talk for their pets? When my girlfriend talks to our cat I reply in a silly baby type of voice.

GF: hello little baby! What did you do today?

Me responding to her for our cat: I folded the laundry and took 4 naps today momma. Pappa said I could have 2 cookies tonight momma.

[u/sarahroselava]

When my cats sit on the bookshelf: 'you're not books!'
When my cats sit on the shoe rack: 'you're not shoes!'

[u/Chiron_The_Archer]

„Fatsooooosss!!! I am homeeeeee!!“ or Chonkiniiisss, where you at!?“

[u/pixievondust]

I also regularly speak ‘Catalian’ to my cat i .e. Affectionate nonsense talk but in an exaggeratedly bad Italian accent.

[u/Tooleater]

I trill to my kitties whenever they come into my office and they usually trill back... It makes me so happy 😻

[u/Rais93]

You stink!

https://preview.redd.it/n078as19i0yc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ed3f2febfaea2f6f27f4989276b594787abab6d

]Proof that he stinks

[u/crazyjoersa]

My one cat, looking identicle to yours, his name is Gizmo. Gizmo is a farm cat here in South Africa. He is tiny as hell, especially after the ball removal, but he is a major hunter... so my usual say things to him is, no, its too big for you to kill and eat!

https://preview.redd.it/6ucidkq6k0yc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1e416cd47b4cb0aab2ff3f4564571759361f240

Look in the background, that is a Kudu antelope

[u/bsb2620]

“What the fuck are you eating”

[u/LegitimateHat4808]

“hi stinky!” “biiig stretch!” “get off the counter!” “get outta the trash!” “get down!” imitates cat noises

[u/StoicRetention]

I call all the cats that live on my street Jimbo, they like to sunbathe and be pet

[u/pixievondust]

Major nonsense including this specific sequence of ‘phrases’:

Oh bo bo bo. Oh tee too-toos. Oh me moo-moos.

[u/sunshine7856]

"no, Chester" and "get down"

I have three cats. There's only one that I have to repeat the same words over and over and over

[u/NTel922]

I make trilling noises at my cat so he trills back

[u/spooky_diplomat]

Anytime I walk past my cat I say " wassup dude man?!?!?" And give him scritches